A/N - Obviously this has been written after the release of OotP whereas all my other fiction was written previous to its release. I must admit, I actually cried when I read the chapters in OotP about Snape's past. Poor, miserable git! Naturally it inspired me to write an addendum. ( This addendum is not meant to have a story of its own so much as flesh out the gaps in This Present Darkness and its sequel. If you want to know why this particular crowd are gathering at Hogwarts for Christmas, you would really need to read 'The Times of Restoration', my as yet un-posted redeemed!Draco fic.

Addendum One

"Cursed be the day wherein I was born: let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed. Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father, saying, A man child is born unto thee; making him very glad. And let that man be as the cities which the LORD overthrew, and repented not: and let him hear the cry in the morning, and the shouting at noontide; because he slew me not from the womb; or that my mother might have been my grave, and her womb to be always great with me. Wherefore came I forth out of the womb to see labor and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?" Jeremiah 20:14-17

(3 months after Hermione's 18th birthday party.)

It was Christmas and Hermione, Snape and Draco had been invited to Hogwarts for Christmas lunch. Harry, Ron, Ginny and Padma showed up after lunch having eaten with the Weasleys.

Draco was quiet, still dealing with his visit to see his parents in Azkaban. Dumbledore had pulled him off for a chat soon after desert and while they were busy talking, Harry pulled Hermione to one side after seeing that Snape was deeply engaged in a conversation with Professor Vector and for once, not keeping a jealous eye on Hermione's movements.

"I never told you," Harry began, cradling some hot mulled wine and gazing with a frown at the floor, "that I once saw some of Snape's memories in that occulmency training we did in fifth year." He flicked her a quick glance out of his bright green eyes.

Hermione's eyes widened slightly and her lips parted. She had had no idea. Fleetingly she wondered how much of Harry's life was hidden from her. Quite a lot, she imagined. There had been many times during their adventures that Harry had had to do things on his own without his friends to help. "Really?" she replied and took a sip of her own drink. She had no idea what to say. One part of her desperately wanted to know more about Snape's past and another part of her was afraid what she would hear would be painful. She swallowed. "Um.. what did you see?" she asked nervously, her intelligent grey eyes scanning his face carefully.

It was Harry's turn to swallow. "Oh.. um.. I saw him as a very little boy and then as a teen-ager and um.. I saw him with the Marauders," Harry said vaguely, suddenly wondering if it was a good idea to share this with Hermione after all.

Hermione stood very still suddenly. She hardly seemed to breathe. "You saw him as a little boy?" she repeated softly. Harry merely nodded and took another distracted swig of his wine. "What.. er.. what was he like?" she asked curiously.

Harry frowned suddenly and looked at her full in the face, his expression pained. "Hermione, I've never told anyone about this. These were memories he didn't want anyone to know about. He put them into a penseive so I couldn't access them but I lost my temper with him once during the lessons and when he was out of the room for an emergency, I.. I.. um, looked at them. He didn't want me to see them and he was furious when he found out," Harry admitted shame-faced.

"You always were a hot-head," Hermione said primly, suddenly sounding like her old bossy adolescent self. "How furious?" Hermione added warily.

"He was yelling and threw me out and told me never to come back. That's why I stopped having those classes when I did. He threw a jar of dried cockroaches after me. They smashed just over my head," Harry said uncomfortably.

"He threw something at you?" Hermione said incredulously. "He's never lost his temper like that around me," she commented, shaking her head. "I'm the one who throws things," she added thoughtfully.

Harry gave her an exasperated, meaningful look. "Duh! Like he would! I don't quite have the same power over him that you do," he said, rolling his eyes.

"I don't have any power over him," Hermione demurred as though Harry had just said something ridiculous. "You never answered my question. What was he like as a little boy?" she pressed.

Harry took a deep breath and looked at Hermione hesitantly. "I only a flash really but he was little and his parents were. um. fighting. He looked scared and was crying. He must have been. I don't know, 4 or 5?"

"He was crying?" Hermione repeated faintly and glanced over at the adult Snape trying to imagine him small and crying, and failing utterly. Her heart gave an odd throb in her chest. She looked back at Harry. "That must have been some fight, to make him cry like that," Hermione said to Harry questioningly.

"His father was a huge bully," Harry said, suddenly warming to the subject and looking angry. Harry understood about being small and bullied. "He looked vicious and cruel. Snape's mother was in a corner, crying as well and cowering like an animal." Harry shook his head. "God only knows what Snape's home life must have been." Harry was quiet for a few moments. "I can't get that memory of Snape's out of my head. Now and then, it will come back very clearly to me. He looked terrified and miserable, poor kid," Harry murmured.

