Troubled Times
Part 1
By: Silverstar
Hello again! *waves* I'm back again with a new story. This one centers around Phoebe: the hardships she went through while in New York and the struggles afterward. In this fic the Halliwells aren't witches, just regular sisters. Also, I have Phoebe getting involved with drugs, and since I don't know much about the subject myself, please bear with me. I might have a lot of it wrong, but please accept what I write. It's just for this story, ok? Now that the brief intro is done, I want to take this time to again thank everyone who read and reviewed my previous fics: Guardian fro Above and Lost Soul. This fic was written because of the confidence obtained through those reviewers and readers. ^__^
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed...*sad face*
WARNING: I've never really written a fic like this before, and it's very angsty. You have been warned.
**********
The lights were blaring, the music was loud, the guys were hot...I was in heaven. Sauntering into the bar in a tight leather mini skirt and a loose red tube top, I quickly took in my surroundings and sighed. I was in a New York club and I felt right at home. I started thinking of all the excitement and action ahead of me...not to mention the love and passion I might find. Why not? I was popular back in San Francisco. The guys here had to be interested too. Giving a cutie with a tattoo of a dragon on his shoulder a smile, I walked over to the bar and sat down.
"What can I get you?" I looked over to see the bar tender standing across the bar from me.
"I'll have a beer," I said and proceeded to pay as the man got me my drink. Only seconds after I received my beer and started drinking a hottie across the bar caught my eye. He was staring over at me with a grin on his face and I gave him a flirting smile back. Before I knew it he had made his way across the room and was sitting next to me. I found myself face to face with one of the hunkiest guys I had ever seen. As I stared up at his dark black hair, a little long around the face, sharp green eyes, and heart- melting smile, my voice caught in my throat.
"Hey," he said, tilting his beer up and taking a drink. I followed suit and after I set my beer back down my voice had returned.
"Hey," I replied while crossing my legs and giving him a smile.
"I'm James." I giggled at the serious tone of his name and he just looked at me with confusion. "What's so funny?" he asked and I just shook my head.
"I just didn't expect you to have such a serious name," I replied. "I mean, you're name's James, but you don't use a nickname like Jim or something of that sort?" He just smiled and nodded.
"I get that a lot, but I like the sound of my name. I think it makes me sound more distinguished and important." I nodded back with a smile, but inside my heart skipped a beat. This guy was a dream! And I had found him within the 1st week of moving to New York.
"Oh, sorry," I said after a few seconds. "I'm Phoebe."
"Phoebe..." I waited as James got a peculiar look on his face and then smiled. "I like it." I practically melted right then and there. After taking another drink of my beer I felt James' hand on mine. "Let's dance." It was more of a command then a question, but I didn't care. I let myself be dragged off to the dance floor and drank in James' sent as he pulled my body close to his. We danced, and danced, and danced...I'm not sure how long we were there, touching, hugging, swinging, but after what seemed like both eternity and seconds, we were back at the bar finishing up our drinks. I starred up at this man that I had only known for a few hours and knew that he'd change my life forever. We sat for a while, me in his lap, partly from being drunk and partly from the excitement. I'd never get away with this back at home...I was finally free. The next thing I knew it was 1:00 and I regretfully excused myself.
"I'm so sorry James, but I have to go. I need to get up early tomorrow...or today...to go to work." I jumped up off his lap and he stood up with me.
"Let me walk you home," he said and I just smiled.
"That's okay," I said and pulled out a piece of paper from my purse. "Here's my number and the address of where I work." He took the paper and gave me a look.
"You're a waitress?" I saw him lift his left eyebrow as he said this and I laughed.
"I know, I know," I replied and put my pen back into my purse. "I just moved here a little over a week ago and needed the money. I plan on changing jobs in a while." He just nodded and before I knew it his hands were on my hips and our lips were intertwined. When we pulled away he looked down at me with interest and I looked back up at him in the same way. We were both looking for something different, something dangerous, and something wild. We had found it in each other. As I walked out to my cab I couldn't help but look back at James, standing in the doorway of the club to watch me go. Feeling confident, I winked over in his direction and he returned the gesture. In seconds I was in a cab and on my way over to my apartment. I shared it with Cassie, a girl a few years older than me. I had known her from high school and we had agreed on sharing an apartment in New York once I had gotten out of San Francisco. Fortunately, she was hardly ever home so I had the place mostly to myself. Cassie was always over one of her boyfriends' apartments and warned me of her un-routine living habits. I was all for it. What was the point of living in New York if you didn't have a little fun?
"Here ya are lady," the driver said from the front seat and I gave him a twenty.
"Keep the change mister, I'm in a good mood," I said as I got out of the car.
"Thanks lady," he said, and with that he was gone and I was going upstairs to my apartment. As I rummaged through my purse for my keys and fumbled into the apartment I had the impulse to tell someone about the amazing guy I had just met. Unfortunately, Cassie wasn't home and I hadn't made any other friends yet except for a few girls at work. After getting undressed I went to jump into bed only to find Cassie's cat Katri sitting on my pillow.
"Hello Katri," I said in a drunken whisper and picked her up as I got into bed and set my alarm for six. She just purred as I pet her head and settled down next to me. She got neglected with Cassie always gone and enjoyed my company. "I met the most amazing man tonight Katri," I told her as my eyelids slowly closed. "His name is James..."
***
BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Uhhhh...Opening my eyes, I struggled to reach over and turn the alarm off. I was tired and I had a headache, but the memories of last night helped to wake me up enough to get out of bed and take a shower. As I got ready for work I couldn't help but feel a tingle of excitement run all the way down my spine. What if he called today? What if I saw him? By seven o'clock I was ready. After feeding the cat I grabbed my purse, a thermos of coffee, and I was on my way. As I walked out of my building and down the street the sun seemed brighter than it had all of my life. The people on the streets seemed nicer, the birds seemed like they were chirping louder, and the honks of the city cars seemed less frequent. Fifteen minutes later I came to the café where I had gotten a job and went in the back door. Things seemed busy, but I didn't care. I took off my coat to reveal black pants and a white collared shirt, my uniform. After putting my jacket and purse into my assigned locker I put my nametag on and checked in with the manager.
