Troubled Times
Part 9
By: Silverstar
Yes, he really is back ^__^
Okay, I'm sorry to leave you all hanging, but I had to do something to make you all review and want more! ^__^ And I guess it worked. Anyway, I did feel like I had to pick the story up a little and put some real action into it. So, here it is. Thanks to everyone again and I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed or any of the characters.
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I slowly ambled along the hallway to my room and shut the door behind me. My room was dark and cool...I breathed in the fresh air and....wait...I hadn't left that window open...My mug fell to the floor with a thunk and my tea spilled all over the rug as two arms circled me from behind.
"Hey babe." That voice...Oh my God...I heart thumped loudly as I slowly turned around and faced him...It was Jim. ~~
He looked just like I left him...as sexy as ever. I shivered as he stepped closer and I tried to back away from him.
"It's a dream...It's a dream..." I whispered repeatedly and Jim laughed quietly at me.
"Don't worry Phoebe, I'm here in the flesh. I've come for you. This is no dream." I stared at him wide-eyed and backed up until I hit my bed and sat down as my feet went out from under me. "What's wrong?" he asked, coming over to sit next to me, and I knew it was James that was before me. "I know...you haven't had any for a while. But don't worry, I'm going to take you back with me. I couldn't bring anything here...it was too dangerous, but I have some at a safe location. We can go there now, if you want." I looked at James and saw him smiling at me. "You look beautiful," he whispered, and I felt his lips on my neck. No...No...Piper and Prue were wrong. I couldn't do anything...I was powerless when it came to Jim...to James...I didn't have the energy to fight...and I knew I'd give in to him. I was so scared...I couldn't move. We sat there as seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to hours. James just kissed me tenderly and held me. I cried softly, and while he thought they were tears of joy and relief...they really were tears of fear. His scent was so welcoming, and I yearned for his touch...but my mind kept screaming out. I had to get away, I had to yell for my sisters. But...no words came from my mouth and no movement from my legs. Prue and Piper had gone to bed about ten minutes after me, and I'm sure James was just waiting till he was sure they were sleeping soundly.
"C'mon babe, let's pack your stuff," he said softly, and got to his feet. I made no sign of movement and just sat there in silence. I had to gather the courage to tell him...but...no...he would never...Jim had never hit me before. He wouldn't dare lay a finger on me...would he? "Phoebe?" He looked at he with concern and I stared back at him. "You are happy that I came all the way here for you...aren't you?" he asked. I just sat there and stared back down at my lap.
"James...It's just..."
"What?" he asked, and I could see that he was starting to get a little frustrated. "What is it? I haven't heard from you in weeks, so I came here, all worried about you, and now you won't even talk to me?" I sighed and stood up so that I could look at Jim in the face.
"Jim...It's just that...Since I've been here, I've started to form a really close bond with my sisters...A bond that I'm not so sure I want to break." I looked up at him and he stared at me for a few moments before stepping uncomfortably close.
"Don't you know Phoebe, that your sisters are just putting on an act? Remember all the things you told me about them? They'll never change, so don't let them fool you. It's all right, you don't have to be afraid. Your sisters will have no way of finding us once we get to New York." He slid his hand slowly up my arm until he was cupping my face gently. But we have to hurry and get a head start." I closed my eyes for a moment, but then shook off the feeling of his hand on my cheek. No...I had to...I had to be strong.
"Jim...I mean it. I...I don't want to leave. I don't want to go back to that life style. I like it here...and...and this is where I want to stay." I slowly stepped a little away from Jim as I saw his eyes widen and he processed the information.
"Phoebe...you...you don't mean it. It was them! They brainwashed you!" he said in a loud whisper. I shook my head 'no' as fear crept into my eyes and he advanced towards me. "As soon as I get you home and some of my special merchandise in your veins, you'll feel better. You'll come to your senses, won't you Phoebe?" I shook my head 'no' again as I bumped into my bed behind me and sat down on it as I fell. "Yes...Yes you will," he said and he grabbed my arm roughly. "I didn't come this far to leave you behind. You're all I think about Phoebe. I dream about you at night, and I think about you during the day. You are coming back with me. You are." I started to pull my arm away and opened my mouth to shout, but the next thing I knew I saw a fist. There was a sharp pain on the side of my head as everything went fuzzy and I fell back onto my bed. Then...darkness surrounded me.
I groaned as I felt a throbbing on the left side of my head. I moved slightly at first, but then decided against it, for the pain was much worse when I did so. Taking a few deep breaths, I slowly opened my eyes to get a bearing on my surroundings. It was dark out and I was in the back of a van...lying down on some blankets and pillows. Slowly, I sat up and tried to think. Jim...He had hit me in his furry. I knew from experience how strong he was...I didn't want to think about what he'd do if he were extremely angry.
"You up?" I heard Jim ask, and then noticed that he was in the front seat of the van driving. He looked back at me through the rear view mirror and I sunk down low as he stared at me. "Get some sleep," he commanded, and I saw on the van's clock that it was three thirty in the morning. Not wanting to make Jim any more angry then he already was, I slowly laid back down and noticed a bag next to me. Jim must have packed some of my things before he left the house...Uhhh...I couldn't think about it any more, for my head pounded sharply, and slowly I drifted back into unconsciousness...
I awoke as the car jerked and slowly opened my eyes. My head still hurt terribly, but I didn't dare make any noise or complaints. Jim was still driving and it was one o'clock the next day...my sisters must've already saw that I was gone...They were probably having heart attacks. Moving with caution, I sat up and looked outside the van. My vision was still a little blurry, but I knew that we were a long ways away from San Francisco. I blinked to try to clear my vision, but it was still fuzzy. Cautiously, I took my hand and reached up to touch the side of my head. Pain surged down my forehead and I flinched, quickly bringing my hand away. My eyes went wide at the sight of blood, and the fact that I was still slightly bleeding.
"Lay back down," Jim said sternly, and I quickly complied. I didn't matter...my vision was still too unsteady to even try an escape. Still...
"J...Jim," I whispered, and I saw him look back at me through the rear view mirror. "Where are we?"
"Almost to Nevada," he answered gruffly.
"Jim...How far are we going to drive?" I asked softly, and prayed that he didn't get angry with me. He just sighed and turned back to look at me for a moment before putting his eyes on the road again.
"Do you know how much I've missed your voice?" he asked. Gulping with nervousness, I looked at the floor and kept silent, waiting for an answer. "I have a safe house set up for us just over the border." I could feel the tears start to come, and I let them fall as I laid there in silence, a blanket wrapped around me. My world was falling down right in front of my face...We were at least a good six hours ahead of my sisters and the police...and I had no hope of an escape at the moment. We rode in silence for a few more hours and all I could think about was what would happen when we got to this "safe house." I shivered as my head went through numerous possibilities and then I forced myself to try to think of something else. My next thoughts were of my sisters. They were probably so worried...I cringed at the pain I was putting them through again and felt tears fall from my eyes, down my cheeks, and onto the blanket I was tightly wrapped in. If only I had had the strength...the courage...the ability to call out for them when I still had a chance of escape. Now...now I was doomed. After a while of thinking and crying, I started to drift in and out of sleep, for my head wound was making me woozy. It was around five o'clock when the van finally stopped.
