Chapter 3: Nymphs and Homocidal Battle-Axes
Once again, props to Mizza A, Yo! for reviewing my story.
And, also, props to Anthony Bault, author of the "Heroes of Arcadia" saga for giving me the thumbs up for my work.
And, yes, Akashalkadaquiri, things will be explained as they go along. Such as the presence of the scroll, for one, and why the hell monsters from D&D are spawning on Earth. But not now.
---------------------------------------------------------- Blah Blah Blah New Jerseycakes 7:34 AM ----------------------------------------------------------
Marvin trudged down the forest, totally ignoring the cut that was bleeding and becoming infected on his leg, carrying his Colt .45, which had five bullets left in the clip. He had a mission: Find those stupid mages and kill them all. He took in the forest air, as the dirt crunched on his shoes as he stepped on it. To pass the time, Marvin began counting the trees. "34, 35, 36, 37...."
A scream was heard! Marvin acted on instinct and ran to the spot where the scream resonated, which happened to have a girl running away from some guy in leather armor, carrying a battle-axe.
(Oh, what the hell. Might as well take out some of my anger onto this friggin' moron, and earn a few brownie points.) Marvin picked up his Colt, and began shooting at the loser in the armor. Two of the shots missed, but one shot hit the guy in the arm, and one hit the torso.
The guy was absolutely surprised. "YOU CUR!" and a host of other swear words. Marvin silenced him with another bullet to the leg. "Why don't you shut up and find someone else to harass?" Marvin growled.
The man in leather howled and grabbed his leg. Then, he tried to hop after Marvin, but that resulted in hitting his head on the ground, and falling down.
Marvin sighed and reloaded his gun. The girl ran over to him. "Thank you, kind sire!" The girl squealed.
"Yeah, yeah. All in a day's work. Rah." Marvin sighed.
"Sire, what is wrong?"
"My house has been burned down and three mages tried to kill me, this world has suddenly become infused with the art of magic, my HOUSE has burned down, I'm very quickly running out of bullets, and I'm gaining more enemies."
The girl walked up to Marvin and put her arms around him. "Oh, don't worry, dear. I'm sure I could find some way to comfort you.. *giggle*"
"How? For starters, you could help me with this cut on my leg."
The girl blinked. "Ouch! It looks like a nasty cut! What shall I do, good sire?"
"For starters, can you close it up and heal it?"
"Well.ok!"
The girl pulled out a small vial, filled with red liquid, and handed it to Marvin.
"What the- what's this?" Marvin asked.
"Drink it! It'll make you feel better than ever!"
"Why is there a dead newt floating in it?"
"An essential ingredient to my special potions!"
"Ah. And why is it red?"
"Uh.... oh, to the nine hells with this!"
The girl's body transformed into a snarling, angry red Balor.
"YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE ME!!!" the balor boomed.
Marvin dropped the potion, screamed, and took off through the forest.
"COME BACK HERE! I LOVE YOU!!!"
***********************
"It's okay, to be Little-Bitty."
Joe Bob hummed the music while driving down the road.
".in a big ol' city, might as well share, might as well smile, life goes on in a little-bitty while."
Then, he saw them. A man, shooting at the big, red thing with fiery wings, was booming lines of bad poetry to the man, while the man was screaming, shooting, stumbling, getting up, and running through the forest.
He was too distracted by the scene, too distracted to avoid crashing.
The pick-up swerved, almost hit the balor, and hit the tree, where the air bags were deployed. Joe Bob groaned.
The man continued to run, but the balor noticed the the crashed truck. The balor located the human inside, reached in, picked him up, and bit off half of his body. "Mmm. hazelnut!" The balor boomed. She ate the other half, spat out the leather boots, and continued on her journey.
************************
"AHH! HELP! SHIT! AGH! NOOOHOHOOOOOHOOOO!!"
Marvin kept running and running from the balor until he ran out of breath. He collapsed from lack of breath, and the balor catched up.
"There you are!" The balor boomed, and squealed in delight.
Marvin's eyes went wide. (I have three bullets left in my gun.. when she gets in close, I'll unload these bullets into her head and maybe, just maybe.)
"We'll have so much fun together!" As the balor scopped him up. Marvin aimed his gun at the balor's face, and fired three times.
None of the bullets hit.
"Oh, you crazy cutie!" The balor boomed. "Don't you know your weapon can't hurt me?"
(AAAAAARRRGH!!) Marvin yelled in his mind. (God-damn.. uh.. whatever's happened! Yeah! Damn it all!)
Then, the most miraculous or most painful thing just happened, depending on whether you were Marvin or the crazy, love-stricken Balor.
A flying, enchanted battle-axe came from out of nowhere and hit the Balor in the back of the head, causing her to, uh, die.
The Balor fell and landed on Marvin. Marvin pushed himself out from under the Balor.
"Argh! My poor lungs!" Marvin turned around and noticed the battle-axe which had dug itself pretty deep into the Balor's head. The battle-axe picked itself up, and began floating in mid-air. Marvin was awestruck and annoyed at the same time.
