Shuffles
Chapter Two: Seth's Gift
-August 15th, 2004-
It was a day after Marissa had revealed the giver of Shuffles, and Summer was still in slight shock. Seth Cohen, who she hadn't even remembered inviting to her party, had gotten her Shuffles.
Wait, that wasn't true. She did remember inviting him. Her stepmother had made her invite everyone in her class. And Seth was in her class when she was eight.
Summer looked at Shuffles. He used to have soft, fluffy fur that was a dark, midnight blue. Over the years, being handled virtually daily, the teddy bear lost its rich color to a lighter hue, a duller blue. The fur wasn't as soft and had been worn down in places.
There was even a patch of fur missing from the back of its head, which Summer had ripped out when she was about ten. She had gotten mad at her stepmother and took it out on Shuffles, ripping a small chunk off. She felt guilty for the poor bear and cried over it for a while. After that, she had attempted to sew thread into the missing patch to fill it in, but all that caused was a few limp strings that dangled there.
Summer lifted up Shuffles' foot and rubbed the velvet pad. Each foot and hand of the bear had one; a small, blue velvet circle that took place of the fur. The one Summer was rubbing, however, was off-colored and hard, a small hole partially formed there. It had been when she was thirteen, and she had her "boyfriend" over. He thought he was cool, with his expensive Zippo (which Summer was convinced he had stolen from his father) and empty pack of Marlboro Lights. Summer knew that he didn't smoke, and the pack had probably been something he rummaged from the trash of his dad's study or found on the ground.
He had teased Summer, holding Shuffles above the Zippo's flame. "Robert, put him down!" she had demanded. He grinned slyly, and tried to toss the bear to her. Somehow, though, the small, sewed-on tag had caught on his pinkie, and Shuffles fell downward. His foot had caught fire, and Robert stomped on it to kill the small flame. He had saved Shuffles from extensive damage, but Summer had dumped him right then and there.
Summer sighed. There were memories in this bear. Memories of her family, her friends. But none of the one who should be remembered. There was nothing in Shuffles that reminded her of Seth. Seth had never been her favorite person, but despite what everyone thought, she didn't hate the dork. And, after all, he had been the one who had given her the plush.
Her fingers traced the bear's face. His thread mouth, his soft fabric nose, his marblish eyes. Shuffles' eyes weren't black, like on most teddy bears. They were chestnut.
Chestnut. Summer recalled drawing a picture of Shuffles with her big 96 box of Crayolas when she was eleven. She had used perfect colors for everything, but she left his eyes for last. She had tried Brown, but it was too plain. She had tried Bittersweet, but it was too pinkish. Burnt Sienna, Raw Sienna, and Tan were too light. Mahogany was too red. Sepia and Copper were too woodsy. And Indian Red was the last brown shade she had.
She had almost broken into tears when it was too light. Her perfect picture, a waste. But when she pressed harder, the color was ideal: a dark, warm brown with the perfect reddish accent. Indian Red wasn't exactly what Summer wanted to call the bear's eyes, it wasn't a good enough name. And when in the next year, 1999, when they changed the name of Indian Red to Chestnut, Summer was pleased. Chestnut was the perfect name for Shuffles' eyes. So she had found the picture, and with the Indian Red/Chestnut crayon, had scrawled "Chestnut Bear" across the previously untitled picture.
Seth's eyes were reminiscent of the bear's. How Summer knew what color Seth's eyes were was beyond her. But she did know, and Seth's eyes were almost exactly like Shuffles'. The only difference was that Seth's eyes were real; they contained real warmth and compassion. Not that Summer knew anything about real compassion.
The picture of Shuffles was tucked away in some old childhood book that was in the attic. The paper was probably slightly yellowed with age and covered in dust. But, no doubt, the vibrancy of the eyes would melt Summer's heart to this day.
Seth's eyes never melted Summer's heart like the bear's did. Why? Maybe because Summer didn't have a wall up with Shuffles. She never let anyone past that wall, save for Shuffles, and she never came from behind that wall. She never let herself see a guy's good side, especially after Robert, and how he tried to ruin her most favorite object.
Most guys were jerks anyway. They wanted one thing from a girl, and one thing only. Summer had learned the hard way. Actually, after Robert, there had been one more guy that she had slowly begun to let in. His name was Sullivan, and he pretended that he loved Summer. Just to get into bed with her. He had been her first, and her only. They had slept together around a dozen times before she figured out that he didn't really love her and he really didn't care.