"Oh Lord, help me," I whispered as Jim got out of the door and disappeared inside the house. I slowly got up and saw that we were in the middle of no where...no hope. Even if I managed to get away, I'd probably starve to death after getting lost. I could hardly move anyway without feeling dizzy and faint. If I tried to get away now I wouldn't get very far, and then when Jim found me he'd be very angry...I didn't want that. A minute later I heard the van's sliding door open and I looked over to see Jim and...and Matt. Why was he here? Never mind...Jim didn't go anywhere without backup...without someone he could boss around. Matt smiled when he saw me, but I could tell that Jim had filled him in on my new views and what had happened. He looked at my head with a little concern, but I could tell that he thought I had deserved what I got. I backed up a little as he reached in to grab my bag and the rest of the garments and food that Jim had stored back there. I hadn't even noticed all that other stuff that had been in the seat behind me. I flinched and tried to move back as Jim reached his hand out for me, but his firm grip around my delicate wrist made we stop, and I allowed him to pull me from the van. Once on the ground I felt a wave of dizziness and my legs buckled. I was surprised to find myself in Jim's arms when I opened my eyes. He looked concerned, and he gingerly picked me up and started carrying me towards the house. My head hurt too much...and I was too scared to struggle. I just laid there with my head resting on Jim's shoulder while I took in deep breaths and tried to calm myself. Judging from Jim's concerned look seconds before, he still cared for me very much. Maybe I could talk him into letting me go? I'd just have to get James to emerge from his mind.
The house was very small, and only one story. There was one bedroom, a small main room with a fire place, couch, and a little TV, and a kitchen with a stove, oven, small microwave, and a table with chairs. The kitchen was off to the right as Jim carried me in. We walked through the main room and he set me down in the bedroom on the bed. I had a feeling that we'd be sharing this room for as long as we stayed here, and I shivered at the thought. I still had trouble resisting Jim...and I knew that after a night with him, I wouldn't be able to turn to run away from him again. Matt came in to put down my bag and some of Jim's things before leaving to store some food in the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. I watched warily as Jim walked into the bathroom and then came back out with a wet cloth, a towel, a bucket of water, and some bandages for my head. I wanted to move away from him, but I was afraid...and I knew that my head needed some medical attention, even if it was only something to stop the bleeding.
"Let me see," Jim said so softly, that I thought that maybe James was in front of me...but I wasn't sure. I stayed still as he examined my wound and began to clean it. I winced in pain as he did so, and shut my eyes, concentrating on breathing so I wouldn't pass out. I felt Jim wash the blood away and out of my hair with the cloth and dry it carefully with a clean towel. My head was throbbing, and I couldn't help the tears that fell silently down my face. I finally opened my eyes once Jim was putting on the bandages and it was then that I saw the bucket...the water was red. I shivered and continued to concentrate on my breathing as Jim finished up and took his supplies back into the bathroom. Now that he was gone for a moment, I took this time to look around the bedroom. I was laying back on the bed, my head resting carefully on a pillow, and next to me was a side table with a lamp and a...a phone!? My hopes rose, but seconds later I saw that the cord was cut...the only phone available would be Jim's cell, and there was no way I'd be getting to that. Other than that, there was a dresser facing the bed from the opposite wall. Jim's stuff was put away by Matt in one of the drawers, and I saw my bag sitting on top of it. I wonder what Jim had brought? Gathering my strength, I slowly made my way across the small room on unsteady feet and opened my bag. Inside I found a brush, toothbrush, a pair of jeans, a few T-shirts, and some underwear. That was all. Hearing a noise, I quickly zipped up the bag and walked over to sit down on the end of the bed. Jim came out of the bathroom seconds later and came over to sit down next to me.
"Look...Phoebe," he began as he picked up my hands in his. His touch made me nervous, but as his fingers wrapped firmly around my hands I felt an electric spark as a tingle ran up my arms. No...I couldn't give in...but his touch..."Phoebe, I'm sorry about before. I didn't mean to hurt you...but I just had to get you out of that house. I knew that once out...once you were here with me, you'd come to your senses. That environment was bad for you...cooped up in that house with your sisters. I know you Phoebe...you have a free spirit. You always have." I watched as he massaged my hands with his and entwined his fingers throughout mine. "Please forgive me." He looked at me with those gorgeous sexy eyes, but no words came from my mouth. "Phoebe?"
"Jim...I...It's just..." I took in a deep and slow breath as I reorganized my thoughts and then squeezed his hands. I had to handle this situation very carefully. "Jim...I can't lie and say that I still don't have feelings for you..." I started, and I saw him smile at me.
"I knew it Phoebe, I knew it," he said, reaching over to pull me closer to him, but I quickly held out my hands to stop him and shook my head.
"I do still have feelings for you...but it has to end. Jim...Don't you get it? In these past months since I've known you and been away from you...I've changed. I...I don't want to depend on drugs anymore...and that means I don't want to depend on you either. I...I just want to go home...to my sisters..." I felt tears fall down my cheeks as I said this and caught a surprised and frustrated look in Jim's eyes. Oh God, I hope he doesn't hurt me.
"Phoebe...they still have you brainwashed, don't they?!" he said angrily, and I shook my head in protest. "Yes...well, don't worry. Tonight I'll fix it. I've got a special dose just for you, and after you've had it, you'll be begging to stay with me." I looked at Jim with fear as he got up and left the room. Oh God...
"Phoebe?" Minutes later I was lying back on the bed trying to rest my head when I heard Matt call my name. He had entered the room with a tray of food, and it was then that I realized that I hadn't eaten all day. Still...considering the situation, I actually wasn't very hungry at all. I closed my eyes after he entered and tried to ignore him...but he was more persistent then I would have thought. "C'mon Phoebe, open your eyes. I know you're awake. With a gash like that on your head, I'm sure you're in too much pain to fall asleep anyway." He was right. I was trying to rest my head, but it continued to throb and I wasn't getting any sleep. My best bet would have been to stand up and start walking around...then maybe I'd at least faint into unconsciousness. Giving up, I opened my eyes and allowed Matt to help me sit up. "I'm sorry about your head...but you know you shouldn't make Jim mad." I sighed and looked down at the food Matt had sat on my lap. It was a ham sandwich and some chips, along with a glass of water.
"Thanks," I said, motioning to the food, "But I'm not hungry."
"C'mon, you have to eat. You need to keep your strength up." I stared at the food for a while and then looked up at Matt.
"Matt...Please, can you help me? I have to get out of here...I need to get in touch with my sisters-"
"Wait a minute," he interrupted. "The last time I saw you, you had snuck out of the house and away from your sisters. You hated them! Now you're telling me that you need them? What is wrong with you?"
"Th-things have changed," I said softly as I looked down at my arms. "Do you see these scars?" I asked, holding them up for Matt to see. "I don't want to do this anymore. I want a normal healthy life."
