Kingdom Hearts: Again and Again

Chapter 2: No, Seriously, They're gonna die

"What, ba, ungh, NO Grandma! I'm too old for the tiny pants!" Yelled our hero,

realizing that he was on a beach. Next to him was his friend Kairi. Sora,we need

to talk about your problem. "What problem?" "Your crack addiction, Sora."

"Please Kairi, I'm not on crack." Sora tried to explain. Kairi shoved a newspaper

in his face, with a large ad that read " Sora's 450,000$ crack party (come one

come all!) "What, did you not get your invite?" Er- I mean, it was my evil twin. And a wizard did it.

"Well okay. Besides, we need to get to the next joke." Sora stood up, and

surveyed his islands. " The Destiny Islands, a beautiful paradise full of whiny

little bastards who can't seem to stop complaining about having to live in a

beautiful island paradise. "Boo hoo!" They'll say. "It's so horrible living on our

lush tropical island!" " wa-wa!" Any hoo, next up came Sora's friend Riku,

carrying a log in one arm like it was no big thang. He threw the log on Sora,

nearly killing him (it wouldn't be the last time) "how'd the intervention go?" he

asked. "It was a wizard." Kairi and Sora repeated in unison. "o-o-kay" said Riku,

creeped out. Besides, we need to get to work on the raft. "What raft?" asked Sora,

confused. " the raft we've been working for months, ya'tard." "Okay Sora, it will

be your job to get a cloth, rope, and 2 logs." "Wait a minute, that's at least a third

of the work on this thing. How could we have been doing this for months? Well,

most of it was me convincing you guys to do all the work, then me whisper

whisper whisper " Oh, you mean when we agreed to do all the work if you gave

us lots of ORAL SEX!? Sora said so loudly he could be heard in other

worlds....
SUCH AS THIS ONE!!!!!!

Royal duke and magician Donald Duck woke up in a particularly good mood

today, as he had awoken to thoughts of oral sex, which is good enough for any

guy. So it was in this mood he went to see the king. And it was in this mood, he

was royally screwed. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He

screamed, looking for the one man (unfortunately) who could help him. Goofy!

Goofy!! Wake up! "Grrrrr" he didn't want it to come to this (well he did, but

that's besides the point.) he ZAPPED (dudelododo) Goofy! Goofy woke with a

shock. Too bad for Donald he is not a morning person. "You BASTARD!" and

with a mighty roar, he stood up and began relentlessly pummeling Donald with

his shield. Goofy! Goofy! Stop! He's essential to the plot, man! Yelled the Queen,

accompanied by royal duchess Daisy. Meanwhile, a battered a bloody Donald

coughs up a certain note/letter/message previously stuffed down his *evil voice*

PATHETIC throat. 'Allo, what's all this then? Said the Queen, using her fake

English accent (everyone secretly hated it, but they dare not say so, because

they'd be beheaded.)
BACK ON THE ISLAND! OHWEEEEOH!

And so, Sora collected. stuff. But that's boring. So now it's time for.

RED-ASS BEAT DOWN!!!!!!!

"Wakka Wakka!" "Sora, if you don't stop saying that every time you talk to me,

we're gonna have problems." "Please Wakka, you're a loser with beach balls."

"HEY! They're not beach balls, they're BLITZ balls!" "That's not even a real

sport!" "It.. It.. Used to be!" Wakka said, before breaking down and crying. Sora shifted his eyes around to make sure nobody was watching, and then bashed the

sobbing idiot over the head. (Poor Wakka.) "The Destiny Islands. a beautiful

paradise where kids have to beat the ever-loving crap out of each other for

entertainment." And Sora did go on to beat Selphie (OW! God! OW! "What did

you expect? You're a dumb chick with a jump rope!") And Tidus (AKA Cameo

#1) who was happy and angry because he was hyper, but not the angsty star of the

game. Then he decided to fight Riku, who was sitting on a tree, being evil yet

handsome yet feminine yet cool. "Hi Riku!" said Sora amiably. "Oh, hey Sora,

look how cool I am." "Yeah, you pointed it out to everyone." "Oh, so you're

saying we have to fight!" No I- Sora uselessly stammered. "HEEEEEEEEEYAH!

He roared! Before-uh calmly walking towards him. (The poor idiot) Seriously,

you don't calmly walk around in a battle! It went something like this. "Hah ha,

you still don't got- AAAAHHH!!!!! Not the face! Not the face!

And this went on and on and on, till Sora was at least level 9. So he delivered his

materials, and now it's time for.

Fabulous sundown cut-scene number 1.

Not That YOU get to see it yet, PUNK!