Title: Winds of Change
Author: Kary Starr
Ship: Harry/Hermione
Rating: PG-13/R
Summary: After the Great War, things have changed. Hermione learns to deal with what life is really about, and how to deal it-realizing that not everything can be handled on her own.
Genre: Angst, Romance, Humour
Story Canon: 1-5
AN: This is the fourth chapter I have posted, and my AN are running thin. I have not seen any good movies, but I can tell you what's going on in my life, as if you care. At all. Which you won't, as your eyes skim this and move on to the story. Don't blame you. I would too.
So, anyway, in October, my friends are going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show. Cool, eh? And, for our Winter Formal, my three friends and I are going to dress up as Sgt. Pepper. I'm Paul, btw. Awesomely blue. And I need some new songs. I have "Bring Me To Life" stuck in my head. A travesty, I tell you.
Well, nothing else to say.
Love you.
Read and review.
* * *
Chapter Seven: Gray
* * *
Hermione frowned as Ron made a particularly loud exclamation from across the table, where he and Harry had taken up playing Wizards' Chess; apparently, Ron had Harry's Queen cornered and had just killed her with his bishop. But that did not excuse his awful interruption, especially when Hermione had just settled down into her book, Practical Defenses for Protecting Yourself Against the Dark Arts Volume 23. Her homework was all caught up, both for her normal classes and Advanced classes (certainly Harry and Ron were far from this, but did they learn nothing over the last two years?).
"Can't you two...be a little bit more...less enthusiastic?" Hermione scolded, marking her place in the book and moving over to their game. The Common Room was shockingly empty; a school-wide snowball fight was going on outside, and anyone interested went to participate. Harry and Ron were tired and, using the excuse of homework, retreated to the quiet of the Common Room for a rousing game of chess.
Harry leaned back and frowned, making his move. "Sorry, Hermione," he said absentmindedly, watching his pawn be destroyed by a rampaging and unmerciful Queen.
She tutted under her breath and leaned into the game, her hair falling in her face. "Why don't we get some fresh air?"
"What, visit Hagrid?" said Ron, as he checkmated Harry. Harry sighed irritably, frustrated, and closed his eyes. "Or do you want to toboggan, I've not done that in like, seven years or whatever."
Hermione smiled. "That sounds like fun. Do we have a toboggan board?"
"No, but Gin does, saw her take it out last weekend. She's with Dean, you could kip it quick, Hermione," replied Ron.
She rolled her eyes. "Sure, Ron," she said, slapping her knees and standing, "I'll get it. You two should get your outside gear then."
Harry stood. Hermione looked at him for a moment. "Unless you're not in the mood, Harry?" she asked tentatively.
He turned his head at her. "No, that does sound like fun. I need something like this to take my mind off...things," sad Harry, casting his eyes away. He appeared to be, once again, in deep thought. Hermione chose to not prod him further and ran up the stairs into the sixth year girls' dorm, opened Ginny's wardrobe (many odd things fell out, including books, presents and two black robes). Tucked in the back was the red and yellow plastic board, and she pulled it out, pushing other things aside, and quickly putting everything back. She dragged it downstairs, grinning, and heard her name before she could be seen. Hermione's heart quickened, and she stopped.
"What are you talking about Harry?" said Ron, confused.
She could hear him sigh. "It's just that...after Cho left and Hermione was there with me all night, you know...I don't know anymore."
"What don't you know?" replied Ron absentmindedly. She could hear him struggle with his cloak buttons. He always had trouble with them. "What're saying, you like Hermione?"
Her heart felt like it stopped. What? she thought. He...
"I don't know, Ron. Maybe. But then I think of Cho...and I'm all confused. God," he huffed. "If she weren't such a bitch, this would be easier."
"Sounds like it's easy to me, mate," answered Ron. "Just think of who you like better."
She peaked around the corner to see Harry throw him a nasty look. "Thanks for listening, Ron. You're so fucking thick sometimes."
"Wha-at?" Ron said. "You want my opinion? You sound like you're still in love with Cho, but are flattered by Hermione's attention. That's it."
