Chapter 5: Her Highness. Get it? High? Cause it's
Wonderland, and drugs n' stuff? And it's funny? Kinda?
And so, our heroes made it to the Gummi ship after being sucked into the cold
vacuum of space. (See chap. 4) and now it's time for super laser doom joy ride time! But
I hate those segments, so let's just say they made it, and keep it our little secret, okay? It
case you didn't read the chapter title; they found Wonderland and fell down the hole.
(where is that hole, anyway? You don't see it anywhere on the planet.) There they found
the White Rabbit, and Sora's instinctive nature to kill anything that moved (if it
moves, it's obviously a Heartless.) took over. What ensued was a 3-month media circus,
notifying
next of kin, a trial, and jail-time. (However, in Sora's defense, a wizard made him do it.)
"Man, how is it that this so-called world is just this room?" "It'd be more than just
that if you talked to me!" Yelled a lazy voice emanating from a doorknob. (I friggin'
HATE that Doorknob.) "Dude, what the hell?" "Simple, just take the bottle." "Hey, how
come you guys didn't talk to me before?" The Doorknob continued. "Well, I killed a
rabbit, and the author's making things up as he goes along." (It's True!) That settled,
Donald and Goofy were about to take the bottle, when Sora spoke up. "Wait a second,
we're going to take a mysterious bottle because a freaking DOORKNOB told us to, and
I'm the only one who finds something wrong with this?" There was a long, awkward
silence, and then. "Ha Ha Ha! Oh, Sora, you're an idiot!" "I know!" after that settled
down, they all took the bottle, but that !@#$%^&* Doorknob was still asleep! So they
took the OTHER mysterious bottle, moved the !@# bed, and went through the !@#$%
side door. Coming into the Queen's garden, Sora swore he'd been in here before (See
Chap. 3) A black rabbit calls the trial to order. "Aight foo's! Courts in session! Da
Queen a' Hearts presiding yo'!" "I'm on trial? But why?" asked Alice, (You know what
she looks like, why should I describe her?) "BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHORE!" roared
the Q.O.H. (although it's a normal voice for her) "Oh, yeah" Alice said dismally. "Well?"
said Donald. "What?" "Aren't you going to say we should help her out?" "Listen, I'm
already a convicted felon, I don't wanna make it any worse." "Okay then, we find you
guilty for prostitution. Oh yeah, and theft of my heart. I guess." "But that's the
Heartless!" "Donald, I know you want me to go save her, but I think she'd know which
person tried to steal her freakin' heart!" "Just do it anyway, she's hot!" "Donald, you
have a serious problem, she's like, 10!" But it was meant to follow the game plot, and
Donald, with the magical power of venquilotrism, made Sora speak out. So, of course,
now they had to get evidence. Somehow, they found footprints (how can you carry
around footprints?) stink, (HOW?) and antennae (that makes sense, but I still hate
wonderland.) "Unfortunately, all these signs still pointed to Alice, So now it's time for.
RED-ASS BEAT-DOWN 2!
What? They're cards! Donald could beat them up! It'd just take one fire! It took
about 1.5 seconds, which as any moron knows, is enough time to take a girl from a high-
up cage without being seen. And now (of course) it's up to our heroes to find her! "Why
the hell did we even COME here?" grumbled Sora. "Because it's the easiest planet yet!"
Said (much to Sora's horror.) a mysterious voice. "Oh sweet lord why?" "I'm here to tell
you nothing, even though I supposedly know everything." The 3 gave each other a look,
and then. "GAAA! Okay! I'll talk, I'll talk!" the Damned Cat (I hate just about every
body in wonder land.) was being strangled by goofy, slowly burned by Donald, and cut
by Sora. (Poor cat) The Disney villains took Alice! You have to turn on 2 lights in the
upside down room to fight the boss! Take the enlarge bottle before fighting the boss!
That's all I know!" "Let him go." "To the upside down ROOOM!"
5 hours later.
"Where the hell is the upside down room?" "I don't know." "@#$% Cat!"
4 hours later.
