[Lindsey finally meets the Scoobies and tells them all about his past and present.,]
Kennedy had Willow. Amanda had Preston. And Rona now had Clarence. Molly was beginning to feel left out. Surely there was a cute boy out there just waiting for her to come and save him. Molly walked up to the balcony and looked around. But the vampires had grown smart enough not to hunt in the club when Buffy was there. This meant the people were safe. It also meant poor Molly was out of luck. Then she saw what looked to her like a fight. One teenage boy – a vampire, she impulsively presumed – was attacking another teenage boy. Actually, Clarke was horsing around with Keith, teasing Keith for backing down to Connor that afternoon. He was playfully showing his friend how he should have handled the situation. Clarke tried to get Keith in a wrestling hold, Keith broke free, Clarke hit him in the right shoulder, pretended to hit him in the face, then pushed him backwards when Keith grabbed Clarke's arms.
Molly hurries over. She hits Clarke in the chest with a round roundhouse kick. The blow knocks him six feet backwards. He flips over a couch and lands on the ground with a thud. Molly turns to Keith.
MOLLY: Are you all right?
For the moment, Keith is too stunned to speak. Clarke stands up, dazed and confused. Molly charges him. He put his hands out and backs up in fear. She realizes he isn't a vampire.
CLARKE: Are you the girl I hooked up with last month at that party in Escondido? No, you're definitely not her. Are you one of her friends? Look, I'm sorry I didn't call her, but I thought we had an understanding.
MOLLY: What the bloody hell are you blathering on about?
KEITH: Good question.
Molly is feeling a little embarrassed.
MOLLY: Look, I'm sorry. I thought you were something else.
CLARKE: It's okay. We're cool.
He quickly gets away from her. And a minute ago he was mocking Keith for being scared of a couple girls. She looks at Keith, all red-faced and mortified.
MOLLY: I'm really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your friend.
KEITH: He had it coming.
Molly smiles, relieved.
MOLLY: Would you like to dance?
KEITH: Wouldn't wanna risk saying no to you.
Clarke's friends are giving him a hard time about getting decked by a girl.
CLARKE: She blind-sided me. It was a sucker punch.
ROBBIE: Bum rush are not, she did knock you halfway across the room.
CLARKE: I dunno. Maybe she does kick boxing or something. Woulda knocked you on your ass, too.
GENE: She seems much more gentle with Keith.
CLARKE: I didn't do anything to her. We never even met! Why would she come after me like that?
ROBBIE: Girls around here have been acting real funny lately.
Rona and Clarence are dancing.
CLARENCE: What happened to that guy? It was like he disappeared. Did his forehead look swollen to you?
RONA: It's over. Don't worry about it. I took care of it.
Connor and Dawn walk into the Bronze. Connor has his right arm around her shoulders. Dawn holds his right hand in her right hand. They walk past Clarke and his friends. Clarke glares at Connor. Dawn glances at the boys, who take a few steps back.
GENE: When did Dawn go from flaky to scary?
Connor and Dawn walk past the pool table, say hi to Edgar and Lacey. Then they join up with Kit, Elijah Denise and Carlos. They see Clarence with Rona.
DAWN: Rona! You and Clarence? That is so cool! How did you guys meet?
CONNOR: Rona probably saved his life.
Connor and Dawn laugh, as do Kit and Carlos. But they notice Clarence isn't laughing, while Rona is smirking.
CONNOR: Don't sweat it, Clarence. Happens all the time. Just ask Preston.
Preston's nearby, with Amanda.
PRESTON: Ask me what?
CLARENCE: Ya know somethin' Pres, you never told me how it happened.
PRESTON: How what happened?
Clarence goes off to confer in private with his varsity basketball teammate. They whisper to each other.
PRESTON: And then it was gone? Vanished into thin air?
CLARENCE: You too?
PRESTON: I don't believe this. Okay, I didn't believe it then. Just nice to know I wasn't the only one. Did she act like it was no big deal?
CLARENCE: Like she'd done it before.
PRESTON: That's why you shouldn't feel bad. She isn't stronger than you. She just knew something you didn't. Doesn't make you any less of a man.
CLARENCE: You talkin' to me, or to yourself?
PRESTON: Okay, yeah, maybe it was a little embarrassing. Just glad none of you guys saw it.
CLARENCE: I know what you mean. Don't worry. Secret's safe with me.
CARLOS: That is so cool. Just amazing. Clarence is one lucky guy. [Denise looks a little peeved at how nice Carlos is being to Rona.] He's lucky you were there. Otherwise, well, you know.
He smiles at Rona. Denise, who is holding Carlos's hand, starts to squeeze it. Carlos winces.
DENISE: Carlos, can we talk?
