Side Chapter 1: Marvin meets Mary Sue (AKA Author writes a chapter at 12:00
AM!)
All right, this is a little side diversion pertaining to Marvin's journey.
Stop complaining. It's supposed to be silly. And, I'm not too sure on the quality of this chapter, since it was written at 12:30 AM. So, forgive me. Please put your guns away. Thank you.
***********************************************
Somewhere between Chapters 2 and 3, this happened.
Marvin was walking down the forest, when this sound was heard:
"DRIZZ! OH, DRIZZT DOURDIN! WHER R U!?!!?"
(What... the... iFUCK/I? Marvin thought.)
Marvin dived behind a tree, while a million thoughts raced through his mind: (Oh, god, I'm hearing things! It's those damn mages, isn't it? Oh, man, if I get out of this one, I'll do ANYTHING! I'll give up my computer for a week! I'll stop being mean to the newbies online! I'LL-)
Then, a beautiful melody broke out.
IOh, Drizzt, my Drizt, life without you is the pitz, where r u my Drizzt, oh, Drizzt, my Drizzt!!/I
Well, the voice was beautiful, but the lyrics were crap.
Marvin blinked. (Drizt? Pitz? What the hell are those, snack foods?)
Marvin peeked his head out from behind the tree. He saw an elven girl who looked like a teenager, clad in tight leather armor showing off her features, carrying a large pink bow.
(Pink bow!? Marvin thought. What the hell? Oh, well. I don't think it would hurt to call to someone that cute...)
"Excuse me, ma'am!" Marvin shouted at the passing teenager.
The woman turned around and said "hello to u!" She waved.
(Oh, who the hell cares if she can only speak crude English! She's CUTE!)
"Uh. hi." Marvin stammered. He waved back.
"wood u like to come help me destroy the lish!?"
(Cute... lovely... obey...)
"Y-y-yes, dear."
"okay. ZANETH!!"
Zaneth the horse came galloping through the forest, and went up to the girl.
At that point, Marvin's brain split into two factions: One which would obey the Mary Sue and be as faithful as can be, like a sergeant and a private. That faction dominated.
The other faction was Marvin's real subconsious. It pointed out mistakes and stupid things that the Mary Sue did. That was the submissive.
So, when Marvin thought (What the hell is this? Why didn't she just ride her horse through the forest, instead of walking around?) that, this is what happened:
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Jesus!" Marvin groaned, clutching his head. His nose began to bleed.
"marvin? do u need some tylenol?" The elven archer asked, putting down the headset of her CD Player.
"That would be nice, my lady." (MY LADY!? Marvin thought. Why am I talking like someone reciting lines from Shakes- OW! OH, GOD! MAKE IT STOP!)
Marvin took the Tylenol and remained quiet for the ride.
*************
The horse was unbelieveably fast, galloping at least twice to three the top speed of a Ferrari.
Marvin and Geledirel, the second daughter of Tyr, zoomed past New Jersey in three hours, covering New York.
************************
In Manhattan, A blonde woman sat in a chair at a local diner, known for it's strong coffee, it's good food, and a nice place to start out a day, overall.
"Mrs. Halebein," the waiter said, giving her the coffee, "I will be right back."
Byara Halebein smiled, said "Thank you!" to the waiter, and waited for her coffee to cool down a little.
When suddenly, an large object, going over 350 MPH, ran by where Byara was sitting, causing a large gust of wind, which caused her unlided coffee cup to and spill over, scalding her face and her chest, also making a nice large brown stain on her blouse.
Byara, in a fit of frustration, slowly wiped the hot coffee off of her face. "It must be Monday." she growled in pain.
***********************
They made a screeching halt somewhere in Canada, and she---
***********************
The author of this fanfic groaned.
"Man, I'm friggin' tired." he said. "But, I must press on!"
***********************
Marvin and Geledirel stopped in Alberta, Canada.
Geledriel made a dainty leap off the horse. Marvin fell off the horse, picked himself up, stammered, and ran shakily into the bushes, wherein he vomited up five hours' worth of junk food.
Geledriel ran up to a nearby Drizzt Do'Urden. "oh drizt I mist u so much! I LUV U!!"
"drizt" went, "oh geledriel I love u toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllollllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll (AN: oh sorry guys. Forgot to drink my Jolt.)
just then the crystal shard popped up!!!!!! "HUR HUR HUR" it went.
drizzt: "Oh no! We must sotp the cyrshal shard!"
"u stupdi bean-head u cen enerar defeat me!!!! HUR HUR HUR"
so then gaadriel shot The Crystal Shard with an arrow from her bow. The arrow sailed through the air and hit the sahrd, and then oh shiti'moutofjoltnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo
(continues on for 384 more pages)
**************
Friends don't let friends write side chapters at 12:30 midnight, on Jolt Cola.
Look what happened to me when I did it.
