I'm back. Again.
Tarock: Tarock is orc? Orc s like 'Sue death? Then Tarock should like Number Twelve!
Writer From Rivendell: Yes, I've seen 31 Ways. It's not quite the same principle, but I may end up looking there for ideas. Of course, with the eight good ideas I've just received from you, that won't be for some time yet.
Ooh! Blood!: Yes, Treebeard. Big stompy trees making 'Sues go SPLAT!
Kyma: I'm glad you like it. But who is Alexandra Speirs, please?
Malfoyelf: Why would the Fellowship care? Oh Valar . . . imagine what would happen if the Mary Sues and the fangirls joined forces. AIEE! Yeah, well, you can't expect too much creativity. If they tried for a plot, it might reduce the number of Legolusting paragraphs. Ooh, multi 'Sue death. I'll think about it.
Bilbo-san: Nice idea. Maybe.
El loco uno: Yay! I'm glad you like it! Ooh, cookie.
Tindomiel: I'm glad you like it. Good ideas, I'll have to remember them.
Elanhin: I'm glad you like it! I get . . . uh, several reviews a day. Not sure how many. But on some of my stories, I get one per chapter. It's just picking the right subject, really.
Legolas-lover-baby: Ah, posession. Well, actually, many of the characters are possessed. Aragorn down in no. 13, for example. Ugh, I hate that one. And yes, I'll update Pancakes.
Liliac (fangirl in training): Ooh, 'Sue burning. When I come up with a good excuse, I'll burn some 'Sues.
TriggerHappyElfing: Ah, pushing 'Sues off walls. Fun. I think the name came from a character called Mary Sue in some story or another, who was oh-so-perfect. Evil. I'll take that name and alter it a bit, 'cos I'm running out of ideas.
Rosa: Yay! A Cassanova-Sue! Elrond can kill her, just for the hell of it.
And now for more 'Sue splatting: Numbers Eleven to Fifteen
Number Eleven: The Emyn Muil
Elenitari Morningstar lay awake at the foot of the Emyn Muil. Beside her, Frodo and Sam rested, exhausted after their long voyage.Elenitari looked up at the stars and waited.
Suddenly she heard a voice, muttering. The long hisses that punctuated the monologue gave her all the information she needed. This was Gollum, and he was after the ring. Standing silently, she slipped behind a rock.
The creature came down the cliff like some sort of insect. Just as his hands settled around Frodo's throat, Elentari leapt onto his back. The the onetime hobbit still had some strength in him, however. Reaching back, he effortlessly snapped her thin neck.
Number Twelve: Orcs!
The orc horde came upon them without warning. As Legolas reached for his bow, Gimli for his axe and Aragorn and Boromir for their swords, Lightlife Aldenhoft leapt into the approaching army, her knives flashing.
The first orc she came to, however, was completely unfair and ducked. As she tried to recover from her wild lunge, he swung his heavy sword around and snapped her spine, spilling blood everywhere.
The rest of the Fellowship watched as the undisciplined orcs fell on the corpse. Then, not wishing to lose this advantage, the Nine Walkers slipped away into the forest.
Number Thirteen: The The Anger of Arwen [I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry]
Klikenana Morenatica lay on the soft bed in Rivendell, basking in the warm glow of leftover hormones. Beside her lay Aragorn.
After hours of making mad passionate love to her, the man had finally gone to sleep, leaving her with her arms around him, her head pressed against his chest. She sighed in bliss, and then felt the touch of cold steel at her throat. As her hot blood stained the sheets, she had time to wonder what had gone wrong before all went black.
Arwen stood and, with a grim smile, began to clean her sword, all the while staring at the corpse on the bed. "No one," she said softly, "steals *my* beloved."
Number Fourteen: Flight to the Ford
Briannatanna Viscusiwen, the second daughter of Elrond, rushed out to the stables. That sexy Estel was coming to Rivendell, and she had to go and rescue him from the Black Riders!
As she leapt onto a white horse, she heard a voice from the shadows. "I think you'll find that's *my * horse, child. Not to mention my mission." With these words, Glorfindel stepped out, and shot her with an arrow. Straight through the head.
The body slumped to the ground, and Glorfindel leapt up onto Asfaloth and whispered, "Go." The pair disappeared, leaving the elf corpse slumped on the ground.
Number Fifteen: Flight to the Ford Mark II
Melianora Pyronanda turned her horse to look back across the river. The Black Riders were assembled on the other shore and, as she watched, begant to move forward. Quickly, she began chanting.
The waters of the Bruinen began to rise. Then, suddenly, a great flood came down, washing away the nine ebony horses. Too late, Melianora realised that she had stayed too near the bank of the river herself. She urged her horse up the bank, and it seemed she would make it, but at the last moment she fell off.
As Frodo, slumped on the horse, moved on towards Rivendell, Melianora was swept away, smashed against rocks and water like the Nazgul before her.
* * * *
And now I'm going to go and apply disinfectant to my brain after what I had to write for Number Thirteen. Please leave a review to assure me it wasn't completely wasted.
hS
Tarock: Tarock is orc? Orc s like 'Sue death? Then Tarock should like Number Twelve!
