Chapter 7 - Meet the Parents
"Dad, I so do not want to meet this loser!"
"Buffy, he is going to be your brother in law you're going to have to meet him sooner or later." Wesley said.
"But I was gonna go out with this really hot guy and then you guys were all, oh well you have to stay here, and I was all, um, no and you were all- "
"That's enough, Buffy." Maggie finished the argument.
"But Mo-om!"
The doorbell rung.
"This discussion is now terminated. I mean, done." Maggie stood up from the chair she was sitting in and headed for the door, Wesley in tow. Buffy groaned and stood up, following her parents to the door.
"What kind of a loser would want to marry Brianna, anyway? I mean, come on, he's probably some kind of. hello salty goodness." Buffy's eyes widened when she saw the guy standing next to Brianna. That kind of a loser, huh? She thought to herself. Wonder if he has a brother.
"Hey, Mom, hey Dad." Brianna greeted her parents.
"Hi sweetheart. How's college?" Maggie asked her daughter as she hugged her.
"It's good."
"How's your term paper coming along? If you need any help-"
"Yeah, I know. Come to you."
"Well, I was going to say read my book, but you could come to me." Brianna smiled and rolled her eyes at her mother, then moved over to her dad.
"Hi Daddy!"
"Hello, my little blueberry scone." Wesley said tenderly to his daugher.
"I told you to stop calling me that. When I was twelve."
"I'm a stubborn man."
"Yes, you are." Maggie replied.
"Mom, Dad, no." Buffy groaned.
"Hey, Buff." Brianna said to her little sister.
"Hey. And who's this?" Buffy said sweetly, moving closer to Angel.
"I'm Angel. You're Brianna's little sister, right?"
"Only by five years." Buffy smiled.
"Oh, you're the same age as my little brother Connor."
"Really, how nice." Buffy said quickly.
"Yeah, he's completely head over heels about this girl. It's really cute." Dammit! Buffy thought. They're both taken! Just my luck.
"Got any other brothers?" Buffy asked. Angel laughed.
"Thank god no."
Brianna saw how her little sister was looking at HER fiancé, the same way he'd been looking at her the night they met. Gotta intervene. Where's that pepper spray?
"Hey, Buff, why don't you go play with those barbies you like so much?"
"Shut up, Brianna! Why don't you go play with your."
"Boyfriend?"
"I was gonna say books."
Wesley took off his glasses and cleaned them, making the lenses squeak.
"Look, Buff, just go somewhere else, okay?"
"Mom and Dad said I had to be here. Ha."
"Well, you live here, at home, with your parents, like a good little HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT so you can see them any old time, now, can't you?"
"Actually, I asked Buffy to be here tonight." Maggie said in her youngest daughter's defense. She didn't know why she was, but what the hey.
"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" Brianna asked pointedly. "Dad, why don't you take Angel into the living room. Alone. And Buffy, go find a friend."
"I have friends. Unlike you did in high school."
"Ooh, that hurts me right here," Brianna said, holding her hand over her heart. "I'm gonna go cry on my fiance's shoulder. But first I have to talk to Mom. And I'm sure Dad wants to.interrogate Angel or something, so just, stay out of our way, okay?" With that, Brianna grabbed her mom's arm and pulled her towards the kitchen.
"She's soo annoying! And did you see the way she was checking out Angel?"
"Honey, I'm a psychologist. Of course I saw it."
"Then do something!"
"No. This is amusing." At the look of shock on her daughter's face, she reassured her. "I'm joking. Don't worry, it doesn't happen very often."
"I'm jumping with joy on the inside. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Nothing. Nothing will happen, so you don't need to do anything. You see her once a month, tops. No worries."
~
"So, Connor, I think we should talk about safe sex," said Angel as he straightened Connor's bow tie.
"Oh God. Mom already did this," Connor groaned.
"No she didn't. Mom told you not to have sex before you're married."
"So what are you gonna tell me?" Connor asked.
"And remember Dawn, no sex before you're married," Spike said as he put on Dawn's necklace. "Spike, my sex life is none of your business."
"You don't have a sex life and it's going to stay that way," Spike insisted.
"Look, I know that you're going to have a sex life at some point, but Dawn is simply too young."
"But everybody loses their virginity at prom! Even that guy in American Pie who went with the band geek. God, she was hot."
"Well that's what you get for falling in love with a freshman."
"I'm not in love with her."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not. Wait.I think maybe I am."
"Exhibit B," Angel chuckled.