Hermione narrowed her eyes. You son of a bitch, Ron. What are you doing? He...he might like me...don't un-convince him of it! Flattered by my attention? Well, someone had to, you know, because other people were finding it much easier to ignore him and stick his tongue down a certain girl's throat!
She cleared her throat and entered. Ron and Harry jumped, and she threw the toboggan at them. "I've got to go get my things," said Hermione testily. "Wait here, won't you?" But she didn't wait for a reply; instead she walked away and into her own room. She was angry with Ron, not because of him knocking down Harry's confusion, but because he was right. Harry really was in love with Cho, and Hermione has seen testament to this-it was foolish to think of anything different. But, that was only something to comfort her mind. Not her heart.
She pulled on her cloak and her gloved, walking out holding a hat and scarf. Hermione forced a smile at him, though Harry was not looking at her. Ron,however, was oblivious and holding up the toboggan like a prize. "I can't wait to get on those hills," he remarked, grinning at the two of them.
They grinned back, if just for him.
* * *
"Let's do doubles!" Ron yelled over the brusque wind, his cheeks now as red as his hair. Hermione laughed at him, and Harry smiled widely.
"Fine!" Harry said, sitting on the plastic ride of death. He grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her on the toboggan, slumping up hard against him. She caught her breath and then Ron pushed them down the hill, which was very long and very steep.
They found it on the south side of the castle, and had been sliding down it one at a time for the last hour. It had gotten very tedious before Ron's suggestion, which meant considerable more hazard for the people on the board, as the toboggan was meant for one, seated one, except if you squished two together very close.
"Oh my God, we're gonna die!" Hermione screamed, holding his shoulder tightly as the countryside whizzed by.
"You always say that!" shouted Harry in reply, swerving around a tree. He turned his head to her for a moment-a brief moment-
Hermione was shrieking bloody murder as they became airborne off one of the jumps, flying through the air, as Harry was laughing almost maniacally. When they landed (not well), they flew off the board and rolled down the hill against each other until the end, the toboggan sliding almost shyly next to them. Harry lay flattening Hermione at the end of the hill, the both of them laughing so hard, their tears were freezing to their faces.
"That was such a stupid idea," Hermione wheezed, "and I'm gonna kill Ron!"
Harry stopped laughing, but was still grinning. "Aw, come on, that was fun, right?"
"All the more fun when you're...not...crushing me!" she laughed, her hands against his chest.
Harry raised an eyebrow. Leaning into her, he whispered, "Am I crushing you? Seriously? Because, to tell the truth, you're quite comfy in three thousand pounds of cloak..."
"You're too heavy!" replied Hermione, trying to be stern, but felt herself quiver as she felt his warm breath on her face, disappearing in a blue mist. She pushed up on him, and he laughed, dropping back.
He fell into the snow and looked up at the sky. "This really was a great way to keep my mind off of...my troubles," he said, blinking very calculatedly.
Hermione leaned up. "Forget about it, Harry. It'll fix itself. What happened really wasn't your fault-"
She paused as Harry sat up, looking at her intently, like he'd just awoken from deep sleep. "Look, Hermione, I just want to say, I appreciate everything you've done for me in the last year, but after last today, I realized something."
"What?" replied Hermione timidly.
Harry took a deep breath. "As much as I like Cho-and I do, I mean, I did-I think I fell in love with the external Cho, the Cho she presents to the world. But the real Cho-the Cho I've had to deal with these last couple of months-is not whom I'm in love with."
Hermione drew in cold air quickly. "So what does that mean, Harry?"
"I..." he paused, looking right at her. "I don't think Cho and I can be fixed. I think I...I'm done. I'm tired of being the puppet, constantly hounded and accused..."
"But..." Hermione whispered, putting a hand to her mouth, "what about all those other times? You two looked so happy..." Shut up, you moron. He's just saying he's done with Cho! The moment of a lifetime!
Not right now. No, not at all. Why should I be thinking of only myself? I should be thinking of Harry's feelings right now...he's practically declaring that he no longer cares for Cho...but I know it's wrong. I've seen him so happy...but with Cho....
"Sometimes, she was all right," Harry was saying, "and others...and there have been a lot more others lately," he continued, carefully avoiding her gaze, "...other times she was just so controlling it was no longer any fun."
