Stranger than Fiction
Chapter 14
Jo was released from the hospital three days later. Due to the suspicious nature of her accident, the police came by and she had to answer a few questions. Yes, she had a boyfriend. No, they hadn't had a fight. No, there wasn't any chance that he was connected to it. She explained away the 'motor cycle' tracks by saying that they had already been there, but though they didn't believe her, they couldn't prove otherwise. She couldn't explain to them how she had ended up the bottom of the cliff in that condition, and she had simply told them that she couldn't remember. They finally let her go, telling her to be careful, and one of them slipped her a pamphlet on domestic abuse. She had thanked him politely, though she found the idea insulting, since nothing of that sort had happened.
Fangula had wanted to be there, but everyone including himself felt that it would only be asking for trouble, what with the police being there and his being what he was. It was decided that Drew would drive her to Hillhurst, and they would see each other then.
Drew helped Jo on with her seat belt, and started up the car. She leaned back, fingering the crucifix around her neck, reflecting. So far, Fangula was still able to look at it and handle it. It had amazed her that he had put his life on the line for hers, but it filled her with a swell of pride as well. It also relieved her to know that Drew finally seemed to accept that they were in love, and there was no way to end it. Now all she had to do was convince her parents…erk!
Drew took the turns very carefully, and though she fought it, she soon dozed off. Her painkillers had brought sleep, and with the sleep came the dreams…
Though she hardly remembered what Vlad the Impaler had looked like, she did remember that he had very piercing eyes. Not piercing in the same way that Fangula's were; Fangula's eyes had bordered on playful when he had chased her all those years ago. It was mostly a game, and even when he was very angry for one reason or another, his eyes were only that; angry, not cruel or calculating. Vlad's eyes, on the other hand, seemed to cast a mist of poison on everything and everyone they viewed. Vlad was really and truly evil. And he was coming for her now, opening his mouth as he stood over her coffin…her coffin! She heard herself whimper once, and it was a child's voice. She heard him chuckling low in his throat as he flung his cape back over his shoulder…she scooted back…he was coming closer, closer…
"No!" she cried, flinging her arms forward, causing pain to lance up her left arm. Drew swerved, startled, and someone honked their horn at them. Drew pulled over hurriedly, and flipped on the emergency blinkers.
"You all right?" he asked her, holding on to her shoulders until her panting subsided into normal breathing.
"Yeah, I…I think so. Are…are we almost there?" she asked shakily.
"We'll be there in about two minutes." He replied, sensing that she didn't want to talk just yet. He flipped the blinkers off, and merged back into the almost nonexistent traffic.
Jo squeezed the crucifix, as if it could ward off the dreams that had plagued her for the past few nights, and whenever she happened to doze off. Fangula had never provoked such fear in her when he had seen her as a source of food, probably because he had also seen her as an unattainable one, and maybe because he even saw her as an almost-friend. Vlad just wanted her dead, for no other reason than that she was on friendly terms with a vampire, and he had almost succeeded in ending her life.
She let the cross drop, and closed her eyes once more. She and Drew had talked about what Fangula had done when the vampire was off getting something from the cafeteria for them, and that was the first time she heard about the daring rescue. When she asked if Fangula was okay, Drew had replied, "Well, he…it did shake him up a little, but the cross didn't hurt him." Then, he had said, "You know, it surprised me that I was the one he called for help. It was all over at that point, but he…he actually called me, and he probably still thinks I hate him."
"Do you?" she had asked.
"No, I didn't even hate him before. But if I did, I wouldn't be able to now." Drew had replied, "He risked everything to save you…You know, you could do a lot worse than him…"
That was the biggest surprise of all, to hear her brother say that.
* * *
Jo was relieved when they turned into the Hillhurst driveway, and a little surprised to see Fangula standing in a shady spot on the porch. He was wearing his dark glasses, and she could tell by the expression on his face that the light was still making him squint. Even so, he was smiling as he raised his arm in a vigorous wave. He turned and called out something that she couldn't hear, and Flabber, Roland, and the other house monsters (except for Little Ghoul, who was hiding out of shame) practically burst through the door. Rosamund emerged a moment later, somewhat more dignified than the others.
Drew began to help Jo off with her seat belt, but she smiled and said, "I can do it. I'm not crippled for life, you know."
He shrugged and got out of the car, and as if he hadn't heard her, he opened the door for her with a courtly bow.
"You are impossible." She growled playfully as she passed him. Amidst all the cheering and the clapping, she and Fangula came together and embraced. He was warm from standing outside in the heat, and he was even wearing a touch of Old Spice. She had hardly looked up when he covered her mouth with his own, eliciting a catcall from Mums.
Flabber tapped Fangula on the shoulder, and said dryly, "All right, enough of that, it's my turn."