But maybe Seth could be different. Seth was... well, a dork. And he was innocent, at least from what Summer had seen. He was the type of guy that could be sweet, but Summer was still skeptical. After all, she had never been in a loving relationship. With anyone. And she was afraid.
She was afraid of what could happen if she started something with Seth. But, a nagging voice in the back of her head said, maybe you're afraid of what you'll miss if you start something with Seth. Summer didn't want to listen to the voice, but maybe, just maybe, the voice was onto something.
She hugged the bear. Her phone rang. Grudgingly, she picked it up with a "hello?" It was Marissa.
"Hey, Sum." She cleared her throat. She did that when she was keeping something back.
Summer rolled her eyes. "Okay, you cleared your throat. What is it that you aren't telling me?"
"Well, uh... Ryan and I are going to the beach, on a date, and, Seth, well..."
"Needs a date," Summer guessed.
"He was asking if you'd be willing to go with him," she confirmed.
"I don't know if I'm ready for a commitment," Summer said.
"Commitment? Summer, it's just one date."
"One date can lead to a commitment. Remember Sully... Sullivan? I just need some time. Seth... I guess I don't hate him as much as everyone automatically thinks I do. I just need to get to know him."
"You could use this as an opportunity to get to know him," Marissa offered.
"Marissa," Summer said.
"Okay, okay. You just need time. I get it. At least let him know that," she responded. There was a long pause. "So we're going to go now. Talk to you later."
"Bye," Summer replied, and hung up.
At least let him know that, the voice in her head echoed.
Summer sighed. There was nothing left to do, but that. She got up, Shuffles in hand. She had an idea.
* * *
The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Seth called, and walked to the front door. There was nobody there. He frowned. Weird. Before he turned, though, he noticed a large, cardboard-colored envelope on the doormat.
Seth picked up the manila envelope. Inside was a single sheet of drawing paper. His brow furrowed in curiosity as he inspected the paper. It was a drawing of a blue bear. He knew that bear.
Underneath the picture were the words "Chestnut Bear," scribbled in the same color crayon as the bear's eyes. And underneath the title (in the same color, but much more tidy) was the sentence "When I'm ready."
Seth looked around once more. When you're ready, I'll be here, he thought. Seth shut the door.
End
Chapter Two: Seth's Gift
-August 15th, 2004-
It was a day after Marissa had revealed the giver of Shuffles, and Summer was still in slight shock. Seth Cohen, who she hadn't even remembered inviting to her party, had gotten her Shuffles.
Wait, that wasn't true. She did remember inviting him. Her stepmother had made her invite everyone in her class. And Seth was in her class when she was eight.
Summer looked at Shuffles. He used to have soft, fluffy fur that was a dark, midnight blue. Over the years, being handled virtually daily, the teddy bear lost its rich color to a lighter hue, a duller blue. The fur wasn't as soft and had been worn down in places.
There was even a patch of fur missing from the back of its head, which Summer had ripped out when she was about ten. She had gotten mad at her stepmother and took it out on Shuffles, ripping a small chunk off. She felt guilty for the poor bear and cried over it for a while. After that, she had attempted to sew thread into the missing patch to fill it in, but all that caused was a few limp strings that dangled there.
Summer lifted up Shuffles' foot and rubbed the velvet pad. Each foot and hand of the bear had one; a small, blue velvet circle that took place of the fur. The one Summer was rubbing, however, was off-colored and hard, a small hole partially formed there. It had been when she was thirteen, and she had her "boyfriend" over. He thought he was cool, with his expensive Zippo (which Summer was convinced he had stolen from his father) and empty pack of Marlboro Lights. Summer knew that he didn't smoke, and the pack had probably been something he rummaged from the trash of his dad's study or found on the ground.
He had teased Summer, holding Shuffles above the Zippo's flame. "Robert, put him down!" she had demanded. He grinned slyly, and tried to toss the bear to her. Somehow, though, the small, sewed-on tag had caught on his pinkie, and Shuffles fell downward. His foot had caught fire, and Robert stomped on it to kill the small flame. He had saved Shuffles from extensive damage, but Summer had dumped him right then and there.
Summer sighed. There were memories in this bear. Memories of her family, her friends. But none of the one who should be remembered. There was nothing in Shuffles that reminded her of Seth. Seth had never been her favorite person, but despite what everyone thought, she didn't hate the dork. And, after all, he had been the one who had given her the plush.
