Ponyboy: Telling the Truth

            When I got home from the DX Station, I did my homework right away. As soon as I finished I headed towards the lot, leaving a note for Soda and Darry. I plopped down into the spot where I was that morning and thought. What if something happened to me when I was out there in the mountains with Steve? What if I went there…but never came back?

            "No, that wouldn't happen, Ponyboy. Your imagination is running wild again," I scolded myself. I found that I scolded myself a lot lately. Sighing, I slapped my face into my knees, harder than I wanted to. The bruise on my face throbbed with pain as soon as I did that. Wincing, I sat up again. Why did everything have to be so hard now that Johnny and Dally were gone? Before they died, both Steve and I could still stand each other. It was really Darry that I had a problem with. Steve was just there…he never really popped out at me before. Now that things were solved between Darry and I and two of my best friends ever died, Steve Randle jumped out at me like he never did before. It was like all of the sudden, he irritated me more than anything in the world. I had tried reasoning with myself, telling myself that I wasn't being fair, but that only led to more frustration and anger towards Steve Randle. Stopping myself before I worked myself up, I asked out loud, "What would Johnny and Dally say?" For some reason, I had grown closer to Dally during the whole Windrixville situation.

            "Calm down, Pony. You'll be alright. Just think: once you get through the five days with Steve, you'll be back here and we can sit here under the stars again. It'll be alright Pony, it'll be alright," Johnny's voice echoed through my mind followed by Dally's, "Kid, if that Steve Randle's givin' you any trouble, just tell him to get the hell away from you. Damnit, Ponyboy, get smart and tell him off. Don't let some punk push you around."

            Tears stung my eyes as I pictured Johnny's scared, gentle puppy features of a boy and Dally's mean, tough hoodlum features of a tough greaser. I blinked once, twice, then three times, trying to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. I missed them so much, but I thought that I had gotten over that; I thought that I had moved on from it and continued to live. But the truth was, I was still moping and feeling sorry for myself. As hard as I tried though, I couldn't stop from doing that. My brain was telling me to stop because I couldn't just stop living at the death of friends, but my heart wasn't listening. I wanted to kick myself when I realized there were tears like waterfalls flowing down my face.

            "Pony?" a voice asked me from behind me. I jumped, "What?" I asked quickly wiping the tears away from my eyes and turning around. It was Soda.

            "I got your note."

            "O-Oh…What are you doing here?"

            "I was just wondering what you were doing at the lot. None of us come here anymore."

            "I come here to think…about things."

            "About who gave you those bruises, huh?" Soda asked, with only a little humor in his voice. I looked up at him, startled, "Uh…no. Whatever gave you that idea?"

            "Because I can see right through you and I know for a fact that you were lying at the DX today."

I looked back down again, "I told you it was Stevenson."

            "Who was Stevenson?" We both looked up to see Darry standing there with a concerned look on his face. When he saw my face, Darry's eyes widened, "Ponyboy…what happened to your face?!"

            "Got into a fight," I mumbled.

            "With…Stevenson…" Soda finished, stressing the Steve in Stevenson. Darry got it immediately, "Ponyboy, who was it and don't go bullshitting me, ya hear?"

I was so startled at Darry using a swear word (he doesn't use swear words very often…usually that's Steve or Two-Bit) that I stuttered, "It…It…It was Steve."

            "Steve Randle?" Darry asked while Soda wasn't surprised at all.

            "No, Steve Stevenson!" I practically snapped at him. Darry and Soda backed off for a minute, talking in hushed voices. I rolled my eyes and turned away from them watching the sun lower over the horizon.

I wondered if I would ever get the chance to see the sunset or the sunrise like I did in Windrixville. Where I could see the mist grazing over the view, as if brushing past the sun. Johnny really liked that sunset. It was the first real one that he'd ever really seen. He…he'd asked me to tell Dally to look at the sunset too. He told me that maybe if Dally watched the sunset, he wouldn't be so bitter about everything. 'If I had gotten Dally to watch a sunset…Maybe he wouldn't be dead right now.' I thought, frustrated, banging my fist into the dirt. Soda and Darry jumped and looked over at me, but I paid no attention though. My favorite part of the sunset was coming on now. When the sun was almost out of disappearance and all you could see were the colors radiating off of the sun and into the night sky like a final nightlight for the world before they had to go to sleep.

            "Ponyboy?" I heard on of my brothers ask.

            "Hmm?" I responded absent-mindly. Soda sat next to me, "Uh…what are you doing?" Finally, I turned to look at him, finding it hard to tear my eyes away from a beautiful sight, "Watching the sunset. This is the best part. Its right before the sun disappears below the horizon. Look at all the colors and how they reflect into the sky. Look at how it brightens up the sky before it goes completely dark," I murmured to both my brothers, who were now staring into the sky.

            We sat in a comfortable silence for awhile, watching together and taking in everything around us before the day was over. I heard Soda beside me, "Whoa…" he breathed once it was over.

            "That was amazing…" Darry agreed. I looked at them amusedly. Sunsets were always here. Every night they could of watched them and they had never ever noticed it before? I found that funny and unbelievable.

            "So this is what you do when you're supposed to be taking out the garbage!" Darry exclaimed. I nodded sheepishly, "Yeah. I saw an even better sunrise in Windrixville with Johnny," surprisingly, I didn't choke on his name like I usually did, "He was amazed by it. His reaction was something like yours…maybe a bit less exaggerated. He loved it and he was looking forward to seeing more with me back here in Tulsa. In the hospital…in the hospital before he…before he died," I had a lot of trouble getting this out. I hadn't told anyone about this, "Before he died…he wrote a note to me and stuck it into the Gone with the Wind book that he was really getting into. Johnny asked me to show Dally a sunset…but…but it's too late. I can't help but wonder…if I did show Dally a sunset…would he have targeted himself to be shot?" by this time, tears were running down my cheeks. I hadn't realized how much this hurt for me to say it out loud. I had always been able to think it without tearing…but I never thought saying it out loud was going to be this hard.

            I felt an arm around my shoulder and a hand in my hair. My brothers were trying to comfort me and by the way they were handling the situation, they knew how much it hurt for me. I was so glad that I had Soda and Darry there for me. I was so glad that they understood. We sat in another comfortable silence. Darry finally got up, "Come on, little buddy. We gotta help you get ready for the trip."

            Slowly, I got up. I had forgotten about the trip. But now I remembered. I didn't want to remember, but I had to face the facts. After this weekend, I had to spend an entire five days with Steve Randle, who hated me…and who I hated back.

*So what do you think? Strong? Weak? What do you think on Ponyboy's part? Is it too deep for him??? REVIEW PLEASE!! Don't worry the trip is coming up next chapter…or the one after.*