Fangula raised an eyebrow, and returned gamely, "Just for a hug, Flabber…a short one! She's already spoken for."
Flabber was about to come out with a retort, but Jo quickly gave him the hug he had requested, and he forgot what he had been about to say. "How goes the day, Flabber?" she asked lightly, and all he could do was laugh.
"Ooh, look!" Frankenbeans bounced excitedly, pointing to her purple cast, "Pretty color! Me see?"
"Let's get her inside first," said Fangula, knowing that Frankie would probably try to pick her up by it, and she couldn't crack her knuckles to summon her strength with an injured arm. Just then, he noticed that his mother was shielding her face, and at the same time he noticed that the crucifix was hanging from Jo's neck. "Jo, can you please put that away?" he asked, pointing.
"What?" she looked down, then up at the cringing vampiress. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" she said quickly, tucking the cross into her collar and out of sight. "I forgot I had it on! Are you okay?"
"Quite all right," Rosamund reassured her, though her eyes were a little red, "just try to remember next time." Then, seeing that Jo was almost on the verge of tears, she said more gently, "My dear, don't worry about it. It was as much from the sun as from the crucifix. Come, let us go inside."
* * *
Jo sat on the couch between Drew and Fangula, and she did her best to answer the monsters' questions about the hospital and what had happened to her. She said that she didn't remember much about the 'accident', but her stay in the hospital wasn't too bad, aside from the food. Everyone but Frankenbeans was disgusted when she said that her first meal in the hospital, a plastic cup of vanilla pudding, looked like melted yellow crayons and tasted about the same.
When there was finally a lull in the conversation, Flabber suggested that he and some of the monsters find something that was safe for them all to eat…the monsters happened to like any variety of creepy-crawlies, but there was also some human food in the house. That left the three Beetleborgs and the two vampires, who sat quietly for a moment until Jo pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.
"Jo?" asked Fangula.
"Hmm?" she looked over at him.
"Something's wrong, isn't it? Is it your arm?" he asked, and she smiled.
"No, my arm's okay. I just…well, I fell asleep on the way over, and I had a dream that disturbed me. Without the painkillers…well, I haven't been getting much sleep."
"You never told me that," Drew said quietly. "You have to be careful with that, Jo. I don't want you getting addicted to that stuff."
She nodded, and sighed. Why had she told them all that? Was the lack of sleep affecting her mind, making her loopy? Well yeah, actually, it was, but still…Maybe she should tell them what the dreams were about, that they were all about him. But she didn't want them to worry…Still, weren't they already worried? Wait, that was the point, wasn't it? Aaarrgh!
Fangula had said something, but she had missed it. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"You dreamed about Vlad, didn't you? About the accident?" he repeated.
"Yes, and no." she sighed. "I dreamed about him coming for me, but I don't really remember the accident. I don't know…forget it, it doesn't matter."
Fangula and Drew shared a glance, and Roland excused himself to help Flabber and the others. Fangula shook his head. "I won't forget it, and it does matter. We'll help you get through this…right?" he looked over at Drew.
"Absolutely…look, I'm just gonna go…yeah." he jerked a thumb in the direction of the kitchen and excused himself, suddenly feeling like an intruder. Rosamund politely followed suit, and it was just the two of them.
"What was all that about?" mused Fangula.
"I don't know." Jo shrugged, and then gave vent to a great sigh and rubbed the cast over her forearm.
"What's wrong? Does it hurt?"
"A little bit; the percodan's wearing off. It's too soon to take another one, though. Sorry about the cross…I hope I didn't hurt your mother…" she looked away miserably, and he put an arm around her.
"She's fine, don't worry. I…"
"What?"
"I think she likes you." he told her, "If she didn't, she would have at least hissed at you."
"Yes, why do vampires do that?" she asked, "I've been wondering about that for years."
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Mostly to intimidate, though the only one I've ever seen her hiss at was me when I misbehaved!"
She eyed him coquettishly, and inquired, "What, were you a naughty little boy?"
"Depends on what you mean by naughty." He replied. "Neither of my parents was much for capital punishment, but my mother would hiss and gnash her fangs at me. I remember one time…when I was five years old, I put strawberry jam in her favorite perfume, just to see if it would improve the smell! I didn't like it, so I thought if I could fix it…" he trailed off, as she was laughing pretty hard by now, and he had no choice but to join in.
Finally, she said, "I did something similar, only I used liquid soap! Unlike you, I did get a spanking for that one!"
"Ooh," he groaned, "parents!"
"Ugh, totally!" she did a valley-girl impression of her room mate, Kate, and that set them off again. When they were quiet once more, another thought occurred to her. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"Well…you look the same as you did ten years ago, and if you're over three hundred…well, how do vampires age?"