Her fingers traced the bear's face. His thread mouth, his soft fabric nose, his marblish eyes. Shuffles' eyes weren't black, like on most teddy bears. They were chestnut.
Chestnut. Summer recalled drawing a picture of Shuffles with her big 96 box of Crayolas when she was eleven. She had used perfect colors for everything, but she left his eyes for last. She had tried Brown, but it was too plain. She had tried Bittersweet, but it was too pinkish. Burnt Sienna, Raw Sienna, and Tan were too light. Mahogany was too red. Sepia and Copper were too woodsy. And Indian Red was the last brown shade she had.
She had almost broken into tears when it was too light. Her perfect picture, a waste. But when she pressed harder, the color was ideal: a dark, warm brown with the perfect reddish accent. Indian Red wasn't exactly what Summer wanted to call the bear's eyes, it wasn't a good enough name. And when in the next year, 1999, when they changed the name of Indian Red to Chestnut, Summer was pleased. Chestnut was the perfect name for Shuffles' eyes. So she had found the picture, and with the Indian Red/Chestnut crayon, had scrawled "Chestnut Bear" across the previously untitled picture.
Seth's eyes were reminiscent of the bear's. How Summer knew what color Seth's eyes were was beyond her. But she did know, and Seth's eyes were almost exactly like Shuffles'. The only difference was that Seth's eyes were real; they contained real warmth and compassion. Not that Summer knew anything about real compassion.
The picture of Shuffles was tucked away in some old childhood book that was in the attic. The paper was probably slightly yellowed with age and covered in dust. But, no doubt, the vibrancy of the eyes would melt Summer's heart to this day.
Seth's eyes never melted Summer's heart like the bear's did. Why? Maybe because Summer didn't have a wall up with Shuffles. She never let anyone past that wall, save for Shuffles, and she never came from behind that wall. She never let herself see a guy's good side, especially after Robert, and how he tried to ruin her most favorite object.
Most guys were jerks anyway. They wanted one thing from a girl, and one thing only. Summer had learned the hard way. Actually, after Robert, there had been one more guy that she had slowly begun to let in. His name was Sullivan, and he pretended that he loved Summer. Just to get into bed with her. He had been her first, and her only. They had slept together around a dozen times before she figured out that he didn't really love her and he really didn't care.
But maybe Seth could be different. Seth was... well, a dork. And he was innocent, at least from what Summer had seen. He was the type of guy that could be sweet, but Summer was still skeptical. After all, she had never been in a loving relationship. With anyone. And she was afraid.
She was afraid of what could happen if she started something with Seth. But, a nagging voice in the back of her head said, maybe you're afraid of what you'll miss if you start something with Seth. Summer didn't want to listen to the voice, but maybe, just maybe, the voice was onto something.
She hugged the bear. Her phone rang. Grudgingly, she picked it up with a "hello?" It was Marissa.
"Hey, Sum." She cleared her throat. She did that when she was keeping something back.
Summer rolled her eyes. "Okay, you cleared your throat. What is it that you aren't telling me?"
"Well, uh... Ryan and I are going to the beach, on a date, and, Seth, well..."
"Needs a date," Summer guessed.
"He was asking if you'd be willing to go with him," she confirmed.
"I don't know if I'm ready for a commitment," Summer said.
"Commitment? Summer, it's just one date."
"One date can lead to a commitment. Remember Sully... Sullivan? I just need some time. Seth... I guess I don't hate him as much as everyone automatically thinks I do. I just need to get to know him."
"You could use this as an opportunity to get to know him," Marissa offered.
"Marissa," Summer said.
"Okay, okay. You just need time. I get it. At least let him know that," she responded. There was a long pause. "So we're going to go now. Talk to you later."
"Bye," Summer replied, and hung up.
At least let him know that, the voice in her head echoed.
Summer sighed. There was nothing left to do, but that. She got up, Shuffles in hand. She had an idea.
* * *
The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Seth called, and walked to the front door. There was nobody there. He frowned. Weird. Before he turned, though, he noticed a large, cardboard-colored envelope on the doormat.
Seth picked up the manila envelope. Inside was a single sheet of drawing paper. His brow furrowed in curiosity as he inspected the paper. It was a drawing of a blue bear. He knew that bear.
Underneath the picture were the words "Chestnut Bear," scribbled in the same color crayon as the bear's eyes. And underneath the title (in the same color, but much more tidy) was the sentence "When I'm ready."
Seth looked around once more. When you're ready, I'll be here, he thought. Seth shut the door.
End