"These fat heartless take forever to kill!" "I'm N-n-not fat! Oh whenever I get
upset I eat!"
1 hour later.
"Okay! The lights is lit! Alice is nowhere to be found, and the boss fight is coming
up! This is the most useless world yet!" "You've only been in 3!" "Okay, you know
what? Shut up! I've had it up to here with your mysterious voices, and other worlds, and
cartoon animals!" and you know what? I QUIT!
Err, hold on folks, there's some technical difficulty.
Okay! Now that Sora's been replaced, we can continue. "Why hello fellows! I am
Sora! Behold my Soraness! Now, leave us to fight the boss monster, my friends!" (okay,
this Sora sucks, but don't worry, as normal Sora will be back next chapter.)
And so, back at the bizarre room.
Sora, Donald, and Goofy drink the enlarge bottle, as soon as trickmaster comes in.
"Behold my might! I am Trickmast- he suddenly realizes their full size. "Oh Shi-
AUUUGGHHH!!!" (think of how easy that fight would've been if you were full size.)
And while it might've SEEMED pointless, some- well, actually, it was only an average
thwacky time, but the point is that it woke that lazy-ass doorknob up "Oh, what a racket!
How's a doorknob to get any sleep?" the jackass then yawned, revealing a keyhole that
was automatically closed by the keyblade. "what the heck just happened?" asked New
Sora. "Oh, the Cheshire Cat said it's a keyhole to the heart of this world." "Wait a
second. If that doorknob just yawned earlier we could've avoided all this!? (See, old Sora
is coming back already.) "Well, lets get back to the Gummi ship." "What about Alice?"
"What about her? She can't be essential to the plot. No sir, she is not essential at all."
"We need a save point to get back to our ship." "Goofy, what the hell are you talking about?"
Mean while, in Traverse Town.
We see Pluto, standing outside the traverse town door. "Uh, Donald, Goofy?
Where are you guys?" he said (in dog) "Aw man." "I still want my munny." "SHUT
UP!"
Okay! I don't think this chapter was very good. I thought it was okay, but 3 and 4 were better.
Wonderland, and drugs n' stuff? And it's funny? Kinda?
And so, our heroes made it to the Gummi ship after being sucked into the cold
vacuum of space. (See chap. 4) and now it's time for super laser doom joy ride time! But
I hate those segments, so let's just say they made it, and keep it our little secret, okay? It
case you didn't read the chapter title; they found Wonderland and fell down the hole.
(where is that hole, anyway? You don't see it anywhere on the planet.) There they found
the White Rabbit, and Sora's instinctive nature to kill anything that moved (if it
moves, it's obviously a Heartless.) took over. What ensued was a 3-month media circus,
notifying
next of kin, a trial, and jail-time. (However, in Sora's defense, a wizard made him do it.)
"Man, how is it that this so-called world is just this room?" "It'd be more than just
that if you talked to me!" Yelled a lazy voice emanating from a doorknob. (I friggin'
HATE that Doorknob.) "Dude, what the hell?" "Simple, just take the bottle." "Hey, how
come you guys didn't talk to me before?" The Doorknob continued. "Well, I killed a
rabbit, and the author's making things up as he goes along." (It's True!) That settled,
Donald and Goofy were about to take the bottle, when Sora spoke up. "Wait a second,
we're going to take a mysterious bottle because a freaking DOORKNOB told us to, and
I'm the only one who finds something wrong with this?" There was a long, awkward
silence, and then. "Ha Ha Ha! Oh, Sora, you're an idiot!" "I know!" after that settled
down, they all took the bottle, but that !@#$%^&* Doorknob was still asleep! So they
took the OTHER mysterious bottle, moved the !@# bed, and went through the !@#$%
side door. Coming into the Queen's garden, Sora swore he'd been in here before (See
Chap. 3) A black rabbit calls the trial to order. "Aight foo's! Courts in session! Da
Queen a' Hearts presiding yo'!" "I'm on trial? But why?" asked Alice, (You know what
she looks like, why should I describe her?) "BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHORE!" roared
the Q.O.H. (although it's a normal voice for her) "Oh, yeah" Alice said dismally. "Well?"
