Stranger than Fiction

Chapter 10

Fangula heaved a bat-sized sigh as he winged his way back to Hillhurst. It had been a wonderful night! Who would've thought he could enjoy a bath so much? Of course he had gotten quite an eyeful of female flesh in the process, but who was he to be splitting hairs? And what a female Jo was! Not only was she a splendid example of her gender; she was also nice. And forgiving. With just enough fire in her to make an interesting contrast to her caring nature. She had been somewhat scrappy and tomboyish as a child, but she had blossomed into an exceptional young woman.

If Fangula wasn't so prideful, he would have thanked Little Ghoul for facilitating this union. He had lost the respect of his fellow monsters, but had gained a fiancée. A fair trade, no? Yes. He sighed again. He no longer had their full respect, Flabber excluded of course, but he still had their friendship. Let them pity him all they liked! He no longer gave a flying hoot.

Many things that should have occurred to him didn't, but these things would soon become apparent.

* * *

Flabber paced the length and breadth of his parlor, theatrically biting his nails. His every move and gesture was being traced by two pairs of eyes set in otherwise motionless faces. Finally, the owner of one of those pairs of eyes began to show some annoyance, demanding in a low voice, "Will you please stop that? You're beginning to try my patience." As he spoke, his sneering lips revealed a set of deadly pointed fangs. Flabber obediently froze in place, as if he the vampire had said 'red light.'

The vampire's female companion adjusted her shroud-like hood, and sighed. "Don't take it out on him, my Lord Vlad. He is not to blame for the spell that has ensorcelled my son. It is not the girl's fault, either." She said, pronouncing the last word 'eyether' instead of 'eether'.

Vlad stood up and began pacing, as if he had forgotten that he had just told Flabber off for doing the same thing. "You are far too tolerant, Countess," he told her, hooking his thumbs in his belt buckle. "It is your son, not mine, who is enamored with this human. If they are permitted to couple, you know what the result will be. It is as if to seek pleasure with an animal!" he growled.

At this, the woman stiffened. "Humans are not animals, Sir! We were both human ourselves, once."

"Silence, woman." He rounded on her, and might have struck her if she had been in range. "I suppose you want to have a dhampire for a grandchild! Most such creatures commit suicide, if they aren't killed off by those overzealous stake-wielders. Well, I say no! Either he makes her one of us, or I," he struck his chest with a fist, "will kill her myself. If only to save the lad from himself." He added, though it was apparent that saving Fangula wasn't really all that important to him.

Rosamund advanced on him until they were nose to nose. "You will do no such thing, my Lord," she snarled, her eyes illuminating the room with her righteous ire, "The girl is an innocent, and so is my son. We will at least hear their side of the story."

He slapped her. She slapped him right back, twice as hard.

The front door opened, and Rosamund gave him one last boiling-hot glare before going out into the foyer. Vlad wiped a trace of blood from his split lip, which healed so quickly that it might as well have not been damaged, and he licked the blood from his fingers with a sensuous shiver. He smirked. What a woman! It was a pity she was so low on the social ladder, or he might consider courting her. Flabber was privately disgusted.

* * *

Fangula had barely put a foot over the threshold before the last person he had expected to see flung her arms around his neck, exclaiming, "Darling boy, how I've missed you! Goodness, what have you done to your shirt?" she stepped back, eyeing dingy stain that he had gotten from the exploding drain.

"Mother, wh—what…" he stammered, "What brings you here?"

Before she could answer him, Vlad stepped into view and folded his arms. "Count Fangula. It seems you can't stay out of trouble. First you go almost a month without claiming a victim, and now you're saddling a human wench. What shame!"

Fangula did the only sensible thing he could think of to do at the time; he fainted.

* * *

"No, I haven't been with her yet." Fangula answered Vlad's question when he had come to, unaware that he had said 'yet'. Vlad, however, noticed this and pounced.

