This was inspired by a Billy Connelly sketch. Please reveiw, good or bad. *************************************************************** We find the fellowship under some trees eating breakfast. But what the band of warriors (and four hobbits) did not know is that there was a task force of Uruk-Hia creeping through the trees towards them. Legolas looked up, suddenly aware. His neck snapped from side to side. His attentive elven eye's narrowed as he searched the undergrowth. He turned to Aragorn who was investigateing a foreign body in his beans.

"Did you hear an orc then?" he asked.

Frodo looked up from his sausages. "An orc?" he said looking around, "I've never seen an orc, what are they like?" He put down his plate and stood up, searching the trees, "I've heard they're brown, is that it, are they brown?"

"Hey Frodo," Merry piped up, "We're trying to have some breakfast, just sit down with your plate and shut up and do as your told."

"Sorry for being born by the way," Frodo said, affronted, returning to his breakfast, "Ask a question about an orc and you get a mouthfull of abuse."

Legolas smiled and looked back at his meal. He looked around again. "I'm sure I heard and orc then," he shrugged and skewered a sausage on the end of his fork.

Meanwhile the Uruk-Hai were crawling slowly through the long grass towards the unknowing group. The leader stopped just three feet from Gimli (the dwarf). He signaled to the others to move round behind the fellowship. The general plan was that their leader would jump out from the bushes and scare the group into running away. Running towards the other two orcs who would pounce upon the first thing they saw. Anyway the leader mouthed: "One... Two... Three... WARRHH - ARRRRGH!" As soon as his head cleared the tips of the grass... *thwack*... he got an arrow in the forehead.