Beautiful Stranger, Part 1
Hitomi eyed her boyfriend, Allen carefully as they both sipped at their drinks.
They were in the downtown of the next city over at an outdoor café. They had done this many times before. Allen enjoyed dates of simplicity, just hanging out at the mall or merely walking down the boardwalk. Hitomi had quickly adjusted to his style, being in love with him.
But something was wrong. Hitomi could feel it in the way Allen drummed his fingertips upon the surface of the table and how his eyes flicked up at her and then back down again.
Sighing, Hitomi placed her cup on the table.
"Okay, Allen, what's the real reason you called me out here," she said, trying to keep her voice even. Over the past few weeks, the seeds of suspicion had been planted in Hitomi. At school, her friends whispered of kisses and romantic gazes shared by Allen and a certain blonde girl. At first Hitomi wouldn't believe it. Sure, Allen was popular and a real romantic when he was around girls. When she first started dating him, Hitomi couldn't believe her luck that such a popular guy would choose her, a quiet girl of no popularity, as his girlfriend.
But as time went by, Hitomi found that she couldn't ignore the rumors anymore. The evidence was right in front of her. She could see the way Allen sneaked glances at that girl Millerna and the way she winked back with that look, a look that sympathized with him because he was tied down with a gawky girl like Hitomi. Yet as the weeks went by, Allen didn't make a move to break up with Hitomi, so she thought that it was all over. Yet she could still see those little signs. Allen's attention was drawing away from her. Hitomi didn't want to break up with him. Being with Allen gave her confidence, she felt beautiful when Allen gazed at her.
Then again, those gazes had disappeared already.
Allen twitched uncomfortably under Hitomi's stare. Hitomi felt the boiling water of tension rise up. She knew he wanted to end their relationship now but he didn't. Hitomi knew it was because he was sensitive to her feelings and didn't want to stab her in the back. This comforted Hitomi because it showed he still had some feelings for her. Allen was a true gentleman. But at the same time, she hated him for his gentlemanliness. It was eating her inside to be with a guy who didn't love her anymore. Why couldn't he just break up with her and be done with it? The sooner Hitomi was exposed to pain, the sooner the pain would go away. It would be better that way.
"Well?" Hitomi asked, her voice a sharp edge.
Then again, maybe she should have broken up with him first. Hitomi did have a right to do that. Then Allen would go to his Millerna and be happy. But the reason she didn't do it was because she knew that she would sink down into the earth while Allen flew away into the heavens, never to be by her side again, she could be alone. And the worst part would be that she had brought it down on herself. Selfishly, Hitomi still held on to the daydream that maybe Allen would forget Millerna and things would be normal again. That was the main reason she couldn't do it. Yes, it was better if Allen did the deed.
Finally, Allen stopped wasting time and set his cup down as well. But he merely said, "I'll take you home, Hitomi."
Hitomi quickly stood up to cover up her dumbfounded face. Why couldn't he just get it over with already?
They walked to his car and climbed in. The first few minutes of driving were in silence, each waiting for the other to speak first. Hitomi detested this silence, but she wasn't going to relent first.
In the end, Allen blew out his breath slowly. "Hitomi," he began.
"Yes?"
Allen stiffened at her voice, startled by her interruption. He took a deep breath.
"You know I care about you," he said carefully. "But well…"
Hitomi looked out the window so that he wouldn't see her biting her lip, keeping a scream in.
Allen tightened his grip on the wheel. Suddenly, he turned offensive. "I don't know why you're still with me, Hitomi. Anyone can see that my feelings for you aren't what they used to be. You're not blind. You're a sharp girl, Hitomi, that's why I liked you in the first place."
Hitomi glanced sideways at this comment. You're a sharp girl, he had said.
"How can you still sit there knowing this? I know I'm hurting you yet you still refuse to change. It's killing me Hitomi!" Allen exclaimed.
Beads of wetness were beginning to form in her eyes. Hitomi closed her eyes briefly but the tears didn't stop.
"I think we both know that our relationship should have ended a long time ago. Everyone in the goddamn school of ours knows that! But you still won't let go of me, you still hold on. I don't understand it."
The boiling inside bubbled. Hitomi slowly turned her head to stare at her boyfriend. Was that pain in his voice?
Allen flinched at the intensity of her stare but continued.
"So let's just end it now shall we?" Allen finished with a sigh of relief.
The boiling burst. Hitomi looked down at her hand. Allen waited nervously as she clenched it into a fist.
With a growl, Hitomi slammed her fist at on the dashboard.
