Kai: The author is _still_ hiding behind her bed- from her own story no less!
TT: *distant* But it's scary... I'm scared to think that _I_ wrote that!!!
Kai: -_-'' Well, anyway, this is- most thankfully- the last chapter for this story-
TT: So review!!!
Kai: Quite interupting or get out here and do this yourself!
TT: T_T I'll be good...
Kai: So, please, _don't_ review, the author doesn't need to be encourage, she needs to be subduded.
TT: Hey!!
Kai: *ignoring TT* And as for the disclaimer, well, if she owned BeyBlade, I would have quit years ago!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kai's eyes widened at the sight of the knife, before narrowing as he looked up at Ray, "Where did you get that?"
Ray raised an eyebrow, "You dropped in on your way out."
There was a slight pause and Kenny took a deep breath, willing himself to speak, "So, care to explain?"
Kai growled, yeah right. First they find out he'd deliberately cut himself- something he most defiantly didn't want his team to know, and then they wanted an explanation? Kai gave then his trademark glare, snatching the knife out of Ray's hand.
"Kai, we're worried about you." The raven-haired blader's voice held a distinct note of pleading.
For a moment, Kai stared at Ray. His usual glare hiding the shock. Once again, Ray insisted that they cared about him... But no, that just couldn't be. No one ever cared about him. The thought was bizarre to the point of being ridiculous. He closed his eyes and turned away, crossing his arms stubbornly.
"WHY DO YOU KEEP PUSHING US AWAY, KAI?!" Tyson yelled at the stoic blader, who showed no sign that he was even listening. "IS IT THAT HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU."
There was a pause, then Kai opened his eyes and turned to Tyson, his shadowed gaze piercing into his soul, "Yes."
There was a stunned silence amongst his teammates. They glanced at each other, then Ray spoke again, his voice quiet. "What do you mean, Kai? Of course we care about you. You're our friend."
Kai's face darkened. Friends? He didn't have friends, never had, and never would. No one cared about him, and he cared for no one else. It was as simple as that. "No, we're teammates. Nothing more."
"You don't really believe that, do you Kai?" Max's usually cheerful voice was, for once, serious. His eyes seemed to be begging the other. "I mean, come on, after all we've been through... You can't think that, can you?"
Kai raised an eyebrow, "Why not?" Vainly, he tried to ignore the voice in his head asking why he should.
"Kai..." Now there was despair in Ray's voice. Kai felt a pang of guilt inside of him, and he unconsciously clutched the knife tighter in his grip.
Why did he feel so bad for making them upset? It wasn't like he _cared_ about them or anything... Heck, he didn't even know how to care!
And yet...
And yet, here he was, having a 'conversation' with them. Why? Because they were worried about him and he, for some reason, wanted to put their minds at ease.
It was probably because he didn't want them to be thinking about him when they should be focused on beyblading... Yes that was it...
And now all he had to do was ignore the little voice in his head whispering 'liar'.
Kai felt as if his remaining sanity was about to shatter at any moment. He longed to retreat back into the walls of his emotionless shield- or was it a prison? But _they_ wouldn't let him.
Every time he tried, they pulled him out again, regardless of what he wanted. But he needed to get away from the confusion, the strange emotions that wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't know any other way too.
The knife suddenly felt warm in his hand. Well, okay, he only knew one other way. But he really didn't want to turn back to it again.
His face was angry, a mask for the confusion he felt. With a last glare, he shoved past and stormed out of the hotel. The moment he was on the street, he started running.
Hoping against all hope that running from his problems could solve them.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Kai!" Ray ran out of the building after the other blader. He saw a flash of Kai's scarf out of the corner of his eye, but nothing else.
Running around the corner he had seen Kai go, he found the street empty. There was no sign of the other. Ray sighed helplessly. "Oh Kai..."
"Ray!" The raven-haired teen turned to see the rest of his team run up, "Where's Kai?!" Tyson all but shouted.
Ray shook his head, "I lost him."
Mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like a curse under his breath, Tyson looked around, "Well, lets go find him! He couldn't have gone far."
With a nod from the others, they ran off, searching vainly for their teammate.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kai had found himself in a park not that far away. The park was quiet and peaceful, with grass, trees, and a stream running through the center.
Currently, Kai was standing on the bridge, leaning forward on the rail and staring at the water below.
The knife was still held tightly in his hand. A part of him wanted to crush it to dust, so that the bloodied object would never be seen again.
But another part savored its presence, longed for its cool steel blade to help his body shed the tears he couldn't. To help him escape the confusion and distress the foreign emotions brought him.
