Disclaimer: Big Boss Joss owns all, lucky butch lesbian.
Warnings: None, mild angst maybe, probably not though.
Spoilers: Season 5 and 6, the W/T relationship bumpies.
Song: Pretty Baby- Vanessa Carlton (Raw talent!)
Feedback: We're asking now? Just do it, please???
Synopsis: Dawn leaves Tara in a house unattended with a broken Willow.
She walked down Rovelo Drive, she promised Dawn she would pick her up at three, she glanced at her Rolex, it was already 3:48, they were late for the show.
Willow sat on her bed, Tara's tear-stained picture in her shaking hands. The photograph had become her most prized possession, she hadn't let it out of her sight since the night her lover left her.
The blonde Wiccan trekked up the driveway and rang the doorbell, ignoring the fact that she still had a key to the house.
Willow looked up from the picture towards her door.
Another ring, a few knocks. Tara was impatient, they had to leave, the movie had already started, and if they hurried she and Dawn might be able to catch the next showing.
Willow stood up, out of her bed, for the first time in three days. She was home alone; no one would be able to answer the door for her. Willowlegs wobbled and Willowstomach roared, Willowbody ached, and didn't want to move. Willow forced her protesting body out of the room, down the stairs, and to the door; fumbling with the lock and pulling it open. Willowjaw hit the floor at the sight of the stunning woman before her. "T- Tara?"
"Uh, Willow, is uh, is Dawn here?" Tara avoided eye contact; this was not the welcome she had expected.
"You just missed her. She went to the movies; mumbling something about being late."
"Oh, right, I should just meet her there." Tara knew Dawn was sitting in the theater watching the movie and wouldn't want to watch it again, but she needed the excuse.
"Uh, did you, uh, wanna come in? Dawn made soup before she left." Willow tried a perky voice but it cracked from lack of use.
Tara frowned, yes, she wanted to but her brain screeched to a halt, cursing her for even thinking about it. "Yeah, sure, just for a second though." Brain vs. Heart. NOTHING DEFEATS THE HEART! (As Xander would say.or, maybe not.)
Willow backed away from the door to make way for her girl. Tara entered and followed Willow to the kitchen, shutting the door softly behind her.
Willow pulled out bowls and spoons, ladling Chicken Noodle from a pot on the stove. She handed Tara a bowl and sat next to her at the bar.
They sat in silence. Awkward silence. Neither bothered with the soup, just played with it, running their spoons through the cooling liquid.
"So, uh, how ya been?" Willow once again tried for perky, and once again came out crackly and pained.
"G-good, you?" Tara still refused to pay any attention to her ex, ignoring the desperate voice and equally needy orbs; she would only go as far as could be considered polite.
"Good." Willow paused, "Lie. I feel crappy."
"I'm sorry." Tara strained to keep her voice as unsorry-sounding as she could. She knew it was no use, her lover could see right through it; still, she kept it up.
You light me up and then I fall for you
You lay me down and then I call for you
Stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then some for you
More awkward silence; Tara stood to leave, thanking Willow for the soup and heading towards the door.
"Tara, wait," Willow jumped up, her knees gave out from lack of nourishment and use.
The blonde watched her lover fall, that was it, she couldn't just sit and watch, it would go beyond being rude. It would be down right inhumane. She rushed to Willow's side, kneeling beside her. "Will, can you hear me?" She looked around for a minute, her eyes torn, before making up her mind and sitting down; resting the prone girl's head in her lap.
Willow groaned and her eyes fluttered, "Ow, I think I hit my head." A grin broke out on her face, glad to see her lover hovering above her. "I'm fine, Tare, you know me, clumsy."
Tara smiled, tears welling in her eyes.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep coming round, oh pretty baby
Willow sat up, rubbing the back of her head where it hit the kitchen Plexi-tile. "Gah, remind me not to do that again."
"Will do."
"Tara?"
"Yeah?"
Willow turned to face Tara; she took a breath, choosing her words carefully "I'm sorry."
"I know." Tara scooted closer, debating what to do, instead of deciding she just sat there.
"Saying 'I'm sorry' doesn't make what I did go away. I know how to fix this, but I don't want to do it. I'm really trying to quit, Tara. I haven't done Majicks for a while, and I know that doesn't make it better. It'll be better when I'm all back, fully recovered. I still have withdrawals and stuff, but thinking about you makes me want to stop. I want to make it better, I don't want to be Willow 'the Majick junkie.' I want to be Willow 'Tara's life-partner and lover.' Like I said, I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't help, but I really am, sorry, I mean."
Tara smiled. "I know."