CARLOS: Excuse me one moment. What is it, baby?
DENISE: Don't play dumber.
CARLOS: I was just being nice. You thought I was flirting with her?
DENISE: No. I thought you were comin' on to her.
CARLOS: You're buggin'. You know how crazy I am about you.
DENISE: But you'd like me even more if I saved your life?
CARLOS: Well, duh. No, forget that. What I meant was – that's a trick question, right?
Elijah and Kit are surprised to see Keith with Molly. Molly notices them.
MOLLY: Hi Kit.
Keith is rather startled.
KEITH: You two know each other?
ELIJAH: Small world. Well, small town. Say Keith, we're all set on that little ticket matter, right?
KEITH: Forget it.
ELIJAH: That's what I like to hear. [Pats Keith condescendingly on the left shoulder with his right hand.] This is a good guy you've found, Molly.
Elijah and Kit walk away.
MOLLY: You're friends with Kit? What a coincidence!
Keith is still a little bewildered.
KEITH: You're telling me.
KIT: You're really beginning to take this tough guy thing a little too far.
ELIJAH: If they ever call my bluff, you got my back, right?
KIT: Don't count on it, Eli. I'm not bailing you out of fights you start.
ELIJAH: No need to worry. I may be good at talking myself into trouble; but I'm just as good at talking myself out of trouble.
KIT: Don't I know it.
Lorne puts the key card in and opens the door at the hotel. He's dancing and singing, still happy about his musical triumph in Sunnydale.
LORNE: "Try a little tenderness, a little tenderness. Try, try, try, sock it to me! Try a little tenderness."
Lorne looks at Wes, Gunn, Fred, Faith and Gwen. They're all badly bruised. None of them looks especially happy. Lorne tones down his enthusiasm.
LORNE: Rough night?
GUNN: Angelus was in the zone.
FAITH: Try invincible.
WES: I'd go with inspired. Drusilla clearly had an effect on him.
LORNE: You're all still alive. So he couldn't have been that great.
GWEN: You seem mighty chipper.
LORNE: I killed in Sunnydale. With my singing. At the Bronze.
WES: You performed at that club?
FAITH: No way.
LORNE: Did a little warmup act for Lindsey. The people absolutely loved me. Someone even joked I should run for mayor.
Faith looks down at the floor and appears upset. Wesley understands, and he also looks a little uncomfortable. The others don't notice.
FRED: What was that Buffy Slayer like?
LORNE: Nice girl. Absolutely blown away by Lindsey.
Faith's eyes light up.
FAITH: How blown away?
LORNE: Jaw dropped to the floor blown away.
FAITH: B's hot for Lindsey!
Finally, she has something Buffy might want.
LORNE: She wasn't alone, honey. All the women in that club went gaga the moment he hit the stage and started singing.
FAITH: Even Willow?
LORNE: And her girlfriend.
WES: Girlfriend? Willow's gay?
FRED: I've never seen Lindsey sing. Is he good?
LORNE: With his looks, he doesn't have to be. But he is.
WES: When did Willow become a lesbian?
GUNN: Did you read him?
LORNE: Yes. He's really reformed. Completely on the up-and-up. Though I did sense some megalomania.
WES: He wants to take over the world? Then part of him must still be evil.
LORNE: No, he wants power for the right reasons. That said, there's no such thing as good megalomania. Even if the intentions are good –
WES: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
GWEN: Sounds like you don't know many evil people.
FAITH: As someone who has been evil, I gotta agree with Gwen.
FRED: Any word on Connor?
LORNE: I saw him. With Dawn. They came late in the show, a little before I left. Gave off a huge love vibe. The kind where two people love each other so much they'll kill anyone who gets between them. A little scary. But, on the plus side, he was happy.
GUNN: Happy, but homicidal?
FRED: That would be an improvement.
LORNE: And Buffy's friends all say he's been really nice to everyone lately.
FRED: Super-nice Connor. Anyone else find that positively terrifying?
Gunn, Wes and Lorne all raise their hands.
After a half-hour of dancing and hanging their friends at the Bronze, Dawn and Connor leave for home. A quarter-mile down the road, both of them hear a scream. It is from an alley a block away They run there and see a vampire holding a terrified woman from behind, about to bite her. Connor rushes the male vampire. He lets go of the woman right before Connor kicks him in the face. Dawn helps the woman up.
DAWN: Are you okay?
NANCY: Never better.
Nancy smiles and goes bumpy. Dawn screams and hits her in the face with a right jab.
DAWN: Connor, it's a setup!
The male and female vampires slowly back away from Dawn and Connor. Now they notice that two vampires came into the alley after them, and that they are surrounded.
CONNOR: You went to all this trouble for us? I'm flattered.