Hermione felt her laughter die, when just before she was happy; it was deflating like a balloon. "Oh, Harry-is this why you were so quiet all this morning? And last night? Were you...sitting up all night thinking about this?"
Harry shrugged. "I guess."
There was a very pregnant pause. Not knowing what else to do, Hermione stood up, and extended her hands. "We'd better get back to Ron. I'm...I'm really sorry about you and Cho...I didn't realize that you'd been like that for a while..."
"No one did," he said, quietly, taking her hands and allowed himself to be heaved up. Harry fell into her, and grabbed her shoulders. "Because I didn't want to believe it myself. That would mean that Cho and I were never really meant to be, you know."
She gazed up at him. "That's always the fear with a new or ending relationship, Harry," said Hermione softly, feeling as if it was almost knowingly. "Realizing that you and she might never be...well...together, forever."
Harry snorted, a mist of blue air engulfing him. "Yeah, well, some of us realize this a little too late, huh, Hermione?" He pushed her back and started to walk up the hill angrily, stomping in the snow and sinking in a few inches.
Hermione grabbed the toboggan and ran after him. "What is that supposed to mean?" she snapped, stepping in front of him.
He rolled his eyes and gave her a haughty look. "Certainly, Hermione, I wouldn't think that you've missed anything, have you?"
She blinked, and took a step back. "What?"
Harry narrowed his eyes. "How nice of you to give me love advice about relationships when, last I heard, that's something you can't learn out of a book. Impressive when we were younger, I'm sure, and when we were all new to this it might have sounded quite convincing, but I don't appreciate you telling me that learning to get over a loss is something of a hazard in a relationship."
Hermione felt tears sting her eyes. She tried to push them back, but it was no use. They started to fall down her face, warm and angry at the same time. After all I've done, after all I've told him-after he asked!-he is going to stand here and tell me that my advice is wrong, and unwarranted, because I'm inexperienced?! Well, Harry-
She found herself saying her last bit aloud, "Well, Harry, I'm quite certain my inexperience is far from my own choosing!" With than, she threw the plastic board at his stomach and ran off, not looking back, and stormed back to the castle.
"That...I can't believe...how could he..." she fumed, not making much sense, but unable to string an entire sentence together without having to censor herself. Hermione started to pull open the Entrance doors into the school when it was slammed shut for her. She turned around to see Harry, clearly out of breath.
"When you fume, you must drown out everything," panted Harry. "Look, what I said was uncalled for. I know you're the only one who...seems to understand my situation, and you do give out really good advice, not because you're inexperienced, but because you see the situation better- you're unbiased. I'm really sorry for what I said. I'm just...tired...and a little stressed out...and snappish."
Hermione looked at him closely. She felt the tears well up in her eyes again. "I'm...I'm sorry too," she cried. "I don't know everything, but there are a couple things that I wouldn't mind having done." Hermione paused. "I think I want to read now," she finished quietly, "if you'll just let me inside-"
Ron came up behind Harry. "I sent him over. You two all right? You are having more rows than Hermione and I are."
"Shocking," Hermione breathed sarcastically, opening her eyes a little more. "No, we're okay. You want to go back inside?"
"Does that mean hot chocolate?" asked Ron anxiously.
Hermione laughed in spite of herself, and wiped away the remaining tears. "Yeah, Ron, it means hot chocolate. You're a little addict, aren't you?"
"I'm not surprised, so why are you? Better remember my oddities, because hell, I'll be with you two all week long, because Luna's at home, and I'm just a little lonely myself."
"What about your home?" Harry said suddenly, turning to him. "Why aren't you home for Christmas holiday?"
"My parents asked us-that is, me and Gin-to stay here, so they could have something of a second honeymoon." Ron made a very horrified and revolting face.
"Oh, Ron, that was too much information," Hermione groaned, covering her eyes.
"Well, I wasn't exactly pleased to hear it myself," argued Ron. "I thought it would be easier to bear the pain if I told someone."
"You did not," replied Hermione. "You did that to be disgusting."
Ron thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yep, that too." Hermione smacked his arm and then entered the Entrance Hall. As they entered, they saw-or, rather, caught-Ginny and Dean, walking across the Main Staircase, clutching one another in a deep kiss.
