Regular disclaimer applies, I hope you like it!
Chapter 6: A Silent Prayer
As Dr. Corday made a small incision on the side of Carter's stomach, bright red blood came oozing out. On the other side of the glass Susan was looking in with tears in her eyes. She had seen this kind of operation many times and knew that Corday was a brilliant surgeon, but there was something about today, having one of her best friends lying on that table, that just didn't feel right to her. The past few days had all gone really fast for her and the realization that she might not ever talk to her friend again was really setting in. Romano came around the corner and put his hand on her shoulder. "You need to get out of here." He said. "This operation takes many hours. Go get some sleep or get some coffee. If anything happens I will call you, ok?" The softness in his voice calmed her a little and she nodded her head and started to walk out the door. Right as she reached it she turned around and walked back to the glass. She put her hand against the glass and softly kissed it. As she brought her hand down she looked at the mark that she had left. 'This is it,' Susan thought to herself. 'If it doesn't go well that will be all I have, memories.' She quickly turned to walk away and attempted to hide the tears starting to come down her face. As Susan walked out of the hospital, she realized that she didn't want anything to eat or drink. 'Maybe just a walk' she said to herself. As she wrapped the coat tightly around her chest she looked up at the night sky. It had become a very clear night and she could see the stars beautifully. She always loved autumn nights like these. She could vividly remember the nights when she was a child, looking up at the stars from her roof for hours. And then that night with Carter when they were both waiting for his grandmother to come home. The night when she first realized how handsome he really was. The cool air blew and snapped her back into reality. She slowly made her way to the park, she knew that there were benches by the lake; she figured that would be a perfect spot to sit and think. As Susan passed her favorite oak tree she saw a bench with a shadowy figure curled up on it. As she walked closer to it she could almost make out the shivering, crying body lying there. "Abby?" Susan said. "Is that you? Are you ok?" She was now certain of whom it was and walked over to sit next to her. Abby was sitting there without her coat, shivering, with tears running down her face. "I left him." Abby started to mumble. "He needed me and I left him. I just couldn't stay there any longer. I'll never see him. I just can't.. I- I..." Susan pulled her into a hug. She didn't know what to say. It wouldn't have mattered much anyway in the state that Abby was in. They both sat there until Susan could feel Abby starting to relax. "Are you ok? You must be freezing." Susan said to her. She waited for the response from Abby that never came. After many minutes Abby cleared her throat and began to talk clearly. " I hope that he is ok. I really need him to be with me. I know I don't deserve that after walking out on him before his operation like that but I just didn't want him to have to see me like this. It would have made the situation worse." Susan just nodded. She was looking for the right thing to say. She didn't want anything to come out wrong and upset Abby; Abby didn't deserve any more pain right now. Finally Susan had decided on what to say. " Do you pray much?" she thought the question might get their thoughts away from Carter. Abby looked up at her, puzzled by the question. "Do I pray much? I don't know. Not really I guess. Why? Do you?" Susan pulled her even closer and brought her gaze down from the night sky to Abby's eyes. "I pray when I have nothing else to lose." Susan said, her eyes now shiny with water building up in them. After another awkward silence Abby started to talk again. "I don't know how you can do it." that statement was met by a confused look from Susan. "Be a doctor and be religious I mean. I know I can't. Being in the medical profession and being responsible for people's lives, in all that we do to save them, if some God has the choice to either save them or not no matter what we do then why bother? If he really cares about us then why does he do all of these awful things to people that we see every day? Why did he do this to us? To Carter? If I could get that answered then I would be a believer." Susan was shocked by Abby's frankness. She had never thought that Abby would have all of that to say, especially at a time like this. Susan fumbled around with words figuring that it was better to say anything then nothing at all. "Well you know how I do it? I think that God gives us this one life to do with it what we want. We can take care of our friends or go stab them. We can take care of our bodies or poison them. He has nothing to do with free will. Most of the cases we see are things done by free will. Someone chooses to speed down the highway and hit another car, or someone chooses to overdose on drugs. Those people he can't protect because of free will. He tries to take care of those who don't choose to be ill. But sometimes he gets tired too. And I think that, that is