"Hey Marie," I said with a smile as I walked up to a round middle- aged lady with short brown hair that held wisps of gray.
"Hey Phoebe, cheerful this morning, aren't we?" I smiled at her mischievously before taking my assignment from her for the day. Monday through Friday I worked from seven fifteen till eleven and from twelve to three. Today I was working the back left corner of the café. With a look at the paper and a grin at Marie, I set off to my first customers with a smile.
Around four hours later Marie set me free, along with two other girls around my age working there. Jessica and Dana were there names. Jessica was tall with blond curly hair and wore a different shade of mascara every day. Dana was average height with long brown hair that she wore in tiny braids (Jamaica-ish). She was kind of quiet and cautious, but that girl had attitude. You didn't want her mad at you. As soon as Marie gave us the okay we stashed the name pins, grabbed our jackets, and headed out for lunch. On our way down the street Jessica jabbered to me about the new make-up she bought yesterday and Dana told us about her roommate's antics with her new boyfriend. By the time we got to the usual diner where we ate lunch every day they were both looking at me.
"Soooo..." Jessica said in my direction as we sat down in a booth. I just smiled at them secretly and then burst out laughing at their pain- stricken faces. They were dying to know what had happened last night.
"Well, I told you guys yesterday that I was going out last night..." I started and they both nodded.
"And you haven't stopped smiling all morning," Dana cut in. "So give us the details!" After we put in our orders with the waitress I proceeded to tell my friends the tale.
"Well, I went to that club you suggested yesterday Jess, and I have to tell you that you were right. There were hot guys everywhere!" She gave me a 'I hear ya' look and I continued. "I wasn't even there ten minutes when some gorgeous guy starts hitting on me! We danced almost all night, talked, and before I left...we kissed." My friends looked at me with excitement and I smiled back at them. I just couldn't stop smiling, I was so happy.
"What was his name?" Jessica asked and as the waitress set our food down I told them.
"His name was James," I said and all of us giggled. "I know, I had the same reaction to it, but he thought it made him sound distinguished and important." Both of them nodded. "Anyway, I gave him the address of the café and my phone number.
"Wow, I'm so happy for you Phoebe," Dana said with excitement and we continued to gossip about guys for the next half-hour. Before I knew it the time was five till and we were on our way back to the café. Around three fifteen I was finishing up with my last customers of the day. Dana had gone and Jessica was working till five. While I was in the back getting my stuff I heard Jessica call my name.
"Phoebe!" I turned around to see her rushing towards me with a goofy smile on her face.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I'm so glad I caught you," she said as she grabbed my arm and started dragging me into a corner. "There's a guy out there looking for you. He said his name was James!" My eyes widened at this news and Jessica just smiled.
"Th-thanks," I said, and in a minute Jessica had shoved me towards the kitchen door.
"See you Monday Phoebe!" I heard her call out as I emerged from the back I looked over to see James leaning against the front counter. When his eyes caught sight of me his smile widened and I rushed over to him.
"Hey," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Hey," I said back, and in a moment my hand was in his and we were out of there, walking down the streets of New York. I had never felt anything like this in my life. We hadn't even known each other for a day...but I felt connected to James...I was drawn to him and I couldn't stop myself...I didn't want to. I soon found myself at a little restaurant not far from my house. I had been wanting to try it out, but hadn't wanted to go in alone. Smiling to myself, I let James lead me to a small booth in the back and we sat down. The day wore on, but we stayed. We stayed and we talked...We talked about life...our pasts, our hopes for the future, the flaws of life, and the joys. I couldn't help but get caught up in his eyes as he told me about his dead parents and how he grew up with his Uncle and Aunt. James had moved to New York to gain independence and to learn more about himself. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do in life yet, but was working in a mechanic shop at the moment. He even had a motorcycle! I told him about my father leaving, the death of my mother, and then my grandmother. Every feeling about my sisters was revealed as I shared how I had always felt left out and how I wasn't liked much by Prue, my eldest sister. I drank in his understanding, and he mine. At the end of the evening I was convinced we were made for each other...soul mates.
"Phoebe..." I looked up at James and smiled at his smile. It was so contagious. "I know we've only known each other for a day...but I can feel the chemistry between us. Can't you?" I nodded and he went on. "I want to keep seeing you...you're...you're different, and I like that."
"I want to keep seeing you too," I answered. In a moment we had both leaned forward and our lips were interlocked. It wasn't till nine that we left the restaurant and headed towards James' apartment. Coincidently, it was only a few blocks from mine. As we got closer and closer I could feel myself shake with excitement. This guy was wild, and I loved him for it.
"Phoebe..." We were in his apartment and James was grinning down at me. I smiled up at him mischievously and then headed for the bedroom. He followed right behind me. That was the mot wonderful night of my life. Being with James...it was like nothing I had ever felt before. In the morning I woke in his embrace and it felt...right. I giggled as his fingers brushed softly over my stomach and turned to see him starring at me. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, and I believed him with every fiber of my being.
"What do you want to do today?" I asked, brushing my fingertips across his cheek. After a few minutes of silence he finally answered.
"Anything...as long as it's with you," he whispered in my ear and I melted again right then and there.
***
Two Weeks Later...
