A/N- Here's the next part. It's about Nagi. Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~ : denotes a flashback or memory
Unsure Feelings : Chapter 5
By: RurouniGirl
Nagi sighed as he sat down on his bed. He didn't like lying to Schuldich, but he didn't want Schu to know. Farfarello was the only one who would understand.
He jumped as someone knocked on the door. "Go away, Schu," he called.
Silence, then the door opened and Schuldich stepped in. "Nope, you're not getting rid of me that easily." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong, Nagi?"
Nagi smiled. "Nothing, Schu. I'm fine."
Schu shook his head. "No, Nagi. You're not. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
Nagi stared down at the floor. "I...I can't." he whispered. He looked up at Schuldich, unshed tears in his eyes.
Schu looked at Nagi, worry visible in his green eyes. "Why can't you tell me?"
Nagi gulped. "Because...because, you wouldn't understand." He wanted to tell Schu. He really did, but he couldn't. Nobody but Farf would understand. "I'm sorry, Schu. I...I can't."
Schuldich looked at him for a moment, searching, then nodded and stood up. "Okay, kid. I won't push it. But, you know you can always talk to me. Whenever you're ready, I'm there. Got it?"
Nagi nodded. "Yeah," he replied. "Schu," he called as the German was leaving the room.
Schuldich turned toward him. Nagi smiled. "Thanks."
The German smiled at him and left the room, closing the door behind him. Nagi sighed and lay back on his bed, waiting for Farfarello to get back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nagi had fallen asleep as he waited for Farf and was now tossing and turning. He moaned and muttered something inaudible. He continued to toss and turn as his nightmare continued.
All of a sudden he cried out and sat up, gasping for breath. He put his head in his hands trying to push the memories away. But it didn't work and the memories kept pushing their way back into his mind, haunting him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nagi had only been thirteen year old when he had been brought into Schwartz. Being with Schwartz was the happiest time in his life. But before Schwartz, he had the worst memories of all.
Nagi had been kicked out by his parents when they had discovered he had special powers. He was forced to live on the streets and fend for himself.
But he was still young and was small for his age. And even with his powers it was almost impossible to fend off any grown men because he hadn't learned how to control and use his powers properly. These are the memories that haunted him.
He had been trying to get money for food. He hadn't eaten in three days. He cut through an alley, hoping to find someone who would be willing to give him a few dollars on the next street, but he never made it to the next street.
A large man stopped him. Nagi had tried to fight back, but he hadn't been able to do much. He was taken to an estate where a very rich man lived. There, he was forced to submit to the man. To do everything the man wanted. Which, of course, were sexual actions.
He remembered dreading nighttime, and after his master had finished with him, he would quietly creep away and cry.
After a while, his powers matured, and he was able to control them and use them more freely. He managed to escape and that's when Farf had found him. He was in a bad way, mentally and physically.
When Farfarello had found him, he was half naked, fresh blood running down his thighs, and cuts and bruises all over his body from where his master had hit him.
Farf had cleaned him up and then brought him to the other Schwartz members. He had been a member ever since that day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farf was the only one that knew. The only one that knew his secret. Knew what had happened to him. And now it had come back to haunt him once again. Now that he had found someone to love, his past was back to haunt him.
He loved Omi. He always had. He just hadn't realized it until now. But, if Omi knew the truth about him, about what he was, what he had been forced to do, he would look at Nagi differently. He would be disgusted and would probably hate Nagi. And Nagi couldn't stand the thought of the one person he loved hating him.
He jumped as the door was flung open and then shut again. Farf stood looking at Nagi, concern on his face.
"What is it?" he asked. "More nightmares?"
Nagi angrily brushed a tear away and nodded. "It was happening all over again," he said, his voice cracking and tears pouring freely down his cheeks.
Farf hurried forward and wrapped his arms around Nagi. "It's all right," he said quietly. "It's over now. He can't hurt you any more."
Nagi tried to control his sobs, but couldn't. He finally managed to stop and sob out, "But he can," he told Farf. "He still does. These nightmares, these memories. All of it. They are caused by him." He turned away and continued. "He caused all this pain. He did. And now I can't love because of it."
Farf looked at Nagi, confusion written on his face. "What do you mean you can't love? Of course you can."
Nagi shook his head. "No Farf. You don't understand. I know that I can love. But no one can ever love me. How could they? How could anyone love someone like me?"
Farf grabbed Nagi by the shoulders and shook him. Shook him hard. "You listen to me, Nagi. What he did to you was unforgivable. But, you can't let that control you. It's in the past. You have to let it go and move on."
Nagi knew that Farfarello was right, but he was still afraid. Afraid of what Omi would think if he knew the truth. He lifted his eyes to look at Farf and was surprised to see tears in the Irishman's eyes.
"It hurts me to see you like this, Nagi. I know you love him. And he loves you. You can see it when ever he looks at you."
Nagi looked up, fresh tears in his eyes. "But I'm scared," he said. "What if he hates me after he finds out."
Farf pulled Nagi into his arms and held him tight. "He won't," he said. "And if he does, then he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than that."
Nagi looked up at Farf's face and smiled, wiping his tears away. He reached up and brushed away Farfarello's tears.
"Thank you," he whispered.
Farf smiled and placed his arm around Nagi's shoulders. "No prob kid. That's what I'm here for."
Nagi smiled. It was nice to have people who cared about him. People who worried about and looked out for him. They were his friends. And most importantly, his family.