But to do so, to do this to himself, made him weak. Emotions drove him insane, made him weak as well. It seemed his grandfather had been right...
Kai hated himself for thinking that.
Opening his fist, Kai stared down at the bloodied knife. Like a silent savior, or a silent destroyer. Or maybe it was both...
It offered him escape, freedom from the emotions he couldn't understand.
But its price was his weakness, his blood, its control over him, taking away the freedom it offered to give.
The knife's dark stone glimmered, taunting him, as if it knew what Kai was thinking, how Kai wasn't strong enough to get rid of the object that could give him such release from his pent-up emotions.
Kai could have sworn it was gloating.
Kai glared at the dagger, "This is all your fault!" He then froze, and shook his head, "Great, now I'm talking to it." He turned back to the knife. He really should get rid of it.
But he couldn't. He couldn't let himself, no matter how much he wanted to. It was as if he needed to know the dagger was there, an option for him to take, even if he didn't want to. He couldn't get rid of it.
And the dagger knew that too.
Kai clenched his fist around it. His mind felt as if it were about to explode, everything was getting to him, driving him crazy. He wanted to throw back up his mental walls, keep everything away from him. But know that they had been rediscovered, his emotions refused to be shunted away again.
It was as if his only escape was the one he didn't want to use.
Emotions were weak, how many times had he been told that? How many times had he told himself that? Emotions were weak, depending on anyone or anything other than yourself was weak.
Yet they were strong enough to do this to him... It seemed he was weak too.
A sting of pain brought him back to reality. He opened his fist. The blade had cut a small line on the palm of his hand. Fresh blood stained the blade, and his fingers. The pain seemed to give him something else to focus on, made him forget and lose the battle he was fighting in his own head.
He savored the feeling, or was it lack of? But at the same time, he hated it.
'Kai, we're worried about you.' Kai tensed as memories and voices, fresh in his mind, suddenly replayed in his head.
'Is it that hard to believe we actually care about you?' Yes, of course it was. No one cared about him. But, why would they lie, anyway?
'You're our friend.' He didn't have friends. Friends were weak, that's what he'd always been taught.
The voices of his teammates suddenly faded, replaced by another. 'Emotions, friendship, they're all weak!' He could almost feel the punches that were received with every word, 'I will not tolerate weakness!'
And yet, it seemed Kai was weak... But, better weak than like his grandfather...
Like a jolt of electricity, another thought entered the stamped. He'd first stopped cutting... Because it had made him no different to his grandfather...
Kai stared down at the knife in horror. 'We're you're friends, Kai, is that so hard for you to understand?!'
'Emotions are weak, and weakness will not be tolerated!'
'Better weak than like Voltaire...'
And still the bloodied knife gleamed in his hand.
With a sudden surge of resolved hatred towards himself, to the thought he was like Voltaire, Kai flung the knife into the river.
Everything seemed to freeze. Then, the memories seemed to bubble away, back to their corner deep beneath the folds of his mind.
Without the opportunity to escape, the thoughts and emotions that plagued him simmered down, still there, but no long threatening to drive him insane.
Kai felt something else, not quite peace, not quite content, but something in between those two. Something akin to relief.
"KAI!!!" The two-toned haired blader turned to see his team- or was it his friends?- running towards him.
"Kai, there you are! We were worried about you!" Ray was the first to speak.
"You were?" There was still confusion in his voice. Why would anyone be worried about him? But no more doubt over whether Ray was speaking the truth or not. After all, they had no reason to lie.
"You bet we were! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Kai blinked at Tyson. They cared?
Kenny cleared his throat nervously, "Ah, Kai? Where's the..." He couldn't finish his sentence, but he didn't have to.
Kai paused, before turning back and looking into the stream in front of him. The others paused, trying to work out what he meant, before turning to look into the stream to.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Somewhere at the bottom of the stream, lay a silver dagger. The water had washed off the blood, leaving it clean and gleaming in the sun's light.
The slightly bloodied water was away with the current, leaving alone a knife with a bright green stone in the hilt.
TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!
TT: *peeks out from behind her bed* Is it over?
Kai: -_-' Yes. Can I go now?
TT: No!! I'm going to need you for another story or one shot... As soon as I think of one ^^;;
Kai: ...Whatever... What's with the stone in the knife? It was black until the very end.
TT: Oh, its jade.
Kai: ??
TT: I've got this jade necklace, and most of the line it looks black, but if you look at it from a distance or a certain angle it looks bright green!
Kai: ...Okay...
TT: Well, thats the story! Hope you like! And if anyone sends me a flame... Well, I'll thank you because I like fire!
Kai: ... Author no baka.