The four vampires pull out aluminum baseball bats.
CONNOR: Okay. Not so flattered.
NANCY: The girl can go.
They'll be too busy beating Connor to death to bother with feeding off Dawn.
CONNOR: But then I'd have to kill all of you by myself.
The vampires look at each other. They can't understand why Connor won't take the opportunity to save this girl from certain death. The four vampires charge at Dawn and Connor from both directions. Connor kicks the vampire in front of him with his right foot, but the vampire behind him strikes Connor in the left knee. The two vampires quickly follow up with blows to the back and the skull. He falls to the ground. Nancy and the other vampire attack Dawn. Nancy strikes her in the ribs. The other one swings for the side of her head. Dawn tries to blocked the blow with her arms, and the bat hits her in the left forearm. She is then hit in the lower back and in her Adam's apple. She also falls.
On the ground, Connor grabs one the bats as it swings towards him. The vampire holds on to the handle, and Connor is able to fling him into concrete wall. When the other vampire swings for Connor, he rolls out of the way. Connor stands up. The vampire who missed Connor when he was on the ground swings for his head. Connor ducks. He kicks the male vampire who is attacking Dawn. Dawn sweeps Nancy's legs. Connor grabs Dawn by the hand and helps her up. The vampire Connor failed to knock down goes for his face. Dawn grabs the barrel of the bat. Connor kicks the vampire in the stomach, punches him on the face and tosses him into a vampire who had just stood up. The vampires now block the path back onto the street they came from, so Connor and Dawn continue running down the alley. Connor gets behind a dumpster and pushes towards the four vampires giving chase. They continue fleeing for home.
Once out of the alley, they turn left and run for two blocks. Then Connor grabs Dawn's hand and turns right, onto a residential side street. Dawn knows this isn't the quickest way to Connor's house, but assumes he must have a reason. With Connor in the lead, they run for another 200 feet, then stop in the middle of the block. The street is lined with two-story stucco houses. Each of the houses is 20 feet wide and situated on a lot 25 feet in width. On one side of each house is an eight foot driveway, which it shares with the neighboring house. On the other side of each house is a two foot-wide alley, which it shares with its other neighbor. Connor ducks into one of these narrow alleys. Dawn follows, unsure of what Connor is up to. The narrow alley reminds Connor of a trick he learned climbing rocks in Quor-toth. He puts his feet against one wall, his hands and back against the other and climbs up between the walls. Dawn quickly finds that this doesn't require vampire powers, and she does the same.
Soon both of them are 15 feet off the ground, facing each other, Connor's feet next the Dawn's head and Dawn's feet next to Connor's head. Dawn is about to ask Connor what they were supposed to do now. Connor puts his right index finger over her lips. He doesn't want her to give away their hiding spot. When Connor pulls out two stakes from his jacket pockets, Dawn finally realizes what his is up to. The vampires had ambushed them. Now they would return the favor. She takes out her stakes and waits, trying to catch her breath without giving away their position. The vampires run up and down the street. One of the them hears breathing between two of the houses. The four vampires move into the alley, baseball bats brandished, ready to finish off their victims. That is, if they could find their victims.
When the four vampires are directly underneath them, Connor and Dawn jump down, a stake in each hand. The vampires are dust before they know what hit them. Dawn breathes a huge sigh of relief. Connor looks at her and smiles. Dawn grabs Connor and kisses him.
DAWN: That was close.
CONNOR: You were great.
DAWN: No. We were great.
They run out into the street and head for home.
Drusilla is in the Hyperion courtyard, sniffing the Jasmine. Angelus comes out of nowhere and sweeps her off her feet. She laughs.
DRU: Peaches to see you awl jolly again.
ANGELUS: You weren't thinking of heading in? The night is still young.
DRU: Back to your old self again. Makes my blood boil with mirth.
Dru purrs and snaps her jaws playfully. Angelus spins her round, then puts her down. He walks out. She gleefully follows.
ANGELUS: Baby, I'm better than my old self.
Drusilla moans happily.
DRU: The stars look lovely.
Angelus glances upwards. With all the lights in the city, you can't see a single star. Angelus laughs. Dru hasn't changed one bit.
The show has just ended. Buffy is wrangling the Potentials, making sure everyone is present and accounted for. Suddenly some of the Potentials' eyes get real big and they look surprised. Lindsey is walking over to them. He has on what he finished the concert with – blue jeans and a sweat-soaked black sleeveless t-shirt. Buffy quickly turns around and is startled to see Lindsey standing a mere five feet in front of her. She smiles nervously.
LINDSEY: I was wondering if you wanted to come backstage.
Buffy stands open-mouth in stunned silence. Anya gasps. Spike gets right up in Lindsey's face and looks down at him.
