Chapter Eighteen

"Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame." Song of Solomon 8:6

It was less than ten days to Hermione's 18th birthday. She'd received an owl from Harry a few days ago, asking her if he could celebrate her birthday with her a weekend early as the Chudley Canons were playing in Wales the weekend of her actual birthday. He suggested Ron come along too 'so it could be just like old times when us three snuck around Hogwarts breaking the rules'.

Hermione grinned as she read Harry's note. Although Harry was busy with his up-and-coming Quidditch career and Ginny, and Ron was at the Auror's Academy and spent most of his free time with Padma, she still heard from 'her boys' very regularly. Especially during this strange and difficult time with her parents gone and Snape a dark presence in the day-to-day of her life, they had been particularly kind and attentive. She'd seen all of her friends regularly at Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley over the months since leaving Hogwarts and now saw many of them still at Hogsbridge during the day. As fun and relaxing as these times were, they were quite over- shadowed by her discoveries about her animagus, her guardian and the knowledge of how she could stop Voldemort.

It had also been eclipsed by her own emotional state which she still did not understand. Most days she felt unnaturally calm but she knew it was not real calm. As Snape had made her realise, what she really was was completely shut down emotionally. Occasionally her emotions erupted with volcanic force like the two nights she'd transformed into the black unicorn and the night she'd pegged books at Snape. In reality, she was always in a dangerous state of tension, ready to explode.

And then there was Snape. What the hell effect did he have on her, anyway? Why did his touch make her burst into life? Almost burst into flames, really. None of the boys she'd kissed at Hogwarts had had that effect. It was ridiculous. He'd hated her for seven solid years and never made any secret of it but now, he kissed her and she wanted to wrap herself around him and. and.. her face burned. If it was anyone else, she'd happily indulge in fantasies of what she'd like to do to him and with him but she had to face him every day still for over a week. Better to quash those thoughts immediately. Besides, although he'd made it graphically clear that he physically desired her there was no indication that he felt anything for her other than desire; desire which he seemed to have subsequently turned off like a tap - quite easily too. If he still desired her, would she be happy just to have a fling with him anyway even if he was up for it once he was no longer her guardian? She didn't know. She had no experience of these things to know how she'd cope in that situation.

She couldn't name her own feelings for him anyway. She certainly cared about his well-being and the thought of him being hurt or killed by the Death Eaters make her blood run cold. She suspected she knew more about him than most people but what did that count for? Their situation was intimate - uncomfortably so at times. Maybe that accounted for his unusual openness with her? Well, openness for him anyway, she qualified.

One thing she did know for certain, given half a chance she'd definitely jump him. She grinned to herself. She'd just have to deal with the fall out afterwards, she decided.

* * *

When Snape came upstairs for breakfast he saw Harry's note next to her plate with the Chudley Canons logo on it. "Another letter from your little boyfriend?" He sneered. "Can't lave you alone for two minutes, can he?"

Hermione simply gave him a 'look' as she forked scrambled egg into her mouth. "We're going out Saturday night. Probably a pub crawl between Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley," she informed him like a dutiful ward once she'd finished chewing.

"You won't be of age yet," Snape said with a frown, mechanically eating his own eggs. "You can't drink."

"I hardly think the pub keepers are going to be worried about it one week before my birthday," Hermione said truthfully.

Snape's mouth tightened but he didn't argue as he knew she was right. "It is just your little boyfriend?" He asked obnoxiously.

"If you're referring to Harry, then no. Ron is coming too," she said smartly.

"Ah! Your other little boyfriend who also won't leave you alone for two minutes," Snape said disdainfully. Hermione just gave him another look which Snape completely ignored. "Is anyone else going?" He drawled.

"Nope. Just us," Hermione said cheerfully, buttering some toast.

Snape frowned. "Their girlfriends aren't going?" He probed.

"Nope. It'll be just us. Just like the old days," she replied, checking to see if she could fit anymore jam onto her toast.

"How nice. The three of you can go on a pub crawl and save the world again," he sneered.

Hermione suddenly got angry. "Oh sod off! You're just pissed because Harry got that Order of Merlin - First Class when he graduated from Hogwarts," she said maliciously.