said Donald. "What?" "Aren't you going to say we should help her out?" "Listen, I'm
already a convicted felon, I don't wanna make it any worse." "Okay then, we find you
guilty for prostitution. Oh yeah, and theft of my heart. I guess." "But that's the
Heartless!" "Donald, I know you want me to go save her, but I think she'd know which
person tried to steal her freakin' heart!" "Just do it anyway, she's hot!" "Donald, you
have a serious problem, she's like, 10!" But it was meant to follow the game plot, and
Donald, with the magical power of venquilotrism, made Sora speak out. So, of course,
now they had to get evidence. Somehow, they found footprints (how can you carry
around footprints?) stink, (HOW?) and antennae (that makes sense, but I still hate
wonderland.) "Unfortunately, all these signs still pointed to Alice, So now it's time for.
RED-ASS BEAT-DOWN 2!
What? They're cards! Donald could beat them up! It'd just take one fire! It took
about 1.5 seconds, which as any moron knows, is enough time to take a girl from a high-
up cage without being seen. And now (of course) it's up to our heroes to find her! "Why
the hell did we even COME here?" grumbled Sora. "Because it's the easiest planet yet!"
Said (much to Sora's horror.) a mysterious voice. "Oh sweet lord why?" "I'm here to tell
you nothing, even though I supposedly know everything." The 3 gave each other a look,
and then. "GAAA! Okay! I'll talk, I'll talk!" the Damned Cat (I hate just about every
body in wonder land.) was being strangled by goofy, slowly burned by Donald, and cut
by Sora. (Poor cat) The Disney villains took Alice! You have to turn on 2 lights in the
upside down room to fight the boss! Take the enlarge bottle before fighting the boss!
That's all I know!" "Let him go." "To the upside down ROOOM!"
5 hours later.
"Where the hell is the upside down room?" "I don't know." "@#$% Cat!"
4 hours later.
"These fat heartless take forever to kill!" "I'm N-n-not fat! Oh whenever I get
upset I eat!"
1 hour later.
"Okay! The lights is lit! Alice is nowhere to be found, and the boss fight is coming
up! This is the most useless world yet!" "You've only been in 3!" "Okay, you know
what? Shut up! I've had it up to here with your mysterious voices, and other worlds, and
cartoon animals!" and you know what? I QUIT!
Err, hold on folks, there's some technical difficulty.
Okay! Now that Sora's been replaced, we can continue. "Why hello fellows! I am
Sora! Behold my Soraness! Now, leave us to fight the boss monster, my friends!" (okay,
this Sora sucks, but don't worry, as normal Sora will be back next chapter.)
And so, back at the bizarre room.
Sora, Donald, and Goofy drink the enlarge bottle, as soon as trickmaster comes in.
"Behold my might! I am Trickmast- he suddenly realizes their full size. "Oh Shi-
AUUUGGHHH!!!" (think of how easy that fight would've been if you were full size.)
And while it might've SEEMED pointless, some- well, actually, it was only an average
thwacky time, but the point is that it woke that lazy-ass doorknob up "Oh, what a racket!
How's a doorknob to get any sleep?" the jackass then yawned, revealing a keyhole that
was automatically closed by the keyblade. "what the heck just happened?" asked New
Sora. "Oh, the Cheshire Cat said it's a keyhole to the heart of this world." "Wait a
second. If that doorknob just yawned earlier we could've avoided all this!? (See, old Sora
is coming back already.) "Well, lets get back to the Gummi ship." "What about Alice?"
"What about her? She can't be essential to the plot. No sir, she is not essential at all."
"We need a save point to get back to our ship." "Goofy, what the hell are you talking about?"
Mean while, in Traverse Town.
We see Pluto, standing outside the traverse town door. "Uh, Donald, Goofy?
Where are you guys?" he said (in dog) "Aw man." "I still want my munny." "SHUT
UP!"
Okay! I don't think this chapter was very good. I thought it was okay, but 3 and 4 were better.