LINDSEY: Settle down, Spike.
Spike moves back, surprised Lindsey knows his name.
LINDSEY: I think you might have misunderstood me.
ANYA: You mean you weren't propositioning Buffy for quick groupie sex?
Lindsey laughs for a few seconds. Buffy begins to feel strangely insulted.
LINDSEY: Lorne didn't tell any of you who I was? My history with Angel?
BUFFY: History? How could you - ?
LINDSEY: Oh boy. This will take a while. I'm gonna change. All of you are welcome to come by in five minutes.
Lindsey walks away. Everyone is silent and confused for a few seconds.
ANYA: Now that was entirely unexpected.
WILLOW: Lorne's good friends with Angel. Lindsey's good friends with Lorne.
GILES: You think Lindsey might be one of Angel's friends?
SPIKE: I'm liking this guy less and less.
XANDER: Pretty boy doesn't look like much of a demon fighter.
GILES: Go find out his story. See if he has any information which might help us. I'll take the girls back home.
The Potentials pout and whine.
GILES: I'm sorry. But it's very late. Andrew, you can drive the other automobile.
ANDREW: But it's not past my bedtime! And I wanted to learn the mystery man's secrets.
Giles, Andrew and the Potentials walk out of the Bronze.
ROSE: Did you get a look at those big blue eyes?
MADARI: It was like I could swim in them.
AMANDA: I saw you with Prashant. Did you save his life?
MADARI: No. I went over and talked to him.
ROSE: I did the same with Eric. You don't need to use violence to get a guy to like you.
MOLLY: I know. But violence makes it so much easier.
DAWN: Wow. That was . . . Wow.
CONNOR: That was the best.
Connor lies to Dawn's right. He starts kissing her neck and puts his arms her. He looks elated. She looks a little worried.
DAWN: Was it the best because of that vampire ambush?
CONNOR: It did add to the excitement.
DAWN: That's the problem.
CONNOR: What? Problem how?
DAWN: We could be tempted to make a habit out of risking our lives to, you know, add to the excitement. I don't want to turn our relationship into an extreme sport. Our lives are dangerous enough already.
CONNOR: That's not why it was exciting. Danger's not sexy. It's ordinary. Normal. It was exciting because we were in it together. We were fighting for each other. Reminded me how much I love you. How much you mean to me.
Dawn rolls onto her right side and kisses Connor.
DAWN: Now there's the sweet, sensitive guy I fell in love with.
Connor runs his right hand over Dawn's stomach. They both smile.
CONNOR: How did you get these scars?
Dawn stops smiling and lies on her back. Connor remains on his left side, facing her.
DAWN: Its where they cut me when they tried to use my blood to open the portal.
CONNOR: It's amazing if you think about it. Only thing keeping the world from ending was your skin. Your smooth, precious, wonderful skin.
Connor starts kissing Dawn's stomach. She closes her eyes and smiles. Then he slowly goes lower. She opens her eyes her face lights with a mixture of surprise and exultation.
Lindsey explains who he is to Buffy, Spike, Willow, Anya and Xander.
BUFFY: You WERE evil, but you're not anymore?
ANYA: No, he worked for an evil enterprise. There's a difference.
SPIKE: You were only following orders. Gee, never heard that one before.
LINDSEY: I not going to defend myself or come up with excuses. Can't make my sins go away, and there's no point wasting my life wallowing in guilt. Ain't that right, Spike?
He knows Spike will appreciate the Angel dig.
XANDER: But you were only Angel's arch-enemy. So it wasn't like you were hurting innocent people. You were hurting Angel.
LINDSEY: That was only one of many assignments. None of which I'm proud of.
BUFFY: But the important thing is that you walked away and chose to become a better man.
Spike doesn't like Buffy's choice of words.
LINDSEY: Ya'al are awfully understanding.
WILLOW: We've all been evil at one time or another. Except for Buffy.
LINDSEY: I've heard this town can have that effect on people. Speaking of which, how has Connor been?
ANYA: Formerly evil. In other words, good.
WILLOW: For the last 48 hours.
BUFFY: He tried to kill me.
LINDSEY: Why did he do that?
BUFFY: Because his evil, blood-sucking mommy told him to. I mean, a fake version of his evil, blood-sucking mommy. Not that his real mom wouldn't have said the same thing.
LINDSEY: How does Connor feel about his mother?
SPIKE: Acts like he loves her. Got real steamed when he found out Angel staked her. Couldn't understand why Angel left her for Buffy, which of course he didn't, but that's not how Connor saw it. Definitely a momma's boy.
Lindsey grins.
SPIKE: Why do you care about Darla, anyway?
