Teena: Anou... Another freaky X internal monologue. Well, it's not quite
what was asked for.. *grins at a certain reviewer, you know who you are*
but it's Fuuma, and it REFERS to Dark!Fuuma...

Fuuma: *muttermutter* Writing fics about that wuss when I'm still waiting,
quite PATIENTLY I might add, for the S&M lemon with Kamui I asked for...

Teena: Pardon? I never said I was going to write that, Fuuma. In fact, I
seem to recall CRINGING at the idea. Do the disclaimer.

Fuuma: Naze? Why should I help you if you won't help me?

Teena: ...Fine, I'll do my OWN damn disclaimer. I don't own X, I don't
own Dork!Fuuma, Dark!Fuuma, or any other characters referred to in this
fic. ...I would like to own Kamui's wedding dress, though.

Gomen Nasai

Gomen nasai, Kamui.

Such weak, pitiful words, but they are all I can think, every time I
look at you through eyes that are no longer mine. Flimsy apologies for
what you have suffered at my hands, hands that I do not control. Apologies
that you will never hear, because the Other is too busy using my lips to
speak threats and cruel taunts. I struggle every time you and he clash,
every time I see your face, the tears in your eyes as you plead for my
return. I fight for the body that should be mine, but I never win. I
promised to protect you, but every time, I fail.

Gomen nasai, Kamui.

I wish I could help you somehow. If nothing else, I wish I could let
you know that I am still here, and that I don't want any of this, that
I NEVER wanted to hurt you like this. ...It's ironic. The Other goes
about indulging his penchant for granting Wishes, but he never grants
mine. You would think it would be the least he could do, sort of like
paying rent for using my body this way. But he wants you broken, so that
you can't fight him on the Final Day. And my only wish, my greatest, most
powerful Wish, is to help you, to comfort you, and to tell you that this
is NOT your fault, and that you need to do what has to be done.

Gomen nasai, Kamui.

Kotori sacrificed herself, so that the Earth wouldn't shatter. So that
YOU would not shatter it, and bear that guilt. I know that much from
things Kakyou has said to the Other. But I'm still not sure what she did.
She said that the Future is not yet determined, what did she see? What
did she change, to help you? So far, your side is losing, you can't bring
yourself to fight the Other that comes to you, looking like me, using my
body and my voice to hurt you. DID she do anything to help you, or did
she just try to shift your decision to the Ten no Ryu, so you as least
would not bear the guilt? ...What would have happened if you had chosen
the Chi no Ryu, Kamui? Would you suffer what I do now, stifling under
the control of the Other? If that is the case...then I'm happy to be
here, and Kotori was not the only one to be sacrificed for you that day.

Gomen nasai, Kamui.

I know you never wanted Kotori and I to be involved. I know you never
wanted ANYONE to be sacrificed for you, least of all us. I don't blame
you, Kamui, and I wish you didn't blame yourself. We involved ourselves,
because we cared about you. I STILL care about you, and I'm sure wherever
Kotori is, she does, too. We only want you to live and be happy. Kotori
and I both loved you, in our own ways. I still want to laugh when I recall
you declaring that when you grew up, you would be Kotori's bride. I knew
that wasn't quite right, but you looked so happy, I couldn't bear to tell
you so. ...I'm sure you would have looked very cute in a wedding dress,
though. Kotori and I never quarreled over you, there was no jealousy
there. We both loved you, and we loved each other just as much, and so
whichever of us you eventually would have ended up with, the third would
just be happy, seeing two loved ones so happy together. We decided that a
long time ago, though of course you never quite realized I loved you that
way. ...I probably should have told you before you left.

Gomen nasai, Kamui.

I hope you can forgive me for everything. For everything I have done, and
everything I haven't done, and everything the Other has done, using me. ...I
will tell you a secret, though I know you can't hear me. I don't fight him
with everything I have. I fight hard, but not as hard as I could. I have to
wait for the moment when I can actually make a difference, end this once
and for all. The Final Day. It's the only time. When you and the Other use
the two Shinken to decide the fate of the world. That is when I'll strike,
and keep my promise to you. I will be the last sacrifice, and I will take
the Other with me. Please, even without us, live, Kamui. Be happy.

Gomen nasai, Kamui....

~owari~

Teena: And there it is. I'm with Fuuma, I'll bet Kamui WOULD look cute in
a wedding dress.

Fuuma: He's cuter in handcuffs and blood.

Teena: UreSAI....