when good people, people like Carter get hurt. Then it is up to us, and our free will to help them. To make sure that God's mistake gets fixed. That was the gift to us, the ability to do that. We just haven't gotten it all together yet. So. when things get really bad, I know that it was just a mistake. Then to get God's attention to it I pray and ask him to please just watch over us, and if we can't get his mistake right, to be right there when that person comes up to heaven. That's all you can do. That's what I do with Carter. It is out of our hands now. And you can do two things, you can sit here in the cold and wish everything was better, or you can come to the hospital and, for better or worse, be with the man that you love. I am going to go to the hospital, I hope you do too." With that Susan got up and started to walk back into the snow, in the direction that she had come from, to be with Carter whether he woke or not. Abby sat there in the park. She couldn't even conceive of moving at that very moment. She was trying to take in the past few days in only a few seconds. She wanted to be with Carter, but she was scared of walking into the hospital and seeing a sheet over him. That was one of her biggest fears, not being able to talk to him again. Not being able to hear his voice tell her that everything was going to be all right. Not being able to walk down the isle with him, or have his kids. But most of all, she was afraid that he would die without hearing her tell him 'I love you'. So she sat there trying to gather up the strength to move, and then she closed her eyes. 'Dear God' She started, 'I know I am not very good at this, but I just wanted to ask you if you could please watch over John Carter for me. He is really sick, and I don't know if I can be there for him right now, so I am asking you to be there instead. We have a lot of love for each other, and I am just asking for you to just, just be with him, no matter what happens.' She opened her eyes and stood up. Even though she hadn't said a word, she knew that her silent prayer had been heard. Whether it was just by her, or if it was by someone greater, she didn't know. She just hoped it would be answered. Abby started to walk to the hospital the same way that Susan had gone. The soft, cool air freshened her up and she felt better now. Her happy mind frame was shattered by the sound of her beeper. She took it off of her waistband and looked at the number. It was Susan's. Next she scrolled over to the message option. The only thing it said was H-U-R-R- Y.
Ok guys! I hope you liked it! Only one more chapter left. Let me know what you think!
Always,
Kathleen
Chapter 6: A Silent Prayer
As Dr. Corday made a small incision on the side of Carter's stomach, bright red blood came oozing out. On the other side of the glass Susan was looking in with tears in her eyes. She had seen this kind of operation many times and knew that Corday was a brilliant surgeon, but there was something about today, having one of her best friends lying on that table, that just didn't feel right to her. The past few days had all gone really fast for her and the realization that she might not ever talk to her friend again was really setting in. Romano came around the corner and put his hand on her shoulder. "You need to get out of here." He said. "This operation takes many hours. Go get some sleep or get some coffee. If anything happens I will call you, ok?" The softness in his voice calmed her a little and she nodded her head and started to walk out the door. Right as she reached it she turned around and walked back to the glass. She put her hand against the glass and softly kissed it. As she brought her hand down she looked at the mark that she had left. 'This is it,' Susan thought to herself. 'If it doesn't go well that will be all I have, memories.' She quickly turned to walk away and attempted to hide the tears starting to come down her face. As Susan walked out of the hospital, she realized that she didn't want anything to eat or drink. 'Maybe just a walk' she said to herself. As she wrapped the coat tightly around her chest she looked up at the night sky. It had become a very clear night and she could see the stars beautifully. She always loved autumn nights like these. She could vividly remember the nights when she was a child, looking up at the stars from her roof for hours. And then that night with Carter when they were both waiting for his grandmother to come home. The night when she first realized how handsome he really was. The cool air blew and snapped her back into reality. She slowly made her way to the park, she knew that there were benches by the lake; she figured that would be a perfect spot to sit and think. As Susan passed her favorite oak tree she saw a bench with a shadowy figure curled up on it. As she walked closer to it she could almost make out the shivering, crying body lying there. "Abby?" Susan said. "Is that you? Are you ok?" She was now certain of whom it was and walked over to sit next to her. Abby was sitting there without her coat, shivering, with tears running down her face. "I left him." Abby started to mumble. "He needed me and I left him. I just couldn't stay there any longer. I'll never see him. I just