"I'm sorry babe, but you're not getting it. You're with Jim, and that's the way it will stay until he gets tired of you. I can't help you out, or he'll cut me off from the stuff, and I need it to get by. You use to need it too, didn't you? After you get another taste, I'm sure you'll be singing a different tune." I looked at Matt with pleading eyes, but he just patted me on the arms and handed me two Advil. "Take this, you'll feel better," he said, and then he left me. As soon as he was gone I downed the medicine and surveyed the room. All of the windows were boarded up, and any attempt of escape would be heard through the thin walls. I...I was trapped. I considered crying some more, but it was just giving me a headache, so I decided to try and eat. I slowly nibbled on my sandwich and then my thoughts turned to home...I yearned to be in my sisters' arms right now...with them telling me that everything was going to be all right. I'd probably never see them again. I knew that once hooked on Jim's drugs, I wouldn't be able to separate from him. I wasn't strong enough to go through withdraw again...I wouldn't be strong enough to leave him. I sat trying to eat for a while, but I eventually pushed the food away and laid back. The medicine was taking effect, and the pounding in my head was lessening. I wanted out of the world I was in...I wanted to escape. So...I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to overcome me.
"Phoebe?" I heard a far off voice and slowly came to my senses. Where...Oh...I was in an old little house with Jim...I remember. I blinked a few times to wake myself up and then looked over to see that it was Jim who had shaken me awake. The clock said nine...I had been sleeping for a while. "Phoebe, babe, you awake?" he asked, and I watched as he sat down next to me on the bed.
"Yeah..." I whispered and shuddered when he rubbed my back with his firm strong hands. No Phoebe...don't give in...don't...
"C'mon, let me help you up." I allowed Jim to help me into a sitting position and looked at him questionably. "Phoebe...It's time to make you mine again." At his statement I just starred without blinking and made no movement. I had to face reality...there was nothing I could do...So I might as well just give in now. I nodded my defeat and held out my shaking arm. He took it gently and rubbed his fingers over it. It was then that I saw the large needle sitting in his lap. My eyes went wide at the sight of it as my body started to shake uncontrollably. No...no...not again...Tears came to my eyes as he reached for the needle with his right hand and held my arm firmly with his left. Slowly, he brought the cool medal to my skin and...there. The drugs were injected, and he put my arm down gently while waiting for it to take effect. I knew it was over. The familiar feeling nagged at me until I allowed myself to enjoy it, and I slowly gave in to the chemicals.
"Jim..." I said, trying a last attempt at protest, but it was too late.
"Shhh," he said softly, climbing into bed next to me. "Everything is going to be okay now. Just relax...I'm here." I didn't respond as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Babe...Tell me you love me," he said passionately as he started to kiss me along the neck. By that time, I was too far gone to disobey orders. Things were back to the way they were before.
"I...love you," I said softly, and allowed Jim to reacquaint himself with me.
My eyes opened the next morning, only to be welcomed with a massive headache. My vision was blurred somewhat, so I closed them again to clear my head, and then tried to focus on my surroundings. Uhh...I felt somewhat woozy. Looking around, I saw that Jim wasn't in sight, so I made my way to the bathroom. Once there, I shut and locked the door and fell to the ground. What had happened? Looking down, I saw a mark on my arm and remembered that Jim had given me a special dose last night...That explained why I really had no memory of what had happened...Still, I could guess. I groaned, holding my stomach for comfort, and reached over to turn the shower on. I didn't feel well at all...after my body was getting use to life without drugs, this had to happened and put my whole system out of whack again. Very slowly, I stood up from my place on the floor and climbed into the shower. Upon the water hitting my face I yelped in pain and brought my hand up to the side of my head. Oh yeah...I had almost forgotten the gash that Jim and given me the other night. Wincing in pain, I pulled off the bandages and placed a cool washcloth on it before continuing with my shower. I let the warm water wash over me as I breathed deeply...but it didn't work. Seconds later I started to sob and dropped to the shower's floor. I stayed there sobbing as the water rushed over me, just as the hope of a normal life washed over me and down the drain as well. Still sobbing, I managed to get up and clean myself up a bit. When I emerged from the shower I noticed that Jim had laid out some fresh bandages on the counter and that my bag was on the floor. I hadn't noticed them when I came in, but then again my vision hadn't been 100% as I had stumbled into the bathroom earlier. I quickly put on my jeans and a shirt before brushing my teeth and carefully brushing my hair. I had to be extra careful around the gash on my head, for the cut went at least one inch into my hairline. After brushing my hair and putting it into a ponytail I dealt with my cut. By the time I was finished I felt very woozy and my head was throbbing. I slowly unlocked the door and shuffled over to the bed. Sighing with relief, I laid down and closed my eyes. I woke with a jolt when I felt something sliding up and down my back. Rolling over, I saw that it was Jim, rubbing my back to wake me up gently. He was holding a plate of food but just the sight of it made me feel sick. I rolled back over and shut my eyes.
"Hungry?" he asked, and I grunted in reply. "C'mon Phoebe," he insisted, and I rolled back over and slowly sat up. Jim sat down next to me and set the tray of food down in front of us near the end of the bed. I stared at the food, but then looked over at him. Despite the circumstances, I couldn't help noticing how cute he was with his ruffled hair and a slight grin on his face. Is this really the man that I'm running from? The man that I want to leave behind?
"Jim...I can't, I don't feel well," I said as he leaned closer towards me and put his arm around my shoulder.
"You must feel better after last night," he said, smiling at me with mischief, but I ignored him. Still...I couldn't lie to myself. The high that was obtained from that dose of drugs...It was something that my body had been yearning for, ever since rehab. "I was right wasn't I? Do you feel better now?" I still didn't say anything, but eventually turned to face Jim.
"I don't remember most of last night," I started. "But...the high I was on...it was so familiar...and something my body had been wanting for a long time. The thing is...now I don't think I'll ever be able to give it up." I looked sadly at Jim, but he just continued to smile.
"That's good babe. That means you'll never be able to give me up, and I want to stay holding you forever." I sighed as he put his other arm around me and kissed me passionately on the mouth. Yeah...he really was a good kisser. I smiled at this thought, as part of me wanted to believe that I could get use to this lifestyle again. The other part of me...well, all I could think of was Prue, Piper, and the life they had given me. It could have developed to much more...but it was over now. I guess there was no use thinking about things that could never come to be. Closing my eyes, I gave all I had into Jim's kiss and smiled a little when he pulled away. I did feel a little better... "You try to eat and get some rest," Jim told me, and I watched as he got up and left the room. I looked over to see that it was already twelve o'clock, and then looked down at the sandwich in front of me. I did try to eat...Part of me said that I had to keep up my strength if I even had a chance of escaping...The other part had no hope, and didn't really care one way or the other if I ate or starved. An hour later I picked up my half eaten sandwich and opened the bedroom door into the main room. No one was there, so I slowly made my way to the kitchen to throw my food away. Upon entering I saw Matt sitting at the kitchen table with a magazine and a beer. He looked up as I entered and watched as I made my way to the trashcan.
"Finally up?" he asked as he pulled out a chair for me to sit down. I wanted to ignore him, but then thought better of it. I didn't want to make him angry...and he could give me some info that I wanted to know.
"Yeah," I replied as I sat down and took the Advil that he was handing to me. My head was throbbing. We sat in silence for a while, and as I stared at the floor thinking of what to say next I could feel Matt staring at me. "So, Matt..." I said, trying to break the silence. "Where did Jim go?" I looked up at him and he smiled at me.
"He went to take care of some business." Okay...was that all? I needed more info.
"What kind of business?" I asked. "Will he be back soon? I miss him already." I added that last part in for good measure, hoping that Matt would think I was a fully changed woman and that he'd give me more info. I was right.
