"You looked really upset, I just wanted to see if you were okay."
"I'm fine, I just…it was a mistake for me to go out to a club tonight so soon after…it was just a mistake."
"Okay, then why don't we go get some coffee, I know this great little place it's not that far from here."
Bianca looked down, she really didn't want to go home and have the empty house all to herself. "Sure, I'd love to."
They got to the little coffee shop and besides a bored looking employee it was empty.
"So your mother actually paid this girl to leave town?"
"Yeah, so Rain left and then…then there was Laura; she was just my friend and I broke the unwritten rule and fell in love with my straight friend, I thought maybe we could be something more but she didn't. That's when I met Frankie and I thought that maybe for once someone could love me back and I thought she did, and again I was wrong. She left town Christmas Eve and I haven't seen her since.
"But you want to."
"No, I don't. I—I never want to see Frankie again," as Bianca said it she hated her voice for trembling.
"I don't believe that and neither do you. You think that if you see her again you won't be able to stay angry at her. You'll forgive her and that scares you because you think you'll open your heart just to get it broken all over again."
"You know all of this from one conversation?"
"No, I know all of this from the look in your eyes when you say her name."
Frankie finished the can of beer and opened another one. "Here's to the New Year and all the shit that comes with it," she said raising the can up to the empty room. She lay back on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. She was so tired of her poor excuse for a life. With a frustrated sigh she got up and got dressed, she was going to party and have fun, no matter what it took. She went downstairs to the payphone and called Robby to ask him where the best party was. She scribbled the address on her hand and then walked through the streets of New York.
Five hours later she stumbled into her apartment and giggled as she tripped over her mattress and landed on the floor. Her giggles abruptly stopped when she clutched her stomach and threw up all over the floor, ignoring the stench she climbed on to her mattress and passed out.
The afternoon brought with it unpleasant surprises. As she woke up she clenched her pounding head wondering how she could still be alive with all the pain in her head. She stumbled out of bed, carefully avoiding the mess she'd made the night before, and went into the bathroom. Splashing cold water on her face she looked in the mirror and she hated what she saw looking back at her, the pale, scraggly, junkie with dark bags under her eyes. She washed her face and then changed her clothes, with that done she cleaned up the mess on the floor and then collapsed back on the mattress. Looking at the clock she saw that her shift at the gas station had started four hours ago, not to mention she had skipped work last night to get wasted. "Well there was no way I'm going to work now, not with this hangover," she grumbled. Last night was a big blur in her mind and she relished in the fact that just for one night she had been free of everything. She'd worry about tomorrow tomorrow, right now all she wanted to do was sleep, so she closed her eyes and slept.
Bianca stretched out on the couch and yawned as the sun flitted through the window. She and Jenna had ended the night at Jenna's dorm, too wired to sleep after so much caffeine, where they talked until three a.m.. Jenna had just recently came out of the closet and only her close friends and her brother knew that she was gay. Bianca talked about her own experiences and how her mother had grudgingly accepted her sexuality. They also talked about their childhoods. Jenna had grown up with both her parents, a mother who was a house-wife and let everyone walk all over her, and a workaholic father who never paid attention to them unless they did something wrong. Bianca was glad that her father had loved her and cared about her.
"Good morning," said Jenna as Bianca looked up and saw her holding two mugs of steaming coffee.
"Hi," said Bianca smiling and accepting the coffee.
Jenna sat down next to her, I have to be at work soon but I was wondering if maybe we could go out sometime, just as friends?"
"Sure, I'd like that."
"You work at the Book Rack right?" asked Bianca as she sipped her coffee.
"Yeah, selling used books isn't the most exciting or well paying job in the world but in a year I'll have my degree and my Aunt Lysistrata is going to give me a job and I can't wait. What do you plan to get into?"
"I was thinking of becoming a lawyer but I don't know, I mean I definitely don't want to work for my mom forever, I just haven't found anything I'm really into yet and before I even think about going to law school I want to be sure it's something I feel very passionate about."
"I'm sure you'll find your calling sooner or later, I had always wanted to be a nurse, I even volunteered at a hospital it was then I realized I was more into listening about the problems in their lives instead of their medical ones. That's how it all began for me."
They sat and talked for a little while longer and then they exchanged phone numbers and Jenna took her home.
Bianca walked into the house and saw her mother sitting on the couch drinking tea and watching the news. When she saw Bianca she motioned for Bianca to sit next to her and Bianca did.
"Did you have a good time last night?" Erica asked nonchalantly.
"Yes, Frankie and I went to a club," Bianca lied, she just couldn't tell her mother yet, she didn't want to see pity or hear 'I told you' so's. Unbeknownst to Bianca Erica already knew. Myrtle had told her that night that Frankie had moved out and Opal had said that she no longer worked at the Glam-O-Rama, Erica hoped Bianca would tell her what had happened between them, as much as she disapproved of Frankie she didn't want her daughter to be and pain and feel as if she couldn't confide in her own mother.
"So, how was the Crystal Ball?" asked Bianca wondering why her mother hadn't launched into a detailed description by now.
"It was…eventful, Laura duPres made quite a scene."
"Really? What did she do?"
"She…she tried to show slides of…of you and Frankie…together."