Lindsey takes a few seconds to respond. He's trying to anticipate their reactions to his news.
LINDSEY: I resurrected her. [absolute shock from the Scoobies] Not me, personally. I didn't do the magic. But I headed the program which brought her back to life.
Buffy's image of Lindsey has been tarnished.
BUFFY: So it's your fault Connor was born.
LINDSEY: That was an entirely unforeseen and unintended development.
SPIKE: Wait just a bloody minute. You're Baby Blue! Drusilla told me all about you. You were madly in love with her!
BUFFY: Drusilla!??
SPIKE: No. Darla.
BUFFY: And since a crazy woman told you this, it must be true.
LINDSEY: He's right. I was in love with Darla. When she was a human being.
SPIKE: Nice try, Baby Blue. You still loved her after she became a vampire. Practically begged her to sire you.
Finally, Spike had some dirt to use against Lindsey.
LINDSEY: You know all about embarrassing romantic desperation, don't you Spike? LIke the balcony scene at that hotel in Valparaiso. You remember, when she dropped the squid on your head? And we both know that's not even close to being the most humiliating part of the story.
Spike shuts up. Apparently Lindsey had some dirt on him.
BUFFY: Why did you bring her back in the first place?
LINDSEY: To make Angel become evil again.
XANDER: I thought you wanted to kill Angel?
LINDSEY: My superiors had a sudden change of heart.
ANYA: So your intention was to make Angel want to sleep with her, but instead you wanted to sleep with her. Sucks to be you. Unless you also had sex with her. Did you?
LINDSEY: When she was human.
WILLOW: So you could be Connor's father. A human getting pregnant and carrying the baby to term after becoming a vampire – okay, it's implausible – but maybe less implausible that a vampire becoming pregnant.
BUFFY: But if you were the father, Connor would be hot. Course, if Angel was the father, he should also be hot. I don't think we really know who Connor's father is.
Buffy knows better than this, but she can always hope.
XANDER: What exactly are you? Musician, evil lawyer, demon fighter, amputee. It's getting very confusing.
LINDSEY: I'm a lawyer. A non-evil lawyer.
XANDER: Those exist?
WILLOW: If there can be non-evil vampires, why not non-evil lawyers?
LINDSEY: And I'm not really a demon fighter. Sure, I've fought them. Just last night, and the night before that. But I'm more of a behind-the-scenes guy. I'm on the board at Next Defense, a company that makes equipment, hires out demon-fighting mercenaries. That's why I came to LA. Thought Angel's friends could use an army to back them up while the lights were out.
BUFFY: Army guys fighting demons. Sounds strangely familiar. And not in a good way.
LINDSEY: Some of the guys used to be based here. Graham, who led one of my teams, told me a thing or two about the Initiative. I've come across some dumb plans in my time, but that one just defies explanation. Almost dragged the company down with it.
BUFFY: They were involved?
LINDSEY: Made the mind-control microchips.
SPIKE: You're the wankers who put that bloody chip in my brain!?
LINDSEY: You still got one?
SPIKE: Had it removed a few months back.
LINDSEY: That must mean you were the vampire Graham said the Pentagon wasted $2 million helping. Interesting. Just for the record, they weren't designed for demons. They were intended for humans, to de-program assassins and keep them from going psychotic and killing innocents. Government ordered a bunch. Company couldn't understand why they wanted to control demon behavior. Seemed so much easier to kill the demons. Also, the product was still in the early stages of development. All they had ready was a crude prototype. Government was willing to pay a lot, so they sold em. If they malfunctioned, it would just hurt some demons, so it didn't matter if the product didn't work right. The current models are much more sophisticated. They can determine intent. Allows you to hurt people in self-defense, and to attack bad people. Plus they last a good 20 years. We only started human testing six months back. You're really lucky the one they put in you didn't make your a vegetable a long time ago. Hell, if you were human, you could have sued us for product liability. I might have been able to get you a $5 million settlement.
SPIKE: That's all? I endured some bloody awful pain and suffering.
WILLOW: Not to mention psychological trauma and loss of self-esteem from not being a able to kill people.
SPIKE: Damn right. Wait. You're being sarcastic and making fun of me.
BUFFY: Just a shot-in-the-dark question, but do you happen to know a soldier by the name of Riley Finn?
LINDSEY: The name's familiar. Finn. Finn? Where have I head that? I know! Do you mean Sam's husband?
XANDER: You know Sam?
LINDSEY: We tried to hire her for a commando operation. She wouldn't sign on unless we also hired her husband. It was a one-person job, so we got someone else. People in human resources called him Yoko Finn. [Spike laughs. He loves the Riley-bashing.] You know the guy?
BUFFY: We used to date.