"Dad, I so do not want to meet this loser!"
"Buffy, he is going to be your brother in law you're going to have to meet him sooner or later." Wesley said.
"But I was gonna go out with this really hot guy and then you guys were all, oh well you have to stay here, and I was all, um, no and you were all- "
"That's enough, Buffy." Maggie finished the argument.
"But Mo-om!"
The doorbell rung.
"This discussion is now terminated. I mean, done." Maggie stood up from the chair she was sitting in and headed for the door, Wesley in tow. Buffy groaned and stood up, following her parents to the door.
"What kind of a loser would want to marry Brianna, anyway? I mean, come on, he's probably some kind of. hello salty goodness." Buffy's eyes widened when she saw the guy standing next to Brianna. That kind of a loser, huh? She thought to herself. Wonder if he has a brother.
"Hey, Mom, hey Dad." Brianna greeted her parents.
"Hi sweetheart. How's college?" Maggie asked her daughter as she hugged her.
"It's good."
"How's your term paper coming along? If you need any help-"
"Yeah, I know. Come to you."
"Well, I was going to say read my book, but you could come to me." Brianna smiled and rolled her eyes at her mother, then moved over to her dad.
"Hi Daddy!"
"Hello, my little blueberry scone." Wesley said tenderly to his daugher.
"I told you to stop calling me that. When I was twelve."
"I'm a stubborn man."
"Yes, you are." Maggie replied.
"Mom, Dad, no." Buffy groaned.
"Hey, Buff." Brianna said to her little sister.
"Hey. And who's this?" Buffy said sweetly, moving closer to Angel.
"I'm Angel. You're Brianna's little sister, right?"
"Only by five years." Buffy smiled.
"Oh, you're the same age as my little brother Connor."
"Really, how nice." Buffy said quickly.
"Yeah, he's completely head over heels about this girl. It's really cute." Dammit! Buffy thought. They're both taken! Just my luck.
"Got any other brothers?" Buffy asked. Angel laughed.
"Thank god no."
Brianna saw how her little sister was looking at HER fiancé, the same way he'd been looking at her the night they met. Gotta intervene. Where's that pepper spray?
"Hey, Buff, why don't you go play with those barbies you like so much?"
"Shut up, Brianna! Why don't you go play with your."
"Boyfriend?"
"I was gonna say books."
Wesley took off his glasses and cleaned them, making the lenses squeak.
"Look, Buff, just go somewhere else, okay?"
"Mom and Dad said I had to be here. Ha."
"Well, you live here, at home, with your parents, like a good little HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT so you can see them any old time, now, can't you?"
"Actually, I asked Buffy to be here tonight." Maggie said in her youngest daughter's defense. She didn't know why she was, but what the hey.
"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" Brianna asked pointedly. "Dad, why don't you take Angel into the living room. Alone. And Buffy, go find a friend."
"I have friends. Unlike you did in high school."
"Ooh, that hurts me right here," Brianna said, holding her hand over her heart. "I'm gonna go cry on my fiance's shoulder. But first I have to talk to Mom. And I'm sure Dad wants to.interrogate Angel or something, so just, stay out of our way, okay?" With that, Brianna grabbed her mom's arm and pulled her towards the kitchen.
"She's soo annoying! And did you see the way she was checking out Angel?"
"Honey, I'm a psychologist. Of course I saw it."
"Then do something!"
"No. This is amusing." At the look of shock on her daughter's face, she reassured her. "I'm joking. Don't worry, it doesn't happen very often."
"I'm jumping with joy on the inside. What the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Nothing. Nothing will happen, so you don't need to do anything. You see her once a month, tops. No worries."
~
"So, Connor, I think we should talk about safe sex," said Angel as he straightened Connor's bow tie.
"Oh God. Mom already did this," Connor groaned.
"No she didn't. Mom told you not to have sex before you're married."
"So what are you gonna tell me?" Connor asked.
"And remember Dawn, no sex before you're married," Spike said as he put on Dawn's necklace. "Spike, my sex life is none of your business."
"You don't have a sex life and it's going to stay that way," Spike insisted.
"Look, I know that you're going to have a sex life at some point, but Dawn is simply too young."
"But everybody loses their virginity at prom! Even that guy in American Pie who went with the band geek. God, she was hot."
"Well that's what you get for falling in love with a freshman."
"I'm not in love with her."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Am not. Wait.I think maybe I am."
"Exhibit B," Angel chuckled.