"What in the hell are you?"
Once again, props to Mizza A, Yo! for reviewing my story.
And, also, props to Anthony Bault, author of the "Heroes of Arcadia" saga for giving me the thumbs up for my work.
And, yes, Akashalkadaquiri, things will be explained as they go along. Such as the presence of the scroll, for one, and why the hell monsters from D&D are spawning on Earth. But not now.
---------------------------------------------------------- Blah Blah Blah New Jerseycakes 7:34 AM ----------------------------------------------------------
Marvin trudged down the forest, totally ignoring the cut that was bleeding and becoming infected on his leg, carrying his Colt .45, which had five bullets left in the clip. He had a mission: Find those stupid mages and kill them all. He took in the forest air, as the dirt crunched on his shoes as he stepped on it. To pass the time, Marvin began counting the trees. "34, 35, 36, 37...."
A scream was heard! Marvin acted on instinct and ran to the spot where the scream resonated, which happened to have a girl running away from some guy in leather armor, carrying a battle-axe.
(Oh, what the hell. Might as well take out some of my anger onto this friggin' moron, and earn a few brownie points.) Marvin picked up his Colt, and began shooting at the loser in the armor. Two of the shots missed, but one shot hit the guy in the arm, and one hit the torso.
The guy was absolutely surprised. "YOU CUR!" and a host of other swear words. Marvin silenced him with another bullet to the leg. "Why don't you shut up and find someone else to harass?" Marvin growled.
The man in leather howled and grabbed his leg. Then, he tried to hop after Marvin, but that resulted in hitting his head on the ground, and falling down.
Marvin sighed and reloaded his gun. The girl ran over to him. "Thank you, kind sire!" The girl squealed.
"Yeah, yeah. All in a day's work. Rah." Marvin sighed.
"Sire, what is wrong?"
"My house has been burned down and three mages tried to kill me, this world has suddenly become infused with the art of magic, my HOUSE has burned down, I'm very quickly running out of bullets, and I'm gaining more enemies."
The girl walked up to Marvin and put her arms around him. "Oh, don't worry, dear. I'm sure I could find some way to comfort you.. *giggle*"
"How? For starters, you could help me with this cut on my leg."
The girl blinked. "Ouch! It looks like a nasty cut! What shall I do, good sire?"
"For starters, can you close it up and heal it?"
"Well.ok!"
The girl pulled out a small vial, filled with red liquid, and handed it to Marvin.
"What the- what's this?" Marvin asked.
"Drink it! It'll make you feel better than ever!"
"Why is there a dead newt floating in it?"
"An essential ingredient to my special potions!"
"Ah. And why is it red?"
"Uh.... oh, to the nine hells with this!"
The girl's body transformed into a snarling, angry red Balor.
"YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE ME!!!" the balor boomed.
Marvin dropped the potion, screamed, and took off through the forest.
"COME BACK HERE! I LOVE YOU!!!"
***********************
"It's okay, to be Little-Bitty."
Joe Bob hummed the music while driving down the road.
".in a big ol' city, might as well share, might as well smile, life goes on in a little-bitty while."
Then, he saw them. A man, shooting at the big, red thing with fiery wings, was booming lines of bad poetry to the man, while the man was screaming, shooting, stumbling, getting up, and running through the forest.
He was too distracted by the scene, too distracted to avoid crashing.
The pick-up swerved, almost hit the balor, and hit the tree, where the air bags were deployed. Joe Bob groaned.
The man continued to run, but the balor noticed the the crashed truck. The balor located the human inside, reached in, picked him up, and bit off half of his body. "Mmm. hazelnut!" The balor boomed. She ate the other half, spat out the leather boots, and continued on her journey.
************************
"AHH! HELP! SHIT! AGH! NOOOHOHOOOOOHOOOO!!"
Marvin kept running and running from the balor until he ran out of breath. He collapsed from lack of breath, and the balor catched up.
"There you are!" The balor boomed, and squealed in delight.
Marvin's eyes went wide. (I have three bullets left in my gun.. when she gets in close, I'll unload these bullets into her head and maybe, just maybe.)
"We'll have so much fun together!" As the balor scopped him up. Marvin aimed his gun at the balor's face, and fired three times.
None of the bullets hit.
"Oh, you crazy cutie!" The balor boomed. "Don't you know your weapon can't hurt me?"
(AAAAAARRRGH!!) Marvin yelled in his mind. (God-damn.. uh.. whatever's happened! Yeah! Damn it all!)
Then, the most miraculous or most painful thing just happened, depending on whether you were Marvin or the crazy, love-stricken Balor.
A flying, enchanted battle-axe came from out of nowhere and hit the Balor in the back of the head, causing her to, uh, die.
The Balor fell and landed on Marvin. Marvin pushed himself out from under the Balor.
"Argh! My poor lungs!" Marvin turned around and noticed the battle-axe which had dug itself pretty deep into the Balor's head. The battle-axe picked itself up, and began floating in mid-air. Marvin was awestruck and annoyed at the same time.
"What in the hell are you?"