Willow paid no attention and just kept babbling, "It hurts so much Tara, thinking about you. Seeing you come to spend time with Dawn and Buffy. Your smell drifts up the stairs and seeps through the cracks in my door, even when I tape up the bottom, it still finds its way in."
"I have a smell?"
Willow nodded and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Lavender and sage, and apple too."
"Apple?"
"Shampoo."
"Oh, right, forgot."
Willow nodded again, looking at the floor; at least Tara was talking to her- that was a good start.
Silence, though not so awkward, more relaxed.
Tara scooted all the way to Willow's side, wrapping her arms tentatively around the redhead.
Willow bawled into Tara's arms, Tara couldn't help but join in, so they sat and cried.
And I know things can't last forever
But there are lessons that you'll never learn
Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
So how's it you that makes me better
After half-an-hour or so of crying, Willow looked up. "Tare? Your movie."
"Screw the movie." Tara looked down at Willow, her azure gaze locking with Willow's emerald one.
They cuddled closer, this was hard, with their clothing causing them to slip and slide on the Plexi-tile.
"Tare?"
"Yes, Willow?"
"I love you, always and forever, even if you don't love me."
"Willow!" Tara jerked back and looked sternly at the redhead. "How dare you say that? You know I love you, and I always will!"
Willow looked down ashamed at herself, muttering something unintelligible about Tara's departure, but her ex got the gist.
"Will, I left because I love you, not because I don't. I knew the only thing that could snap you out of your addiction was if I left. From the sounds of it, I was right."
Willow nodded and gave Tara a questioning look, a 'can we still cuddle?' look. They scooted back together and wrapped their arms around each other, savoring the minor contact.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep coming
"Tara? Will we ever be the same?"
"The same?"
"You know, lovers?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Give it time Will."
"Alright."
They sat in silence on the kitchen floor for a while longer, leaning on each other for support, and scooting back a bit to rest on the nearby cabinets.
Why can't you hold me and never let go
When you touch me it is me that you own
Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
Would you break it apart again? Oh pretty baby
"How much time?"
"Patience, Will."
Willow opened her mouth to protest, but closed it, knowing it was safer to just shut up. She sniffled to clear her sinuses and smiled at the faint scent. "You smell like apples."
Tara did the same. "You smell like bed, when was the last time you got up?"
"I don't remember." Willow bowed her head "but now I'm up."
"Good. When was the last time you ate?"
"A day or two before I went to bed." Willowcheeks turned crimson in shame. She looked awfully pathetic to herself.
Tara nodded "I thought so." She reached up, grasping the countertop and pulled herself halfway off the floor. She came back down with one of the bowls containing cold soup. She spooned some up and handed it to Willow.
The hacker shook her head and opened her mouth.
"Willow!" Tara chided her friend with a playful smack to the arm, "I'm not going to feed you. I didn't even do that when we were together."
"Well then, all the better time to start." Willow opened her mouth wider.
Tara sighed and shook her head, muttering something about the maturity level of her girlfriend. She ladled more soup and put the spoon in Willow's waiting mouth, it didn't close.
Willow stared slack-jawed at the woman feeding her. "Did you just call me your girlfriend?" She spoke around the spoon, when she noticed it was there she quickly drank the soup offered.
Tara put the spoon back in the bowl; it was now her turn to be ashamed. "I miss you Will."
"No need to, I'm right here, waiting for this 'relationship pause' time to be up. Open arms Baby!" Willow held her arms out for emphasis.
"I wish it were that simple."
"Why can't it be? Why can't it be simple and easy? Why can't it?"
"It just can't." Tara put the bowl on the floor between them and stood, rapping her nails on the countertop.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep coming round
"Tare," Willow struggled to get up, her knees still creaky, "don't be angry, not after we made things all better."
"We didn't make things all better Will. They're still the same as before, we aren't together."
"Are we at least friends?"
Tara sighed at Willow's immature baby voice, but caved, "Yes, we're friends, but that's all I can handle, you have to be completely recovered before we talk about anything more than that." That voice always made her cave.
Willow nodded, "I'm glad we're friends."
Tara looked to her, a slow smile spread on her face, it was hard to be mad at Willow for long, "I'm glad we're friends too."
They hugged.
"Please, don't leave me again, Tare." Willow cried into her friend's shoulder.
Pretty baby why can't you see
Pretty baby don't you leave me
Pretty baby why can't you see
Pretty baby don't you leave me
Oh pretty baby, my pretty baby, my pretty baby
Don't you leave me.
"Never, Sweetheart, never." Tara stroked Willow's auburn hair and whispered softly in her ear. "Never, ever, again."
Warnings: None, mild angst maybe, probably not though.
Spoilers: Season 5 and 6, the W/T relationship bumpies.