"I don't believe you," she snarled. "Why don't you just go out and say it? You like Millerna! Don't pin the blame on me. I'm not the unfaithful one! We both know it all started with your crush on her, that slutty bitch!"
"Hey," Allen protested. "She's not-"
"You're still talking?" Hitomi shouted angrily. "You're making sound as if it were my fault you're breaking up with me. It's your own fault!"
"Well if you knew than why didn't you break up with me first?" Allen yelled back.
"Because I still liked you, you bastard!" Hitomi shrieked. Why did he have to be such a dumbass? Why of all times did he have to be stupid now? "I can't stand this anymore. Let me out," she ordered, putting a hand on the door.
"What are you talking about?" Allen said through gritted teeth. "I'm driving you home. It's the least I can do right?"
"I don't want to spend another minute in this god damn car with you," Hitomi told him coldly. "Let me out!"
"Hitomi…" Allen locked the doors. "How will you get home? We're miles away from your house."
"I'll get a ride," Hitomi hissed. She unlocked the door.
"Give it up. I'm bringing you home," Allen said firmly.
"Fine then!" Hitomi shrieked. As Allen slowed near a stop sign, Hitomi opened the door.
"Good bye, Allen. Fuck you," Hitomi said icily. As the car began to move she leaped out of the car, slamming the door behind her, the car speeding away.
Dusting herself off, Hitomi went back onto the sidewalk and walked back downtown. Surprisingly, they hadn't gone very far away from the shops. Only a few blocks.
At the same time that Hitomi began to cross the street, a tall, raven-haired man dashed down the block. Looking behind him, he did not see the hoards of screaming girls stampeding his way but that meant nothing. In his experience, they always somehow found him eventually.
And then suddenly, his sensitive ears picked up the sounds of cheering in the distance. He couldn't here exactly what they were saying but he wasn't taking any chances. He increased his speed and pretty soon the scenery around was just a blur.
He zipped down the street…
Hitomi was only have way down the street when something hard knocked into her. Arms flaying, Hitomi gasped as she fell to the ground, right in front of the intersection. She screamed as the sight of a car that suddenly looked huge and menacing sped down the street toward her. Quickly, Hitomi scooted out of the car's way and then moved again as another car honked at her. She hurriedly dashed to the sidewalk for her life.
He felt something warm and soft bump into him. When he reached the sidewalk, he turned around to see that certain warm and soft thing lying on the street.
'OH NO I KILLED HER!!!' he thought panicky. 'I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry,' he began to think, hoping that her soul would here.
But to his relief, the girl picked herself up and somehow made it to the sidewalk.
Hitomi instantly picked out the raven-haired man as the one who knocked her down. The boiling feeling inside had calmed as she was walking but now it heated again.
"I'm really sorry, miss," he started immediately. "Are you alright? Any cuts or bruises?"
"What the fuck is the matter with you?" she yelled in his face, cheeks red with anger. Hitomi didn't wait for an answer. "You nearly killed me! I could have been killed! Why can't you look where you're going?"
"Um…" the man said as Hitomi kept ranting. "Look I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "Can I help you with anything? You're not hurt are you?" he asked, genuinely concerned
Suddenly, Hitomi felt exhausted. All this in one day…it suddenly just too much. Her face sagged tiredly as she turned away from the man.
"Could you please just leave me alone?" she snapped. She wondered off a few paces to a grassy courtyard nearby and sat down on the grass with a thump. Hitomi hugged her knees to her chest and looked up to the sky, wondering what she did to deserve such a bad day.
There were some crunching sounds behind her and the raven-haired man sat down next to her.
"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone? Get the hell away," Hitomi told him. But it was in a half-hearted tone, she was just saying it in her anger.
"Look," the man said. Then he stopped, look what? What could he say? After some thought, he relented and decided to tell her the truth. "My name is Van," he told her. "Please, I nearly killed you. Let me help you."
Hitomi's ears pricked at the name. Van. Where had she heard it before? Disregarding that thought, Hitomi said back to him, "I'm Hitomi."
"Pleased to meet you, Miss Hitomi," Van said. He watched her face carefully. Good, he thought, satisfied. She had not suddenly screamed gleefully nor did she appear to be in love with him. Very good.
"I'm really very sorry for knocking you down," said Van. "Is there anything wrong? Are you hurt?"
Hitomi gave a dry laugh. It hit her that she had been in shock over the break up in Allen's car. All she had thought was that he was blaming it on her for the break up and how wrong he was for implying that. Now she could see that he did have a point. Hitomi had never said anything about Millerna. It was because of her cowardice that the pain had to be this way.
