A/N- Okay, this chapter is mostly bout Schuldich. And the plot thickens *evil chuckle* Hope you like it.
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 7
By: RurouniGirl
Nagi burst into Farf's room grinning like a fool as he plopped down onto the Irishman's bed. Farf sat up, stretching his arms above his head, and yawned.
"What are you so happy about this early in the morning?" he asked, looking at his clock.
Nagi laughed happily. "It's not early," he said. "It's almost noon. And I'm happy cause Omi loves me."
A smile spread across Farf's face. "That's wonderful," he said. "I'm so happy for you. You told him everything?"
Nagi nodded. "Yes, everything."
Farf grinned again. "I told you he wouldn't hate you. You should have learned by now...I'm always right."
Nagi laughed and flung himself at the Irishman, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Farf," he whispered. "You've always been so nice to me. You don't know what that means to me."
Farf smiled and patted Nagi's head. "Yeah, kid. I think I do."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shuldich sighed as he sank onto the couch and closed his eyes. It was times like this that he wished he had a steady relationship. Nagi had told everyone about him and Omi, and the two boys were now busy talking about all their likes, dislikes, and basically getting to know each other. Farf was sharpening his knife collection and Brad had gone to a business dinner.
Schu sighed again as he sat up and walked out onto the balcony. Right now he had never felt more alone. Everyone else knew what they wanted to do or had somebody who cared about them. Schu didn't. He had no one and didn't know what he wanted. Of all the members of Schwartz, Schuldich was having the most trouble adjusting his lifestyle. He had never known anything other than killing. Now that he didn't have that anymore he didn't know what do to.
He was surprised to feel a tear fall on his hand. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. It had been so long ago. He wiped the tears out of his eyes, but new tears kept falling. He finally just let them fall, unhindered.
He didn't know why he was feeling so lonely and depressed. He should be happy. He had very good friends. Friends who were like the family he never had. He had a roof over his head, a job. What more could he ask for?
There was only one thing he could think of that he wanted more than anything. He would give up his job, home, everything if he could have it, but he knew he didn't have a chance of getting it. All he wanted was someone to love. Someone who would love him back. Love him for who he was, not for what he pretended be.
He was tired of wearing this mask to hide his emotions. He was tired of hiding how he really felt. He wanted to be able to show his true feelings. Wanted the others to understand what he was going through.
He sighed once again and sank down to the ground. He had to get himself together. Had to put his mask back on before one of the others found him. But it was already to late. He turned his face away so that Farf wouldn't be able to see that he was crying.
Farf took a step toward the German man. "Schuldich, are you all right?" he asked, worry audible in his voice.
'Oh shit,' Schuldich thought. 'I can't let him see me like this.' "Yeah," he said, his voice quivering slightly. "I'm fine, Farf."
He brought his hand up to brush away the fresh tears that threatened to fall but was surprised when Farf caught him by the wrist. He lowered himself to sit next the Schuldich, but didn't let go of Schu's hand. He held it tightly and stroked it softly, comfortingly.
"It's okay to cry," he said softly. "And to show your emotions. You don't always have to keep them hidden, you know."
Schuldich shook his head. "Yes I do," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "I do."
He bowed his head, trying to hide his tears and brought his arm up to his face, stifling his sobs. He tried to suppress them, but to no avail. They just kept coming. His body shook violently with each sob. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth.
He cried out involuntarily as he felt himself being pulled into Farf's arms. Once surrounded by the Irishman's safe and comforting embrace, Schuldich felt the tears begin to ebb away. He buried his face in Farf's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist.
The tears finally stopped, but Schuldich continued to cling to Farf. He didn't want to let go. He felt safe and secure in Farf's arms. If he left that comforting, safe place, he was afraid of what would happen. He was afraid that he would fall apart again. Or even worse, put his mask back on and he didn't want to do that. Not just now. He still had a lot of emotions he had to get out before he could put his mask back on. If he didn't get them all out now, when he had someone willing to listen to him, then he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his mask on...afraid it would break.
He sighed. He knew he would have to leave the safety of Farf's arms. He began to pull away but Farf's grip remained firm.
"Farf?" Schu said the name questioningly.
The Irishman looked up at Schuldich. The setting sun created a halo of light around the German man. At that moment, Schuldich had never looked more beautiful. Farfarello smiled softly before leaning in and kissing Schuldich. For a minute Schuldich just stood there, to stunned to respond. Then he responded, kissing Farf back.
It wasn't a long kiss. It was short and sweet. The two stood there looking at each other for a moment, then Schuldich broke the silence.
He smiled slightly and spoke one simple word. "Why?" he asked.
Farf shook his head. "Because I love you," he replied. "And I understand what you are going through."
"You...you love me?
Farf shook his head. "Yes, I do. Very much," he replied. " I know what it's like to not know what you're going to do with your life. All I've ever known is killing. Now that that's gone, what do I do now?"
Schu nodded. "I know," he said. He looked up. "Farf?" he asked.
"Yeah?"
"What do we do now?"
Farf shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "But I'll tell you what I'm gonna do," he continued as he moved closer to Schuldich.
"What?" Schu asked.
Farf grinned mischievously. "This," he said, as he grabbed Schuldich by the waist and pulled him in for another kiss.