TT: *distant* But it's scary... I'm scared to think that _I_ wrote that!!!
Kai: -_-'' Well, anyway, this is- most thankfully- the last chapter for this story-
TT: So review!!!
Kai: Quite interupting or get out here and do this yourself!
TT: T_T I'll be good...
Kai: So, please, _don't_ review, the author doesn't need to be encourage, she needs to be subduded.
TT: Hey!!
Kai: *ignoring TT* And as for the disclaimer, well, if she owned BeyBlade, I would have quit years ago!
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kai's eyes widened at the sight of the knife, before narrowing as he looked up at Ray, "Where did you get that?"
Ray raised an eyebrow, "You dropped in on your way out."
There was a slight pause and Kenny took a deep breath, willing himself to speak, "So, care to explain?"
Kai growled, yeah right. First they find out he'd deliberately cut himself- something he most defiantly didn't want his team to know, and then they wanted an explanation? Kai gave then his trademark glare, snatching the knife out of Ray's hand.
"Kai, we're worried about you." The raven-haired blader's voice held a distinct note of pleading.
For a moment, Kai stared at Ray. His usual glare hiding the shock. Once again, Ray insisted that they cared about him... But no, that just couldn't be. No one ever cared about him. The thought was bizarre to the point of being ridiculous. He closed his eyes and turned away, crossing his arms stubbornly.
"WHY DO YOU KEEP PUSHING US AWAY, KAI?!" Tyson yelled at the stoic blader, who showed no sign that he was even listening. "IS IT THAT HARD FOR YOU TO BELIEVE THAT WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU."
There was a pause, then Kai opened his eyes and turned to Tyson, his shadowed gaze piercing into his soul, "Yes."
There was a stunned silence amongst his teammates. They glanced at each other, then Ray spoke again, his voice quiet. "What do you mean, Kai? Of course we care about you. You're our friend."
Kai's face darkened. Friends? He didn't have friends, never had, and never would. No one cared about him, and he cared for no one else. It was as simple as that. "No, we're teammates. Nothing more."
"You don't really believe that, do you Kai?" Max's usually cheerful voice was, for once, serious. His eyes seemed to be begging the other. "I mean, come on, after all we've been through... You can't think that, can you?"
Kai raised an eyebrow, "Why not?" Vainly, he tried to ignore the voice in his head asking why he should.
"Kai..." Now there was despair in Ray's voice. Kai felt a pang of guilt inside of him, and he unconsciously clutched the knife tighter in his grip.
Why did he feel so bad for making them upset? It wasn't like he _cared_ about them or anything... Heck, he didn't even know how to care!
And yet...
And yet, here he was, having a 'conversation' with them. Why? Because they were worried about him and he, for some reason, wanted to put their minds at ease.
It was probably because he didn't want them to be thinking about him when they should be focused on beyblading... Yes that was it...
And now all he had to do was ignore the little voice in his head whispering 'liar'.
Kai felt as if his remaining sanity was about to shatter at any moment. He longed to retreat back into the walls of his emotionless shield- or was it a prison? But _they_ wouldn't let him.
Every time he tried, they pulled him out again, regardless of what he wanted. But he needed to get away from the confusion, the strange emotions that wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't know any other way too.
The knife suddenly felt warm in his hand. Well, okay, he only knew one other way. But he really didn't want to turn back to it again.
His face was angry, a mask for the confusion he felt. With a last glare, he shoved past and stormed out of the hotel. The moment he was on the street, he started running.
Hoping against all hope that running from his problems could solve them.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Kai!" Ray ran out of the building after the other blader. He saw a flash of Kai's scarf out of the corner of his eye, but nothing else.
Running around the corner he had seen Kai go, he found the street empty. There was no sign of the other. Ray sighed helplessly. "Oh Kai..."
"Ray!" The raven-haired teen turned to see the rest of his team run up, "Where's Kai?!" Tyson all but shouted.
Ray shook his head, "I lost him."
Mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like a curse under his breath, Tyson looked around, "Well, lets go find him! He couldn't have gone far."
With a nod from the others, they ran off, searching vainly for their teammate.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Kai had found himself in a park not that far away. The park was quiet and peaceful, with grass, trees, and a stream running through the center.
Currently, Kai was standing on the bridge, leaning forward on the rail and staring at the water below.
The knife was still held tightly in his hand. A part of him wanted to crush it to dust, so that the bloodied object would never be seen again.
But another part savored its presence, longed for its cool steel blade to help his body shed the tears he couldn't. To help him escape the confusion and distress the foreign emotions brought him.