"Well, we need transportation to New York. This is the house that I use when I'm down here. Numerous associates of Jim have stayed here. It's out of public view and considered a safe house among the men that visit San Francisco. After contacting you I stayed here for a while until I could get safe transportation back to New York. Jim is out now talking with some friends of his trying to pull some strings. We'll be on a plane out of here as soon as we can ." I nodded and took a sip of the beer Matt handed me. What the hell, I could use it. I nodded my thanks and took the rest of the beer into the other room. Matt's blanket and pillow were still on the couch from the other night, so I shoved them aside and sat down as I took another swig of beer. After setting my beer down on the floor I reached over for the TV remote and turned on the little television that was facing the couch. Every station was fuzz...I flipped and flipped and flipped, and nothing came on. Realizing that I had started watching on channel 3, I turned the TV to channel two and smiled when a picture came up, fuzzy, but nonetheless a picture. Turning the volume up a little, I listened to the newscaster.
"In other news, we have a missing persons report. A Miss. Phoebe Halliwell from San Francisco disappeared from her home last night on Prescott Street. The police are asking if anyone knows anything to contact them immediately..." I stared at the screen in shock as a picture of me came up and watched as that police officer from before...Darryl. He was talking about me...my sisters...the search that was being done and the number to call if anyone knew anything...1-800-P-O-L-I-C-E-1...
"Hey!" I looked up and saw Matt charging towards me. I moved out of his way as he grabbed the remote, but he stopped when he looked to the TV. His eyes opened wide as he saw my picture on the news and took in what he was seeing. "Go into the bedroom!" he barked, but I just stared at him, unsure of what was happening. Had they really not expected my sisters to fight to find me? "NOW!" he said sharply, and I quickly got up and ran into the bedroom. At least I knew they were looking for me...my sisters sure didn't waste any time. Still...Even if they did find me, how would my life be? I was already craving more of what Jim had given me last night...could I live without him again? I honestly didn't know. I listened closely by the door and heard Matt pacing around the room with the TV on low so I wouldn't be able to here. He was talking to someone...probably Jim. My mind went through ways to get to a phone and call the police hotline...but then I thought of last night and the drugs going through my system. Was I strong enough to leave? In the end I decided to lay down and get some rest. My head still hurt, but the Advil was starting to kick in and I wanted at least an hour of sleep. So, yet again, I laid down on the bed and fell into a restless slumber.
"Phoebe..." I heard a distant voice as everything began to shake and I slowly opened my eyes. I stared up into the eyes of Jim and I smiled halfheartedly when I saw him. I really just wanted to sleep...to get away from the cravings and the chemicals running throughout me. "Phoebe, babe, wake up," he said, and I awoke fully and sat up.
"What is it?" I asked, and he smiled at me. "C'mon, we're on the move." I just kind of nodded as I looked around and saw Matt gathering up all of our stuff. Jim helped me to my feet and walked me outside. To my surprise, I saw a different van parked out front, but I didn't say anything as Jim put me in the back seat and got in the front. Matt was in the driver's seat two minutes later and I looked out the window as we left the little house.
"Phoebe." I looked over to see that Jim had crawled next to me and had already slid another needle into my arm. I looked at him uneasily, but in a few minutes I started to feel woozy and like my head was up in the clouds. "Lay down and be quiet," Jim told me as he shoved my head down and in response I quickly laid down on the seat. Everything went dark as Jim threw a blanket over me and went back up to sit in the front. I wanted to sit up and protest, but the drugs inside of me made me feel laidback and I decided that it was nice under the blanket. I closed my eyes and watched colors flash before me...blue, black, orange, purple...I almost laughed at them, but decided against making any noise. Instead, I stayed quiet and allowed my body to accept and take pleasure in the drugs that were inside of me.
The next thing I knew the car had stopped and I could hear Matt and Jim talking quietly. Where were we...? What time was it...? I felt confused as I remembered the needle Jim had slid into my arm and then knew that it was all over. Soon I'd be back in New York with Jim...and I wouldn't be able to run away. I sat in silence for a moment, breathing quietly as I tried to listen to what Jim and Matt were saying.
"...But is it safe?" I heard Jim ask.
"Yeah, you two go around back and I'll go check in the front. They didn't mention my name on the TV or show a picture of me. I'll let you two in the back entrance." I listened as Matt got out of the van and Jim started driving it around the back. When it stopped, I decided to speak up.
"Jim...What time is it?" I asked quietly, and I blinked when he pulled the blanket off of me. The lights from the car were blaring next to the darkness coming form outside.
"It's ten o'clock, and we're still in Nevada. We're staying here the night, and I don't want you to make any trouble, do you understand?" He talked to me harshly, but also softly like I was a little kid. I didn't understand how he could do both at once...but then again, maybe it was the drugs making me hear things. I just nodded at him and watched as he took the key out of the ignition and came around the side to get me. I allowed myself to lean up against him for support and we made our way over to the back entrance. two minutes later Matt opened the door and gave Jim the extra key. Then, he propped the door open and went out to the van to get our stuff. Meanwhile, Jim and I made our way up the stairs and to our room on the second floor. We were in a crummy little motel room with two small beds and a little bathroom. That was all I noticed before Jim threw me down onto the bed. "Stay there and don't move," he ordered, and I didn't dare to even lift my head and look around. I could hear Jim rummaging around in the bathroom when Matt came through the door. He shoved my bag at me, and I took this as a sign that I was allowed to at least sit up. I did so, and took in the rest of the little room. There was a small TV across from the beds and on the dresser in between the beds there was a clock and a telephone. At the sight of the phone my tiny ounce of hope soared...but then I realized that even if I could make the phone call without being caught, Jim would find out after he checked out...and then there might not be much left of me even if I was found. I gulped at this thought and looked over when Jim came out of the bathroom. He motioned that I should use it, so I quickly went in with my bag and shut the door. Stupid bathroom...it didn't even have a lock...but I guess it was alright. Wanting to hurry, I turned the shower on right away and jumped in after taking my head bandage off. The cool water refreshed me and helped bring me back to my senses as I tried to shrug off the effects of the drugs Jim had given me earlier this morning. Five minutes later I turned the water off and dried myself. Picking up the comfortable clothes that I had been wearing the night Jim took me, I put them on and then dealt with the gash in my head. It seemed to be healing, but it was still giving me headaches...I just hoped nothing serious was wrong. After brushing my teeth and my hair I felt refreshed. Still...there had to be a way to leave some sort of message for the maid or someone to find. Tearing off a piece of toilet paper, I picked up a pen that was in the trash can and wrote down the police hotline. I wrote my name underneath it and then the words New York and airplane. Feeling confident, I put the paper underneath a bar of soap that I had used and then rewrapped in the motel paper. The maid would go to throw the soap away and see it. I prayed that Jim or Matt wouldn't see my message and then hurried out of the bathroom. Matt was gone and Jim was sitting on a bed with nothing on except his boxers.
"Where'd Matt go?" I asked as I sat down on the bed and Jim immediately pulled me close to him.
"He went to make sure our arrangements are final and to get a few beers," Jim responded, and I nodded.
"What arrangement?" I asked. Jim looked at me as to question if I was trustworthy, so I just smiled at him and he gave in.
