Elflord: Yo, people. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, so don't even try suing me. It just isn't worth it. Don't try it; it won't work. I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and . . . Soujiro: Do you really think that's necessary? Elford: What do you mean? Soujiro: You keep repeating yourself over and over again. Elflord: Um . . . I guess so. Soujiro: So stop. Elflord: Oh . . . *-_-* okay.

A/N: Just so you know, I don't take plot to be orthodox. I use most parts of the plot as it supports the fic, but I don't feel restrained about revising other parts of the plot according to my own interpretation to better support the fic. Please do not flame for plot reasons.

Silent

You found me dying;

Like a kitten in the rain,

You found me a broken soul,

A beaten dog.

I didn't know I'd been wronged my whole life.

I didn't know why they beat me,

Why they hated me,

Why I was less than them.

I didn't understand why I was sickening to them.

You found me a dam ready to break

And, like true justice, guaranteed me death;

An escape from my existence of pain.

You saw how I welcomed it

Saw my smile in the reflection of the blade . . .

Could you see my insanity?

You spared me . . .

Why?

Perhaps even you do not know

Night after night, you sat with me

Listened to my pathetic stories of midnight woe

Told me of great men and terrible things they did.

You were my sensei, my teacher

My guide when no one cared if I lived or died

Not even me.

Your philosophy was simple

Even a boy could understand it

"If you're strong, you live.

If you're weak, you die."

By that standard, I would die,

But I didn't care.

I doubt I even knew what death meant.

Day after day went by,

A slave, a beaten dog by day

Hanging on your every word by night.

In my hands you placed a sword;

The choice to die or live

To be caged or free

To be weak or strong.

It was not long until my choice was made.

Death, destruction stared me in the face . . .

I chose life . . . I killed them

And in that instant

Perhaps I really believed

That sanity was not a possibility

That the whole world was insane

That to destroy is what men do;

Morality was a weakness

And apathy was strength.

You asked me if I was crying

And I was silent . . . and smiling.

You took me under your wings

Where the harsh winds couldn't blow

And the cold rain wouldn't sting.

I clung to you and your simple ideals

They protected me from empathy

They kept me from my guilt.

Under your watchful eye

I studied your art;

The geometries of the sword,

The languages of murder,

The histories of tyranny,

The science of the psychopath.

You pushed me past my limits,

Killed me over and over inside

Day in and day out

Threw me down and forced me to get up again.

I looked to you for support

And you turned away

Your cold stony heart unable to embrace me.

I never expected that

Never wanted that from you.

From you, I died

Reborn everyday from the death I'd endured.

Systematically, slowly you brainwashed

The words so tempting, so awesome, so silver on my tongue

"If you're strong, you live.

If you're weak, you die."

Like a parrot, I repeated

Over and over, like a mantra

Religiously, zealously I studied it

In a thousand different dreamed of dimensions

From every angle imaginable

Worshipped it like a God

Practiced it like the words of the Amida.

Slowly surely, I became it

Every part of me that was human

Began to wither, fade away,

Every part of my heart that could feel

Began to freeze, withdraw into itself.

You wanted me to be like you.

I listened and was silent . . . and smiling.

And finally, the time you had waited for . . .

A time in which the Joupongatana,

That sacred bond between men

Would finally take power once again.

At last, I was old enough,

Skilled enough, strong enough . . .

A time when I at last could shine above the rest.

Like a little boy, I ran, laughing and playing

Like it was all one big game.

Indeed, I can understand it.

Such exciting times, and I so near the pinnacle. . .

One of the best times in my life.

I didn't even mind it when I lost the first time.

You told me he was weak and I believed you

As I had learned to do so readily.

You said I would beat him the next time,

And I agreed completely.

There was nothing to fear of a man who could not kill.

Why, if you cannot kill, how can you win?

I went into battle confidently

Prepared to finish him off myself

Finish him off . . . that almost sounds funny now

How wrong . . . how could I be so wrong?

For he knew, he knew what and who I was inside

He, too, had suffered

He, too, knew what it was like to be empty

To be an animal . . .

To be a murderer.

He knew what it was like to be used.

He opened the doors you shut

Back to that moment

The moment on the edge, on the line . . .

I lost.

You called me the weak and thought me worthless

But I was not silent . . . and I did not smile.

I leave you, sensei

And I only hope that you survive

That perhaps he can save you too

That perhaps, all along, you were wrong.

Somewhere, somehow, perhaps the weak CAN live

And even the strong can die.

I turn upon a new road today

A road that is empty

Free for me to find my own ways

My own beliefs, my own thoughts,

My own way to live without anyone's influence.

Rurouni . . . it is my name, too

A wanderer, a vagabond abroad

My last chance to save myself . . .

And if you'll let them

You might have a chance too.

And this time

I am not silent . . . and I will not smile.

THE END