can't.. I- I..." Susan pulled her into a hug. She didn't know what to say. It wouldn't have mattered much anyway in the state that Abby was in. They both sat there until Susan could feel Abby starting to relax. "Are you ok? You must be freezing." Susan said to her. She waited for the response from Abby that never came. After many minutes Abby cleared her throat and began to talk clearly. " I hope that he is ok. I really need him to be with me. I know I don't deserve that after walking out on him before his operation like that but I just didn't want him to have to see me like this. It would have made the situation worse." Susan just nodded. She was looking for the right thing to say. She didn't want anything to come out wrong and upset Abby; Abby didn't deserve any more pain right now. Finally Susan had decided on what to say. " Do you pray much?" she thought the question might get their thoughts away from Carter. Abby looked up at her, puzzled by the question. "Do I pray much? I don't know. Not really I guess. Why? Do you?" Susan pulled her even closer and brought her gaze down from the night sky to Abby's eyes. "I pray when I have nothing else to lose." Susan said, her eyes now shiny with water building up in them. After another awkward silence Abby started to talk again. "I don't know how you can do it." that statement was met by a confused look from Susan. "Be a doctor and be religious I mean. I know I can't. Being in the medical profession and being responsible for people's lives, in all that we do to save them, if some God has the choice to either save them or not no matter what we do then why bother? If he really cares about us then why does he do all of these awful things to people that we see every day? Why did he do this to us? To Carter? If I could get that answered then I would be a believer." Susan was shocked by Abby's frankness. She had never thought that Abby would have all of that to say, especially at a time like this. Susan fumbled around with words figuring that it was better to say anything then nothing at all. "Well you know how I do it? I think that God gives us this one life to do with it what we want. We can take care of our friends or go stab them. We can take care of our bodies or poison them. He has nothing to do with free will. Most of the cases we see are things done by free will. Someone chooses to speed down the highway and hit another car, or someone chooses to overdose on drugs. Those people he can't protect because of free will. He tries to take care of those who don't choose to be ill. But sometimes he gets tired too. And I think that, that is when good people, people like Carter get hurt. Then it is up to us, and our free will to help them. To make sure that God's mistake gets fixed. That was the gift to us, the ability to do that. We just haven't gotten it all together yet. So. when things get really bad, I know that it was just a mistake. Then to get God's attention to it I pray and ask him to please just watch over us, and if we can't get his mistake right, to be right there when that person comes up to heaven. That's all you can do. That's what I do with Carter. It is out of our hands now. And you can do two things, you can sit here in the cold and wish everything was better, or you can come to the hospital and, for better or worse, be with the man that you love. I am going to go to the hospital, I hope you do too." With that Susan got up and started to walk back into the snow, in the direction that she had come from, to be with Carter whether he woke or not. Abby sat there in the park. She couldn't even conceive of moving at that very moment. She was trying to take in the past few days in only a few seconds. She wanted to be with Carter, but she was scared of walking into the hospital and seeing a sheet over him. That was one of her biggest fears, not being able to talk to him again. Not being able to hear his voice tell her that everything was going to be all right. Not being able to walk down the isle with him, or have his kids. But most of all, she was afraid that he would die without hearing her tell him 'I love you'. So she sat there trying to gather up the strength to move, and then she closed her eyes. 'Dear God' She started, 'I know I am not very good at this, but I just wanted to ask you if you could please watch over John Carter for me. He is really sick, and I don't know if I can be there for him right now, so I am asking you to be there instead. We have a lot of love for each other, and I am just asking for you to just, just be with him, no matter what happens.' She opened her eyes and stood up. Even though she hadn't said a word, she knew that her silent prayer had been heard. Whether it was just by her, or if it was by someone greater, she didn't know. She just hoped it would be answered. Abby started to walk to the hospital the same way that Susan had gone. The soft, cool air freshened her up and she felt better now. Her happy mind frame was shattered by the sound of her beeper. She took it off of her waistband and looked at the number. It was Susan's. Next she scrolled over to the message option. The only thing it said was H-U-R-R- Y.
Ok guys! I hope you liked it! Only one more chapter left. Let me know what you think!
Always,
Kathleen