"We're flying out of here tomorrow morning back to New York." He smiled as he said this and slowly stroked my hair. Still slightly high on the drugs, I didn't resist. Twenty minutes later Matt returned and I downed a beer before sliding under the covers with Jim. I felt exhausted.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Yes, he really is back ^__^
Okay, I'm sorry to leave you all hanging, but I had to do something to make you all review and want more! ^__^ And I guess it worked. Anyway, I did feel like I had to pick the story up a little and put some real action into it. So, here it is. Thanks to everyone again and I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed or any of the characters.
**********
I slowly ambled along the hallway to my room and shut the door behind me. My room was dark and cool...I breathed in the fresh air and....wait...I hadn't left that window open...My mug fell to the floor with a thunk and my tea spilled all over the rug as two arms circled me from behind.
"Hey babe." That voice...Oh my God...I heart thumped loudly as I slowly turned around and faced him...It was Jim. ~~
He looked just like I left him...as sexy as ever. I shivered as he stepped closer and I tried to back away from him.
"It's a dream...It's a dream..." I whispered repeatedly and Jim laughed quietly at me.
"Don't worry Phoebe, I'm here in the flesh. I've come for you. This is no dream." I stared at him wide-eyed and backed up until I hit my bed and sat down as my feet went out from under me. "What's wrong?" he asked, coming over to sit next to me, and I knew it was James that was before me. "I know...you haven't had any for a while. But don't worry, I'm going to take you back with me. I couldn't bring anything here...it was too dangerous, but I have some at a safe location. We can go there now, if you want." I looked at James and saw him smiling at me. "You look beautiful," he whispered, and I felt his lips on my neck. No...No...Piper and Prue were wrong. I couldn't do anything...I was powerless when it came to Jim...to James...I didn't have the energy to fight...and I knew I'd give in to him. I was so scared...I couldn't move. We sat there as seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to hours. James just kissed me tenderly and held me. I cried softly, and while he thought they were tears of joy and relief...they really were tears of fear. His scent was so welcoming, and I yearned for his touch...but my mind kept screaming out. I had to get away, I had to yell for my sisters. But...no words came from my mouth and no movement from my legs. Prue and Piper had gone to bed about ten minutes after me, and I'm sure James was just waiting till he was sure they were sleeping soundly.
"C'mon babe, let's pack your stuff," he said softly, and got to his feet. I made no sign of movement and just sat there in silence. I had to gather the courage to tell him...but...no...he would never...Jim had never hit me before. He wouldn't dare lay a finger on me...would he? "Phoebe?" He looked at he with concern and I stared back at him. "You are happy that I came all the way here for you...aren't you?" he asked. I just sat there and stared back down at my lap.
"James...It's just..."
"What?" he asked, and I could see that he was starting to get a little frustrated. "What is it? I haven't heard from you in weeks, so I came here, all worried about you, and now you won't even talk to me?" I sighed and stood up so that I could look at Jim in the face.
"Jim...It's just that...Since I've been here, I've started to form a really close bond with my sisters...A bond that I'm not so sure I want to break." I looked up at him and he stared at me for a few moments before stepping uncomfortably close.
"Don't you know Phoebe, that your sisters are just putting on an act? Remember all the things you told me about them? They'll never change, so don't let them fool you. It's all right, you don't have to be afraid. Your sisters will have no way of finding us once we get to New York." He slid his hand slowly up my arm until he was cupping my face gently. But we have to hurry and get a head start." I closed my eyes for a moment, but then shook off the feeling of his hand on my cheek. No...I had to...I had to be strong.
"Jim...I mean it. I...I don't want to leave. I don't want to go back to that life style. I like it here...and...and this is where I want to stay." I slowly stepped a little away from Jim as I saw his eyes widen and he processed the information.
"Phoebe...you...you don't mean it. It was them! They brainwashed you!" he said in a loud whisper. I shook my head 'no' as fear crept into my eyes and he advanced towards me. "As soon as I get you home and some of my special merchandise in your veins, you'll feel better. You'll come to your senses, won't you Phoebe?" I shook my head 'no' again as I bumped into my bed behind me and sat down on it as I fell. "Yes...Yes you will," he said and he grabbed my arm roughly. "I didn't come this far to leave you behind. You're all I think about Phoebe. I dream about you at night, and I think about you during the day. You are coming back with me. You are." I started to pull my arm away and opened my mouth to shout, but the next thing I knew I saw a fist. There was a sharp pain on the side of my head as everything went fuzzy and I fell back onto my bed. Then...darkness surrounded me.
I groaned as I felt a throbbing on the left side of my head. I moved slightly at first, but then decided against it, for the pain was much worse when I did so. Taking a few deep breaths, I slowly opened my eyes to get a bearing on my surroundings. It was dark out and I was in the back of a van...lying down on some blankets and pillows. Slowly, I sat up and tried to think. Jim...He had hit me in his furry. I knew from experience how strong he was...I didn't want to think about what he'd do if he were extremely angry.
"You up?" I heard Jim ask, and then noticed that he was in the front seat of the van driving. He looked back at me through the rear view mirror and I sunk down low as he stared at me. "Get some sleep," he commanded, and I saw on the van's clock that it was three thirty in the morning. Not wanting to make Jim any more angry then he already was, I slowly laid back down and noticed a bag next to me. Jim must have packed some of my things before he left the house...Uhhh...I couldn't think about it any more, for my head pounded sharply, and slowly I drifted back into unconsciousness...
I awoke as the car jerked and slowly opened my eyes. My head still hurt terribly, but I didn't dare make any noise or complaints. Jim was still driving and it was one o'clock the next day...my sisters must've already saw that I was gone...They were probably having heart attacks. Moving with caution, I sat up and looked outside the van. My vision was still a little blurry, but I knew that we were a long ways away from San Francisco. I blinked to try to clear my vision, but it was still fuzzy. Cautiously, I took my hand and reached up to touch the side of my head. Pain surged down my forehead and I flinched, quickly bringing my hand away. My eyes went wide at the sight of blood, and the fact that I was still slightly bleeding.
"Lay back down," Jim said sternly, and I quickly complied. I didn't matter...my vision was still too unsteady to even try an escape. Still...
"J...Jim," I whispered, and I saw him look back at me through the rear view mirror. "Where are we?"
"Almost to Nevada," he answered gruffly.
"Jim...How far are we going to drive?" I asked softly, and prayed that he didn't get angry with me. He just sighed and turned back to look at me for a moment before putting his eyes on the road again.
"Do you know how much I've missed your voice?" he asked. Gulping with nervousness, I looked at the floor and kept silent, waiting for an answer. "I have a safe house set up for us just over the border." I could feel the tears start to come, and I let them fall as I laid there in silence, a blanket wrapped around me. My world was falling down right in front of my face...We were at least a good six hours ahead of my sisters and the police...and I had no hope of an escape at the moment. We rode in silence for a few more hours and all I could think about was what would happen when we got to this "safe house." I shivered as my head went through numerous possibilities and then I forced myself to try to think of something else. My next thoughts were of my sisters. They were probably so worried...I cringed at the pain I was putting them through again and felt tears fall from my eyes, down my cheeks, and onto the blanket I was tightly wrapped in. If only I had had the strength...the courage...the ability to call out for them when I still had a chance of escape. Now...now I was doomed. After a while of thinking and crying, I started to drift in and out of sleep, for my head wound was making me woozy. It was around five o'clock when the van finally stopped.