Snape bristled. "You seem determined to have me be jealous of Potter," he spat. "Have you ever thought that maybe he's jealous about you? Maybe he's jealous that you care more about your study and career than about him?"

Hermione looked at him blankly as though he'd gone mad. "Harry loves Ginny, so why would he be jealous about me and my study?" She said simply.

Snape made a dismissive noise. "Typical, simplistic, Gryffindor thinking," he said contemptuously. "I'm sure he does care about Ginny but maybe she was a consolation prize because you preferred books?"

"Next you'll be suggesting Ron is secretly in love with me too!" Hermione said, rolling her eyes. Snape was meaningfully silent. "Oh, for goodness sake! Surely not!" Hermione said when she realised what his silence meant. "According to you then, the whole of bloody Hogwarts was in love with me! Hey, why stop at Hogwarts? The whole of Hogsmeade too! Maybe all of wizarding England?" She was about to go on when Snape hissed,

"Shut up! You're not very observant are you? Did either of them ask you out while you were at Hogwarts?" He asked sharply.

"Yes, they both did. More than once but that doesn't mean that they were in love.."

"Quiet!" He commanded, interrupting her again. "I'm sure that Harry cares about Ginny and Ron about Padma but that doesn't prevent them having strong feelings for you," he argued.

"No but you're complicating something very simple. Harry loves Ginny. Ron loves Padma. I love both Harry and Ron, and they love me too - but only as friends!" She stressed.

"You have to over-simplify everything, don't you?" He said with disgust.

"And you have to obscure everything, don't you? Get it through your head! Harry and Ron are not in love with me and if they ever were, it no longer matters," she said emphatically.

"Perhaps but it wouldn't take much to re-ignite their feelings. Maybe like a little alcohol?" He said insinuatingly.

Hermione snatched up Harry's letter and marched to her room. She'd had quite enough of Severus Snape for one day!

Snape stared at the cold, rubbery eggs left on his plate. His stomach was churning with sick anxiety. Hermione, Harry, Ron and alcohol were a bad combination to his mind. He didn't want either of those two touching Hermione or even thinking about her in anything but a platonic way. His lean mouth twitched. A couple of 18-year-old hotheads with an attractive girl like Hermione was a recipe for disaster. He knew what teen-age boys were like - add alcohol to the hormones and explosions were guaranteed. Those two cared about her, they'd protect her from other predatory males but he had grave doubts about their own predatory instincts. He suddenly felt nauseous.

* * *

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror and smiled at what she saw. She was wearing a red, tartan mini-skirt with black tights and high-heeled oxfords. The skirt wasn't too short on her, as she wasn't very tall. It came to mid-thigh and looked quite respectable but combined with the tight cashmere crop top and denim jacket, she knew she looked her best. She wore her hair out and lots of red lipstick, just because she loved it.

Harry and Ron were coming round to her place and they were all leaving from there together. Just as she was putting a few things in a small handbag, the doorbell rang. She skipped happily down the stairs to greet her boys and met Snape in the foyer, going to answer the door. He was hoping that the sight of him glowering at them might put a dampner on Ron and Harry's enthusiasm. Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously when he saw what she was wearing. Hermione grinned at him cheerfully and pushed past him to get to the door.

"Hello!" She said excitedly, as she let them in.

Ron and Harry's eyes widened. They knew Hermione was attractive but they'd never seen her dressed quite like that. "Er. wow, Hermione. You look great," Harry said with a lop-sided grin before giving her a hug.

"Yeah, Hermione. You look. you look. really good!" Ron chimed in sounding a bit lost for words, also giving her a hug.

"Thanks," Hermione said with a complacent grin. She turned to go back up the stairs with Ron and Harry when Snape blocked her path.

"Hermione," he said smoothly. "I don't think it's wise to go out in an outfit like that, do you?"

Hermione snorted. "There is nothing wrong with what I'm wearing. I mean, I'm covered from head to toe, really." She argued. Ron and Harry nodded earnestly in agreement.

"Hermione, you know exactly what I mean. I think you should get changed," he said sternly.

"Oh lay off. You know there's nothing wrong with what I'm wearing. Some girls wear far shorter skirts and far less clothes than I am!" She retorted.