Song: Pretty Baby- Vanessa Carlton (Raw talent!)
Feedback: We're asking now? Just do it, please???
Synopsis: Dawn leaves Tara in a house unattended with a broken Willow.
She walked down Rovelo Drive, she promised Dawn she would pick her up at three, she glanced at her Rolex, it was already 3:48, they were late for the show.
Willow sat on her bed, Tara's tear-stained picture in her shaking hands. The photograph had become her most prized possession, she hadn't let it out of her sight since the night her lover left her.
The blonde Wiccan trekked up the driveway and rang the doorbell, ignoring the fact that she still had a key to the house.
Willow looked up from the picture towards her door.
Another ring, a few knocks. Tara was impatient, they had to leave, the movie had already started, and if they hurried she and Dawn might be able to catch the next showing.
Willow stood up, out of her bed, for the first time in three days. She was home alone; no one would be able to answer the door for her. Willowlegs wobbled and Willowstomach roared, Willowbody ached, and didn't want to move. Willow forced her protesting body out of the room, down the stairs, and to the door; fumbling with the lock and pulling it open. Willowjaw hit the floor at the sight of the stunning woman before her. "T- Tara?"
"Uh, Willow, is uh, is Dawn here?" Tara avoided eye contact; this was not the welcome she had expected.
"You just missed her. She went to the movies; mumbling something about being late."
"Oh, right, I should just meet her there." Tara knew Dawn was sitting in the theater watching the movie and wouldn't want to watch it again, but she needed the excuse.
"Uh, did you, uh, wanna come in? Dawn made soup before she left." Willow tried a perky voice but it cracked from lack of use.
Tara frowned, yes, she wanted to but her brain screeched to a halt, cursing her for even thinking about it. "Yeah, sure, just for a second though." Brain vs. Heart. NOTHING DEFEATS THE HEART! (As Xander would say.or, maybe not.)
Willow backed away from the door to make way for her girl. Tara entered and followed Willow to the kitchen, shutting the door softly behind her.
Willow pulled out bowls and spoons, ladling Chicken Noodle from a pot on the stove. She handed Tara a bowl and sat next to her at the bar.
They sat in silence. Awkward silence. Neither bothered with the soup, just played with it, running their spoons through the cooling liquid.
"So, uh, how ya been?" Willow once again tried for perky, and once again came out crackly and pained.
"G-good, you?" Tara still refused to pay any attention to her ex, ignoring the desperate voice and equally needy orbs; she would only go as far as could be considered polite.
"Good." Willow paused, "Lie. I feel crappy."
"I'm sorry." Tara strained to keep her voice as unsorry-sounding as she could. She knew it was no use, her lover could see right through it; still, she kept it up.
You light me up and then I fall for you
You lay me down and then I call for you
Stumbling on reasons that are far and few
I'd let it all come down and then some for you
More awkward silence; Tara stood to leave, thanking Willow for the soup and heading towards the door.
"Tara, wait," Willow jumped up, her knees gave out from lack of nourishment and use.
The blonde watched her lover fall, that was it, she couldn't just sit and watch, it would go beyond being rude. It would be down right inhumane. She rushed to Willow's side, kneeling beside her. "Will, can you hear me?" She looked around for a minute, her eyes torn, before making up her mind and sitting down; resting the prone girl's head in her lap.
Willow groaned and her eyes fluttered, "Ow, I think I hit my head." A grin broke out on her face, glad to see her lover hovering above her. "I'm fine, Tare, you know me, clumsy."
Tara smiled, tears welling in her eyes.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep coming round, oh pretty baby
Willow sat up, rubbing the back of her head where it hit the kitchen Plexi-tile. "Gah, remind me not to do that again."
"Will do."
"Tara?"
"Yeah?"
Willow turned to face Tara; she took a breath, choosing her words carefully "I'm sorry."
"I know." Tara scooted closer, debating what to do, instead of deciding she just sat there.
"Saying 'I'm sorry' doesn't make what I did go away. I know how to fix this, but I don't want to do it. I'm really trying to quit, Tara. I haven't done Majicks for a while, and I know that doesn't make it better. It'll be better when I'm all back, fully recovered. I still have withdrawals and stuff, but thinking about you makes me want to stop. I want to make it better, I don't want to be Willow 'the Majick junkie.' I want to be Willow 'Tara's life-partner and lover.' Like I said, I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't help, but I really am, sorry, I mean."
Tara smiled. "I know."
Willow paid no attention and just kept babbling, "It hurts so much Tara, thinking about you. Seeing you come to spend time with Dawn and Buffy. Your smell drifts up the stairs and seeps through the cracks in my door, even when I tape up the bottom, it still finds its way in."