Writer From Rivendell: Yes, I've seen 31 Ways. It's not quite the same principle, but I may end up looking there for ideas. Of course, with the eight good ideas I've just received from you, that won't be for some time yet.
Ooh! Blood!: Yes, Treebeard. Big stompy trees making 'Sues go SPLAT!
Kyma: I'm glad you like it. But who is Alexandra Speirs, please?
Malfoyelf: Why would the Fellowship care? Oh Valar . . . imagine what would happen if the Mary Sues and the fangirls joined forces. AIEE! Yeah, well, you can't expect too much creativity. If they tried for a plot, it might reduce the number of Legolusting paragraphs. Ooh, multi 'Sue death. I'll think about it.
Bilbo-san: Nice idea. Maybe.
El loco uno: Yay! I'm glad you like it! Ooh, cookie.
Tindomiel: I'm glad you like it. Good ideas, I'll have to remember them.
Elanhin: I'm glad you like it! I get . . . uh, several reviews a day. Not sure how many. But on some of my stories, I get one per chapter. It's just picking the right subject, really.
Legolas-lover-baby: Ah, posession. Well, actually, many of the characters are possessed. Aragorn down in no. 13, for example. Ugh, I hate that one. And yes, I'll update Pancakes.
Liliac (fangirl in training): Ooh, 'Sue burning. When I come up with a good excuse, I'll burn some 'Sues.
TriggerHappyElfing: Ah, pushing 'Sues off walls. Fun. I think the name came from a character called Mary Sue in some story or another, who was oh-so-perfect. Evil. I'll take that name and alter it a bit, 'cos I'm running out of ideas.
Rosa: Yay! A Cassanova-Sue! Elrond can kill her, just for the hell of it.
And now for more 'Sue splatting: Numbers Eleven to Fifteen
Number Eleven: The Emyn Muil
Elenitari Morningstar lay awake at the foot of the Emyn Muil. Beside her, Frodo and Sam rested, exhausted after their long voyage.Elenitari looked up at the stars and waited.
Suddenly she heard a voice, muttering. The long hisses that punctuated the monologue gave her all the information she needed. This was Gollum, and he was after the ring. Standing silently, she slipped behind a rock.
The creature came down the cliff like some sort of insect. Just as his hands settled around Frodo's throat, Elentari leapt onto his back. The the onetime hobbit still had some strength in him, however. Reaching back, he effortlessly snapped her thin neck.
Number Twelve: Orcs!
The orc horde came upon them without warning. As Legolas reached for his bow, Gimli for his axe and Aragorn and Boromir for their swords, Lightlife Aldenhoft leapt into the approaching army, her knives flashing.
The first orc she came to, however, was completely unfair and ducked. As she tried to recover from her wild lunge, he swung his heavy sword around and snapped her spine, spilling blood everywhere.
The rest of the Fellowship watched as the undisciplined orcs fell on the corpse. Then, not wishing to lose this advantage, the Nine Walkers slipped away into the forest.
Number Thirteen: The The Anger of Arwen [I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry]
Klikenana Morenatica lay on the soft bed in Rivendell, basking in the warm glow of leftover hormones. Beside her lay Aragorn.
After hours of making mad passionate love to her, the man had finally gone to sleep, leaving her with her arms around him, her head pressed against his chest. She sighed in bliss, and then felt the touch of cold steel at her throat. As her hot blood stained the sheets, she had time to wonder what had gone wrong before all went black.
Arwen stood and, with a grim smile, began to clean her sword, all the while staring at the corpse on the bed. "No one," she said softly, "steals *my* beloved."
Number Fourteen: Flight to the Ford
Briannatanna Viscusiwen, the second daughter of Elrond, rushed out to the stables. That sexy Estel was coming to Rivendell, and she had to go and rescue him from the Black Riders!
As she leapt onto a white horse, she heard a voice from the shadows. "I think you'll find that's *my * horse, child. Not to mention my mission." With these words, Glorfindel stepped out, and shot her with an arrow. Straight through the head.
The body slumped to the ground, and Glorfindel leapt up onto Asfaloth and whispered, "Go." The pair disappeared, leaving the elf corpse slumped on the ground.
Number Fifteen: Flight to the Ford Mark II
Melianora Pyronanda turned her horse to look back across the river. The Black Riders were assembled on the other shore and, as she watched, begant to move forward. Quickly, she began chanting.
The waters of the Bruinen began to rise. Then, suddenly, a great flood came down, washing away the nine ebony horses. Too late, Melianora realised that she had stayed too near the bank of the river herself. She urged her horse up the bank, and it seemed she would make it, but at the last moment she fell off.
As Frodo, slumped on the horse, moved on towards Rivendell, Melianora was swept away, smashed against rocks and water like the Nazgul before her.
* * * *
And now I'm going to go and apply disinfectant to my brain after what I had to write for Number Thirteen. Please leave a review to assure me it wasn't completely wasted.
hS