Author's Notes: Okay, first off, this is not what really happened to Nagi. I don't know what Nagi's past is, but this is just a made up account of what happened. It's completely fictitious, used for this story alone. Now that that's clear, what did you think? Please review. RurouniGirl
~~~~~~~~~~ : denotes a flashback or memory
Unsure Feelings : Chapter 5
By: RurouniGirl
Nagi sighed as he sat down on his bed. He didn't like lying to Schuldich, but he didn't want Schu to know. Farfarello was the only one who would understand.
He jumped as someone knocked on the door. "Go away, Schu," he called.
Silence, then the door opened and Schuldich stepped in. "Nope, you're not getting rid of me that easily." He sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong, Nagi?"
Nagi smiled. "Nothing, Schu. I'm fine."
Schu shook his head. "No, Nagi. You're not. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
Nagi stared down at the floor. "I...I can't." he whispered. He looked up at Schuldich, unshed tears in his eyes.
Schu looked at Nagi, worry visible in his green eyes. "Why can't you tell me?"
Nagi gulped. "Because...because, you wouldn't understand." He wanted to tell Schu. He really did, but he couldn't. Nobody but Farf would understand. "I'm sorry, Schu. I...I can't."
Schuldich looked at him for a moment, searching, then nodded and stood up. "Okay, kid. I won't push it. But, you know you can always talk to me. Whenever you're ready, I'm there. Got it?"
Nagi nodded. "Yeah," he replied. "Schu," he called as the German was leaving the room.
Schuldich turned toward him. Nagi smiled. "Thanks."
The German smiled at him and left the room, closing the door behind him. Nagi sighed and lay back on his bed, waiting for Farfarello to get back.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Nagi had fallen asleep as he waited for Farf and was now tossing and turning. He moaned and muttered something inaudible. He continued to toss and turn as his nightmare continued.
All of a sudden he cried out and sat up, gasping for breath. He put his head in his hands trying to push the memories away. But it didn't work and the memories kept pushing their way back into his mind, haunting him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nagi had only been thirteen year old when he had been brought into Schwartz. Being with Schwartz was the happiest time in his life. But before Schwartz, he had the worst memories of all.
Nagi had been kicked out by his parents when they had discovered he had special powers. He was forced to live on the streets and fend for himself.
But he was still young and was small for his age. And even with his powers it was almost impossible to fend off any grown men because he hadn't learned how to control and use his powers properly. These are the memories that haunted him.
He had been trying to get money for food. He hadn't eaten in three days. He cut through an alley, hoping to find someone who would be willing to give him a few dollars on the next street, but he never made it to the next street.
A large man stopped him. Nagi had tried to fight back, but he hadn't been able to do much. He was taken to an estate where a very rich man lived. There, he was forced to submit to the man. To do everything the man wanted. Which, of course, were sexual actions.
He remembered dreading nighttime, and after his master had finished with him, he would quietly creep away and cry.
After a while, his powers matured, and he was able to control them and use them more freely. He managed to escape and that's when Farf had found him. He was in a bad way, mentally and physically.
When Farfarello had found him, he was half naked, fresh blood running down his thighs, and cuts and bruises all over his body from where his master had hit him.
Farf had cleaned him up and then brought him to the other Schwartz members. He had been a member ever since that day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farf was the only one that knew. The only one that knew his secret. Knew what had happened to him. And now it had come back to haunt him once again. Now that he had found someone to love, his past was back to haunt him.
He loved Omi. He always had. He just hadn't realized it until now. But, if Omi knew the truth about him, about what he was, what he had been forced to do, he would look at Nagi differently. He would be disgusted and would probably hate Nagi. And Nagi couldn't stand the thought of the one person he loved hating him.
He jumped as the door was flung open and then shut again. Farf stood looking at Nagi, concern on his face.
"What is it?" he asked. "More nightmares?"
Nagi angrily brushed a tear away and nodded. "It was happening all over again," he said, his voice cracking and tears pouring freely down his cheeks.
Farf hurried forward and wrapped his arms around Nagi. "It's all right," he said quietly. "It's over now. He can't hurt you any more."
Nagi tried to control his sobs, but couldn't. He finally managed to stop and sob out, "But he can," he told Farf. "He still does. These nightmares, these memories. All of it. They are caused by him." He turned away and continued. "He caused all this pain. He did. And now I can't love because of it."
Farf looked at Nagi, confusion written on his face. "What do you mean you can't love? Of course you can."
Nagi shook his head. "No Farf. You don't understand. I know that I can love. But no one can ever love me. How could they? How could anyone love someone like me?"
Farf grabbed Nagi by the shoulders and shook him. Shook him hard. "You listen to me, Nagi. What he did to you was unforgivable. But, you can't let that control you. It's in the past. You have to let it go and move on."
Nagi knew that Farfarello was right, but he was still afraid. Afraid of what Omi would think if he knew the truth. He lifted his eyes to look at Farf and was surprised to see tears in the Irishman's eyes.
"It hurts me to see you like this, Nagi. I know you love him. And he loves you. You can see it when ever he looks at you."
Nagi looked up, fresh tears in his eyes. "But I'm scared," he said. "What if he hates me after he finds out."
Farf pulled Nagi into his arms and held him tight. "He won't," he said. "And if he does, then he doesn't deserve you. You deserve better than that."
Nagi looked up at Farf's face and smiled, wiping his tears away. He reached up and brushed away Farfarello's tears.
"Thank you," he whispered.
Farf smiled and placed his arm around Nagi's shoulders. "No prob kid. That's what I'm here for."
Nagi smiled. It was nice to have people who cared about him. People who worried about and looked out for him. They were his friends. And most importantly, his family.
Author's Notes: Okay, first off, this is not what really happened to Nagi. I don't know what Nagi's past is, but this is just a made up account of what happened. It's completely fictitious, used for this story alone. Now that that's clear, what did you think? Please review. RurouniGirl
