Ponyboy: I Miss You

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            The last thing I'd heard was the rumble of the snow rushing down on top of me and before I could open my mouth to scream, it whisked me away and buried me under. I don't know how long I blacked out, but all I know is when I woke-up, the first thing that hit me was a dizzy sensation. Then came the expected cold air. I was laying flat on my stomach and pieces of sharp ice were poking into my skin, mostly in the already bruised places due to mine and Steve's consistent fighting. I felt a twang in my entire right leg. I knew from my first aid class that something was broken, though what remained to be seen. Before I had gone under, glimpses of Steve, the compass, the map, and the camera fly into a distance. Now I knew I had gotten what I wanted. I wanted to get away from Steve. And here I was, away from him. Except I was all alone.

            I felt the weight of my backpack still on my back, although swung to the side a little. It was slightly open and I twisted my body to see if I could get something to eat out of it. As much as I twisted and turned, no results were positive. Finally, after a long while trying, my body was overcome with fatigue and although I tried fighting it, I fell asleep. It was probably one of the worst nightmares I'd ever had because I couldn't remember it. Except this time, no one was there to wake me up from the endless fears because this time, I was all alone.

            Over the course of the next hour, day, week, I have no idea, I slept and thought. That was all I did. I couldn't even eat because there was no way for me to get to my backpack. One moment, it was colder than the others; I lay there thinking about Two-Bit, Soda, and Darry. I tried to picture a typical Saturday morning at our house…

            "Wake-up! Come on, Pony get up!" Soda would gently shake me. I open my eyes slowly, shutting them at once when I find the lights are on.

            "It's Saturday, Soda. Can't I sleep in?" I groan as he throws the covers off of me.

            "No."

            "Well why not?"

            "Because me n' Darry have to get to work and you need to get up."

            "So go to work. I'll stay in bed."

            "No." Darry had come in by now, "Come on, Pony. Breakfast is getting cold."

            "Too tired," I mumble.

            "Well…if you insist." They share a quiet moment together, where I thought they'd left. But those thoughts vanish as I get picked up and carried to the living room where I am tickled practically to death. Every Saturday I'd think they left, but every Saturday, they'd get me.

            Two-Bit would come running in through the door, slamming it as always, "Hey guys! How's it going?"

            "Great!" my brothers would chirp laughing at me as I moan and groan, "Great. Just great." Two-bit laughs and digs into some chocolate cake and beer, sitting down for a good Mickey Mouse Marathon on TV. If Steve wasn't there already, he'd come in about now, looking either bitter about his dad beating him and his mom up again or happy for an unknown reason.

            "Hey Steve! Have some cake, pull up a chair, just not in front of Mickey!" Two-bit would say. Steve rolls his eyes and plops down on the couch. Soda is almost done with his shower by now. Steve grabs cake and looks at me, giving me his daily glare. I return it and sit on the couch away from him. When Soda finally gets out of the shower, and at least half dressed, he plops down in front of the TV for chocolate cake too. Sometimes, he won't have any because he'll be late. When Darry's ready, Soda would rush around the house, looking for shoes, a shirt, and his DX shirt. He pulls on his DX cap and head for the car. Two-bit and I are left with the dishes as always, even though I end up doing them. Then we go hang-out around the neighborhood and have fun for the day…

            I forced myself to stop thinking those thoughts as tears leaped to my eyes, threatening to push out from underneath my lids. "Ponyboy, stop being stupid. This is all a dream and soon, you'll be back at home under you warm covers and Soda's arm and you'll be forced to go to school." I kept telling myself. But even after a long while, I still didn't believe myself. I knew for a fact that I couldn't survive without at least water so I kept drinking the snow. I drank and drank until my stomach felt sicker than anything in the world. My stomach still rumbled and I still couldn't get to the backpack. Since I was so incredibly hungry, I knew I'd been under the snow for at least a day or maybe even two. If I didn't get to the backpack by day three, I'd have a slim chance of surviving this and I couldn't die.

            I couldn't die. What would Soda and Darry do if I died. I remembered what he'd said when they came to the hospital after I'd gotten back from Windrixville, "I thought we'd lost you, like we did mom and dad." And I couldn't let him feel that way ever again. I'd never forgive myself. And what would Soda do? Darry had said that he'd cried every night I was gone. Well what if they found out I was gone again? What would they do? "Stop it, Ponyboy. You'll be fine. Think positive." I scolded myself.

            Suddenly, I remembered the dream I'd had with Dally and Johnny in it the other night. They told me something bad was going to happen. And they were right. I thought it was just a dream, only now I believed otherwise. I remembered the look Steve gave me when we first woke-up and somehow, I felt that he had had a dream not too different from mine. Call it premonition, but I think it was a sign. "THIS is what they were warning us about!" I shouted, only because I knew no one could hear me anyway. From the looks of it, unless someone was near, no one would be able to hear me since I was about four feet under. I wanted to slam my head into the snow, but obviously couldn't. Another day went by and suddenly I knew I wasn't feeling so hot.

            My stomach ached badly with the feeling of starvation finally hitting me. The snow was making my lips numb and it was also making me sicker than anything in the world. "Steve…" I whispered. I needed him to find me and get me out of this hellhole. But before I could gather up any strength to call for him, a wave of blackness washed over me…