"Oh Lord, help me," I whispered as Jim got out of the door and disappeared inside the house. I slowly got up and saw that we were in the middle of no where...no hope. Even if I managed to get away, I'd probably starve to death after getting lost. I could hardly move anyway without feeling dizzy and faint. If I tried to get away now I wouldn't get very far, and then when Jim found me he'd be very angry...I didn't want that. A minute later I heard the van's sliding door open and I looked over to see Jim and...and Matt. Why was he here? Never mind...Jim didn't go anywhere without backup...without someone he could boss around. Matt smiled when he saw me, but I could tell that Jim had filled him in on my new views and what had happened. He looked at my head with a little concern, but I could tell that he thought I had deserved what I got. I backed up a little as he reached in to grab my bag and the rest of the garments and food that Jim had stored back there. I hadn't even noticed all that other stuff that had been in the seat behind me. I flinched and tried to move back as Jim reached his hand out for me, but his firm grip around my delicate wrist made we stop, and I allowed him to pull me from the van. Once on the ground I felt a wave of dizziness and my legs buckled. I was surprised to find myself in Jim's arms when I opened my eyes. He looked concerned, and he gingerly picked me up and started carrying me towards the house. My head hurt too much...and I was too scared to struggle. I just laid there with my head resting on Jim's shoulder while I took in deep breaths and tried to calm myself. Judging from Jim's concerned look seconds before, he still cared for me very much. Maybe I could talk him into letting me go? I'd just have to get James to emerge from his mind.
The house was very small, and only one story. There was one bedroom, a small main room with a fire place, couch, and a little TV, and a kitchen with a stove, oven, small microwave, and a table with chairs. The kitchen was off to the right as Jim carried me in. We walked through the main room and he set me down in the bedroom on the bed. I had a feeling that we'd be sharing this room for as long as we stayed here, and I shivered at the thought. I still had trouble resisting Jim...and I knew that after a night with him, I wouldn't be able to turn to run away from him again. Matt came in to put down my bag and some of Jim's things before leaving to store some food in the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. I watched warily as Jim walked into the bathroom and then came back out with a wet cloth, a towel, a bucket of water, and some bandages for my head. I wanted to move away from him, but I was afraid...and I knew that my head needed some medical attention, even if it was only something to stop the bleeding.
"Let me see," Jim said so softly, that I thought that maybe James was in front of me...but I wasn't sure. I stayed still as he examined my wound and began to clean it. I winced in pain as he did so, and shut my eyes, concentrating on breathing so I wouldn't pass out. I felt Jim wash the blood away and out of my hair with the cloth and dry it carefully with a clean towel. My head was throbbing, and I couldn't help the tears that fell silently down my face. I finally opened my eyes once Jim was putting on the bandages and it was then that I saw the bucket...the water was red. I shivered and continued to concentrate on my breathing as Jim finished up and took his supplies back into the bathroom. Now that he was gone for a moment, I took this time to look around the bedroom. I was laying back on the bed, my head resting carefully on a pillow, and next to me was a side table with a lamp and a...a phone!? My hopes rose, but seconds later I saw that the cord was cut...the only phone available would be Jim's cell, and there was no way I'd be getting to that. Other than that, there was a dresser facing the bed from the opposite wall. Jim's stuff was put away by Matt in one of the drawers, and I saw my bag sitting on top of it. I wonder what Jim had brought? Gathering my strength, I slowly made my way across the small room on unsteady feet and opened my bag. Inside I found a brush, toothbrush, a pair of jeans, a few T-shirts, and some underwear. That was all. Hearing a noise, I quickly zipped up the bag and walked over to sit down on the end of the bed. Jim came out of the bathroom seconds later and came over to sit down next to me.
"Look...Phoebe," he began as he picked up my hands in his. His touch made me nervous, but as his fingers wrapped firmly around my hands I felt an electric spark as a tingle ran up my arms. No...I couldn't give in...but his touch..."Phoebe, I'm sorry about before. I didn't mean to hurt you...but I just had to get you out of that house. I knew that once out...once you were here with me, you'd come to your senses. That environment was bad for you...cooped up in that house with your sisters. I know you Phoebe...you have a free spirit. You always have." I watched as he massaged my hands with his and entwined his fingers throughout mine. "Please forgive me." He looked at me with those gorgeous sexy eyes, but no words came from my mouth. "Phoebe?"
"Jim...I...It's just..." I took in a deep and slow breath as I reorganized my thoughts and then squeezed his hands. I had to handle this situation very carefully. "Jim...I can't lie and say that I still don't have feelings for you..." I started, and I saw him smile at me.
"I knew it Phoebe, I knew it," he said, reaching over to pull me closer to him, but I quickly held out my hands to stop him and shook my head.
"I do still have feelings for you...but it has to end. Jim...Don't you get it? In these past months since I've known you and been away from you...I've changed. I...I don't want to depend on drugs anymore...and that means I don't want to depend on you either. I...I just want to go home...to my sisters..." I felt tears fall down my cheeks as I said this and caught a surprised and frustrated look in Jim's eyes. Oh God, I hope he doesn't hurt me.
"Phoebe...they still have you brainwashed, don't they?!" he said angrily, and I shook my head in protest. "Yes...well, don't worry. Tonight I'll fix it. I've got a special dose just for you, and after you've had it, you'll be begging to stay with me." I looked at Jim with fear as he got up and left the room. Oh God...
"Phoebe?" Minutes later I was lying back on the bed trying to rest my head when I heard Matt call my name. He had entered the room with a tray of food, and it was then that I realized that I hadn't eaten all day. Still...considering the situation, I actually wasn't very hungry at all. I closed my eyes after he entered and tried to ignore him...but he was more persistent then I would have thought. "C'mon Phoebe, open your eyes. I know you're awake. With a gash like that on your head, I'm sure you're in too much pain to fall asleep anyway." He was right. I was trying to rest my head, but it continued to throb and I wasn't getting any sleep. My best bet would have been to stand up and start walking around...then maybe I'd at least faint into unconsciousness. Giving up, I opened my eyes and allowed Matt to help me sit up. "I'm sorry about your head...but you know you shouldn't make Jim mad." I sighed and looked down at the food Matt had sat on my lap. It was a ham sandwich and some chips, along with a glass of water.
"Thanks," I said, motioning to the food, "But I'm not hungry."
"C'mon, you have to eat. You need to keep your strength up." I stared at the food for a while and then looked up at Matt.
"Matt...Please, can you help me? I have to get out of here...I need to get in touch with my sisters-"
"Wait a minute," he interrupted. "The last time I saw you, you had snuck out of the house and away from your sisters. You hated them! Now you're telling me that you need them? What is wrong with you?"
"Th-things have changed," I said softly as I looked down at my arms. "Do you see these scars?" I asked, holding them up for Matt to see. "I don't want to do this anymore. I want a normal healthy life."
"I'm sorry babe, but you're not getting it. You're with Jim, and that's the way it will stay until he gets tired of you. I can't help you out, or he'll cut me off from the stuff, and I need it to get by. You use to need it too, didn't you? After you get another taste, I'm sure you'll be singing a different tune." I looked at Matt with pleading eyes, but he just patted me on the arms and handed me two Advil. "Take this, you'll feel better," he said, and then he left me. As soon as he was gone I downed the medicine and surveyed the room. All of the windows were boarded up, and any attempt of escape would be heard through the thin walls. I...I was trapped. I considered crying some more, but it was just giving me a headache, so I decided to try and eat. I slowly nibbled on my sandwich and then my thoughts turned to home...I yearned to be in my sisters' arms right now...with them telling me that everything was going to be all right. I'd probably never see them again. I knew that once hooked on Jim's drugs, I wouldn't be able to separate from him. I wasn't strong enough to go through withdraw again...I wouldn't be strong enough to leave him. I sat trying to eat for a while, but I eventually pushed the food away and laid back. The medicine was taking effect, and the pounding in my head was lessening. I wanted out of the world I was in...I wanted to escape. So...I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to overcome me.