"Hey Katri," I called, and the cat jumped up onto my bed with me. "Hey, you've missed me, haven't you?" I cooed as she purred and I scratched her behind the ears. "I know, but...I've had the most amazing week of my life." I smiled down at the cat as she chased my finger back and forth across the bed and then rolled over for me to rub her stomach. "James is the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I haven't been home much...but when I'm with him I feel...free. We went for a ride on his motorcycle the other day through Central Park. It was great...the wind whipping though my hair...It was a wonderful feeling." Katri purred in response and I smiled. "Oh, you're wondering why I'm here and not out with this guy on a Friday night, huh? Well, I am really tired from the week's events...plus James had to go meet some friends. He promised he'd take me to meet them tomorrow."
"Meow." I moved my hand to scratch Katri behind her ears and she continued to purr.
"Yes, I promise I'll tell you all about it, but I need to get some sleep!" With that, I got under my bed covers and let Katri crawl in with me. "Goodnight Kitty," I whispered before turning off the lights and sinking into sleep...and my dreams of him.
The next morning I woke up around noon fully rested and ready for the night ahead of me. I was going to meet all of James' friends! After eating some leftover pizza for lunch/breakfast I jumped in the shower and proceeded to get ready. For the night, I chose some tight-skinned leather pants and a tight black shirt that tied around the neck. At around four I sat down to put make-up on and jumped in surprise when Cassie came through the door.
"Hey Phoebe," she called out and went over to raid the refrigerator.
"Hey," I said, and continued to put on the blue eye shadow that Jessica had lent me. A moment later Cassie was standing in front of me eating the rest of the pizza and giving me a quizzical look.
"Where ya going?" she asked and I smiled.
"A date," I replied and she grinned.
"I should've known you'd waist no time. When'd you meet him?"
"A few weeks ago at a club," I answered and sat back to talk with Cassie. I proceeded to tell her all about James and what was going on with us. At the end Cassie jumped up and engulfed me in a hug.
"You've grown up so much," she faked-cried and I poked her in the stomach. "Hey!" I jumped up just in time to dodge her next leaping attack and sped around the apartment. I finally found refuge in holding Katri up.
"Don't kill me or I'll never feed your cat again!" This got her attention and she pulled Katri out of my grasp. Smiling, I went to finish my make-up while Cassie played with her kitty. Around five there was a knock at the door and Cassie answered it.
"Oh...Hi, you must be James," she said with a smile and I saw James look at her with confusion for a moment.
"Oh, you must be Cassie, nice to meet you," he said and she nodded.
"Are you going to invite him in?" I asked as I came into James' eyesight and saw his face relax at the sight of me.
"Oh, of course, come in," Cassie said and she shut the door behind him. He immediately came over towards me, took my hands in his, and looked me over.
"You look beautiful," he said and I leaned up to be rewarded with a kiss. I sighed as he slid his tongue into my mouth but forced myself to stop before getting carried away. When we separated I looked him up and down and smiled at what I saw. He had on black jeans and a black shirt that was unbuttoned halfway showing off his muscular chest. We really were a couple, dressed all in black and all.
"We should go," I stated and smiled over at Cassie as James lead me out the apartment. I saw her wink at me before I got through the door.
I held onto James' hand tightly as we walked down the street and into a little diner for a quick dinner. Once we were seated we quickly ordered and I could tell James was thinking hard.
"Phoebe," he finally said and I smiled at his voice. "I'm glad I'm taking you to meet my friends. I think you'll like them." I nodded at his statement, and laughed inwardly at how profound he had made it sound. Still, I was excited to meet another part of his life that was foreign to me. James had already met Jessica, Dana, Cassie, and even my boss Marie. I hadn't met any of his friends yet. We quickly ate and after paying James took my hand and we walked down the street towards one of the numerous clubs. I loved the way he held my hand...It was firm and strong...like I was his and no one else's. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't mind the fast pace in which he was leading me and I didn't care about the secluded area that the club was in...a little ally-way with a big guard standing out side.
"Hey," James said, and the guard nodded, letting us both in. We walked into a small club with a bar, some tables, and a dance floor. There was smoke everywhere, from cigarettes and from a smoke machine, and lights were bouncing off the walls in every which way. The place looked dangerous...but I lived for danger and excitement. Besides, I was with James, and he wouldn't let anything happen to me.
"Hey! Jimmy!" I looked up in surprise as a crowd of men started waving us over. I shot a questioning look at James, but he didn't notice and led me over to the group.
"Hey man," James said while sitting down in a chair and pulling me to sit on top of him. Okay, so his friends called him Jimmy. Maybe he just wanted to have a special name with me. Clearing my head, I sat on my boyfriend's lap and leaned back on him. "Hey, Phoebe, this is the gang," he told me and I smiled at them. "Frank, how about some drinks?" he said and in a moment a beer was in my hand.
"Drink up little lady," Frank said with a grin and I grinned back at him. I had to stay cool for James' sake. I didn't want to disappoint him or have his friends make fun of him over me. I watched as James downed the whole beer along with the rest of his friends. Hey, what the hell, and I quickly downed mine to find another in my hand. After a few more beers one of the guys suggested that we dance. James led me onto the dance floor and I at once felt right at home in his arms.
"James..." I whispered and he looked down at me with shock on his face.
"What did you call me?" he asked, anger in his eyes. I looked at him with confusion and winced as his hand squeezed tighter on my arm. "It's Jim," he continued and then let go of me as one of his friends called out to him. "I gotta go talk with this guy," he told me gruffly and looked around. "Dance with Matt." I looked at James...or Jim...in shock, but Matt was already next to me with his arms wrapped around my middle. I had eyes only for James...but Matt was kind of cute and my boyfriend was freaking me out a little. I danced for a while with Matt, but when he leaned down and started kissing me on the neck I jumped back. I looked up at him in shock only to find a confused look on his face. In a minute his arms were wrapped around me again and this time they held onto me firmly.
"What are you doing?!" I said with as much attitude as I could muster and he just grinned down at me. "You're Jim's girl now, right?" he asked and I slowly nodded. "You'll get use to it." And with that we started dancing again. His hold on me was so tight that I couldn't resist. When he started putting his hand up my shirt I almost screamed with disgust, but at that moment James came sauntering over and pulled me towards him.