But to do so, to do this to himself, made him weak. Emotions drove him insane, made him weak as well. It seemed his grandfather had been right...
Kai hated himself for thinking that.
Opening his fist, Kai stared down at the bloodied knife. Like a silent savior, or a silent destroyer. Or maybe it was both...
It offered him escape, freedom from the emotions he couldn't understand.
But its price was his weakness, his blood, its control over him, taking away the freedom it offered to give.
The knife's dark stone glimmered, taunting him, as if it knew what Kai was thinking, how Kai wasn't strong enough to get rid of the object that could give him such release from his pent-up emotions.
Kai could have sworn it was gloating.
Kai glared at the dagger, "This is all your fault!" He then froze, and shook his head, "Great, now I'm talking to it." He turned back to the knife. He really should get rid of it.
But he couldn't. He couldn't let himself, no matter how much he wanted to. It was as if he needed to know the dagger was there, an option for him to take, even if he didn't want to. He couldn't get rid of it.
And the dagger knew that too.
Kai clenched his fist around it. His mind felt as if it were about to explode, everything was getting to him, driving him crazy. He wanted to throw back up his mental walls, keep everything away from him. But know that they had been rediscovered, his emotions refused to be shunted away again.
It was as if his only escape was the one he didn't want to use.
Emotions were weak, how many times had he been told that? How many times had he told himself that? Emotions were weak, depending on anyone or anything other than yourself was weak.
Yet they were strong enough to do this to him... It seemed he was weak too.
A sting of pain brought him back to reality. He opened his fist. The blade had cut a small line on the palm of his hand. Fresh blood stained the blade, and his fingers. The pain seemed to give him something else to focus on, made him forget and lose the battle he was fighting in his own head.
He savored the feeling, or was it lack of? But at the same time, he hated it.
'Kai, we're worried about you.' Kai tensed as memories and voices, fresh in his mind, suddenly replayed in his head.
'Is it that hard to believe we actually care about you?' Yes, of course it was. No one cared about him. But, why would they lie, anyway?
'You're our friend.' He didn't have friends. Friends were weak, that's what he'd always been taught.
The voices of his teammates suddenly faded, replaced by another. 'Emotions, friendship, they're all weak!' He could almost feel the punches that were received with every word, 'I will not tolerate weakness!'
And yet, it seemed Kai was weak... But, better weak than like his grandfather...
Like a jolt of electricity, another thought entered the stamped. He'd first stopped cutting... Because it had made him no different to his grandfather...
Kai stared down at the knife in horror. 'We're you're friends, Kai, is that so hard for you to understand?!'
'Emotions are weak, and weakness will not be tolerated!'
'Better weak than like Voltaire...'
And still the bloodied knife gleamed in his hand.
With a sudden surge of resolved hatred towards himself, to the thought he was like Voltaire, Kai flung the knife into the river.
Everything seemed to freeze. Then, the memories seemed to bubble away, back to their corner deep beneath the folds of his mind.
Without the opportunity to escape, the thoughts and emotions that plagued him simmered down, still there, but no long threatening to drive him insane.
Kai felt something else, not quite peace, not quite content, but something in between those two. Something akin to relief.
"KAI!!!" The two-toned haired blader turned to see his team- or was it his friends?- running towards him.
"Kai, there you are! We were worried about you!" Ray was the first to speak.
"You were?" There was still confusion in his voice. Why would anyone be worried about him? But no more doubt over whether Ray was speaking the truth or not. After all, they had no reason to lie.
"You bet we were! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Kai blinked at Tyson. They cared?
Kenny cleared his throat nervously, "Ah, Kai? Where's the..." He couldn't finish his sentence, but he didn't have to.
Kai paused, before turning back and looking into the stream in front of him. The others paused, trying to work out what he meant, before turning to look into the stream to.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Somewhere at the bottom of the stream, lay a silver dagger. The water had washed off the blood, leaving it clean and gleaming in the sun's light.
The slightly bloodied water was away with the current, leaving alone a knife with a bright green stone in the hilt.
TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!TheEnd!
TT: *peeks out from behind her bed* Is it over?
Kai: -_-' Yes. Can I go now?
TT: No!! I'm going to need you for another story or one shot... As soon as I think of one ^^;;
Kai: ...Whatever... What's with the stone in the knife? It was black until the very end.
TT: Oh, its jade.
Kai: ??
TT: I've got this jade necklace, and most of the line it looks black, but if you look at it from a distance or a certain angle it looks bright green!
Kai: ...Okay...
TT: Well, thats the story! Hope you like! And if anyone sends me a flame... Well, I'll thank you because I like fire!
Kai: ... Author no baka.