"Phoebe?" I heard a far off voice and slowly came to my senses. Where...Oh...I was in an old little house with Jim...I remember. I blinked a few times to wake myself up and then looked over to see that it was Jim who had shaken me awake. The clock said nine...I had been sleeping for a while. "Phoebe, babe, you awake?" he asked, and I watched as he sat down next to me on the bed.
"Yeah..." I whispered and shuddered when he rubbed my back with his firm strong hands. No Phoebe...don't give in...don't...
"C'mon, let me help you up." I allowed Jim to help me into a sitting position and looked at him questionably. "Phoebe...It's time to make you mine again." At his statement I just starred without blinking and made no movement. I had to face reality...there was nothing I could do...So I might as well just give in now. I nodded my defeat and held out my shaking arm. He took it gently and rubbed his fingers over it. It was then that I saw the large needle sitting in his lap. My eyes went wide at the sight of it as my body started to shake uncontrollably. No...no...not again...Tears came to my eyes as he reached for the needle with his right hand and held my arm firmly with his left. Slowly, he brought the cool medal to my skin and...there. The drugs were injected, and he put my arm down gently while waiting for it to take effect. I knew it was over. The familiar feeling nagged at me until I allowed myself to enjoy it, and I slowly gave in to the chemicals.
"Jim..." I said, trying a last attempt at protest, but it was too late.
"Shhh," he said softly, climbing into bed next to me. "Everything is going to be okay now. Just relax...I'm here." I didn't respond as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Babe...Tell me you love me," he said passionately as he started to kiss me along the neck. By that time, I was too far gone to disobey orders. Things were back to the way they were before.
"I...love you," I said softly, and allowed Jim to reacquaint himself with me.
My eyes opened the next morning, only to be welcomed with a massive headache. My vision was blurred somewhat, so I closed them again to clear my head, and then tried to focus on my surroundings. Uhh...I felt somewhat woozy. Looking around, I saw that Jim wasn't in sight, so I made my way to the bathroom. Once there, I shut and locked the door and fell to the ground. What had happened? Looking down, I saw a mark on my arm and remembered that Jim had given me a special dose last night...That explained why I really had no memory of what had happened...Still, I could guess. I groaned, holding my stomach for comfort, and reached over to turn the shower on. I didn't feel well at all...after my body was getting use to life without drugs, this had to happened and put my whole system out of whack again. Very slowly, I stood up from my place on the floor and climbed into the shower. Upon the water hitting my face I yelped in pain and brought my hand up to the side of my head. Oh yeah...I had almost forgotten the gash that Jim and given me the other night. Wincing in pain, I pulled off the bandages and placed a cool washcloth on it before continuing with my shower. I let the warm water wash over me as I breathed deeply...but it didn't work. Seconds later I started to sob and dropped to the shower's floor. I stayed there sobbing as the water rushed over me, just as the hope of a normal life washed over me and down the drain as well. Still sobbing, I managed to get up and clean myself up a bit. When I emerged from the shower I noticed that Jim had laid out some fresh bandages on the counter and that my bag was on the floor. I hadn't noticed them when I came in, but then again my vision hadn't been 100% as I had stumbled into the bathroom earlier. I quickly put on my jeans and a shirt before brushing my teeth and carefully brushing my hair. I had to be extra careful around the gash on my head, for the cut went at least one inch into my hairline. After brushing my hair and putting it into a ponytail I dealt with my cut. By the time I was finished I felt very woozy and my head was throbbing. I slowly unlocked the door and shuffled over to the bed. Sighing with relief, I laid down and closed my eyes. I woke with a jolt when I felt something sliding up and down my back. Rolling over, I saw that it was Jim, rubbing my back to wake me up gently. He was holding a plate of food but just the sight of it made me feel sick. I rolled back over and shut my eyes.
"Hungry?" he asked, and I grunted in reply. "C'mon Phoebe," he insisted, and I rolled back over and slowly sat up. Jim sat down next to me and set the tray of food down in front of us near the end of the bed. I stared at the food, but then looked over at him. Despite the circumstances, I couldn't help noticing how cute he was with his ruffled hair and a slight grin on his face. Is this really the man that I'm running from? The man that I want to leave behind?
"Jim...I can't, I don't feel well," I said as he leaned closer towards me and put his arm around my shoulder.
"You must feel better after last night," he said, smiling at me with mischief, but I ignored him. Still...I couldn't lie to myself. The high that was obtained from that dose of drugs...It was something that my body had been yearning for, ever since rehab. "I was right wasn't I? Do you feel better now?" I still didn't say anything, but eventually turned to face Jim.
"I don't remember most of last night," I started. "But...the high I was on...it was so familiar...and something my body had been wanting for a long time. The thing is...now I don't think I'll ever be able to give it up." I looked sadly at Jim, but he just continued to smile.
"That's good babe. That means you'll never be able to give me up, and I want to stay holding you forever." I sighed as he put his other arm around me and kissed me passionately on the mouth. Yeah...he really was a good kisser. I smiled at this thought, as part of me wanted to believe that I could get use to this lifestyle again. The other part of me...well, all I could think of was Prue, Piper, and the life they had given me. It could have developed to much more...but it was over now. I guess there was no use thinking about things that could never come to be. Closing my eyes, I gave all I had into Jim's kiss and smiled a little when he pulled away. I did feel a little better... "You try to eat and get some rest," Jim told me, and I watched as he got up and left the room. I looked over to see that it was already twelve o'clock, and then looked down at the sandwich in front of me. I did try to eat...Part of me said that I had to keep up my strength if I even had a chance of escaping...The other part had no hope, and didn't really care one way or the other if I ate or starved. An hour later I picked up my half eaten sandwich and opened the bedroom door into the main room. No one was there, so I slowly made my way to the kitchen to throw my food away. Upon entering I saw Matt sitting at the kitchen table with a magazine and a beer. He looked up as I entered and watched as I made my way to the trashcan.
"Finally up?" he asked as he pulled out a chair for me to sit down. I wanted to ignore him, but then thought better of it. I didn't want to make him angry...and he could give me some info that I wanted to know.
"Yeah," I replied as I sat down and took the Advil that he was handing to me. My head was throbbing. We sat in silence for a while, and as I stared at the floor thinking of what to say next I could feel Matt staring at me. "So, Matt..." I said, trying to break the silence. "Where did Jim go?" I looked up at him and he smiled at me.
"He went to take care of some business." Okay...was that all? I needed more info.
"What kind of business?" I asked. "Will he be back soon? I miss him already." I added that last part in for good measure, hoping that Matt would think I was a fully changed woman and that he'd give me more info. I was right.