LINDSEY: Makes sense. From what I've heard, he likes a woman who can dominate him. Can't say I blame the guy.
Lindsey smiles. Buffy smiles back. She thinks he's talking about her. He isn't.
ANYA: This is a private corporation which makes money fighting demons. How much money?
LINDSEY: Last year? $260 million gross. $40 million in pre-tax earnings.
ANYA: See Buffy. I told you that you could charge for Slaying.
LINDSEY: The military's been pulling back. They have other, more pressing priorities. So the private sector's filled the void. But almost all the work is overseas, with foreign governments footing the bill. What happened in LA was an aberration.
XANDER: They still use those zap guns?
LINDSEY: They do. But it's a secondary weapon. Wooden fragmentation grenades and napalm canisters do most of the killing. That's how you vaporize a couple dozen vampires real quick. Soldiers are still rather tentative about fighting vamps hand-to-hand. That's why they were impressed with Gunn and Fred and Wesley, with how fearless they were.
XANDER: They were impressed with Wesley?
BUFFY: Wesley? Fearless? [laughs] There must be some mistake.
LINDSEY: I know. He's changed a lot. Become a real-life tough guy. Even Faith respects him. I think he goes a bit overboard with the roguish persona. But he can fight. They all can.
BUFFY: Faith respects Lindsey. That's definitely something I never expected to hear.
SPIKE: Now that the sun's back, why are you still hanging round LA?
LINDSEY: I'm working with them. Actually, they're kind of working for me. Set up a new base for them at the hotel where I'm staying. They've been doing a good job of containing Angelus. Especially with Faith helping out. Now SHE really impressed the soldiers. Graham was just crazy about her. And he wasn't alone.
XANDER: Faith is working for you?
LINDSEY: No. Definitely not. Our relationship is more personal than professional.
Buffy looks stunned. She tries to spin it.
BUFFY: You slept with Faith. Had a fling. These things happen. Especially with her.
LINDSEY: It's more than that.
BUFFY: What?
LINDSEY: It's not a fling. At least not for me. I'm not that type of guy. Course I can't be sure how she feels. Faith's pretty guarded.
BUFFY: You . . . love . . . Faith? Why?
ANYA: Obviously Lindsey goes for women who used to be evil. By the way, do you know that I was a Vengeance Demon? Anyaka, the scourge of men for 11 centuries.
LINDSEY: Did you work for Lupernius?
ANYA: No one ever calls him by his first name. Made him very mad and violent.
LINDSEY: I did. He was afraid of my some of my superiors. But he got mighty steamed when I tried to hire away some of his demons. Bellowed on-and-on about honor and tradition and that Vengeance Demons couldn't be used as assassins. Real pompous. I think his real problem was that we were going to pay them a lot better than he ever would have.
ANYA: How much better?
LINDSEY: Low six figures per job. Maybe seven figures, depending on the hit.
ANYA: I sometimes wondered how much a Vengeance Demon could fetch on the open market.
LINDSEY: Eventually he vowed to immolate every last one of his girls before he'd let a single one of them work for us. For a guy who likes to punish men, he came off as a real misogynist.
BUFFY: I noticed that, too. Very ironic, wouldn't you say?
Spike's disgusted to see Buffy flirting with Lindsey. She has trouble accepting the fact that a gorgeous non-evil man could prefer Faith to her.
ANYA: Who exactly did you work for? It's just hard for me to imagine a mortal man talking that way to De Hofren and not getting eviscerated on the spot.
LINDSEY: It was hard to tell. They liked it that way. I think the ultimate leaders were a group of extremely powerful Lower Beings. The Senior Partners were the only humans who knew who was in charge.
SPIKE: What was the bloody point of it all? A bunch of lawyers not doing any, you know, legal work. Too busy failing to foil the plans of their enemies to be making any money. Why go to all the trouble of setting the whole thing up?
LINDSEY: They're planning an apocalypse.
WILLOW: These days, who isn't?
LINDSEY: I mean a real one. Not the fake ones you have here.
BUFFY: Excuse me! As someone who died twice saving the world, I have to say they seemed pretty real to me.
LINDSEY: Im sorry. I didn't mean to – Fake was the wrong word. I meant doomed. Our psychics said nothing active in Sunnydale would destroy the world. I guess they knew that in the end you would always win, that you were too good to ever lose. [Buffy smiles. Lindsey charmed his way out of that one.] After all, why would Wolfram & Hart go to the trouble of planning an apocalypse when someone stood a good chance of beating them to the punch?
WILLOW: Do they have a launch date?
LINDSEY: November, 2004. Been in the works for a millennia. Hellmouth's not supposed to be a factor by then.