"Yet? No, no 'yet', I forbid it! If you only wanted her for the pleasure, I could understand that if not condone it, as long as you disposed of her in a suitable fashion afterwards or made her one of us; but from the way you speak of the matter, you seem to intend to keep her alive. Vampires and humans don't mix, as you well know."

"Why not!" he snapped before he caught himself, horrified. Vlad struck him with such force that he went flying across the room, upsetting a couch. Rosamund ran to her son's side, and helped him up into a sitting position.

"My son, you know why not." she said gently, mopping the trickle of blood from his chin with her handkerchief. "Any child of yours brought into the world by her will be a half-breed. Her child will expose your nature to the humans, and if you aren't hunted down the child will be."

Fangula pushed her hands away. "Mother, this is not Transylvania. This is America. I've seen the humans who live here, some with so many tattoos and piercings that they don't even look human! Why, I even attended a football game once, in a stadium packed to the gills with hundreds of humans, and no one even gave me a second glance. Nobody even believes in us anymore."

"And I intend to keep it that way!" Vlad flared, "Either you make her one of us, or she dies. It's up to you. Which do you choose?"

Fangula regained his feet, and looked from Vlad to Rosamund to Flabber (who remained in stasis for the time being), then back to Vlad. "What I choose is not one of your proffered options."

"I beg your pardon?"

"She will remain as she is, and I have no intention of leaving her."

"Then I will take care—" Vlad began, but Fangula interrupted him in a voice so savage that his mother almost didn't recognize it as his.

"You so much as look at her cross-eyed, and I will enlist the help of all the Nussbaums I can scrounge up to go after you. If they fail, I will come after you myself! Commissioner or no, I refuse to allow you near my fiancée!"

Oops…he had just let the proverbial kitty out of the bag…

Vlad stared. Rosamund gasped. Flabber's jaw dropped to the floor with a loud 'bonk', but nobody noticed the phasm.

"Your…your what?" Vlad blinked, not sure he had heard right.

It was too late to take it back. Fangula could do nothing but push on. "Tonight I asked her to marry me. She said yes. A year from now, we're getting married." He took a step forward, "And you are not to touch her."

"Make her one of us." Vlad said, though he was losing momentum; he was little used to having his will crossed, especially by one he considered to be almost as low on the social ladder as humans. He seemed to be torn between ripping Fangula limb from limb, or crumpling to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.

"No."

"Have you given her a ring?"

"Well, no…"

"Then it is not official."

"Yes," Fangula replied, "It is. I bit her. She is bound to me."

Rosamund sat down rather heavily. "Oh dear…"

"I forbid you to marry this girl!" Vlad raged.

"Do you truly love her?" Rosamund asked her son, pointedly ignoring Vlad. She knew about the spell, but she still needed to hear a confirmation from him.

Fangula's eyes glazed over as he remembered the shower he had taken with Jo. "More than anything. If we can't be married, then we'll just have to live in sin." He lifted his chin defiantly.

"Then, if you will, allow me to meet her and speak with her." She told him.

"But you've already met her." he protested, ignoring his fuming superior.

"She was a child at the time. I want to see the woman she's become. I trust your judgment, but this love was brought on by a spell. I need to see for myself whether or not she is suitable. Though I suspect you will marry her, with or without my blessing." She smiled at him before jerking her head in Vlad's direction, "Or his permission."

Vlad turned away, heading for the front door. "We'll see," he muttered, and disappeared into the night.

Fangula surged forward, but his mother held him back with a strength that a human woman (other than Jo, that is) could never possess. "Let go! He's going after her!"

"Don't worry, I will take care of that." she told him, pulling him over to a chair and forcing him to sit. Then, turning to Flabber, she said, "Phasm, I appeal to you to warn this girl of our lord's coming. Have her find transportation. I want her here within the hour."

Flabber immediately clicked his feet together and saluted. "Sir, yes sir! Eep, I mean ma'am!"

The phasm zipped from the room, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. Rosamund blinked twice, and turned to her son. "Is…is he always like that?"

Fangula sighed, cupping his chin in his hands. "Yes."