"Come on baby," he whispered and started leading me towards the back. "Did you have fun with Matt?" I only starred at him and quickly downed another beer as it was placed into my hand. When we got into the back James sat me on a table and put his arms on my shoulders. "Do you like my friends?" he asked, and I starred at him in shock.
"James, your friend Matt had his hands up my shirt!" I told him in fury, but he didn't seemed surprised.
"Why do you keep calling me James?" he asked and slid his hand up to my throat. "My name is Jim." My heart started to pound as I looked at my boyfriend in fear...His muscular hand flexed as he gripped my vulnerable neck and I knew I was at his mercy. Slowly, I nodded, and his hand was withdrawn. "Now, let's have some fun." At this point I was very confused, but the beers were sinking in, so I allowed myself to be led over to a table and with every coax from Jim I downed another and another. I'm not sure what happened after that, but the next thing I knew I was at Jim's place lying on the bed. He had some sort of needle...wait, he had been using it all night...I laid there in silence and watched as he sat down next to me and lifted my arm up.
"Do you love me baby," he asked and I nodded. "Do you trust me?" I again nodded. Before I knew it I felt the needle slide into my arm and the liquid within went flowing throughout my body. I don't know what happened next, but I was on a major high and it felt great...it made me feel free....
I awoke to find James...no, Jim...I don't know...he was gone. Last night...it was a blur. I wasn't sure what had happened, but I had been with James...I must've been safe. When I tried to get out of bed I collapsed on the floor in dizziness...Uhh...I felt sick. Forcing myself up, I raced for the bathroom to vomit and then turned on the shower. After a steaming hot shower I emerged feeling a little better, but my head was pounding. I quickly found aspirin in a cabinet, took it, and then got dressed. After a quick look around I struggled outside. Too weak and dizzy to walk, I called a cab and was finally home. Cassie, to no surprise, was gone, but had left a note this time.
Phoebe,
I hope you had a great time last night. James sure is a hunk. I'll be gone with friends for the next week. We're going down to Ocean City. Please feed Katri and I'll bring you back a souvenir.
Thanx,
Cassie
Smiling a little to myself at the flightiness of my friend, I sat down and tried to clear my head. What had happened? Try as I might, I couldn't connect the memories or the facts. I'd wait for James to come to me.
***
Two Weeks Later...
Oh my God, I needed it, I needed it! Where was he?! Sighing with frustration, I paced around the apartment. I was just about to call him when I heard a knock at the door. Smiling, I rushed over and opened it to find Jim. Lately, he had been Jim more and more. The hot, respectable, intelligent James had turned into the hot, wild, unpredictable, beer- loving, druggie Jim. I was caught up in a steaming kiss full of passion before I shut the door and we headed towards the club.
"Do you have it?" I asked, tense and worried.
"Of course baby," he replied. "I am in charge of our whole underground operation. Don't you remember? I store all the stuff at the garage where I work. It was sent over to Frank's club this morning." I sighed in relief, knowing that I'd get some tonight. The craving was immense and horrific. When we finally got to the club I loaded up on beers and played around with some of the guys. Jim finally called me over and we went into the back together.
"Do you have it?" I asked eagerly and he nodded.
"Here we are," he said, and held out a needle. Slowly, he injected some into me and then some into him. I sighed as the high that came with the drugs went throughout my body and rushed around to my head. The night was wild, just like every night had been since...since...well, I couldn't remember any more. The time went by so slow...so fast...it was all a blur. All I knew is that I needed Jim, just like I needed this stuff. Sometimes James would emerge from the man I called my boyfriend. We'd go riding on his motorcycle or strolling through the crowded seats. Sometimes he'd take me to nice restaurants. Most of the time, I looked at Jim, but I still smiled. He gave me what I needed to survive. I wasn't sure what kind of drugs it was, but I had tried going without it and I couldn't. This stuff helped me to live, it helped me to survive. I needed Jim, and I couldn't keep myself away from him.
I woke to find myself lying next to Jim in his bed. His arm was around me and his lips were resting on my neck. Looking over to the clock, I saw that it was quarter of seven. I had to hurry if I wanted to make it to work. Quickly slipping out from under Jim, I stumbled over and threw myself into the shower for five minutes. Finding the extra set of work clothes that I kept here, I put them on and went over to my boyfriend.
"I've got to go," I whispered and smiled when he opened his eyes.
"You want me to walk you?" he asked and I kissed him on the forehead. This was James I was talking to.
"No James, I'll be okay if I take a taxi." And with that, I left the apartment and headed for work. James' switch in personalities didn't bother me too much. I could deal with it. Besides, I needed him.
I got to work on time and struggled throughout the morning to concentrate. I had a head-throbbing headache and felt like I would vomit at any moment. But, I made it through and was about to collapse when Dana came up to me.
"C'mon Phoebe, came out to lunch with us," she said. I was too weak to refuse, even knowing the questions that would come if I went out to lunch with my friends.
"Okay, let me get my jacket," I answered and met my friends at the back door. We slowly made our way to the diner we always ate at and sat down in our usual booth.
"Phoebe..." I looked across the booth at Jessica and to my right at Dana. "What's going on girl?" Jessica asked and I shook my head.