"Ugh, Ginny," cried Ron, turning his head and sticking out his tongue. "Get a room-waiiit, no, just...separate...Harry, mate, help me out?"
He shook his head. "Uh uh, no way, not going there. I could loose limbs going up against her," Harry added, pointing at a grinning Ginny.
Ron turned his head pathetically to Hermione, who held out her hands in defeat, and back away into Harry. "I'm with Harry on this, you attack yourself, don't drag us into it."
Ginny and Dean, however, got the point and wandered over to them. "Hey, Ron, Hermione...Harry," said Ginny, smiling at them. It faltered when she turned to Harry. "I heard about Cho, I'm really sorry."
Harry shrugged. "Doesn't really matter now anyway," he said.
She gave Harry a sympathetic, disbelieving look, and turned to Ron, who was carrying her toboggan. She seemed surprised to see it there. "Hey, that's mine. Why do you have it?"
"'Cause we wanted to borrow it," said Ron matter-of-factly.
Ginny sighed. She looked at Dean, giving him a withering glance, and then looked at Hermione, who was still subconsciously standing next to Harry. She gave Hermione a peculiar gaze, and then wrapped her hand around Dean's arm. "We were going to have some dinner, so we'll see you later, all right?"
"Yeah," Ron replied absentmindedly, waving his hand at her. "I need to get warm. Let's go," he finished, turning to Hermione and Harry.
"Right," said Hermione, walking up the staircase, Harry following.
Ginny was still looking after them.
* * *
Hermione walked up the stairs and into the Gryffindor Common Room. She'd just finished working in the library, and rubbed her eyes. It must be past midnight, she thought, yawning.
She entered the main area and expected to see no one, but instead caught a shadow by the fire as she went to tell the portrait the password to enter her Head Girl's Room. Hermione turned and looked, studying the dancing wall, and realized that Harry was sitting with his elbows on his knees, gazing into the fire.
"Harry?" whispered Hermione, walking over to him. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing evenly. Hermione guessed that he must've fallen asleep sitting there. "Oh, Harry," she said quietly, pulling a throw from the end of the couch and wrapping it over his shoulders. She squatted in front of him, pulling the blanket down more around his shoulders to stay on.
Hermione gazed into his face, brushing back thick black bangs of hair gently. "Why do you have to be so unattainable?" she said to him tenderly, cupping her hand around his face. He leaned into it softly, smiling.
"Hermione," he whispered. She jumped back, moving her hand like it was on fire, and tried to control her quickened breathing.
Harry shifted in his seat and then opened her eyes. He saw Hermione looking rather upset.
"Hermione, what's wrong?"
"N-nothing," stammered Hermione, sitting back. "Sorry. Why were you here, anyway?" She twisted her hair in her fingers, drawing it down around her face. Oh my God...
"I was just thinking," Harry replied, standing and stretching. Hermione followed suit, her eyes slightly bulging. Did he hear me? She looked away, shaking. "Hermione?" He placed a hand on her arm.
"I'm fine Harry, I'm fine." Her voice was a little bit higher than she liked. God, get a hold of yourself...he was asleep.... He didn't hear....
"Hey," he said, "I wanted to talk to you."
"What?" She jumped. "Why?"
Harry sighed, looking at her. "I've been thinking...a lot...about what's happened..."
Hermione blinked.
"And I...just wanted...to..." His eyes met hers. Hermione was trembling. "To ask you..." Harry's hand extended to her arm, tracing down from her elbow to her hand, and taking it in his own.
"Harry?" she asked timidly. His other hand went to the small strand of hair that had fell in her face, and moved it around her ear. He pulled his hand down around her chin, and moved it close to his face. Hermione looked in his eyes, not daring to believe this-
Harry glanced down at her lips and then back at in her eyes, back down to her lips. He leaned in even closer, and Hermione felt her eyes close...waiting...waiting....
A dull, horrible, beep interrupted her moment.
Hermione opened one eye, and looked at the wizarding clock. It was beeping six.
The sky was dark gray and foreboding, introducing a new and dismal Sunday morning
Why? Why did it have to end there? Some cruel injustice of the world is at hand here....
Life is so totally unfair.