BUFFY: You mean there's someone who's sure we're going to beat the First Evil? Okay, that someone is evil, but it's a start. Do you happen to know anything about the First?
WILLOW: It doesn't leave much of a paper trail. Really could use all the help we can get.
LINDSEY: The Firm didn't investigate other evil groups. Arrogance, I suppose. Think I once heard a Senior Partner mention something called the First in passing, and another Partner laughed. Like he thought the First was all head and no cattle. Don't know anything more than that. Sorry. [checks his watch] I probably should be heading back. If you want you guys can head over to the airport with me in the limo.
ANYA: Did you say limo?
WILLOW: What airline flies out of Sunnydale at this hour?
LINDSEY: I have my own plane.
XANDER: You mean like a little Cessna?
LINDSEY: Gulf Stream.
SPIKE: The company lets you borrow it?
LINDSEY: No. I own it.
ANYA: You have your own jet! I guess being evil really can pay.
Lindsey walks outside. The others follow.
LINDSEY: Actually, I made all my money after I left the Firm and went legit.
ANYA: How much money? Obviously in the tens of millions for you to take your own jet on a 90 mile trip.
SPIKE: If we go with you, how are we supposed to get home from the bloody airport?
LINDSEY: Limo's yours. Rented for the rest of the night.
He gets in, checks his voice mail from work and waits for them to decide if they're going to take him up on the offer.
XANDER: Did he perform a spell to fool all of us? Young, good-looking, filthy rich musician-slash-lawyer-slash-demon fighter on some mission of redemption.
WILLOW: It is a little too perfect.
BUFFY: Maybe we should check to see if he has that mark Jonathan had.
ANYA: If it is all a spell, shouldn't there be a swimsuit calendar?
SPIKE: Perhaps I'm alone in not seeing this bloke as some sort of ideal of perfection.
BUFFY: Of course he's not perfect. It's obvious he has a hideous taste in women.
XANDER: So do we take the limo?
ANYA: I don't see any reason why we shouldn't.
BUFFY: The last time I got into a limo I was hunted down by a group of hired killers.
WILLOW: You think this whole thing could be an extremely elaborate trap?
SPIKE: That settles it. I'm getting in. Be nice to end the evening with a spot of violence.
The five of them pile into the stretch limo. Lindsey sits in back on the right. To his left is Willow. Anya and Xander sit along the side in front of Willow. Xander's happy to discover the car has satellite television, and he flips through the channels. Buffy and Spike sit at the far end across from Willow and Lindsey. Spike looks through the mini-bar. He's happy to find Guiness in the fridge. Lindsey's cell phone starts ringing.
LINDSEY: Hello? [He is expecting Angel's demon-fighting friends from LA, and is disappointed to discover that it is not them.] Senator Edwards. Isn't it a little late for you to be calling me? Yes, I know you're having a fundraiser in Los Angeles tomorrow night. Sorry, I'm busy. Yes, I do consider you a friend. No, I wasn't snubbing you at Hilton Head in January. I just don't play golf. Yes, I am aware every trial lawyer in the state is backing you, but I've always been a maverick. No, I haven't given money to either of them. I'm still uncommitted. Sorry John. [hangs up]
WILLOW: What was that?
LINDSEY: Nothing. Presidential candidate hitting me up for money. Politics just isn't on my radar screen at the moment.
ANYA: What about at another moment?
LINDSEY: I have given some thoughts to running for state Attorney General one day. Scruggs says he'd endorse me when he leaves that post to run for governor. Couple state party officials believe I'd be perfect for a Senate run against Lott in '08. But I think that's over-reaching.
XANDER: And how would getting all this power help your quest for redemption?
LINDSEY: I'm not on a quest for redemption. Wouldn't do me any good.
AMANDA: When Prashant asked who you were, what did you tell him?
MADARI: Nothing serious. He didn't seem to care. Funny thing is, we're both here because of the Hellmouth. He used to live in Sunnyvale.
MOLLY: That's confusing. It sounds just like Sunnydale.
MADARI: The two towns couldn't be more different, according to him. His dad's from Hyderabad. Computer science engineer, of course. Last year his start-up went belly-up. Mum's a trauma surgeon. There's a big demand for them in this town. Local hospitals pay top dollar.
GILES: Fascinating. She's probably treated dozens of victims of demon attacks and not even known it.
After dropping Lindsey off at the airport, the Scoobies head for home in the limo.
WILLOW: It's so tragic.
ANYA: I know.
BUFFY: Isn't there something we can do? Willow, can't you rescue his soul?
WILLOW: Right now, it's with him. The problem is it's marked for Hell after he dies. And I don't know of any human magics which can liberate a soul from the depths of Hell. That's like playing God.
ANYA: But you've played God plenty of times!
