[Buffy and the gang finish off the vampire hordes. But then things only get worse for Buffy. Scott Hope is going to make Angelus proud by really getting underneath Buffy's skin. Then she gets in a fight with, of all vampires, Spike. Not to mention Anya's inappropriate comments about Xander's penchant for pre-sex role playing and Giles's Anya-esque metaphor for how Connor sees Buffy-Angel.]
Connor and Dawn are upstairs in his bedroom. Dawn seems a bit nervous.
DAWN: Nice candles.
CONNOR: The lights don't work in some rooms.
DAWN: Right. I noticed that.
CONNOR: I found these in the basement when I moved in.
DAWN: Well. They're . . . nice.
Dawn is standing with her back to Connor about ten feet in front of him. Connor walks over, hugs Dawn from behind and kisses her neck.
CONNOR: Something the matter?
Dawn turns around.
DAWN: Connor, there's something I want to tell you.
CONNOR: Okay.
Connor takes her hands in his, backs up and sits on the end of the bed. Dawn looks down at him.
DAWN: I know we haven't really known each other that long, so this may sound a little weird, and it may scare you or freak you out, but I love you, Connor.
CONNOR: I love you too, Dawn.
DAWN: You do??
CONNOR: Yeah. My whole life, people cared about me because of who my father was, or because I could do something for them. You're the first person to care about me for no reason except that I make you happy, and you want me to be happy. Of course I love you.
Dawn leans forward and kisses Connor. He puts his arms around her, lies back on the bed, and she gets on top of him.
Buffy and the gang walk down Main Street.
GILES: How did you already know this?
SPIKE: Back in New York, when vampires tried to defy me, I chopped off their arms and legs and dumped what was left in Battery Park. They'd scream and moan until the sun rose and took them out of their misery. First time I noticed, I was as surprised as you were. Guys gets toasted, and his leg in some sewer two miles uptown also catches on fire.
GILES: Did it work? Your method of terrorizing vampires?
XANDER: Can we talk about something a little less gory and sadistic?
ANYA: I was rather liking Spike's story. Their ability to withstand punishment makes vampires very excellent targets for vengeance. Once, in Goteburg, I tried to curse this adulterer, but between the time he betrayed his wife and when I arrived to punish him, he had been turned into a vampire. I looked at unexpected development this as an opportunity. I could torture a vampire in so many more ways than I could a weak, fragile human.
SPIKE: I hate to be agreeing with Xander, but can we change the subject?
BUFFY: Shouldn't we be tracking the rest of them down? They could have split up.
GILES: They'll come to you.
BUFFY: Why wouldn't they feed and make me come to them?
SPIKE: They can feed anywhere in the world. Vampires only come to this town for one reason.
BUFFY: Let me guess. To kill me?
SPIKE: You think we come for the culture?
GILES: Spike's right.
ANYA: About this town being a dead-end backwater?
GILES: Yes. But also about their purpose. They see a rare opportunity to overwhelm a Slayer through sheer force of numbers.
XANDER: And know we see them.
Two blocks down the road, across from City Hall and near the high school, 25 vampires have assembled on the town green. They are formed up in a wedge five rows deeps, one in front, three behind him, five behind them, seven behind them, and nine in back. Buffy approaches, with Spike behind her and to her left, Giles behind her and to her right, Anya behind and to the left of Spike, and Xander behind and to the right of Giles. Anya holds a crossbow in her right hand and Spike's large ax in her left (she needs it more than he does). Giles holds a crossbow and Xander holds a mace in his right hand and Buffy's sword in his left. (Giles put the chainsaw back in the trunk of his car. He worried that a vampire could take it away from him and use it to go after Buffy.) Buffy stops advancing when she is 100 feet away from the vampires. The two delta formations stare at each other. Neither seems willing to make the first move.
ANYA: Would this be the overwhelming part?
XANDER: We forgot to bring the fire with us. I miss fire.
Buffy stares down the vampire at the apex of the wedge. Spike and Giles don't seem worried.
SPIKE: Now might be a good time for me to finish my story.