Author: Kary Starr
Ship: Harry/Hermione
Rating: PG-13/R
Summary: After the Great War, things have changed. Hermione learns to deal with what life is really about, and how to deal it-realizing that not everything can be handled on her own.
Genre: Angst, Romance, Humour
Story Canon: 1-5
AN: This is the fourth chapter I have posted, and my AN are running thin. I have not seen any good movies, but I can tell you what's going on in my life, as if you care. At all. Which you won't, as your eyes skim this and move on to the story. Don't blame you. I would too.
So, anyway, in October, my friends are going to see Rocky Horror Picture Show. Cool, eh? And, for our Winter Formal, my three friends and I are going to dress up as Sgt. Pepper. I'm Paul, btw. Awesomely blue. And I need some new songs. I have "Bring Me To Life" stuck in my head. A travesty, I tell you.
Well, nothing else to say.
Love you.
Read and review.
* * *
Chapter Seven: Gray
* * *
Hermione frowned as Ron made a particularly loud exclamation from across the table, where he and Harry had taken up playing Wizards' Chess; apparently, Ron had Harry's Queen cornered and had just killed her with his bishop. But that did not excuse his awful interruption, especially when Hermione had just settled down into her book, Practical Defenses for Protecting Yourself Against the Dark Arts Volume 23. Her homework was all caught up, both for her normal classes and Advanced classes (certainly Harry and Ron were far from this, but did they learn nothing over the last two years?).
"Can't you two...be a little bit more...less enthusiastic?" Hermione scolded, marking her place in the book and moving over to their game. The Common Room was shockingly empty; a school-wide snowball fight was going on outside, and anyone interested went to participate. Harry and Ron were tired and, using the excuse of homework, retreated to the quiet of the Common Room for a rousing game of chess.
Harry leaned back and frowned, making his move. "Sorry, Hermione," he said absentmindedly, watching his pawn be destroyed by a rampaging and unmerciful Queen.
She tutted under her breath and leaned into the game, her hair falling in her face. "Why don't we get some fresh air?"
"What, visit Hagrid?" said Ron, as he checkmated Harry. Harry sighed irritably, frustrated, and closed his eyes. "Or do you want to toboggan, I've not done that in like, seven years or whatever."
Hermione smiled. "That sounds like fun. Do we have a toboggan board?"
"No, but Gin does, saw her take it out last weekend. She's with Dean, you could kip it quick, Hermione," replied Ron.
She rolled her eyes. "Sure, Ron," she said, slapping her knees and standing, "I'll get it. You two should get your outside gear then."
Harry stood. Hermione looked at him for a moment. "Unless you're not in the mood, Harry?" she asked tentatively.
He turned his head at her. "No, that does sound like fun. I need something like this to take my mind off...things," sad Harry, casting his eyes away. He appeared to be, once again, in deep thought. Hermione chose to not prod him further and ran up the stairs into the sixth year girls' dorm, opened Ginny's wardrobe (many odd things fell out, including books, presents and two black robes). Tucked in the back was the red and yellow plastic board, and she pulled it out, pushing other things aside, and quickly putting everything back. She dragged it downstairs, grinning, and heard her name before she could be seen. Hermione's heart quickened, and she stopped.
"What are you talking about Harry?" said Ron, confused.
She could hear him sigh. "It's just that...after Cho left and Hermione was there with me all night, you know...I don't know anymore."
"What don't you know?" replied Ron absentmindedly. She could hear him struggle with his cloak buttons. He always had trouble with them. "What're saying, you like Hermione?"
Her heart felt like it stopped. What? she thought. He...
"I don't know, Ron. Maybe. But then I think of Cho...and I'm all confused. God," he huffed. "If she weren't such a bitch, this would be easier."
"Sounds like it's easy to me, mate," answered Ron. "Just think of who you like better."
She peaked around the corner to see Harry throw him a nasty look. "Thanks for listening, Ron. You're so fucking thick sometimes."
"Wha-at?" Ron said. "You want my opinion? You sound like you're still in love with Cho, but are flattered by Hermione's attention. That's it."
