Chapter 32

"Wery well. I won't dabble in your own affairs," said Kaloski. The admiral straightened in his chair and cleared his throat. "Enjoy your leave." The transmission broke.

"Then we're all set," said Brown smiling. Saavik nodded. At his station Lucas Tavell turned around awaiting Saavik's next order.

"Mr Tavell plot a course and take us to Earth." Saavik turned in her chair. "Mr Spock?"

"Nothing Captain." Saavik nodded and got to her feet.

"May I speak with you?" She said quietly.

"Of course."

"I mean in private." She stepped up onto the outer section of the control centre. "The ready room. Lieutenant Picard please take the Conn." Jean Luc Picard got to his feet and positioned himself in the vacant command chair. Saavik noticed Brown's surprised expression.

"The Lieutenant needs experience if he is to gain his ultimate goal of command." Picard looked across at her and smiled.

"Thank you Captain."

Spock followed Saavik into the small en suit captain's office. They passed through and Saavik stood in front of the shining ebony desk.

"Please sit down," she said. Spock obeyed and sat in the chair facing her. He straightened the tunic he wore. She grabbed the nearest chair to sit next to him. The Vulcan realised she was actually nervous. He could still sense her mind. It was the residue of the meld from the night before. He knew it was only natural.

"Doctor Berger wants to do complete physical on you," she said firstly. Spock nodded and folded his hands neatly in his lap. "Secondly..." she paused and decided to change the subject, "...I saw Doctor Berger myself today." Spock remained silent and listened. "He says I have contracted Zajorin Fever." Spock raised a brow.

"Zajorin Fever. Then I assume that the doctor has ordered you to rest?"

"Yes he did," Saavik said nodding. "I have technically been declared unfit for duty."

"I did not know you were suffering. You should have told me."

"I just came from the sickbay," she said. "I went for a routine medical and it was diagnosed in the early stages. He said that I can not begin the medication until I have got considerably worse."

"That is true." Saavik frowned.

"How do you know such things?"

"While aboard the Enterprise, Doctor Leonard McCoy thought I had it. He was in fact in error. I had a cold."

"A cold?" Saavik's eyes widened.

"That is correct."

"How can that be possible? You are a Vulcan only Humans..."

"You forget. I am half human."

"Forgive me," she said.

"May I ask you if I can join you on your leave? I myself am due to a few weeks of relaxation." Saavik looked surprised.

"Of course, but I haven't decided where to go yet." Saavik decided it was about time she voiced what she originally had wanted to talk to him about, but she didn't quite know how to put words together and to form the sentence.

"There is something else," she whispered. For a moment she could not speak. Saavik glanced down at her hands. They were trembling. Quickly she folded them before Spock could notice. He waited patiently for what she wanted to say, but Saavik found it difficult.

Finally her gaze met his eyes. He blinked.

Saavik shook her head. How could it be so hard to ask? She thought, but it was. Saavik feared what he might think and the answer he might give her.

"This is difficult I-"

"Please tell me," he said interrupting. Without realising it she reached out her hand towards his. Spock glanced down. She felt something flow into her mind. It was bewilderment. Saavik recognised it as coming from him and she realised they were still joined in some way.

"I cannot put this request this lightly. I find it difficult to ask."

"Please speak it out." Saavik straightened and put on her best poker face.

"Very well."

"Please go ahead."

"About last night," she said. "You haven't forgotten what happened between us?"

"No?" His eyebrows knotted together.

Saavik swallowed hard. "I have been thinking." Spock nodded and waited. "I have given it quite considerable thought. It is of a...personal matter concerning you and myself."

He started to speak, "Saavik-" but she cut him off.

"Please sir I must finish what I was about to ask you." His eyes widened a little.

"Proceed." Spock's brow raised a slight fraction.

"Will you take me as your mate?" For a moment there was silence between both of them. He should have known she would speak of this.

"Marriage?" He appeared a little overwhelmed. Saavik bowed her head. Finally she got to her feet.

"Forgive me sir," she said. "I do not know what I am thinking of." She shook her head. "I am behaving illogically. I do not know how to deal with this. I have never before found myself in this position. Least of all with you." She looked at him almost with desperation and prepared to leave, but he stopped her. His hand lightly grasped her arm.

"There is nothing to forgive," he said standing behind her. "It would be illogical if we continue to deny these feelings."

For a moment their solid walls of restraint weakened. Their eyes met and she could see the warmth penetrating through the normally cold Vulcan gaze.

"We must talk about this further," he said.

"This evening?"

"Good," he said Saavik slowly pulled her hand free and got to her feet. She straightened her uniform jacket.

"Please do not believe that I am pushing you," she murmured.

"Of course not."

"I must leave now," she said. Her voice wavered. They headed toward the door.

"Saavikam..." he said. She stopped. He was standing just behind her. "I..." He could not make the unspoken words come to his lips, but Saavik already knew what he wanted to say.

"We will see each other later," she said.

"I shall seek out the physician," said Captain Spock. "And you, you are supposed to be off duty. I believe the doctor has your best interests at heart." Saavik nodded.

"Yes."

They left the room together and Spock proceeded towards the turbo lift at the back of the bridge. Saavik sat down in the centre seat. The other Vulcan stepped up onto the upper level of the bridge and exited.

"Katherine I need to speak with you." She said quietly to her first officer.