XANDER: We don't care about your stupid story!
SPIKE: Yes Rupert. It did work. Because they'd rather run that fight. Get it?
GILES: I knew that even before I heard your grisly fable.
ANYA: You mean this is all a big game of chicken? That's your plan? Make them blink first?
BUFFY: More than half of them are already dead. They have every reason to run.
XANDER: And if they don't?
BUFFY: We slay them until they do.
ANYA: A lives are still hanging by a lot of ifs.
The four vampires in the first two rows rush at Buffy. After a moment of indecision, the five vampires in the third row also attack. The other 16 vampires stay where they are. The five vampires closest to Buffy go after her and Spike. Giles, Xander and Anya group together and back up. The other four vampires come at them. GIles fires his crossbow and dusts one of them. Anya drops her ax and aims her crossbow. She hits a vampire in the chest, but misses his heart by an inch. He goes after her. The other two vampires hold back after seeing one of their own get dusted right in front of them. The attacking vampire pulls the bolt out of his chest with his right hand and tries to stab Anya in the neck. She grabs his right arm with both her hands. He knocks her on her back with a left hook. Xander and Giles attack the vampire from his left. Xander hits the vampire upside the head with his mace. Giles pops him in the face with the front of his crossbow. Smarting from this blow, the vampire grabs the crossbow from Giles's hands and tosses it to the pavement. Xander attempts another mace shot to the noggin. The vampire grabs the mace handle with his left hand and hits Xander's stomach with a right uppercut, knocking the wind out of him. Giles connects with a right hook, but then is knocked down by a right hook from the vampire. Xander nails the vampire in the mouth with a left jab, but is sent to the ground by the back of the vampire's left hand. Anya has gotten to her feet and picked up the ax. She swings at the vampire from his right and beheads him. She helps Giles and Xander up. They prepare for another attack, but it doesn't come right away. The vampires are focusing on what happens with Buffy.
Spike, who is to Buffy's left, hits a vampire that is on his right with a right jab. A vampire on his left hits Spike with a right hook. Spike answers with a right hook of his own, then knocks the vampire down with a right roundhouse kick. The other vampire hits Spike in the face with left and right punches. Spike takes a few steps back. He blocks the vampire's next two punches, then answers with three of his own, knocking this vampire down as well.
Buffy leaps at the vampire directly in front of her and knocks him down with a right kick. She decks the vampire to her right with a left roundhouse. She faces the vampire on her left, blocks a right hook, then responds with a right uppercut to her chin. She hits Buffy with a right roundhouse, but Buffy blocks a left kick, lands two left jabs, then knocks her down with a right back flip kick. She lands after the flip very close to the other two vampires. One kicks her in the back. She gives him a right elbow without turning around. The other vampire leaps at Buffy. She catches him in midair, slams him on his back and kicks him in the head while he's down. The other vampire tries a right kick for her head. Buffy ducks and sweeps the vampire's left leg, taking him down. The female leaps at Buffy and kicks her in the chest. She falls down in between the two male vampires, who are also on the ground, but Buffy vaults to her feet before they can grab her. She blocks a right kick from the female vampire and hits her with a right jab and left and right crosses. A left roundhouse sends the vampire spinning to the ground. Buffy tosses her stake at the vampire while she is on her back. She catches it between her hands and smiles. Buffy kicks down on the back of the stake, driving it into the vampire's heart. She looks shocked by the practical joke Buffy has played on her, and turns to dust. Buffy reaches down and picks up the stake. Crouching down, she pivots, confronts a vampire who is charging her, grabs his legs and tosses him over her shoulders. She goes after the other vampire.
Spike grabs one vampire and tosses him to the ground. He focuses on the other, landing left and right punches to his face. He knocks the vampire back with a right kick. The other vampire comes at Spike from his left. He pivots and knocks the vampire down with a right reverse kick to the chest. He approaches the other vampire, takes a right cross, but lands a left cross and a right uppercut. The uppercut sends him flying backwards. Spike turns as the other one charges him from behind. The vampire grabs Spike. Spike head-butts him, hits him with the back of his right hand, avoids a right jab, lands a left hook and kicks him in the ribs. Spike knocks him down with a right roundhouse and stakes him.