"We don't. Or, rather, we age at the rate of a human until we reach our fathers' physical ages, then we stop. You see, when a human is transformed into a vampire, they stay as they are for all time, and if the vampire is a man, any offspring he has will grow older until they reach his 'changing age', then they will stop growing and remain thus. Both of my parents were vampires when I was born, so physically my father and I would have been the same age if he was still alive, while chronologically he would have had some years on me. I don't know how it is for dhampires, though…"
"Damn-what?" she asked.
"Dhampires." he corrected her gently, "They're human and vampire crossbreeds. As far as I know, there are only three living in the world today, but there may be more. At any rate, I don't know much about them."
"Oh." She frowned, suddenly unnerved. What would happen if they were to have children? But she didn't even know if they could get married, let alone have a baby. "Fangula?"
"Yes?"
"Are you sure you want to…you know, marry me?" she asked, almost in a whisper.
"Of course I'm sure." he said firmly.
"But…what about kids? You don't want half-breed kids…I don't even know if you want kids!"
"Jo…" he trailed off. He didn't know what to say.
"It's okay…I understand if you don't want to marry—"
"But I do!" he said quickly, "I'm not sure what sort of father I'd be, but if we ever did have children, I…well, I would do my best to be a good one. I'm just worried about what might happen to them when they grow up. But listen to me! Talking about how our children will be when we're just barely engaged!"
She smiled, and was about to reply when the others trooped in with bowls of party munchies and sodas. "To be continued," she whispered, kissing his left eye and making him blink.
"Soooo," drawled Mums, "did we miss anything interesting?"
"Stop it, Mums," Drew gave the mummy a gentle backhanded swat, "Leave them alone."
"Art Fortunes is on his way over," said Flabber, interrupting smoothly, "He says he has some sort of surprise."
* * *
Wolfgang began to bark as the red Dodge Intrepid turned into the driveway, crunching gravel. The cartoonist soon emerged from the car, garbed in paint-spattered overalls and combat boots, and carrying his sketchbook. Was his surprise a drawing? Not that it would be disappointing if it was; Flabber could make whatever it was real, and who knows what that could bring!
"Hi, Art!" Jo called from the porch, waving with her good arm. He clomped up the steps, and was pleasantly surprised when she kissed him on the cheek.
"Jo, you're looking much better." He said as she and Flabber drew him in.
"Thanks. What's that you got there?" she asked, pointing to his sketchbook.
"Oh, that! Well, it's actually for Count Fangula, but you may benefit from it, too." he grinned at her blank expression, "Come on, I'll show ya." he sat down beside her on the couch, then rested his sketchbook on his lap and opened it. Covering the first page were several different angle drawings of something that looked like a wristwatch. Fangula leaned forward from behind the couch and studied the drawings with equal parts of interest and confusion.
"I give up," the vampire said, "What is it?"
"Well, I don't have a name for it. But if it works, it will change your outward appearance to make you look human. It doesn't change you, it just puts up something like a hologram. I got the idea from some Saturday morning kid's show I caught while channel surfing, but I forget the name of it. The point is, you can go anywhere with Jo, without drawing any unwanted attention." He paused as the others murmured to themselves, then continued, "It's yours if you want it, all I need is for Flabber to make it real…if he's willing to do it."
"Are you kidding?" the phasm flung his arms wide, "Of course I'm willing to do it! It sounds great."
Fangula put a hand on Jo's shoulder, and she covered it with her own hand. "What do you think, Fang?" she asked.
"I think I owe him one." The vampire smiled.
"Okay, stand back!" Flabber pushed back his sleeves to reveal his azure forearms. Art left the pad on the couch and joined the others at the far side of the room. "From cold blood to warm, let this object take form!"
The sketches merged on the page to form a three-dimensional image, and the image rose into the air and headed straight for Fangula, who had the wit not to duck. The 'watch' wrapped itself around his wrist, and Flabber shrugged his shoulders. "Not one of my more creative spells, but what do you want for such short notice?"
Fangula removed his gloves looked at his hands, and they were still chalk white. "It didn't work." He said, sounding disappointed.
"Wait a minute," said Art, reaching for the device. He pressed a little red button on the side, and Fangula's image shivered for a moment. "There."
Fangula looked at his hands, and saw that they were still pale, but flesh-toned. He ran his tongue over his teeth and he could still feel his fangs. So, it did only change his appearance.
Jo stared at him. His hair no longer appeared spiky, and his face was only a shade lighter than her own. His eyes, which had been hazel before (except when he was angry), hadn't changed. His lips, while still a bit on the thin side, were no longer blue, but an extremely pale coral color. His cheeks seemed fuller. He looked completely human! She stared at his face for almost a full minute, then took his hand and pressed the red button, causing his image to revert back to normal. "That's okay for public places, but I think I prefer you this way." Then she turned to the cartoonist, and hugged him gratefully. "Thanks, Art!"