It was funny really. The tears in her eyes had disappeared, perhaps with the shock of almost being killed. Her eyes were perfectly dry.
"Yes, I am hurt," Hitomi said. "I'm hurting from heartburn."
"Really? You heart problems? Is it your blood pressure?" Van asked fantic. Of all people he had to bump into, it had to be someone with heart problems? His luck was really going down today…
"No," Hitomi snapped. She clutched her knees even harder and sighed. Clearly, this Van person was not going to get off her back anytime soon.
"If you must know," she told him. "I just recently broke up with my boyfriend."
"Oh really? I'm so sorry!" Van cried sympathetically. And then he began to sing a brief melody.
Hitomi stared at him in disbelief. "What are you doing?"
"Hm? Oh." Van laughed sheepishly. "I did it again. Sometimes songs just pop into my head and start singing unconsciously. I just thought up a song about breakups. It was a very nice song too if I do say so myself." Then he froze. AH!!! You idiot! About breakups? Why did you tell her that?
But Hitomi didn't seem emotionally traumatized. She shrugged. "You don't have to act in front of me. It was really recent. Just less than an hour ago."
"Oh, really?"
Awkward silence.
"So…" Hitomi said
Then suddenly Van cringed and dove behind Hitomi. Hitomi frowned at the ducking man.
"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded.
Van pointed behind her. Twisting around, Hitomi caught sight of a pack of rapidly moving girls, each caring an assortment of cds, posters, t-shirts…all bearing the image of Van. She gave him a suspicious look.
"So what happened to you recently?" Hitomi asked. She wasn't quite sure why she was still talking to Van, a perfect stranger. The answer came quickly: it wasn't as if she had anything else to do. In fact, she quite liked him. He was a good listener.
"Ah, well…" Van began to twiddle his thumbs nervously. Hitomi sighed and shook out her hand. Van flinched as a fist suddenly punched his shoulder. "Ow! What'd you do that for?"
Hitomi shrugged. She wasn't in a very nice mood now. She liked this mood. It gave her courage to be blunt and direct with people, even strangers. Hitomi hoped this mood would last before the pain of the breakup came over.
Van sighed when Hitomi didn't answer. "Well, you see," Van began. "I'm a musician, and a pretty good one at that," he added. Hitomi didn't react. She only raised an eyebrow telling him to go on. "People like my music you see, and I'm pretty popular, especially with girls for some reason-"
"You're a pop star." Hitomi confirmed. Ah, so that was why she recognized the name. Then realization dawned. "Oh! You're Van de Fanel, right?"
Van flinched. Well, there goes any possible normal conversation, straight out the window. "Maybe…" he said.
But then instead of leaping up and screaming and hugging him, Hitomi only had a thoughtful look on her features.
She remembered now. Her friends had gushed over Van de Fanel, eagerly pointing him out in magazines or TV concerts. Hitomi hadn't really cared. After listening to half a song, she had concluded that Van de Fanel was just one of those regular pop stars, famous for the moment, forgotten the next. She hadn't really taken it seriously. Meeting him in person didn't have much of an effect either.
"You were running pretty quickly…" she began.
"To get away from the crowds, yes," Van finished for her. "I'm really sorry for bumping into you," he said again. "I was in a hurry and I was panicking and-"
Hitomi hissed and punched the grass. "How many times do I have to say it? I'm fine! It's okay! Stop worrying about me, I don't even know you!"
Van relented and fell silent, deciding not to mention that it was actually the first time she confirmed her health. He watched her and detected the hurt and pain inside the girl.
Hitomi waited for him to walk away, fully aware of the fact that she was letting a celebrity go away. But the body warmth beside her didn't move. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. They both sat in silence.
Surprisingly, it was Hitomi who broke it first. "He was a really great guy," she murmured, staring at the trees above her.
"Who?" Van asked, puzzled.
"Allen was always nice to everybody, that's why everyone liked him so much. That's what made him popular. Well, that and his looks at least," Hitomi corrected herself. "But he was always flirting with girls, he dated some, flirted with others…and somehow he chose me. Geeky, little me. Little Hitomi who sat in the crowd, unnoticed by anyone who mattered."
"Oh, I see," Van said uncertainly, not sure how to respond.
"I should have known it wouldn't last," Hitomi commented. "We were in totally different social classes. It would never work, not ever with a guy like him. He was always looking around. He saw me, but how long did I really think it would last? And then he turned his eyes to that bitch."