Buffy hits the vampire she is attacking with left and right punches to the stomach. She takes a right hook but connects with left and right crosses to the face. She kicks him in the chin, bashes his nose with a left jab, then stakes him. The other vampire facing her retreats, as does the remaining vampire fighting Spike and the two vampires who refrained from attacking Giles, Xander and Anya. These four vampire run back to the other 16, who then join in the general retreat. Within a minute they are gone.
ANYA: Is that it? Do we have to worry about those guys anymore?
SPIKE: Most will skip town as fast as they can run to their cars.
GILES: We killed more than half of the vampires who came here with them. The survivors got the message.
BUFFY: I think your mega-massacre sent that message. Thanks for the huge help. It's great to know I can count on you guys to slay vamps in mass quantities.
XANDER: Hold it. Count on? As in again? Sure, it was fun, but I'm not looking forward to being called on for a repeat performance.
ANYA: Can we get land mines? If we have to do this again, that would make things much easier. And what about hand grenades?
GILES: Oh dear. She's turning into the Initiative.
SPIKE: No she's not. She can actually kill vampires. I'd like to see one of them do what she did without their expensive gizmos and gadgets.
ANYA: Good point. Not only is Buffy superior to them, but all of us are. Xander is manlier than them. As so am I, I guess. Does this make me a bigger man than Riley?
Spike smirks and bites the inside of his lower lip to keep from laughing.
XANDER: That's a very unsettling notion. And a little bit of a turn-on. Which is even more unsettling.
ANYA: Relax. It's just the Slayer fetish. Me being a pretend Slayer. Like the role-playing we sometimes did before sex.
Xander looks down at the ground and gets very red-faced. Spike also appears to be embarrassed.
BUFFY: I really wish I hadn't heard that.
ANYA: It was Xander's idea. I only did it because it really turned him on.
XANDER: It's not what you think. Whatever you're thinking, it wasn't like that.
GILES: I wish the vampires were still attacking.
SPIKE: It wasn't like you made her wear certain outfits, right? [now that he has a soul, his guilty conscience betrays him.] What I mean is, it was a Slayer thing, not a Buffy thing.
Xander is mystified as to why Spike is trying to help him out. But he seizes the life preserver Spike has so inexplicably thrown towards him.
XANDER: Exactly.
ANYA: Of course. I would never pretend to be Buffy for him. Some things are too kinky even for me. Not that he EVER asked me to do that. NEVER. Because if he did I would have left him.
BUFFY: I think I'm going to kill some more vampires. Mopping up. You three go home. Great fighting. I'll be back in a little while.
Xander, Anya and Giles walk off towards their car.
XANDER: Why did you bring that up?
ANYA: I didn't know it would embarrass you. Buffy thinks everything's about her. It's like she her ego needs you to be sexually obsessed with her.
GILES: Anya, if you're not going to change the subject, then please do me the courtesy of hitting me over the head with the blunt side of your ax.
Buffy goes off scouting for vampires. Spike at first doesn't follow her, presumably because of guilty memories of that thing he did with Harmony.
BUFFY: Spike. Come on.
SPIKE: Sorry.
BUFFY: We have to kill that Lush demon.
SPIKE: Leshi.
BUFFY: Whatever. The big white furry thing that will help take my mind off you know what.
SPIKE: I think you're overreacting to what Anya said.
BUFFY: I meant Dawn.
Driving home in the car.
GILES: Of course I'm worried that Connor might be under the control of the First. But what worries me even more is that he might not be.
XANDER: You think he's evil?
GILES: No. Evil things kill without motive.
XANDER: You're not what happened is Buffy's fault?
GILES: Certainly not. But if Connor attempted to kill Buffy out of his own free will, he will try to do it again.
XANDER: What could possibly be his motive?
ANYA: Sounds like I'm not alone in my Buffy the Homewrecker theory.