Author's Notes: Okay, what do you think. As always please review. RurouniGirl
Unsure Feelings: Chapter 7
By: RurouniGirl
Nagi burst into Farf's room grinning like a fool as he plopped down onto the Irishman's bed. Farf sat up, stretching his arms above his head, and yawned.
"What are you so happy about this early in the morning?" he asked, looking at his clock.
Nagi laughed happily. "It's not early," he said. "It's almost noon. And I'm happy cause Omi loves me."
A smile spread across Farf's face. "That's wonderful," he said. "I'm so happy for you. You told him everything?"
Nagi nodded. "Yes, everything."
Farf grinned again. "I told you he wouldn't hate you. You should have learned by now...I'm always right."
Nagi laughed and flung himself at the Irishman, hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Farf," he whispered. "You've always been so nice to me. You don't know what that means to me."
Farf smiled and patted Nagi's head. "Yeah, kid. I think I do."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shuldich sighed as he sank onto the couch and closed his eyes. It was times like this that he wished he had a steady relationship. Nagi had told everyone about him and Omi, and the two boys were now busy talking about all their likes, dislikes, and basically getting to know each other. Farf was sharpening his knife collection and Brad had gone to a business dinner.
Schu sighed again as he sat up and walked out onto the balcony. Right now he had never felt more alone. Everyone else knew what they wanted to do or had somebody who cared about them. Schu didn't. He had no one and didn't know what he wanted. Of all the members of Schwartz, Schuldich was having the most trouble adjusting his lifestyle. He had never known anything other than killing. Now that he didn't have that anymore he didn't know what do to.
He was surprised to feel a tear fall on his hand. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. It had been so long ago. He wiped the tears out of his eyes, but new tears kept falling. He finally just let them fall, unhindered.
He didn't know why he was feeling so lonely and depressed. He should be happy. He had very good friends. Friends who were like the family he never had. He had a roof over his head, a job. What more could he ask for?
There was only one thing he could think of that he wanted more than anything. He would give up his job, home, everything if he could have it, but he knew he didn't have a chance of getting it. All he wanted was someone to love. Someone who would love him back. Love him for who he was, not for what he pretended be.
He was tired of wearing this mask to hide his emotions. He was tired of hiding how he really felt. He wanted to be able to show his true feelings. Wanted the others to understand what he was going through.
He sighed once again and sank down to the ground. He had to get himself together. Had to put his mask back on before one of the others found him. But it was already to late. He turned his face away so that Farf wouldn't be able to see that he was crying.
Farf took a step toward the German man. "Schuldich, are you all right?" he asked, worry audible in his voice.
'Oh shit,' Schuldich thought. 'I can't let him see me like this.' "Yeah," he said, his voice quivering slightly. "I'm fine, Farf."
He brought his hand up to brush away the fresh tears that threatened to fall but was surprised when Farf caught him by the wrist. He lowered himself to sit next the Schuldich, but didn't let go of Schu's hand. He held it tightly and stroked it softly, comfortingly.
"It's okay to cry," he said softly. "And to show your emotions. You don't always have to keep them hidden, you know."
Schuldich shook his head. "Yes I do," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "I do."
He bowed his head, trying to hide his tears and brought his arm up to his face, stifling his sobs. He tried to suppress them, but to no avail. They just kept coming. His body shook violently with each sob. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked back and forth.
He cried out involuntarily as he felt himself being pulled into Farf's arms. Once surrounded by the Irishman's safe and comforting embrace, Schuldich felt the tears begin to ebb away. He buried his face in Farf's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist.
The tears finally stopped, but Schuldich continued to cling to Farf. He didn't want to let go. He felt safe and secure in Farf's arms. If he left that comforting, safe place, he was afraid of what would happen. He was afraid that he would fall apart again. Or even worse, put his mask back on and he didn't want to do that. Not just now. He still had a lot of emotions he had to get out before he could put his mask back on. If he didn't get them all out now, when he had someone willing to listen to him, then he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep his mask on...afraid it would break.
He sighed. He knew he would have to leave the safety of Farf's arms. He began to pull away but Farf's grip remained firm.
"Farf?" Schu said the name questioningly.
The Irishman looked up at Schuldich. The setting sun created a halo of light around the German man. At that moment, Schuldich had never looked more beautiful. Farfarello smiled softly before leaning in and kissing Schuldich. For a minute Schuldich just stood there, to stunned to respond. Then he responded, kissing Farf back.
It wasn't a long kiss. It was short and sweet. The two stood there looking at each other for a moment, then Schuldich broke the silence.
He smiled slightly and spoke one simple word. "Why?" he asked.
Farf shook his head. "Because I love you," he replied. "And I understand what you are going through."
"You...you love me?
Farf shook his head. "Yes, I do. Very much," he replied. " I know what it's like to not know what you're going to do with your life. All I've ever known is killing. Now that that's gone, what do I do now?"
Schu nodded. "I know," he said. He looked up. "Farf?" he asked.
"Yeah?"
"What do we do now?"
Farf shook his head. "I don't know," he said. "But I'll tell you what I'm gonna do," he continued as he moved closer to Schuldich.
"What?" Schu asked.
Farf grinned mischievously. "This," he said, as he grabbed Schuldich by the waist and pulled him in for another kiss.
Author's Notes: Okay, what do you think. As always please review. RurouniGirl