Hermione narrowed her eyes. You son of a bitch, Ron. What are you doing? He...he might like me...don't un-convince him of it! Flattered by my attention? Well, someone had to, you know, because other people were finding it much easier to ignore him and stick his tongue down a certain girl's throat!
She cleared her throat and entered. Ron and Harry jumped, and she threw the toboggan at them. "I've got to go get my things," said Hermione testily. "Wait here, won't you?" But she didn't wait for a reply; instead she walked away and into her own room. She was angry with Ron, not because of him knocking down Harry's confusion, but because he was right. Harry really was in love with Cho, and Hermione has seen testament to this-it was foolish to think of anything different. But, that was only something to comfort her mind. Not her heart.
She pulled on her cloak and her gloved, walking out holding a hat and scarf. Hermione forced a smile at him, though Harry was not looking at her. Ron,however, was oblivious and holding up the toboggan like a prize. "I can't wait to get on those hills," he remarked, grinning at the two of them.
They grinned back, if just for him.
* * *
"Let's do doubles!" Ron yelled over the brusque wind, his cheeks now as red as his hair. Hermione laughed at him, and Harry smiled widely.
"Fine!" Harry said, sitting on the plastic ride of death. He grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her on the toboggan, slumping up hard against him. She caught her breath and then Ron pushed them down the hill, which was very long and very steep.
They found it on the south side of the castle, and had been sliding down it one at a time for the last hour. It had gotten very tedious before Ron's suggestion, which meant considerable more hazard for the people on the board, as the toboggan was meant for one, seated one, except if you squished two together very close.
"Oh my God, we're gonna die!" Hermione screamed, holding his shoulder tightly as the countryside whizzed by.
"You always say that!" shouted Harry in reply, swerving around a tree. He turned his head to her for a moment-a brief moment-
Hermione was shrieking bloody murder as they became airborne off one of the jumps, flying through the air, as Harry was laughing almost maniacally. When they landed (not well), they flew off the board and rolled down the hill against each other until the end, the toboggan sliding almost shyly next to them. Harry lay flattening Hermione at the end of the hill, the both of them laughing so hard, their tears were freezing to their faces.
"That was such a stupid idea," Hermione wheezed, "and I'm gonna kill Ron!"
Harry stopped laughing, but was still grinning. "Aw, come on, that was fun, right?"
"All the more fun when you're...not...crushing me!" she laughed, her hands against his chest.
Harry raised an eyebrow. Leaning into her, he whispered, "Am I crushing you? Seriously? Because, to tell the truth, you're quite comfy in three thousand pounds of cloak..."
"You're too heavy!" replied Hermione, trying to be stern, but felt herself quiver as she felt his warm breath on her face, disappearing in a blue mist. She pushed up on him, and he laughed, dropping back.
He fell into the snow and looked up at the sky. "This really was a great way to keep my mind off of...my troubles," he said, blinking very calculatedly.
Hermione leaned up. "Forget about it, Harry. It'll fix itself. What happened really wasn't your fault-"
She paused as Harry sat up, looking at her intently, like he'd just awoken from deep sleep. "Look, Hermione, I just want to say, I appreciate everything you've done for me in the last year, but after last today, I realized something."
"What?" replied Hermione timidly.
Harry took a deep breath. "As much as I like Cho-and I do, I mean, I did-I think I fell in love with the external Cho, the Cho she presents to the world. But the real Cho-the Cho I've had to deal with these last couple of months-is not whom I'm in love with."
Hermione drew in cold air quickly. "So what does that mean, Harry?"
"I..." he paused, looking right at her. "I don't think Cho and I can be fixed. I think I...I'm done. I'm tired of being the puppet, constantly hounded and accused..."
"But..." Hermione whispered, putting a hand to her mouth, "what about all those other times? You two looked so happy..." Shut up, you moron. He's just saying he's done with Cho! The moment of a lifetime!
Not right now. No, not at all. Why should I be thinking of only myself? I should be thinking of Harry's feelings right now...he's practically declaring that he no longer cares for Cho...but I know it's wrong. I've seen him so happy...but with Cho....
"Sometimes, she was all right," Harry was saying, "and others...and there have been a lot more others lately," he continued, carefully avoiding her gaze, "...other times she was just so controlling it was no longer any fun."