XANDER: There was no home for her to wreck!
GILES: We know that. But Connor doesn't. Everyone wants to believe their parents loved each other, even if they are evil. The idea that your mother was not first in your father's heart is very painful. Imagine if Buffy's father came to town and told her that he had fallen in love. With Cordelia. And furthermore, he told Buffy that he had never really loved Joyce, and that Cordelia was the one true love of his life. How do you think Buffy would take that news?
ANYA: I never knew you had such a disturbing imagination. I'm very impressed.
XANDER: It's not even remotely like that. For starters, Joyce wasn't evil!
GILES: As I said before, try to understand it from Connor's skewed and tremendously distorted point of view.
ANYA: Dear God. I had no idea his hatred was so visceral. In Connor's mind, Buffy must be some sort of horrible monster.
XANDER: One more reason we have to get him out of this town right away. Am I right, Giles?
GILES: Yes. Finally.
ANYA: I wonder how Dawn's going to feel about you guys running her man out of town.
XANDER: He's not her – they're not – they can't be. It's just downright unnatural.
ANYA: Maybe she'll step her juvenile delinquency up a notch. Go from shoplifting to arson, perhaps. Or she get chatty with some Vengeance Demons again. My point is, sometimes the disease can be worse than the cure.
Buffy and Spike happen upon two vampires in an alley. They have just bitten into a middle-aged couple. Buffy grabs one vampire by the back of his hair, pulls him off the man, and knocks him to the ground with a right cross. The other vampire stops biting the woman, notices Buffy and Spike, and decides to make a run for it. Spike chases him. The terrified couple gets away as fast as they can. When the vampire returns to his feet, Buffy grabs his shirt and pushes his back against the wall.
BUFFY: And now it's your turn to get attacked.
She punches the vampire four times in the face, slams the back of his head into the wall when he tries to run away, then hits him with two right jabs and a left uppercut. She stakes him and walks away, not sure where Spike is. While traveling along Main Street, a man on the opposite sidewalk sees Buffy and bolts. Not very smart. She couldn't even tell he was a vampire from that distance, especially since he had on his human face and his fashions were not at all outlandishly anachronistic. Buffy gives chase.
Spike chases the vampire for about two blocks. The vampire tries hiding behind a dumpster. Spike pushes the dumpster out of the way. The vampire who was hiding hits Spike in the face with a metal trash can lid. Spike grabs his nose in pain. The vampire hits Spike in the chin with a right uppercut. Spike goes bumpy and grabs the vampire by the throat with his left hand.
SPIKE: I'm not an idiot. I know this won't kill you.
Spike delivers two right punches to the vampire's stomach. He lets go of the neck and hits the vampire in the face with right and left hooks, then gives him a right kick to the nose. He grabs the back of the vampire's jacket and throws him face-first into the pavement.
SPIKE: And neither will this.
Spike grabs the vampire's hair and slams his head into a wall. Then he slams it twice into the street. Spike lets go and stomps his right foot four times on the vampire's skull. He stops when he notices it's fractured and blood and brains are oozing out. Spike goes back to his human face, grabs his nose and pulls it back into place. He stomps once on the vampire's skull with his left boot, then rolls the vampire on his back so he can look him in the face.
SPIKE: I know that can't feel good. Care to say "I'm sorry"? Or has the part of your brain that allows you to talk already oozed out of your cranium? I don't like making you suffer. Who am I kidding? I bloody well like it. What I meant was, I don't like having to go to the trouble of making you suffer. I much prefer quick, clean and painless deaths. But you had other ideas. [pulls out his stake] Now nod if you want me to kill you.
The vampire nods twice. Spike bends down and stakes him.
SPIKE: Nothing like granting a bloke his dying wish.
Spike walks into a nearby tavern.
SPIKE: Bourbon, straight up. Make it a double.
Spike sees a man at the other end of the bar hitting on an attractive young woman. He decides to make some trouble. It's been a while since he's had a good bar fight.
