---------------------------
Note: i wrote this becuz i like the pairing lolol omg my loki fandom is the best
Actually, just kidding. I wrote this partly on a whim, partly to poke fun at what I consider one of the best anime ever made, and partly because I'm so disgusted with some of the fan following for this show and its random, nonsensical excuses for slash and the like. Leave it the hell alone, it's a show about Norse Gods for Christ's sake.
That said, on to the fic!
---------------------------
Loki cringed as he heard the sound of dainty, feminine footsteps rushing up the stairs of his Big Shiny Gothic Detective Agency. That stupid girl was here again.
"F-FUSHIGI MYSTERY~~~!" Mayura spazzed, her brain cells rattling around in their spacious abode and popping like popcorn with excitement at the mere prospect of anything as or more mysterious than the disappearance of the Peanut Butter Cups from Yamino's fridge.
Loki stretched Ecchan between his fingers and sighed as immortals who wear black are wont to do. "What is it, Mayura." He implied in a lazy, lethargic tone that didn't even merit a question mark.
"L-Loki~!" Mayura squealed in an ear-splitting tone. "Narugami says that there's a haunted beer mat at his new part time job at the bar!"
Loki's face fell to grave seriousness, and a bunch of greyscale static appeared around his face to emphasise how awesome and gothic he was. *It must be... the Beer Mat God, Vulgenmorsgard.* he thought. There was no time to waste!
"Mayura. Leave this to me." Loki began, and stretched Ecchan further than before absentmindedly. The little spirit squeaked "PUNYAAN!!" in protest, and Loki guiltily apologised.
Mayura stood there like some kind of idiot and blinked to emphasise that there was nothing behind her eyeballs but shoujo bubbles. "Loki..." she began to enquire. "Who did you just apologise to?"
Loki didn't even bother to dignify Mayura's question with an answer, and instead shunted her out of his office lazily. Closing the door behind her and taking ten minutes to walk back across the vast, unnecessarily empty expanse of his office floor, Loki pondered the situation.
*Hmm... Vulgenmorsgard could become quite a problem. We must act quickly in order to--*
"PUNYAAN!"
Loki stopped and stared at the disgruntled Ecchan looming in front of his eyes. It took him a few seconds to realise what he had done to make Ecchan angry.
"Oh, Ecchan..." Loki began sympathetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you..." he reached out to pet the etherial creature, but Ecchan turned away in disgust.
"Oh Ecchan..." Loki called, tears welling up in his little shouta eyes. "Is there... anything, anything at all I can do to make it up to you...?"
Ecchan was taken aback for a moment by how thoroughly out-of-character Loki had become. Suddenly, however, he felt himself overcome by indescribable waves of hot fanfiction desire.
"P... Punyaaan~" Ecchan called in his most seductive tone, and opened his his tiny little legs.... arms.... amalgomation of arms and legs.
There, staring the underage Norse God in the face, was a small sheath no longer than half an inch in size.
Loki would have called Ecchan's name with a lot of presses of the '~' key after it. That is, he would have were his mouth not full of sweet, sweet spirit cock.
"P... p... pun... yaaaaan......." Ecchan called longingly, feeling hot desire flare up in his miniature parody of loins. He squirmed his tiny limbs in pleasure as Loki's divine tongue worked its magic on the tiny nub, now wet with a substance that could be classified somewhere between precum and ectoplasm.
Loki sensed evil in Ecchan's desire. He knew it had to be evil because he started seeing things in awesome red effects. His pupils shrunk in that way only an anime boy's can as he momentarily stopped sucking.
"Punyaaaan!!!!" Ecchan protested, forcing Loki's head back on to his tiny package with his long floppy ears. Grabbing a handful or perhaps earful of Loki's hair, he forced Loki to move his lips back and forth again and again until finally;
"P-P-P-PUNYAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!"
Loki swallowed every last drop of the glowing green glue and wiped his mouth clean with the back of his sleeve. Unfortunately for Loki, ejectile fluids of any kind really show up nicely on black.
"Damn!" exclaimed Loki at the glow-in-the-dark stain on his sleeve. "How am I going to explain this to Yamino come washday?"
Little did Loki know, however, that later in the week, he would discover that he was not the only one who would be facing this problem next time Yamino decided to wash all the clothes by hand to further reaffirm his status as a raging homosexual.
Luckily for Ecchan's other partner, however, the striking shade of green quite suited that big, red ribbon that usually covered her cleavage.