"Well, we need transportation to New York. This is the house that I use when I'm down here. Numerous associates of Jim have stayed here. It's out of public view and considered a safe house among the men that visit San Francisco. After contacting you I stayed here for a while until I could get safe transportation back to New York. Jim is out now talking with some friends of his trying to pull some strings. We'll be on a plane out of here as soon as we can ." I nodded and took a sip of the beer Matt handed me. What the hell, I could use it. I nodded my thanks and took the rest of the beer into the other room. Matt's blanket and pillow were still on the couch from the other night, so I shoved them aside and sat down as I took another swig of beer. After setting my beer down on the floor I reached over for the TV remote and turned on the little television that was facing the couch. Every station was fuzz...I flipped and flipped and flipped, and nothing came on. Realizing that I had started watching on channel 3, I turned the TV to channel two and smiled when a picture came up, fuzzy, but nonetheless a picture. Turning the volume up a little, I listened to the newscaster.
"In other news, we have a missing persons report. A Miss. Phoebe Halliwell from San Francisco disappeared from her home last night on Prescott Street. The police are asking if anyone knows anything to contact them immediately..." I stared at the screen in shock as a picture of me came up and watched as that police officer from before...Darryl. He was talking about me...my sisters...the search that was being done and the number to call if anyone knew anything...1-800-P-O-L-I-C-E-1...
"Hey!" I looked up and saw Matt charging towards me. I moved out of his way as he grabbed the remote, but he stopped when he looked to the TV. His eyes opened wide as he saw my picture on the news and took in what he was seeing. "Go into the bedroom!" he barked, but I just stared at him, unsure of what was happening. Had they really not expected my sisters to fight to find me? "NOW!" he said sharply, and I quickly got up and ran into the bedroom. At least I knew they were looking for me...my sisters sure didn't waste any time. Still...Even if they did find me, how would my life be? I was already craving more of what Jim had given me last night...could I live without him again? I honestly didn't know. I listened closely by the door and heard Matt pacing around the room with the TV on low so I wouldn't be able to here. He was talking to someone...probably Jim. My mind went through ways to get to a phone and call the police hotline...but then I thought of last night and the drugs going through my system. Was I strong enough to leave? In the end I decided to lay down and get some rest. My head still hurt, but the Advil was starting to kick in and I wanted at least an hour of sleep. So, yet again, I laid down on the bed and fell into a restless slumber.
"Phoebe..." I heard a distant voice as everything began to shake and I slowly opened my eyes. I stared up into the eyes of Jim and I smiled halfheartedly when I saw him. I really just wanted to sleep...to get away from the cravings and the chemicals running throughout me. "Phoebe, babe, wake up," he said, and I awoke fully and sat up.
"What is it?" I asked, and he smiled at me. "C'mon, we're on the move." I just kind of nodded as I looked around and saw Matt gathering up all of our stuff. Jim helped me to my feet and walked me outside. To my surprise, I saw a different van parked out front, but I didn't say anything as Jim put me in the back seat and got in the front. Matt was in the driver's seat two minutes later and I looked out the window as we left the little house.
"Phoebe." I looked over to see that Jim had crawled next to me and had already slid another needle into my arm. I looked at him uneasily, but in a few minutes I started to feel woozy and like my head was up in the clouds. "Lay down and be quiet," Jim told me as he shoved my head down and in response I quickly laid down on the seat. Everything went dark as Jim threw a blanket over me and went back up to sit in the front. I wanted to sit up and protest, but the drugs inside of me made me feel laidback and I decided that it was nice under the blanket. I closed my eyes and watched colors flash before me...blue, black, orange, purple...I almost laughed at them, but decided against making any noise. Instead, I stayed quiet and allowed my body to accept and take pleasure in the drugs that were inside of me.
The next thing I knew the car had stopped and I could hear Matt and Jim talking quietly. Where were we...? What time was it...? I felt confused as I remembered the needle Jim had slid into my arm and then knew that it was all over. Soon I'd be back in New York with Jim...and I wouldn't be able to run away. I sat in silence for a moment, breathing quietly as I tried to listen to what Jim and Matt were saying.
"...But is it safe?" I heard Jim ask.
"Yeah, you two go around back and I'll go check in the front. They didn't mention my name on the TV or show a picture of me. I'll let you two in the back entrance." I listened as Matt got out of the van and Jim started driving it around the back. When it stopped, I decided to speak up.
"Jim...What time is it?" I asked quietly, and I blinked when he pulled the blanket off of me. The lights from the car were blaring next to the darkness coming form outside.
"It's ten o'clock, and we're still in Nevada. We're staying here the night, and I don't want you to make any trouble, do you understand?" He talked to me harshly, but also softly like I was a little kid. I didn't understand how he could do both at once...but then again, maybe it was the drugs making me hear things. I just nodded at him and watched as he took the key out of the ignition and came around the side to get me. I allowed myself to lean up against him for support and we made our way over to the back entrance. two minutes later Matt opened the door and gave Jim the extra key. Then, he propped the door open and went out to the van to get our stuff. Meanwhile, Jim and I made our way up the stairs and to our room on the second floor. We were in a crummy little motel room with two small beds and a little bathroom. That was all I noticed before Jim threw me down onto the bed. "Stay there and don't move," he ordered, and I didn't dare to even lift my head and look around. I could hear Jim rummaging around in the bathroom when Matt came through the door. He shoved my bag at me, and I took this as a sign that I was allowed to at least sit up. I did so, and took in the rest of the little room. There was a small TV across from the beds and on the dresser in between the beds there was a clock and a telephone. At the sight of the phone my tiny ounce of hope soared...but then I realized that even if I could make the phone call without being caught, Jim would find out after he checked out...and then there might not be much left of me even if I was found. I gulped at this thought and looked over when Jim came out of the bathroom. He motioned that I should use it, so I quickly went in with my bag and shut the door. Stupid bathroom...it didn't even have a lock...but I guess it was alright. Wanting to hurry, I turned the shower on right away and jumped in after taking my head bandage off. The cool water refreshed me and helped bring me back to my senses as I tried to shrug off the effects of the drugs Jim had given me earlier this morning. Five minutes later I turned the water off and dried myself. Picking up the comfortable clothes that I had been wearing the night Jim took me, I put them on and then dealt with the gash in my head. It seemed to be healing, but it was still giving me headaches...I just hoped nothing serious was wrong. After brushing my teeth and my hair I felt refreshed. Still...there had to be a way to leave some sort of message for the maid or someone to find. Tearing off a piece of toilet paper, I picked up a pen that was in the trash can and wrote down the police hotline. I wrote my name underneath it and then the words New York and airplane. Feeling confident, I put the paper underneath a bar of soap that I had used and then rewrapped in the motel paper. The maid would go to throw the soap away and see it. I prayed that Jim or Matt wouldn't see my message and then hurried out of the bathroom. Matt was gone and Jim was sitting on a bed with nothing on except his boxers.
"Where'd Matt go?" I asked as I sat down on the bed and Jim immediately pulled me close to him.
"He went to make sure our arrangements are final and to get a few beers," Jim responded, and I nodded.
"What arrangement?" I asked. Jim looked at me as to question if I was trustworthy, so I just smiled at him and he gave in.
"We're flying out of here tomorrow morning back to New York." He smiled as he said this and slowly stroked my hair. Still slightly high on the drugs, I didn't resist. Twenty minutes later Matt returned and I downed a beer before sliding under the covers with Jim. I felt exhausted.
TO BE CONTINUED...