The vampire flees one block east, crosses a street, climbs up on the roof of a building and keeps running forward. Buffy runs on to the next street. The vampire doubles back, jumps down to the sidewalk and runs north for two blocks, where he smells blood. He ducks into an alley where a small vampire is feeding off a burly teenager who is wearing a Sunnydale Football varsity jacket. The vampire senses someone is trying to vulture his kill. He turns to the new arrival and growls. When he has had his fill, he drops the body to the ground.
SCOTT: All yours, loser.
The vampire bites down on the victim's left wrist and sucks up a few drops before he hears someone running up a nearby street. He lets go of the victim and rises to his feet. "It's the Slayer," he whispers. Scott smiles.
SCOTT: Don't worry. I got your back.
Scott grabs the vampire from behind and throws him out onto the street. Buffy turns around and comes at him. He looks to his right at Scott, who is still hiding in the alley. Scott smiles, shrugs, leans against the wall, and gets a good look at Buffy in action while being concealed in the darkness. He goes back to his human face, wiping the blood off his lips and chin. Buffy hits the vampire in the face with a right hook, kicks him in the stomach, and lands a left uppercut to his chin. He falls on his back. When he gets up, he tries a right hook which Buffy blocks. She connects with two right jabs, then a left roundhouse kick which sends him back to the ground. Buffy bends down and stakes him.
BUFFY: Seems like they're getting easier.
SCOTT: [whispering] Wrong.
Buffy walks south. Scott runs one block west, one block north, then one block east. He runs towards Buffy from behind. She turns around. When she sees Scott, she puts away her stake. Scott looks nervous and is hyperventilating.
SCOTT: Buffy. Things are crazy out here tonight. I'm scared.
BUFFY: It's okay. I'll take care of it.
SCOTT: Right. Cause you're the protector. The one who looks out for us.
BUFFY: Yeah. Same old, same old for me.
Scott smiles. He's acting like his old sweet, sensitive self.
SCOTT: It's been such a long time. I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch.
BUFFY: It's okay. People grow apart after high school.
SCOTT: You might have heard that I've undergone a few major changes in my life.
Scott smiles sheepishly, like he's embarrassed discussing this with an ex-girlfriend.
BUFFY: I heard something about your . . . lifestyle change.
SCOTT: That's one way of putting it. I want you to know, it's entirely your fault.
Spike downs the drink and smashes the glass into the man's left temple.
SPIKE: You should try leaving the birds alone.
The vampire goes bumpy, growls and grabs Spike. Spike head-butts him and tossed him into the back wall. The woman slaps Spike in the face. "What is your problem, jerk!?"
SPIKE: He would have hurt you in the end.
Spike heads to the back of the bar, grabs the vampire, and throws him out the rear exit. Spike heads out after him. "He didn't even pay for his drink!," the bartender angrily notes. None of the people inside saw the guy's vampire face, so they just assume Spike's some psycho who beats up guys who make him jealous. Spike picks up a broken-off piece from a 2x4 which he finds propped up next to the dumpster. The vampire looks at Spike. He's confused.
LENNY: Where are your freaking manners? You don't just move in on another guy's territory! Find your own place to feed.
SPIKE: Manners? Etiquette? We're vampires!!
Spike whacks Lenny in the side of the head with the 2x4. Lenny goes down. Spike stakes him with the pointy end of the wooden board. He laughs when he realizes that he did just this sort of thing when he was evil. Except back then he would go back into the bar, eat the girl, the bartender and anyone else who caught his eye or gave him lip.
Buffy is hurt and outraged by Scott's accusation.
BUFFY: What is this, some kind of joke?
SCOTT: It's the truth. I am the man I am today because I dated you. You are responsible for what I've become. I think it would be best if you face facts and stop living in denial.
He hits her face with a right hook. Buffy goes down. She wasn't prepared for the punch. As she gets up, a look of horror comes across her face as Scott smiles down at her.
BUFFY: Oh no.
SCOTT: Oh yes.