Hermione was staring at him with wide eyes but her vision was turned inwards, imagining what Harry had just said. There was a film of tears over her eyes but none fell. She wrapped her slender arms around herself still holding her warm drink. "Did you see anything else?" she asked finally.

"I saw him as a teenager at home. He was alone in his bedroom. It was quite dark so I couldn't see much but he was just lying on his bed killing flies with his wand," Harry shrugged. At least that memory hadn't been as traumatic to witness as that of him as a child.

"Alone," Hermione repeated to herself. "Lonely and bored; probably didn't want to leave his bedroom with a family life like that," she sighed. "Anything else?" she asked him quietly.

Harry suddenly looked very, very awkward. "Er.. yes. I saw him at Hogwarts with.. er.. my father and um.. Sirius.. and Remus and Peter," he said with difficulty.

"What did you see?" Hermione said, trying to keep the suspicion out of her voice.

"They were doing their O.W.L.s and then they went down to the lake," Harry said. That bit was easy.

"And then?" Hermione asked, her tension growing.

"Um.. then I saw my Mum too. She was at the lake with some of her friends," he paused and glanced at Hermione. Her face was unyielding. He knew he'd have to tell the whole story. She'd get it out of him one way or another. He wondered if he was doing the right thing, telling her all this. Snape had obviously been very closed-mouthed with her about certain aspects of his past.

"Well. um. James, my Dad, he was showing off with a snitch and stuff. Because Lily was there, he was trying to make an impression, you know. Snape was sitting in the shade of tree nearby but out of their line of vision. Anyway, so. Dad spotted Snape and started giving him a hard time," Harry paused and looked anxiously at Hermione.

"What kind of a hard time?" she asked stonily.

"Oh.. er.. calling him names and stuff," Harry prevaricated.

"What names?" Hermione said impatiently.

"Oh, well.. Snivellus, I think," Harry replied agitatedly.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "Go on," she said.

"Then, he um. disarmed Snape who had gone for his wand when Dad yelled out to him," Harry heard Hermione draw in her breath. "Then they insulted him some more; made fun of his looks and stuff. So Snape got angry and was swearing at them," Harry continued.

"Gee, I wonder why?" Hermione muttered sarcastically.

"Um.. and then James put a scourgify charm on Snape's mouth," Harry said in a small voice. Hermione gasped.

"Then Lily, my mum, she told James to leave him alone," Harry said.

"I like the sound of your Mum," Hermione said with sudden respect.

That made Harry feel slightly better. "Of course, Dad had a big crush on her so he asked her to promise to go out with him in return for laying off Snape." To his surprise, Hermione laughed.

"What a loser! Couldn't get her out on a date any other way than behaving like a total prat and using blackmail?" Hermione scoffed, scorn written clear on her face.

"Didn't work. Lily said 'no'. Anyway, by that time Snape had managed to get his wand and cut open James' face," Harry continued hurriedly.

"Serves him right," Hermione said coldly without pity, her eyes dark with anger. "What happened next?" she asked, when Harry fell silent.

"James levitated Snape upside down in the air," Harry muttered, swallowing again.

Hermione put both hands over her mouth and stared at Harry in disbelief. "He didn't! And no-one but Lily did anything to help?" she asked, her face horrified.

Harry looked at the pain in Hermione's eyes and felt terrible. After all, it had been his father who had been Snape's chief torturer. "And then?" she whispered.

"Then mum turned her wand on James and he put Snape down. James told Snape he should be grateful to mum and.. um.. Snape insulted her. Quite badly, actually," Harry said frankly.

"What did he say?" Hermione asked apprehensively.

"He said that he didn't need help from.. um.. a filthy mudblood," Harry repeated, tensing for her reaction.

Hermione just stared at Harry, then sat down abruptly in nearby chair and was very still. "He was like Draco, wasn't he?" she said finally in a very small voice.

"It sounded a bit like you and Draco all over again, I must admit," Harry said honestly.

"What did she say?" Hermione asked curiously.

"She said she wouldn't bother in future," Harry said.

"I'm not surprised!" Hermione murmured.

"And that he should wash his underpants," Harry couldn't resist adding.

Hermione stared at Harry with parted lips and then suddenly laughed. "I hate to say it but he almost deserved that." She stopped laughing abruptly and sighed deeply. "I'm almost afraid to ask what happened after that," she said ruefully.

Hermione's laughter had made Harry feel a bit better. "Dad tried to make Snape apologise to mum but he wouldn't, of course. Then mum turned on dad and basically called him an arrogant, fat-headed, show-off which to be honest - he was, really," Harry admitted with a sigh. "Then she stalked off and that's when Snape caught me so I didn't see any more," Harry lied. He didn't want to tell Hermione about his father suspending Snape in mid- air and threatening to dispose of his underwear for the edification of the crowd of other students. Some things were just too humiliating to expose.