- A friendly message from your author, Marvin Hadablaster
All right, this is a little side diversion pertaining to Marvin's journey.
Stop complaining. It's supposed to be silly. And, I'm not too sure on the quality of this chapter, since it was written at 12:30 AM. So, forgive me. Please put your guns away. Thank you.
***********************************************
Somewhere between Chapters 2 and 3, this happened.
Marvin was walking down the forest, when this sound was heard:
"DRIZZ! OH, DRIZZT DOURDIN! WHER R U!?!!?"
(What... the... iFUCK/I? Marvin thought.)
Marvin dived behind a tree, while a million thoughts raced through his mind: (Oh, god, I'm hearing things! It's those damn mages, isn't it? Oh, man, if I get out of this one, I'll do ANYTHING! I'll give up my computer for a week! I'll stop being mean to the newbies online! I'LL-)
Then, a beautiful melody broke out.
IOh, Drizzt, my Drizt, life without you is the pitz, where r u my Drizzt, oh, Drizzt, my Drizzt!!/I
Well, the voice was beautiful, but the lyrics were crap.
Marvin blinked. (Drizt? Pitz? What the hell are those, snack foods?)
Marvin peeked his head out from behind the tree. He saw an elven girl who looked like a teenager, clad in tight leather armor showing off her features, carrying a large pink bow.
(Pink bow!? Marvin thought. What the hell? Oh, well. I don't think it would hurt to call to someone that cute...)
"Excuse me, ma'am!" Marvin shouted at the passing teenager.
The woman turned around and said "hello to u!" She waved.
(Oh, who the hell cares if she can only speak crude English! She's CUTE!)
"Uh. hi." Marvin stammered. He waved back.
"wood u like to come help me destroy the lish!?"
(Cute... lovely... obey...)
"Y-y-yes, dear."
"okay. ZANETH!!"
Zaneth the horse came galloping through the forest, and went up to the girl.
At that point, Marvin's brain split into two factions: One which would obey the Mary Sue and be as faithful as can be, like a sergeant and a private. That faction dominated.
The other faction was Marvin's real subconsious. It pointed out mistakes and stupid things that the Mary Sue did. That was the submissive.
So, when Marvin thought (What the hell is this? Why didn't she just ride her horse through the forest, instead of walking around?) that, this is what happened:
"OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! Jesus!" Marvin groaned, clutching his head. His nose began to bleed.
"marvin? do u need some tylenol?" The elven archer asked, putting down the headset of her CD Player.
"That would be nice, my lady." (MY LADY!? Marvin thought. Why am I talking like someone reciting lines from Shakes- OW! OH, GOD! MAKE IT STOP!)
Marvin took the Tylenol and remained quiet for the ride.
*************
The horse was unbelieveably fast, galloping at least twice to three the top speed of a Ferrari.
Marvin and Geledirel, the second daughter of Tyr, zoomed past New Jersey in three hours, covering New York.
************************
In Manhattan, A blonde woman sat in a chair at a local diner, known for it's strong coffee, it's good food, and a nice place to start out a day, overall.
"Mrs. Halebein," the waiter said, giving her the coffee, "I will be right back."
Byara Halebein smiled, said "Thank you!" to the waiter, and waited for her coffee to cool down a little.
When suddenly, an large object, going over 350 MPH, ran by where Byara was sitting, causing a large gust of wind, which caused her unlided coffee cup to and spill over, scalding her face and her chest, also making a nice large brown stain on her blouse.
Byara, in a fit of frustration, slowly wiped the hot coffee off of her face. "It must be Monday." she growled in pain.
***********************
They made a screeching halt somewhere in Canada, and she---
***********************
The author of this fanfic groaned.
"Man, I'm friggin' tired." he said. "But, I must press on!"
***********************
Marvin and Geledirel stopped in Alberta, Canada.
Geledriel made a dainty leap off the horse. Marvin fell off the horse, picked himself up, stammered, and ran shakily into the bushes, wherein he vomited up five hours' worth of junk food.
Geledriel ran up to a nearby Drizzt Do'Urden. "oh drizt I mist u so much! I LUV U!!"
"drizt" went, "oh geledriel I love u toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllollllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll (AN: oh sorry guys. Forgot to drink my Jolt.)
just then the crystal shard popped up!!!!!! "HUR HUR HUR" it went.
drizzt: "Oh no! We must sotp the cyrshal shard!"
"u stupdi bean-head u cen enerar defeat me!!!! HUR HUR HUR"
so then gaadriel shot The Crystal Shard with an arrow from her bow. The arrow sailed through the air and hit the sahrd, and then oh shiti'moutofjoltnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo
(continues on for 384 more pages)
**************
Friends don't let friends write side chapters at 12:30 midnight, on Jolt Cola.
Look what happened to me when I did it.
- A friendly message from your author, Marvin Hadablaster