"It's nothing. I just went out with James last night and had a little too much to drink." I saw my friends give each other looks and I sighed in exasperation. "I'm fine you guys! You don't have anything to worry about. Both of you have met James. Do you think he would let anything happen to me?" I saw their looks of worry slowly vanish and I smiled. "Now, why don't you tell us about your new guy Jessica?" She looked at me in shock and I pointed at her bracelet. "You haven't taken that new bracelet off all week. Who gave it to you?" She just smiled and proceeded to tell Dana and I about her new guy Jordan.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Hello again! *waves* I'm back again with a new story. This one centers around Phoebe: the hardships she went through while in New York and the struggles afterward. In this fic the Halliwells aren't witches, just regular sisters. Also, I have Phoebe getting involved with drugs, and since I don't know much about the subject myself, please bear with me. I might have a lot of it wrong, but please accept what I write. It's just for this story, ok? Now that the brief intro is done, I want to take this time to again thank everyone who read and reviewed my previous fics: Guardian fro Above and Lost Soul. This fic was written because of the confidence obtained through those reviewers and readers. ^__^
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed...*sad face*
WARNING: I've never really written a fic like this before, and it's very angsty. You have been warned.
**********
The lights were blaring, the music was loud, the guys were hot...I was in heaven. Sauntering into the bar in a tight leather mini skirt and a loose red tube top, I quickly took in my surroundings and sighed. I was in a New York club and I felt right at home. I started thinking of all the excitement and action ahead of me...not to mention the love and passion I might find. Why not? I was popular back in San Francisco. The guys here had to be interested too. Giving a cutie with a tattoo of a dragon on his shoulder a smile, I walked over to the bar and sat down.
"What can I get you?" I looked over to see the bar tender standing across the bar from me.
"I'll have a beer," I said and proceeded to pay as the man got me my drink. Only seconds after I received my beer and started drinking a hottie across the bar caught my eye. He was staring over at me with a grin on his face and I gave him a flirting smile back. Before I knew it he had made his way across the room and was sitting next to me. I found myself face to face with one of the hunkiest guys I had ever seen. As I stared up at his dark black hair, a little long around the face, sharp green eyes, and heart- melting smile, my voice caught in my throat.
"Hey," he said, tilting his beer up and taking a drink. I followed suit and after I set my beer back down my voice had returned.
"Hey," I replied while crossing my legs and giving him a smile.
"I'm James." I giggled at the serious tone of his name and he just looked at me with confusion. "What's so funny?" he asked and I just shook my head.
"I just didn't expect you to have such a serious name," I replied. "I mean, you're name's James, but you don't use a nickname like Jim or something of that sort?" He just smiled and nodded.
"I get that a lot, but I like the sound of my name. I think it makes me sound more distinguished and important." I nodded back with a smile, but inside my heart skipped a beat. This guy was a dream! And I had found him within the 1st week of moving to New York.
"Oh, sorry," I said after a few seconds. "I'm Phoebe."
"Phoebe..." I waited as James got a peculiar look on his face and then smiled. "I like it." I practically melted right then and there. After taking another drink of my beer I felt James' hand on mine. "Let's dance." It was more of a command then a question, but I didn't care. I let myself be dragged off to the dance floor and drank in James' sent as he pulled my body close to his. We danced, and danced, and danced...I'm not sure how long we were there, touching, hugging, swinging, but after what seemed like both eternity and seconds, we were back at the bar finishing up our drinks. I starred up at this man that I had only known for a few hours and knew that he'd change my life forever. We sat for a while, me in his lap, partly from being drunk and partly from the excitement. I'd never get away with this back at home...I was finally free. The next thing I knew it was 1:00 and I regretfully excused myself.
"I'm so sorry James, but I have to go. I need to get up early tomorrow...or today...to go to work." I jumped up off his lap and he stood up with me.
"Let me walk you home," he said and I just smiled.
"That's okay," I said and pulled out a piece of paper from my purse. "Here's my number and the address of where I work." He took the paper and gave me a look.
"You're a waitress?" I saw him lift his left eyebrow as he said this and I laughed.
"I know, I know," I replied and put my pen back into my purse. "I just moved here a little over a week ago and needed the money. I plan on changing jobs in a while." He just nodded and before I knew it his hands were on my hips and our lips were intertwined. When we pulled away he looked down at me with interest and I looked back up at him in the same way. We were both looking for something different, something dangerous, and something wild. We had found it in each other. As I walked out to my cab I couldn't help but look back at James, standing in the doorway of the club to watch me go. Feeling confident, I winked over in his direction and he returned the gesture. In seconds I was in a cab and on my way over to my apartment. I shared it with Cassie, a girl a few years older than me. I had known her from high school and we had agreed on sharing an apartment in New York once I had gotten out of San Francisco. Fortunately, she was hardly ever home so I had the place mostly to myself. Cassie was always over one of her boyfriends' apartments and warned me of her un-routine living habits. I was all for it. What was the point of living in New York if you didn't have a little fun?
"Here ya are lady," the driver said from the front seat and I gave him a twenty.
"Keep the change mister, I'm in a good mood," I said as I got out of the car.
"Thanks lady," he said, and with that he was gone and I was going upstairs to my apartment. As I rummaged through my purse for my keys and fumbled into the apartment I had the impulse to tell someone about the amazing guy I had just met. Unfortunately, Cassie wasn't home and I hadn't made any other friends yet except for a few girls at work. After getting undressed I went to jump into bed only to find Cassie's cat Katri sitting on my pillow.
"Hello Katri," I said in a drunken whisper and picked her up as I got into bed and set my alarm for six. She just purred as I pet her head and settled down next to me. She got neglected with Cassie always gone and enjoyed my company. "I met the most amazing man tonight Katri," I told her as my eyelids slowly closed. "His name is James..."
***
BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Uhhhh...Opening my eyes, I struggled to reach over and turn the alarm off. I was tired and I had a headache, but the memories of last night helped to wake me up enough to get out of bed and take a shower. As I got ready for work I couldn't help but feel a tingle of excitement run all the way down my spine. What if he called today? What if I saw him? By seven o'clock I was ready. After feeding the cat I grabbed my purse, a thermos of coffee, and I was on my way. As I walked out of my building and down the street the sun seemed brighter than it had all of my life. The people on the streets seemed nicer, the birds seemed like they were chirping louder, and the honks of the city cars seemed less frequent. Fifteen minutes later I came to the café where I had gotten a job and went in the back door. Things seemed busy, but I didn't care. I took off my coat to reveal black pants and a white collared shirt, my uniform. After putting my jacket and purse into my assigned locker I put my nametag on and checked in with the manager.