Note: i wrote this becuz i like the pairing lolol omg my loki fandom is the best
Actually, just kidding. I wrote this partly on a whim, partly to poke fun at what I consider one of the best anime ever made, and partly because I'm so disgusted with some of the fan following for this show and its random, nonsensical excuses for slash and the like. Leave it the hell alone, it's a show about Norse Gods for Christ's sake.
That said, on to the fic!
---------------------------
Loki cringed as he heard the sound of dainty, feminine footsteps rushing up the stairs of his Big Shiny Gothic Detective Agency. That stupid girl was here again.
"F-FUSHIGI MYSTERY~~~!" Mayura spazzed, her brain cells rattling around in their spacious abode and popping like popcorn with excitement at the mere prospect of anything as or more mysterious than the disappearance of the Peanut Butter Cups from Yamino's fridge.
Loki stretched Ecchan between his fingers and sighed as immortals who wear black are wont to do. "What is it, Mayura." He implied in a lazy, lethargic tone that didn't even merit a question mark.
"L-Loki~!" Mayura squealed in an ear-splitting tone. "Narugami says that there's a haunted beer mat at his new part time job at the bar!"
Loki's face fell to grave seriousness, and a bunch of greyscale static appeared around his face to emphasise how awesome and gothic he was. *It must be... the Beer Mat God, Vulgenmorsgard.* he thought. There was no time to waste!
"Mayura. Leave this to me." Loki began, and stretched Ecchan further than before absentmindedly. The little spirit squeaked "PUNYAAN!!" in protest, and Loki guiltily apologised.
Mayura stood there like some kind of idiot and blinked to emphasise that there was nothing behind her eyeballs but shoujo bubbles. "Loki..." she began to enquire. "Who did you just apologise to?"
Loki didn't even bother to dignify Mayura's question with an answer, and instead shunted her out of his office lazily. Closing the door behind her and taking ten minutes to walk back across the vast, unnecessarily empty expanse of his office floor, Loki pondered the situation.
*Hmm... Vulgenmorsgard could become quite a problem. We must act quickly in order to--*
"PUNYAAN!"
Loki stopped and stared at the disgruntled Ecchan looming in front of his eyes. It took him a few seconds to realise what he had done to make Ecchan angry.
"Oh, Ecchan..." Loki began sympathetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you..." he reached out to pet the etherial creature, but Ecchan turned away in disgust.
"Oh Ecchan..." Loki called, tears welling up in his little shouta eyes. "Is there... anything, anything at all I can do to make it up to you...?"
Ecchan was taken aback for a moment by how thoroughly out-of-character Loki had become. Suddenly, however, he felt himself overcome by indescribable waves of hot fanfiction desire.
"P... Punyaaan~" Ecchan called in his most seductive tone, and opened his his tiny little legs.... arms.... amalgomation of arms and legs.
There, staring the underage Norse God in the face, was a small sheath no longer than half an inch in size.
Loki would have called Ecchan's name with a lot of presses of the '~' key after it. That is, he would have were his mouth not full of sweet, sweet spirit cock.
"P... p... pun... yaaaaan......." Ecchan called longingly, feeling hot desire flare up in his miniature parody of loins. He squirmed his tiny limbs in pleasure as Loki's divine tongue worked its magic on the tiny nub, now wet with a substance that could be classified somewhere between precum and ectoplasm.
Loki sensed evil in Ecchan's desire. He knew it had to be evil because he started seeing things in awesome red effects. His pupils shrunk in that way only an anime boy's can as he momentarily stopped sucking.
"Punyaaaan!!!!" Ecchan protested, forcing Loki's head back on to his tiny package with his long floppy ears. Grabbing a handful or perhaps earful of Loki's hair, he forced Loki to move his lips back and forth again and again until finally;
"P-P-P-PUNYAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!"
Loki swallowed every last drop of the glowing green glue and wiped his mouth clean with the back of his sleeve. Unfortunately for Loki, ejectile fluids of any kind really show up nicely on black.
"Damn!" exclaimed Loki at the glow-in-the-dark stain on his sleeve. "How am I going to explain this to Yamino come washday?"
Little did Loki know, however, that later in the week, he would discover that he was not the only one who would be facing this problem next time Yamino decided to wash all the clothes by hand to further reaffirm his status as a raging homosexual.
Luckily for Ecchan's other partner, however, the striking shade of green quite suited that big, red ribbon that usually covered her cleavage.