Hermione felt her laughter die, when just before she was happy; it was deflating like a balloon. "Oh, Harry-is this why you were so quiet all this morning? And last night? Were you...sitting up all night thinking about this?"
Harry shrugged. "I guess."
There was a very pregnant pause. Not knowing what else to do, Hermione stood up, and extended her hands. "We'd better get back to Ron. I'm...I'm really sorry about you and Cho...I didn't realize that you'd been like that for a while..."
"No one did," he said, quietly, taking her hands and allowed himself to be heaved up. Harry fell into her, and grabbed her shoulders. "Because I didn't want to believe it myself. That would mean that Cho and I were never really meant to be, you know."
She gazed up at him. "That's always the fear with a new or ending relationship, Harry," said Hermione softly, feeling as if it was almost knowingly. "Realizing that you and she might never be...well...together, forever."
Harry snorted, a mist of blue air engulfing him. "Yeah, well, some of us realize this a little too late, huh, Hermione?" He pushed her back and started to walk up the hill angrily, stomping in the snow and sinking in a few inches.
Hermione grabbed the toboggan and ran after him. "What is that supposed to mean?" she snapped, stepping in front of him.
He rolled his eyes and gave her a haughty look. "Certainly, Hermione, I wouldn't think that you've missed anything, have you?"
She blinked, and took a step back. "What?"
Harry narrowed his eyes. "How nice of you to give me love advice about relationships when, last I heard, that's something you can't learn out of a book. Impressive when we were younger, I'm sure, and when we were all new to this it might have sounded quite convincing, but I don't appreciate you telling me that learning to get over a loss is something of a hazard in a relationship."
Hermione felt tears sting her eyes. She tried to push them back, but it was no use. They started to fall down her face, warm and angry at the same time. After all I've done, after all I've told him-after he asked!-he is going to stand here and tell me that my advice is wrong, and unwarranted, because I'm inexperienced?! Well, Harry-
She found herself saying her last bit aloud, "Well, Harry, I'm quite certain my inexperience is far from my own choosing!" With than, she threw the plastic board at his stomach and ran off, not looking back, and stormed back to the castle.
"That...I can't believe...how could he..." she fumed, not making much sense, but unable to string an entire sentence together without having to censor herself. Hermione started to pull open the Entrance doors into the school when it was slammed shut for her. She turned around to see Harry, clearly out of breath.
"When you fume, you must drown out everything," panted Harry. "Look, what I said was uncalled for. I know you're the only one who...seems to understand my situation, and you do give out really good advice, not because you're inexperienced, but because you see the situation better- you're unbiased. I'm really sorry for what I said. I'm just...tired...and a little stressed out...and snappish."
Hermione looked at him closely. She felt the tears well up in her eyes again. "I'm...I'm sorry too," she cried. "I don't know everything, but there are a couple things that I wouldn't mind having done." Hermione paused. "I think I want to read now," she finished quietly, "if you'll just let me inside-"
Ron came up behind Harry. "I sent him over. You two all right? You are having more rows than Hermione and I are."
"Shocking," Hermione breathed sarcastically, opening her eyes a little more. "No, we're okay. You want to go back inside?"
"Does that mean hot chocolate?" asked Ron anxiously.
Hermione laughed in spite of herself, and wiped away the remaining tears. "Yeah, Ron, it means hot chocolate. You're a little addict, aren't you?"
"I'm not surprised, so why are you? Better remember my oddities, because hell, I'll be with you two all week long, because Luna's at home, and I'm just a little lonely myself."
"What about your home?" Harry said suddenly, turning to him. "Why aren't you home for Christmas holiday?"
"My parents asked us-that is, me and Gin-to stay here, so they could have something of a second honeymoon." Ron made a very horrified and revolting face.
"Oh, Ron, that was too much information," Hermione groaned, covering her eyes.
"Well, I wasn't exactly pleased to hear it myself," argued Ron. "I thought it would be easier to bear the pain if I told someone."
"You did not," replied Hermione. "You did that to be disgusting."
Ron thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yep, that too." Hermione smacked his arm and then entered the Entrance Hall. As they entered, they saw-or, rather, caught-Ginny and Dean, walking across the Main Staircase, clutching one another in a deep kiss.