"I have a smell?"
Willow nodded and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Lavender and sage, and apple too."
"Apple?"
"Shampoo."
"Oh, right, forgot."
Willow nodded again, looking at the floor; at least Tara was talking to her- that was a good start.
Silence, though not so awkward, more relaxed.
Tara scooted all the way to Willow's side, wrapping her arms tentatively around the redhead.
Willow bawled into Tara's arms, Tara couldn't help but join in, so they sat and cried.
And I know things can't last forever
But there are lessons that you'll never learn
Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt
So how's it you that makes me better
After half-an-hour or so of crying, Willow looked up. "Tare? Your movie."
"Screw the movie." Tara looked down at Willow, her azure gaze locking with Willow's emerald one.
They cuddled closer, this was hard, with their clothing causing them to slip and slide on the Plexi-tile.
"Tare?"
"Yes, Willow?"
"I love you, always and forever, even if you don't love me."
"Willow!" Tara jerked back and looked sternly at the redhead. "How dare you say that? You know I love you, and I always will!"
Willow looked down ashamed at herself, muttering something unintelligible about Tara's departure, but her ex got the gist.
"Will, I left because I love you, not because I don't. I knew the only thing that could snap you out of your addiction was if I left. From the sounds of it, I was right."
Willow nodded and gave Tara a questioning look, a 'can we still cuddle?' look. They scooted back together and wrapped their arms around each other, savoring the minor contact.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep coming
"Tara? Will we ever be the same?"
"The same?"
"You know, lovers?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Give it time Will."
"Alright."
They sat in silence on the kitchen floor for a while longer, leaning on each other for support, and scooting back a bit to rest on the nearby cabinets.
Why can't you hold me and never let go
When you touch me it is me that you own
Pretty baby oh the place that you hold in my heart
Would you break it apart again? Oh pretty baby
"How much time?"
"Patience, Will."
Willow opened her mouth to protest, but closed it, knowing it was safer to just shut up. She sniffled to clear her sinuses and smiled at the faint scent. "You smell like apples."
Tara did the same. "You smell like bed, when was the last time you got up?"
"I don't remember." Willow bowed her head "but now I'm up."
"Good. When was the last time you ate?"
"A day or two before I went to bed." Willowcheeks turned crimson in shame. She looked awfully pathetic to herself.
Tara nodded "I thought so." She reached up, grasping the countertop and pulled herself halfway off the floor. She came back down with one of the bowls containing cold soup. She spooned some up and handed it to Willow.
The hacker shook her head and opened her mouth.
"Willow!" Tara chided her friend with a playful smack to the arm, "I'm not going to feed you. I didn't even do that when we were together."
"Well then, all the better time to start." Willow opened her mouth wider.
Tara sighed and shook her head, muttering something about the maturity level of her girlfriend. She ladled more soup and put the spoon in Willow's waiting mouth, it didn't close.
Willow stared slack-jawed at the woman feeding her. "Did you just call me your girlfriend?" She spoke around the spoon, when she noticed it was there she quickly drank the soup offered.
Tara put the spoon back in the bowl; it was now her turn to be ashamed. "I miss you Will."
"No need to, I'm right here, waiting for this 'relationship pause' time to be up. Open arms Baby!" Willow held her arms out for emphasis.
"I wish it were that simple."
"Why can't it be? Why can't it be simple and easy? Why can't it?"
"It just can't." Tara put the bowl on the floor between them and stood, rapping her nails on the countertop.
Pretty baby don't you leave me
I have been saving smiles for you
Pretty baby why can't you see
You're the one that I belong to
I'll be the embrace that keeps you warm
For you're the sun that breaks the storm
I'll be all right and I'll sleep sound
As long as you keep coming round
"Tare," Willow struggled to get up, her knees still creaky, "don't be angry, not after we made things all better."
"We didn't make things all better Will. They're still the same as before, we aren't together."
"Are we at least friends?"
Tara sighed at Willow's immature baby voice, but caved, "Yes, we're friends, but that's all I can handle, you have to be completely recovered before we talk about anything more than that." That voice always made her cave.
Willow nodded, "I'm glad we're friends."
Tara looked to her, a slow smile spread on her face, it was hard to be mad at Willow for long, "I'm glad we're friends too."
They hugged.
"Please, don't leave me again, Tare." Willow cried into her friend's shoulder.
Pretty baby why can't you see
Pretty baby don't you leave me
Pretty baby why can't you see
Pretty baby don't you leave me
Oh pretty baby, my pretty baby, my pretty baby
Don't you leave me.
"Never, Sweetheart, never." Tara stroked Willow's auburn hair and whispered softly in her ear. "Never, ever, again."