WILLOW: Okay, it's more like being God. Which I can't do.
BUFFY: He was young. He made a mistake. He didn't know what he was getting himself into. He's forsaken evil. That has to count for something.
SPIKE: Think I made that same argument several times last year. You were pretty sure that in my case it didn't count for a bloody thing.
BUFFY: Spike, please. This is completely different.
SPIKE: You're right. He CHOSE to become evil. While he had a soul.
XANDER: Doesn't mean he can't get a second chance. It's not like he hasn't suffered. Angel did cut off his hand.
SPIKE: I forgot. He was the enemy of your enemy. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve another chance. I'm not even saying he's a bad guy.
ANYA: You're just jealous because Buffy cares more about his fate than she ever did about yours.
BUFFY: Anya, that's ridiculous!
ANYA: I meant before he got his soul back.
WILLOW: Lindsey's case is tragic in a whole other way. No matter how many good deeds he does, he'll still burn for eternity. He walks the earth a doomed man.
Lindsey enters his hotel room. Faith is sitting on the bed, watching television. He sees that she's more bruised than usual.
LINDSEY: Almost feel guilty for not getting beat up tonight.
FAITH: Heard you were wicked popular in Sunnydale.
LINDSEY: They were easy to please.
He gets on the bed.
LINDSEY: You had sex with Xander?
FAITH: Told you all my other conquests were losers.
LINDSEY: I know. But Xander.
FAITH: Never said those seven minutes were one of the highlights of my life. You get to meet B?
LINDSEY: Pretty sure she's jealous of you.
FAITH: Really.
Faith's eyes light up. She puts her hands under Lindsey's shirt and takes it off.
LINDSEY: She looked pretty crestfallen when I said I was with you. Like she thought a guy wanting you instead of her was a violation of Natural Law.
FAITH: You're tellin' me B had the hots for you?
LINDSEY: Sometimes people want something only because they can't have it.
They grin at each other. Faith laughs.
FAITH: What a waste.
Faith pulls Lindsey towards her and kisses him.
The limo drops the Scoobies off at home. Anya says a few words to the driver. They walk towards the front door.
BUFFY: Admit it. You're jealous of him.
SPIKE: Bollocks. I'm jealous of you're reaction to him. Least I'm man enough to admit it. Unlike yourself.
BUFFY: I just can't understand why he slept with Faith. She only sleeps with losers.
XANDER: Hey!
BUFFY: I mean men she believes to be losers. Incorrectly, in your case.
ANYA: From what I've seen, I'd say she has exquisite taste in men.
They enter the house.
GILES: You've been gone a long while. How was Lindsey?
ANDREW: Who is Lindsey?
BUFFY: Well. Were to begin.
ANYA: He used to be an evil lawyer who was Angel's arch-nemesis. He resurrected Darla, then fell in love with her. Currently he's in love with Faith. And he's good. He's a good lawyer/demon fighter/rock star. And he's obscenely rich.
ANDREW: He was evil? Like me! I told you I should have stayed to meet him. Obviously we're kindred souls.
WILLOW: For your sake, let's hope not.
GILES: Can someone run that by me again, with copious details, explanations and – if at all possible – footnotes?
WILLOW: I'll take it from the top.
ANDREW: I just love a good bedtime story.
AMANDA: Buffy, why are all the hot guys you know either evil or formerly evil?
SPIKE: Why thank you.
BUFFY: That's not . . . entirely true. Is it?
XANDER: What about me?
ANYA: Can I see you outside?
XANDER: Wait a minute. They didn't answer my question.
ANYA: I have.
Xander thinks a few seconds. Then he looks surprised when he realizes what she's hinting at. He heads out the door with her.
ANYA: I told the chauffeur to wait for us.
XANDER: Where are we going?
ANYA: Does it matter?
XANDER: You want to, in there, with me, now?
ANYA: We obviously have strong yet unfocused feelings for each other. Both of us enjoyed our previous bout of makeup sex. I found it very cathartic. Clearly we need to continue the healing.
XANDER: Are you saying you want to get back together?
Anya hits Xander's left shoulder with her right fist. He grabs it and winces.
ANYA: Have you been listening!? I want to get you out of my system. Put you behind me once and for all. Otherwise we'll be stuck with this sexual tension forever, end up like Buffy and Spike, confused and repressed and hopelessly stalemated. Do you want that to happen? Now get in.
He does. The car heads for the Pacific Coast Highway.
XANDER: Would that make this breakup sex instead of makeup sex? Or is it both?
ANYA: Anyone ever told you that you think too much?
XANDER: No . . . Hey, thanks.
NEXT: Connor returns to Los Angeles, meets Faith and Lindsey, then catches up with Cordy and Angelus.