Van stayed silent, letting her talk.
"That slut, Millerna. She played around with him behind my back. She knew I could see those little love letters in his locker, that stupid hand of hers brushing his arm…and her eyes, I hated her eyes. She would catch my gaze with one eye, laughing at me while her other eye winked at Allen.
"I knew Allen looked at her, he looked at her in the way he used to look at me. But he never made a move on her because of me, even though he desperately wanted to."
"So he still liked you a little, then," Van concluded.
Hitomi looked down almost sheepishly. "That didn't make sense. There was no reason for him to be attached to me anymore. I was nothing like those other girls he dated. I wasn't gorgeous, I didn't wear short skirts or skimpy tank tops. I don't even have big breasts!"
For some reason, Van's eyes slid down from her face to somewhere lower but Hitomi crossed her arms just in time.
"It doesn't make any sense!" she said again. Then she laughed dryly. "Well, then again, he did break up with me eventually. He finally got the nerve and broke up with me. The deed is done." Hitomi laughed again. "So what's your life story, Van?"
"Oh, I wrote a song one day and somebody liked it. That somebody turned out to be the president of a recording company and got me a contract. Then I showed him my other songs and recorded them and sold them. Then they were played all around the country and people liked them too and I got famous." Van stopped to take a breath. "Yeah, that's basically it."
"And then the crowds came right?"
"Don't remind me."
As Allen sped down the highway, his mind was in a constant battle. Should he have left Hitomi there, all alone? She deserved it, one part of his mind said. She could have said something and it would have been over a long time ago. Hitomi didn't know how to let go.
But she still liked me, another part argued. She would be devastated.
Well, she's devastated now isn't she?
Allen groaned in frustration. No matter how he looked at it, it was his actions, his faults that caused it all. How could he help but not notice Hitomi, that pretty girl who seemed to melt into the background? He had pulled her out before she completely mingled in and discovered a different girl. She was different from all the other girls he had dated, not only social status but in mind and body. Hitomi was witty, she could listen, she was smart. But Allen being Allen, he also noticed Millerna, a beautiful girl. But Hitomi never complained nor left him even though it was obvious that he liked Millerna. This had puzzled him so he stayed with Hitomi, just to see why she didn't let go. But the wires had twisted and wound round and round until the only way to unknot the situation was to just cut off Hitomi's strand of wire completely.
He pulled to the side and leaned on the driving wheel. Hitomi didn't deserve to be hurt this way, that was for sure.
Finally, he revved up the engine again and turned around, driving toward downtown.
Hitomi wondered once again at her irregular circumstances. They had exchanged cell phone numbers and email addresses, just for the hell of it. If any one of her friends were here, they would now be squealing and jumping for joy at her raven-haired company and flying over their heads now that she had a means of contacting him. But Hitomi couldn't care less about Van's fame, she didn't even listen to her music. It was apparent that Van was grateful for this, and he relaxed next to her.
Looking at her, the wheels in Van's mind began to churn up images and those images turned into words and the words into poetry. He wished desperately wished that he had a pen and paper to write down these lyrics but out of respect for Hitomi's pain, he decided that he could wait until later. The dark pain inside her reflected on her face, revealing a misty swirl of hurt and confusion.
Van couldn't stand that pain inside and decided that he would help this girl Hitomi and heal her pain.
"Maybe it'll help if you talk about it?" Van began.
"Talk about what?" Hitomi asked.
"Your breakup, the events that lead up to it, why it happened. Stuff like that."
Hitomi narrowed her eyes at him. "Why should I talk about it with you of all people?"
"Look at this way." Van shifted himself so that he faced Hitomi. "I'm a stranger to you, so that means I don't know any of the people that you talk about so you don't have to worry about me gossiping about you. I also don't know very much about the situation, which means you can start from the beginning and get out all the details so that we can examine the problem from all angles. And lastly, I'm a very good listener and I truly want to help you. If I can't help you, then we can both just walk away and forget about it because it won't matter since we don't really know each other." Well, she didn't know him. Van was beginning to get a clear picture of Hitomi's personality.
Hitomi nodded slowly. "That makes sense I guess…"
"Good. Now, start from the beginning," Van ordered.
A/N Actually, this fanfic is a figment of my daydreams. In my daydream, more or less the same thing that Hitomi goes through happens to me, ie I am in Hitomi's place and in Van's place is this foreign pop star that I scoff at or something like that. So that means yes, this fic is actually like a diary entry for me of my daydreams ^^; Well I hoped you like it and I apologize to Allen fans. Please review!