"Hey Marie," I said with a smile as I walked up to a round middle- aged lady with short brown hair that held wisps of gray.
"Hey Phoebe, cheerful this morning, aren't we?" I smiled at her mischievously before taking my assignment from her for the day. Monday through Friday I worked from seven fifteen till eleven and from twelve to three. Today I was working the back left corner of the café. With a look at the paper and a grin at Marie, I set off to my first customers with a smile.
Around four hours later Marie set me free, along with two other girls around my age working there. Jessica and Dana were there names. Jessica was tall with blond curly hair and wore a different shade of mascara every day. Dana was average height with long brown hair that she wore in tiny braids (Jamaica-ish). She was kind of quiet and cautious, but that girl had attitude. You didn't want her mad at you. As soon as Marie gave us the okay we stashed the name pins, grabbed our jackets, and headed out for lunch. On our way down the street Jessica jabbered to me about the new make-up she bought yesterday and Dana told us about her roommate's antics with her new boyfriend. By the time we got to the usual diner where we ate lunch every day they were both looking at me.
"Soooo..." Jessica said in my direction as we sat down in a booth. I just smiled at them secretly and then burst out laughing at their pain- stricken faces. They were dying to know what had happened last night.
"Well, I told you guys yesterday that I was going out last night..." I started and they both nodded.
"And you haven't stopped smiling all morning," Dana cut in. "So give us the details!" After we put in our orders with the waitress I proceeded to tell my friends the tale.
"Well, I went to that club you suggested yesterday Jess, and I have to tell you that you were right. There were hot guys everywhere!" She gave me a 'I hear ya' look and I continued. "I wasn't even there ten minutes when some gorgeous guy starts hitting on me! We danced almost all night, talked, and before I left...we kissed." My friends looked at me with excitement and I smiled back at them. I just couldn't stop smiling, I was so happy.
"What was his name?" Jessica asked and as the waitress set our food down I told them.
"His name was James," I said and all of us giggled. "I know, I had the same reaction to it, but he thought it made him sound distinguished and important." Both of them nodded. "Anyway, I gave him the address of the café and my phone number.
"Wow, I'm so happy for you Phoebe," Dana said with excitement and we continued to gossip about guys for the next half-hour. Before I knew it the time was five till and we were on our way back to the café. Around three fifteen I was finishing up with my last customers of the day. Dana had gone and Jessica was working till five. While I was in the back getting my stuff I heard Jessica call my name.
"Phoebe!" I turned around to see her rushing towards me with a goofy smile on her face.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I'm so glad I caught you," she said as she grabbed my arm and started dragging me into a corner. "There's a guy out there looking for you. He said his name was James!" My eyes widened at this news and Jessica just smiled.
"Th-thanks," I said, and in a minute Jessica had shoved me towards the kitchen door.
"See you Monday Phoebe!" I heard her call out as I emerged from the back I looked over to see James leaning against the front counter. When his eyes caught sight of me his smile widened and I rushed over to him.
"Hey," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Hey," I said back, and in a moment my hand was in his and we were out of there, walking down the streets of New York. I had never felt anything like this in my life. We hadn't even known each other for a day...but I felt connected to James...I was drawn to him and I couldn't stop myself...I didn't want to. I soon found myself at a little restaurant not far from my house. I had been wanting to try it out, but hadn't wanted to go in alone. Smiling to myself, I let James lead me to a small booth in the back and we sat down. The day wore on, but we stayed. We stayed and we talked...We talked about life...our pasts, our hopes for the future, the flaws of life, and the joys. I couldn't help but get caught up in his eyes as he told me about his dead parents and how he grew up with his Uncle and Aunt. James had moved to New York to gain independence and to learn more about himself. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do in life yet, but was working in a mechanic shop at the moment. He even had a motorcycle! I told him about my father leaving, the death of my mother, and then my grandmother. Every feeling about my sisters was revealed as I shared how I had always felt left out and how I wasn't liked much by Prue, my eldest sister. I drank in his understanding, and he mine. At the end of the evening I was convinced we were made for each other...soul mates.
"Phoebe..." I looked up at James and smiled at his smile. It was so contagious. "I know we've only known each other for a day...but I can feel the chemistry between us. Can't you?" I nodded and he went on. "I want to keep seeing you...you're...you're different, and I like that."
"I want to keep seeing you too," I answered. In a moment we had both leaned forward and our lips were interlocked. It wasn't till nine that we left the restaurant and headed towards James' apartment. Coincidently, it was only a few blocks from mine. As we got closer and closer I could feel myself shake with excitement. This guy was wild, and I loved him for it.
"Phoebe..." We were in his apartment and James was grinning down at me. I smiled up at him mischievously and then headed for the bedroom. He followed right behind me. That was the mot wonderful night of my life. Being with James...it was like nothing I had ever felt before. In the morning I woke in his embrace and it felt...right. I giggled as his fingers brushed softly over my stomach and turned to see him starring at me. "You are so beautiful," he whispered, and I believed him with every fiber of my being.
"What do you want to do today?" I asked, brushing my fingertips across his cheek. After a few minutes of silence he finally answered.
"Anything...as long as it's with you," he whispered in my ear and I melted again right then and there.
***
Two Weeks Later...