"Yes, they do." Ron sighed dreamily. Hermione looked at him with amusement and Snape glared.

"Hermione, there is no need to go out on a pub crawl with your little friends looking like a hooker," Snape said coldly, making the word 'friends' sound like an insult.

"Well, I guess you'd know all about hookers," Hermione said with pure spite, not really believing a word of it. Her feelings were hurt and she knew how to fight dirty. "Besides, I'm not dressed like one - Daddy!" She said pointedly. That last jibe did the trick. Snape backed down immediately and stalked through to his rooms still glowering. Ron and Harry just stared at her. "What?" She said to them innocently, then turned and led them upstairs to the fireplace they were using to get to Diagon Alley.

It was a very long night that passed very quickly. Ron and Harry were in high spirits, as Harry had just found out that day that he'd been offered a place on the National Quidditch team for the World Cup that year. Hermione hugged him tight when she found out and they jumped up and down in a circle, hanging onto each other excitedly like kids in a playground.

After that, the course was set and they proceeded to get very merrily drunk very quickly. They danced together all night and stayed in a tight group. They bumped into George and Pandora at the Three Broomsticks later that night once they'd moved their pub crawl to Hogsmeade, and the five of them took over most of the tiny dance floor for hours. Finally, at around 3am Hermione was falling asleep against Harry, and George and Pandora had headed home an hour before.

"C'mon 'Mione. It's time to go home. You're nearly asleep," Harry said gently, nudging her.

"Hmmm..mmm," was all the reply he got. "I'm so proud of you!" She said again and gave him a hug. Harry grinned and then a minute later pulled her to her feet.

"I don't think she's going to make it via floo," Harry said to Ron with amusement. "We'd better get the night bus."

Ron nodded sleepily in agreement and they headed outside to hail the bus. It appeared out of no-where two minutes later, it's headlights cutting through the darkest time of night and blinding the three friends. Several light posts jumped out of its way as it screeched up to the curb and lurched to a halt. They clambered aboard and Harry paid for the tickets. It wasn't the usual driver with the bad case of acne. This driver was a portly gentleman with a round face and dark hair and a Manchester accent.

They all sat on one bed and giggled as the bus screeched off again. That time of the morning there was only two or three other passengers. A hag sat quietly in one corner, knitting something out of what looked like bright green smoke. An ancient looking, white haired gentleman in eccentric looking robes was in a bed behind them, smoking a pipe of something rather foul smelling that definitely was not tobacco. Another wizard, not much older than they were was sitting near the driver. He was wearing a pointed wizards hat in purple with matching robes and sat bolt upright the entire time, leaning on an elegant ebony and silver cane. He would be quite handsome, Hermione thought hazily, if he didn't have such a severe expression on his face.

By the time the night bus had dropped off the other passengers, it was close to 4am. "Snape is gonna be pissed!" Hermione said gleefully to the boys, the alcohol wearing off as she sipped from a bottle of water Harry had given her when they got on the bus.

"Yes, he is." Harry said, without hesitation. Then grinned too. Ron grinned back at them both.

After the bus had listed to a halt outside Hermione's house, several dustbins jumping out of the way first, they climbed off gratefully. An hour on the night bus when you're drunk was not good for one's sense of well-being, Hermione decided. They tripped happily up to the front door, Hermione in the middle with her arms around each boy's necks and both boys with one arm around her waist. They playfully tried to step on each other's toes and giggled furiously. After Hermione discovered she couldn't unlock the door with her key, Harry gently took it from her and unlocked it himself. That set them all off giggling again.

Snape, who had been awake and paranoid the whole night imagining all sort of unlikely things that the trio were up to could hear them from his rooms. He sighed deeply in disgust when he heard the giggles but felt relieved that Hermione was finally home. He heard them come in, still giggling loudly.

"Shhhhhh! You'll wake up Snape!" Hermione said loudly then started giggling madly again. Ron and Harry joined in. They proceeded to thunder up the stairs.

"I've got to go 'Mione," Harry said regretfully. "I'll have to try and get in a few hours sleep before practise this afternoon."