"I bet Severus was furious," Hermione sighed. Harry still couldn't get used to Hermione calling Snape by his first name.

"I had a bruise on my arm for weeks where he grabbed me," Harry confessed.

"I'm not surprised. It's not exactly something you would want someone you don't like to know about, is it? Or anyone at all, really. It would be ten times worse for a student to know something like that about a teacher. I guess he thought you'd run and tell everyone," Hermione speculated.

"I guess so. I've never told anyone until now and I won't tell anyone else," Harry promised seriously.

"I think that would be best," Hermione agreed. "Thanks for telling me. It must have been hard to tell tales about your own father," she said sympathetically. "He was a bit of a git at 15, wasn't he?"

Harry sniffed. "To be honest, I don't think Snape was too far behind. He did call my mum a mudblood," he said angrily.

"Yes," Hermione sighed. "The saddest thing is, apart from Lily, no-one did anything to help him. He must have been universally disliked," Hermione acknowledged. "Whereas we know James was popular."

"I wonder why he was disliked. It can't have just been because he was ugly and said stupid things like 'mudblood'. There were plenty of Slytherins who used words like that who weren't picked on, I would imagine," Harry speculated.

Hermione, who had given Harry a dirty look when he called Snape 'ugly', pondered the same question. Draco had not been unpopular in his own House. He had not been picked on like Snape. Why was Snape tortured?

"I think I know why," Hermione said softly, finally. Harry looked at her with interest. "Snape obviously came from a violent home, certainly an abusive and unhappy and dysfunctional home. By the time he got to Hogwarts, he was already the walking wounded. You know what school kids are like," she shrugged. "They are like pack animals. If they scent that one of their pack is wounded or weak, they turn on them and try to destroy them. That's what happened to Snape. He was miserable, lonely, frightened and insecure long before he went to school. He learned to cover this up with being snide, using sarcasm, and a mask of superiority and cutting cruelty. He pushed others away from him because he'd already learnt that relationships only hurt and brought no benefit. Of course the other kids hated him. They didn't know why he was like that. It was a miserable cycle for Severus, one that can only be broken with maturity and sometimes not even then," Hermione explained thoughtfully.

Harry eyed Hermione with respect. He sometimes suspected there was more to Hermione's understanding than just merely being a brainiac.

Snape had suddenly noticed that Harry and Hermione had been sitting together by themselves for a very long time. The realization brought a sick feeling to the pit of his stomach. He still felt sure that given half a chance Harry would still steal Hermione out from under his nose. He refused to believe that Harry could genuinely prefer Ginny over Hermione. He did not know that his own prejudice blinded him to the truth that Harry loved Ginny, and merely viewed Hermione as a beloved friend and fellow adventurer. He swept over to them, "and what are you two plotting?" he asked in his deep voice, eyeing Harry with a cold dislike which had only just been recently diminishing.

Hermione smiled conspiratorily at Harry, knowing it would rile Snape. "We're just telling secrets," she teased, taking Snape's thin hand and standing up.

"Oh?" Snape said, raising his dark eyebrows. "How interesting."

Harry blushed suddenly, remembering vividly the memories that belonged to Snape that he had just described to Hermione. Something about the guilty expression that flashed across Harry's face sent a cold shaft through Snape's body and as surely as if Harry had told him so, he knew what secrets they had been discussing. His skin went cold then hot then cold again, and a flush settled along his sharp cheekbones. He was afraid to look down into Hermione's face. Hermione's hand was soft and warm in his however and he realized that whatever Harry had told her, it had not changed the fact that Hermione wanted to be close to him. He let out his breath slowly and his panic subsided slightly. He would deal with Harry later. He was not about to create a scene and ruin everyone's Christmas.

He made himself glance down at her, his dark eyes hooded. She was smiling up at him, her expression teasing and affectionate and slightly flirtacious. It always gave him a shock when Hermione flirted with him. He was not used to beautiful women looking at him like that but his black eyes answered with a flash of something in their depths before he realized it and she grinned up at him. Suddenly his fears about Potter seemed ridiculous once more and he relaxed, leading her back to the group with Harry following amiably and grinning at Ginny who was waiting for him next to Dumbledore.

* * *

It was not until late that night when Hermione really had a chance to sit down and think through everything that Harry had told her about Snape's childhood and school days. It had not been much in terms actual events but it had given her a lot of information about who Snape was and why. It had filled in a lot of gaps and explained a lot about Snape's personality. She suddenly knew how brave it had been of him to tell her that he wanted her to be with him on the moors that morning. It had been hard for her to hear and accept for her own home life had been similar and caused damage although thankfully, not her time at Hogwarts. However, she now knew for sure that he had suffered far more deeply than she had suspected or had wanted to believe. She bit her lip as she stared into the fire in one of the small sitting rooms. She was so deep in thought that she did not hear Snape glide into the room.