He throws another right hook. Buffy blocks it and lands a right hook of her own. Scott goes bumpy. It's painful for Buffy to witness. She kicks him in the mouth. He backs up. She leaps at him and kicks him in the face. Then she lands a left jab. Scott responds with a left jab and tries a right cross. Buffy ducks to avoid it. She hits Scott with a right hook. He hits her back with one of his own. She sends him to the ground with a left roundhouse kick. Buffy stands there and recovers her composure as Scott rises to his feet. He goes back to his human face.
SCOTT: It's okay, Buffy. I know you have to kill me. It doesn't have to be difficult. Why don't you tell me to close my eyes? That's what Angel did.
Buffy is stunned by this revelation. To add insult to injury, that's what she told Angel before she sent him to Hell. Scott takes advantage of Buffy's distraction. He kicks her in the face, grabs hold of her, and tosses her head-first into a utility pole. She gets up, looking angry and emotionally wounded. The sort of look she had right before she kicked Angelus in the groin five years ago. Scott's just making it easier for Buffy to kill him.
SCOTT: Now I know why you lost interest in me. Hell, I would have dumped you for Angel. Let's face it. The guy's a major hottie.
Buffy hits Scott in the face with a right cross. He goes bumpy and keeps backing up, buying time for more taunts.
SCOTT: That man sure knows how to fill out a pair of leather pants. What a hunk! Rare to find beefcake with such a pretty face. And that smile. To die for.
Buffy lands two left jabs. Scott responds with a right hook. Buffy follows this up with two of her own. Scott kicks her in the stomach. He tries a right uppercut, but Buffy grabs his right fist, pulls his right arm behind his back, and tosses Scott face-first to the ground. When she closes in, he trips her up, then gets to his feet. When he attacks Buffy while she's down, she kicks him in the face and vaults to her feet. Then she lands a left roundhouse, causing Scott to take a few more steps back. He gets a big smile on his vampire face.
SCOTT: Do realize that now we have something in common? We were both seduced by Angel! And what's more, after he hurt us, WE BOTH FORGAVE HIM!!!
Buffy floors him with a right hook. She reaches down and gives him two left punches before pulling Scott up to his feet. She throws him into the wall, leaps at him and kicks Scott in the head.
SCOTT: Hey! Come on!! Remember, I'm the victim here!
Buffy punches him with two left-right combinations.
SCOTT: We both know who the villain is.
Buffy gives Scott a right kick to the stomach, then a right kick to the ribs, then a left kick to the head. She grabs Scott's collar with her left hand and connects with three straight right hooks. Even she knows these are gratuitous. Buffy keeps holding onto Scott with her left hand and grabs her stake with her right hand. Scott goes back to his battered, bloodied and bruised human face.
SCOTT: Shouldn't you be doing this to Angel?
Buffy stakes him, then stands around, trying to deal with what just happened. She thought demon-killing would take her mind off her personal problems. But Angelus had other ideas. Thirty seconds after Scott Hope turned to dust, Spike comes running up.
SPIKE: There you are. Something bothering you?
BUFFY: I just staked an ex-boyfriend.
SPIKE: I'll go out on a limb and assume he was human when you dated him.
BUFFY: Angel sired him last night.
SPIKE: That sounds like Angelus.
Buffy gets a confused look on her face.
BUFFY: Scott was gay. [Spike shrugs]
SPIKE: Plying the rough trade. Guess Angelus really is back to his old tricks.
Spike walks towards the forest. Buffy walks alongside him.
BUFFY: What is that supposed to mean?
SPIKE: Nothing. I'm sure he sired the guy only because of his connection to you. Wait a bloody minute. Was he gay when you dated him? I know you have a preference for chaste relationships with men –
BUFFY: He wasn't. Not back then. Started going out with another girl like the same day he broke up with me. He dated a lot of girls. And what's that supposed to mean about my chaste relationships with men?
SPIKE: What's with the paranoia?
BUFFY: What's with the subtext?
SPIKE: There's no bloody subtext. When did you get so thin-skinned and defensive?
BUFFY: Around the same time you got so snide.
SPIKE: Haven't I always been snide?