"Hey Katri," I called, and the cat jumped up onto my bed with me. "Hey, you've missed me, haven't you?" I cooed as she purred and I scratched her behind the ears. "I know, but...I've had the most amazing week of my life." I smiled down at the cat as she chased my finger back and forth across the bed and then rolled over for me to rub her stomach. "James is the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I haven't been home much...but when I'm with him I feel...free. We went for a ride on his motorcycle the other day through Central Park. It was great...the wind whipping though my hair...It was a wonderful feeling." Katri purred in response and I smiled. "Oh, you're wondering why I'm here and not out with this guy on a Friday night, huh? Well, I am really tired from the week's events...plus James had to go meet some friends. He promised he'd take me to meet them tomorrow."
"Meow." I moved my hand to scratch Katri behind her ears and she continued to purr.
"Yes, I promise I'll tell you all about it, but I need to get some sleep!" With that, I got under my bed covers and let Katri crawl in with me. "Goodnight Kitty," I whispered before turning off the lights and sinking into sleep...and my dreams of him.
The next morning I woke up around noon fully rested and ready for the night ahead of me. I was going to meet all of James' friends! After eating some leftover pizza for lunch/breakfast I jumped in the shower and proceeded to get ready. For the night, I chose some tight-skinned leather pants and a tight black shirt that tied around the neck. At around four I sat down to put make-up on and jumped in surprise when Cassie came through the door.
"Hey Phoebe," she called out and went over to raid the refrigerator.
"Hey," I said, and continued to put on the blue eye shadow that Jessica had lent me. A moment later Cassie was standing in front of me eating the rest of the pizza and giving me a quizzical look.
"Where ya going?" she asked and I smiled.
"A date," I replied and she grinned.
"I should've known you'd waist no time. When'd you meet him?"
"A few weeks ago at a club," I answered and sat back to talk with Cassie. I proceeded to tell her all about James and what was going on with us. At the end Cassie jumped up and engulfed me in a hug.
"You've grown up so much," she faked-cried and I poked her in the stomach. "Hey!" I jumped up just in time to dodge her next leaping attack and sped around the apartment. I finally found refuge in holding Katri up.
"Don't kill me or I'll never feed your cat again!" This got her attention and she pulled Katri out of my grasp. Smiling, I went to finish my make-up while Cassie played with her kitty. Around five there was a knock at the door and Cassie answered it.
"Oh...Hi, you must be James," she said with a smile and I saw James look at her with confusion for a moment.
"Oh, you must be Cassie, nice to meet you," he said and she nodded.
"Are you going to invite him in?" I asked as I came into James' eyesight and saw his face relax at the sight of me.
"Oh, of course, come in," Cassie said and she shut the door behind him. He immediately came over towards me, took my hands in his, and looked me over.
"You look beautiful," he said and I leaned up to be rewarded with a kiss. I sighed as he slid his tongue into my mouth but forced myself to stop before getting carried away. When we separated I looked him up and down and smiled at what I saw. He had on black jeans and a black shirt that was unbuttoned halfway showing off his muscular chest. We really were a couple, dressed all in black and all.
"We should go," I stated and smiled over at Cassie as James lead me out the apartment. I saw her wink at me before I got through the door.
I held onto James' hand tightly as we walked down the street and into a little diner for a quick dinner. Once we were seated we quickly ordered and I could tell James was thinking hard.
"Phoebe," he finally said and I smiled at his voice. "I'm glad I'm taking you to meet my friends. I think you'll like them." I nodded at his statement, and laughed inwardly at how profound he had made it sound. Still, I was excited to meet another part of his life that was foreign to me. James had already met Jessica, Dana, Cassie, and even my boss Marie. I hadn't met any of his friends yet. We quickly ate and after paying James took my hand and we walked down the street towards one of the numerous clubs. I loved the way he held my hand...It was firm and strong...like I was his and no one else's. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't mind the fast pace in which he was leading me and I didn't care about the secluded area that the club was in...a little ally-way with a big guard standing out side.
"Hey," James said, and the guard nodded, letting us both in. We walked into a small club with a bar, some tables, and a dance floor. There was smoke everywhere, from cigarettes and from a smoke machine, and lights were bouncing off the walls in every which way. The place looked dangerous...but I lived for danger and excitement. Besides, I was with James, and he wouldn't let anything happen to me.
"Hey! Jimmy!" I looked up in surprise as a crowd of men started waving us over. I shot a questioning look at James, but he didn't notice and led me over to the group.
"Hey man," James said while sitting down in a chair and pulling me to sit on top of him. Okay, so his friends called him Jimmy. Maybe he just wanted to have a special name with me. Clearing my head, I sat on my boyfriend's lap and leaned back on him. "Hey, Phoebe, this is the gang," he told me and I smiled at them. "Frank, how about some drinks?" he said and in a moment a beer was in my hand.
"Drink up little lady," Frank said with a grin and I grinned back at him. I had to stay cool for James' sake. I didn't want to disappoint him or have his friends make fun of him over me. I watched as James downed the whole beer along with the rest of his friends. Hey, what the hell, and I quickly downed mine to find another in my hand. After a few more beers one of the guys suggested that we dance. James led me onto the dance floor and I at once felt right at home in his arms.
"James..." I whispered and he looked down at me with shock on his face.
"What did you call me?" he asked, anger in his eyes. I looked at him with confusion and winced as his hand squeezed tighter on my arm. "It's Jim," he continued and then let go of me as one of his friends called out to him. "I gotta go talk with this guy," he told me gruffly and looked around. "Dance with Matt." I looked at James...or Jim...in shock, but Matt was already next to me with his arms wrapped around my middle. I had eyes only for James...but Matt was kind of cute and my boyfriend was freaking me out a little. I danced for a while with Matt, but when he leaned down and started kissing me on the neck I jumped back. I looked up at him in shock only to find a confused look on his face. In a minute his arms were wrapped around me again and this time they held onto me firmly.
"What are you doing?!" I said with as much attitude as I could muster and he just grinned down at me. "You're Jim's girl now, right?" he asked and I slowly nodded. "You'll get use to it." And with that we started dancing again. His hold on me was so tight that I couldn't resist. When he started putting his hand up my shirt I almost screamed with disgust, but at that moment James came sauntering over and pulled me towards him.