Snape could tell from the expression on her face what she was thinking about. She was biting her bottom lip again and her fine eyebrows were drawn together in a small frown. He stopped dead and watched her face. There was something about its expression that pierced him like a knife. Suddenly he realized that it was the same thing that had frozen him immobile in a Potions class that seemed to belong to another lifetime. There was pain in the depths of her grey eyes, the pain of compassion; compassion for him.

He went and sat beside her in front of the fire and she glanced up suddenly. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. To her horror, she suddenly found her eyes filling with tears. If she was horrified, it was nothing to how Snape felt.

"Harry told you," he said flatly. She merely looked at him through her tears. "How much did he tell you?" he demanded.

She shrugged. "He told me about your bully of a father and your weak, frightened mother." Although, Hermione speculated, his mother did not look weak or frightened in their portrait. She looked like a quintessential Death Eater to Hermione; hard as nails and over-bearingly proud with it.

"My father was the only person mother was afraid of," Snape said harshly. "She could have stopped his violence with magic if she'd used some gumption but she would have had to leave father and there was no way that she was going to give up all this," Snape said with a sneer, indicating the Snape Manor.

"And she didn't protect you either," Hermione said quietly.

Snape snorted. "She assisted him with it, in a way," he said bitterly. "She almost colluded." Hermione was biting her lip again. "What else did Potter tell you?" he rasped and got up suddenly to pace.

"That you were a lonely teen-ager and spent a lot of time alone in your room," Hermione said quietly.

"Well, I was in no rush to spend time with my precious parents," he snapped.

"And no friends either," Hermione added gently.

"I certainly didn't want to invite anyone here," he said starkly, looking around the room with dislike.

"No-one would have come here. You didn't have any friends at Hogwarts from what I understand," Hermione replied sadly.

"Just as well," Snape muttered.

"Why did James and Sirius hate you so much?" Hermione asked cautiously.

"Don't forget Remus and Peter," Snape snarled.

"From what Harry told me, it was mainly James," Hermione stated.

"And what did precious little Potty tell you?" Snape said, suddenly whipping round and leaning over Hermione almost nose to nose, his eyes glittering with fury.

"If you stop breathing on me, I'll tell you," Hermione said coolly, more annoyed than intimidated by Snape's tactics.

Snape stood up abruptly and flung himself into back into his seat, his long lean legs splayed out before him. "Go on," he retorted, half ashamed of his attempt to intimidate Hermione but too worked up to feel it too much.

Hermione out-lined what Harry had told her of that particular incident right up until Snape caught Harry at it and threw him out of the Potions laboratory. Snape held his breath throughout and regretted asking her to re-tell it. She was kind though, sparing his feelings and only out-lining the bare facts without any details. Snape was interested that Harry either hadn't seen or didn't tell Hermione what had happened that day after Lily had left. For that, he was deeply grateful and relieved.

He watched her face as she relayed what Harry had told her. Her earlier irritation with him wore off almost immediately and he glimpsed once again the pained empathy that confused Snape and caused an odd ache in his chest. Once more, his cheekbones were stained red and he felt cold at the thought that Hermione now knew some of his most painful memories. It seemed impossible to hide anything from her. All his life, he had hidden these things from almost everyone. Hermione had come along, and broken his past and his soul wide open.

Hermione could see he was suffering because he felt exposed and because he had had to relive the memories. She got up and sat in his lap as she had a habit of doing. Without thinking about it, Snape wrapped his thin arms around her. She looked up into his angular face, her expression perfectly miserable and Snape suddenly understood that she was suffering on his behalf because she knew how these memories made him feel. The thought knocked him breathless. No-one had ever suffered either for him or with him for any reason. No-one had ever given a damn apart from Dumbledore whose help had been more practical than emotional. His heart suddenly knocked so hard against his ribs that Hermione actually felt it. She looked at him in alarm but before she could say anything, he had captured her lips with his.

Snape's heart was hammering madly. He could hardly believe that Hermione even wanted to touch him after what she had found out. To him, the events had been permanently contaminating. The sense of shame and helpless rage made him feel worthless; certainly undeserving of the attentions of a woman like Hermione. She wound her arms around him, pressing him back into the armchair as they kissed. It was almost as though, he thought hazily, knowing these things had increased her passion rather than cooled it. He was in no fit state to puzzle out why at that point and gave himself up the mindless pleasure of the moment.

From that night on, their bond grew even deeper to Snape's own amazement. It was like the girl was infiltrating his soul, he reflected much later, and revelations that may have shattered that bond somehow only ever served to forge it more strongly. From that night forward, Snape's suspicious jealousy of Harry grew much, much less.