"I'd better go too," Ron said, through a huge yawn.

"Okay," Hermione said amiably and gave them both a big hug before they disappeared through the fireplace, still yelling "bye" and "love you 'Mione!" as they went.

"Men!" She said after they'd gone. "They spend the night with you then leave just before dawn!" She sniggered to herself, impressing herself with her own wit when she was too drunk to know how silly she sounded.

Suddenly she realised she didn't have her handbag on her. "Great!" She said to herself and thumped down the stairs to look for it. Snape was in the foyer looking awful. "You look awful," she commented, spotting her bag on the floor where she must have dropped it.

"So do you!" He said coolly, examining her from top to toe. She poked out her tongue at him. She was too drunk to care how she looked and she'd had too good a time for Snape to put her in a bad mood.

"Well, I have an excuse! I've been up all night. What's your excuse?" She said reasonably.

"And you're drunk," he added pointedly, ignoring her question. She did look worse for wear, he acknowledged. Her red lipstick had worn off although it had stained her lips a bright red. Her eye make-up was a bit smudged and she looked pale.

Hermione climbed halfway up the stairs and sat down, resting her head on the middle landing and proceeded to go to sleep.

"You can't go to sleep there!" Snape said sharply.

"Why not? It's my house!" She pointed out sleepily and yawned so wide that Snape was astonished.

"Hermione, be sensible and go to your room," he commanded, frowning.

"Come over here and make me, why don't you?" She challenged in a very sleepy, unconvincing way.

Snape had very vivid memories of what had happened the last time she'd thrown down that particular gauntlet and he wasn't even going to go there again. "Hermione, stop behaving like a baby!" He said in his best school teacher voice.

"Go to hell!" She said amiably.

He marched up the stairs to her and firmly pulled her upright by one arm. "C'mon, up you get!" He pulled her to her feet and she quite deliberately leaned against him. Snape suddenly stopped breathing. She smiled at him, daring him to kiss her. Snape closed his eyes for a second and then tugged her up the rest of the stairs.

She leant heavily on him, smiling broadly to herself. Quite deliberately, she put one arm around him in a pretence of bracing herself against him. She staggered a bit too, just for fun. He smelled and felt wonderful. She pressed herself against him harder. Her grin grew bigger which fortunately Snape couldn't see because of the hair falling in her face.

Snape meanwhile, was beginning to feel slightly desperate. She was hugging him again! He could smell her hair and perfume. His face began to burn and he carefully controlled his breathing. All he wanted to do. he deliberately squashed the thought. If he started kissing her, he wouldn't stop. Besides, he knew very well that she was drunk and that was the only reason she was being so provocative. By the time she'd slept this off, she wouldn't even remember this incident.

Finally he dragged her to her room and shoved her onto her bed, feeling relieved. She lay there looking at him, a perfectly innocent expression on her face which Snape had serious doubts about.

"Are you going to tuck me in, Sir?" She teased and curled up on one side.

"Just sleep it off, you silly girl." He said, trying to sound stern but really only sounding a bit breathless. She laughed as he fled from the room, colour staining his sharp cheekbones.

When he got back to his rooms he was thankful that there was only a week left until he was freed of his role as guardian. Hermione had too powerful an effect on his emotions nowadays and the sexual temptation was nearly unbearable, particularly when she behaved in such a provocative way. He sat on the edge of his bed as his legs felt suddenly unsteady. He didn't know what to do. He was at a loss. He felt pulled in ten different directions. He knew he couldn't count her behaviour in a drunken state as any indication that she wanted him as a lover, particularly taking into account their very significant age difference but. He didn't trust himself not to give in to the temptation should that offer come his way again once he was no longer her guardian. If it ever came his way again.

On one hand, he didn't see anything wrong in getting involved with Hermione when she came of age should she want it. On the other, she was vulnerable and had been in a bad place emotionally for the entire time they had been thrown together, and maybe he would be taking advantage of her should she decide she wanted him? Then there was his own feelings on the matter and he doubted he would have the strength to push her away for her own good should she decide she wanted him in any way at all. Tiredly he rubbed one eye with the heel of one slender hand. He needed to sleep. Maybe everything would be clearer when he woke up.