"Come on baby," he whispered and started leading me towards the back. "Did you have fun with Matt?" I only starred at him and quickly downed another beer as it was placed into my hand. When we got into the back James sat me on a table and put his arms on my shoulders. "Do you like my friends?" he asked, and I starred at him in shock.
"James, your friend Matt had his hands up my shirt!" I told him in fury, but he didn't seemed surprised.
"Why do you keep calling me James?" he asked and slid his hand up to my throat. "My name is Jim." My heart started to pound as I looked at my boyfriend in fear...His muscular hand flexed as he gripped my vulnerable neck and I knew I was at his mercy. Slowly, I nodded, and his hand was withdrawn. "Now, let's have some fun." At this point I was very confused, but the beers were sinking in, so I allowed myself to be led over to a table and with every coax from Jim I downed another and another. I'm not sure what happened after that, but the next thing I knew I was at Jim's place lying on the bed. He had some sort of needle...wait, he had been using it all night...I laid there in silence and watched as he sat down next to me and lifted my arm up.
"Do you love me baby," he asked and I nodded. "Do you trust me?" I again nodded. Before I knew it I felt the needle slide into my arm and the liquid within went flowing throughout my body. I don't know what happened next, but I was on a major high and it felt great...it made me feel free....
I awoke to find James...no, Jim...I don't know...he was gone. Last night...it was a blur. I wasn't sure what had happened, but I had been with James...I must've been safe. When I tried to get out of bed I collapsed on the floor in dizziness...Uhh...I felt sick. Forcing myself up, I raced for the bathroom to vomit and then turned on the shower. After a steaming hot shower I emerged feeling a little better, but my head was pounding. I quickly found aspirin in a cabinet, took it, and then got dressed. After a quick look around I struggled outside. Too weak and dizzy to walk, I called a cab and was finally home. Cassie, to no surprise, was gone, but had left a note this time.
Phoebe,
I hope you had a great time last night. James sure is a hunk. I'll be gone with friends for the next week. We're going down to Ocean City. Please feed Katri and I'll bring you back a souvenir.
Thanx,
Cassie
Smiling a little to myself at the flightiness of my friend, I sat down and tried to clear my head. What had happened? Try as I might, I couldn't connect the memories or the facts. I'd wait for James to come to me.
***
Two Weeks Later...
Oh my God, I needed it, I needed it! Where was he?! Sighing with frustration, I paced around the apartment. I was just about to call him when I heard a knock at the door. Smiling, I rushed over and opened it to find Jim. Lately, he had been Jim more and more. The hot, respectable, intelligent James had turned into the hot, wild, unpredictable, beer- loving, druggie Jim. I was caught up in a steaming kiss full of passion before I shut the door and we headed towards the club.
"Do you have it?" I asked, tense and worried.
"Of course baby," he replied. "I am in charge of our whole underground operation. Don't you remember? I store all the stuff at the garage where I work. It was sent over to Frank's club this morning." I sighed in relief, knowing that I'd get some tonight. The craving was immense and horrific. When we finally got to the club I loaded up on beers and played around with some of the guys. Jim finally called me over and we went into the back together.
"Do you have it?" I asked eagerly and he nodded.
"Here we are," he said, and held out a needle. Slowly, he injected some into me and then some into him. I sighed as the high that came with the drugs went throughout my body and rushed around to my head. The night was wild, just like every night had been since...since...well, I couldn't remember any more. The time went by so slow...so fast...it was all a blur. All I knew is that I needed Jim, just like I needed this stuff. Sometimes James would emerge from the man I called my boyfriend. We'd go riding on his motorcycle or strolling through the crowded seats. Sometimes he'd take me to nice restaurants. Most of the time, I looked at Jim, but I still smiled. He gave me what I needed to survive. I wasn't sure what kind of drugs it was, but I had tried going without it and I couldn't. This stuff helped me to live, it helped me to survive. I needed Jim, and I couldn't keep myself away from him.
I woke to find myself lying next to Jim in his bed. His arm was around me and his lips were resting on my neck. Looking over to the clock, I saw that it was quarter of seven. I had to hurry if I wanted to make it to work. Quickly slipping out from under Jim, I stumbled over and threw myself into the shower for five minutes. Finding the extra set of work clothes that I kept here, I put them on and went over to my boyfriend.
"I've got to go," I whispered and smiled when he opened his eyes.
"You want me to walk you?" he asked and I kissed him on the forehead. This was James I was talking to.
"No James, I'll be okay if I take a taxi." And with that, I left the apartment and headed for work. James' switch in personalities didn't bother me too much. I could deal with it. Besides, I needed him.
I got to work on time and struggled throughout the morning to concentrate. I had a head-throbbing headache and felt like I would vomit at any moment. But, I made it through and was about to collapse when Dana came up to me.
"C'mon Phoebe, came out to lunch with us," she said. I was too weak to refuse, even knowing the questions that would come if I went out to lunch with my friends.
"Okay, let me get my jacket," I answered and met my friends at the back door. We slowly made our way to the diner we always ate at and sat down in our usual booth.
"Phoebe..." I looked across the booth at Jessica and to my right at Dana. "What's going on girl?" Jessica asked and I shook my head.
"It's nothing. I just went out with James last night and had a little too much to drink." I saw my friends give each other looks and I sighed in exasperation. "I'm fine you guys! You don't have anything to worry about. Both of you have met James. Do you think he would let anything happen to me?" I saw their looks of worry slowly vanish and I smiled. "Now, why don't you tell us about your new guy Jessica?" She looked at me in shock and I pointed at her bracelet. "You haven't taken that new bracelet off all week. Who gave it to you?" She just smiled and proceeded to tell Dana and I about her new guy Jordan.
TO BE CONTINUED...