"Ugh, Ginny," cried Ron, turning his head and sticking out his tongue. "Get a room-waiiit, no, just...separate...Harry, mate, help me out?"
He shook his head. "Uh uh, no way, not going there. I could loose limbs going up against her," Harry added, pointing at a grinning Ginny.
Ron turned his head pathetically to Hermione, who held out her hands in defeat, and back away into Harry. "I'm with Harry on this, you attack yourself, don't drag us into it."
Ginny and Dean, however, got the point and wandered over to them. "Hey, Ron, Hermione...Harry," said Ginny, smiling at them. It faltered when she turned to Harry. "I heard about Cho, I'm really sorry."
Harry shrugged. "Doesn't really matter now anyway," he said.
She gave Harry a sympathetic, disbelieving look, and turned to Ron, who was carrying her toboggan. She seemed surprised to see it there. "Hey, that's mine. Why do you have it?"
"'Cause we wanted to borrow it," said Ron matter-of-factly.
Ginny sighed. She looked at Dean, giving him a withering glance, and then looked at Hermione, who was still subconsciously standing next to Harry. She gave Hermione a peculiar gaze, and then wrapped her hand around Dean's arm. "We were going to have some dinner, so we'll see you later, all right?"
"Yeah," Ron replied absentmindedly, waving his hand at her. "I need to get warm. Let's go," he finished, turning to Hermione and Harry.
"Right," said Hermione, walking up the staircase, Harry following.
Ginny was still looking after them.
* * *
Hermione walked up the stairs and into the Gryffindor Common Room. She'd just finished working in the library, and rubbed her eyes. It must be past midnight, she thought, yawning.
She entered the main area and expected to see no one, but instead caught a shadow by the fire as she went to tell the portrait the password to enter her Head Girl's Room. Hermione turned and looked, studying the dancing wall, and realized that Harry was sitting with his elbows on his knees, gazing into the fire.
"Harry?" whispered Hermione, walking over to him. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing evenly. Hermione guessed that he must've fallen asleep sitting there. "Oh, Harry," she said quietly, pulling a throw from the end of the couch and wrapping it over his shoulders. She squatted in front of him, pulling the blanket down more around his shoulders to stay on.
Hermione gazed into his face, brushing back thick black bangs of hair gently. "Why do you have to be so unattainable?" she said to him tenderly, cupping her hand around his face. He leaned into it softly, smiling.
"Hermione," he whispered. She jumped back, moving her hand like it was on fire, and tried to control her quickened breathing.
Harry shifted in his seat and then opened her eyes. He saw Hermione looking rather upset.
"Hermione, what's wrong?"
"N-nothing," stammered Hermione, sitting back. "Sorry. Why were you here, anyway?" She twisted her hair in her fingers, drawing it down around her face. Oh my God...
"I was just thinking," Harry replied, standing and stretching. Hermione followed suit, her eyes slightly bulging. Did he hear me? She looked away, shaking. "Hermione?" He placed a hand on her arm.
"I'm fine Harry, I'm fine." Her voice was a little bit higher than she liked. God, get a hold of yourself...he was asleep.... He didn't hear....
"Hey," he said, "I wanted to talk to you."
"What?" She jumped. "Why?"
Harry sighed, looking at her. "I've been thinking...a lot...about what's happened..."
Hermione blinked.
"And I...just wanted...to..." His eyes met hers. Hermione was trembling. "To ask you..." Harry's hand extended to her arm, tracing down from her elbow to her hand, and taking it in his own.
"Harry?" she asked timidly. His other hand went to the small strand of hair that had fell in her face, and moved it around her ear. He pulled his hand down around her chin, and moved it close to his face. Hermione looked in his eyes, not daring to believe this-
Harry glanced down at her lips and then back at in her eyes, back down to her lips. He leaned in even closer, and Hermione felt her eyes close...waiting...waiting....
A dull, horrible, beep interrupted her moment.
Hermione opened one eye, and looked at the wizarding clock. It was beeping six.
The sky was dark gray and foreboding, introducing a new and dismal Sunday morning
Why? Why did it have to end there? Some cruel injustice of the world is at hand here....
Life is so totally unfair.
