Sesshou maru's World Conquest in a Day
Chapter 2 Milk Men on Strike
In a basement under one of those happy go lucky Walmarts, the milk man union met, discussing very important, top secret plans.
Lead Milk Man: It has finally come to this. We must take over this world and set the cows free! Only then can we romp in the land of overflowing dairy. For it has even been told in the Dairy Bible, 'Blessed are the cheesemakers, for they shall inherit the earth!'
Milk men: Yiss yiss!
Lead Milk Man: We shall strike tomorrow, and take no prisoners!
Too bad for them that Sesshou maru planned to conquer it today.
2:23am
Sesshou maru: I must find the milk man headquarters and destroy them all. Then nothing will stand in my way of world conquest. Let's see now... that there looks like a good source of information. *walks into adult bookstore* Hey you, man at the counter, tell me where the milk men are, otherwise I'll kill you, and... Good God! What the hell is that?! *grabs black marker off the counter and begins to fill in clothes on the porn star in a random poster*
Clerk: Hey dude, you're gonna have to pay for that!
Sesshou maru: On everything I see here, all of these women... and no clothes!!!! ARGH!!! *begins destroying every nude image he sees* TAKE THAT VILE FILTH!!!
Clerk: Dude, you gay or somethin?!
Sesshou maru: No, and you piss me off. *kills him* Well then, I do believe my work here is done.
Meanwhile...
Inuyasha: Damn it! Where could that hot, sexy, drool worthy brother of mine be? Ima kill him!
Kagome: Yes! We must... We must kill! KILL!!! HUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *starts killing random people*
Miroku: My only question is where we could find him. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. *oblivious of the preschool behind him with lil kiddies worshipping a large Sesshou maru statue*
Sango: I don't know... Wait! I've got it! *points* That quickie mart! I bet he's hiding there!
Shippo: Rip, tear kill DESTROY!!! SET IT ALL ON FIRE!!! BURN!! BBBUUUURRRNNN!!!!
Back to Sesshou maru
Sesshou maru: I'm still yet to locate the horrid base of the vile milk men. Once I do, though, I will kill all of the people who reside there, and claim myself ruler of this world of You Are CHEESE!!!! Now then, who should I question? *grabs paper boy* You! Tell me the whereabouts of the milk men!
Paper Boy: How should I know? I'm just a kid!
Sesshou maru: You're working for them, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?!
Paper Boy: I don't know! I swear!
Sesshou maru: Fine then. You are now officially my new slave. Head to the padoga boy! *sends him running* Speaking of which, I wonder how those rascals are doing...
At Padoga...
Lil Kid: Quickly! We must finish the new Magic Mountain before Lord Sesshou maru arrives!
Lil Girl: How can we?! All of my friends got crushed under the big blocks when building the pyramids!
Lil Kid: We must! Otherwise, Master won't give us candy!
Lil Boy: No please! Anything but that!
Statue worshipper 1: hmmmm bodi bodi bodi hmmmmm bodi bodi bodi *translation: Sesshou maru is a hotty Sesshou maru is a hotty*
Statue worshipper 2: I can't take this anymore!!! I wanna sleep with my teddy!! WAAAHHHH!!!!
Head kid: Release the dogs!
Ravenous dogs: *eat Statue worshipper 2*
Head kid: Let's have no tears, tell your hearts no need to cry, for then Master will shine down upon us and reward with munchies and crunchies!
Or so they think...
Sesshoumaru: Dang it! I've been walking around for the past twenty minutes and still can't find them!... Oh, hello... *watches milkman walk into the back of Walmart* Hwahahahahah, I've got you now... Wait for me oh precious dairy giver, for your milk lending days are to run out like the sand in the hour glass. *follows*
Inside the quickie mart...
Kagome: Hojo?! What're you doing here?!
Hojo: Kagome, I work here.
Sango: I see, so a man who is desperatley in love with you, but you don't give a shit about, works at this quickie mart.
Inuyasha: Hey you! I'd like two Mountain Dew slushies, an extra large bag of popcorn, and a Kondike bar.
Hojo: Excuse me but, err.. this is a Walmart.
Dramatic music (Da da DDDAAAAA!!!!)
Miroku: A what?
Hojo: A Walmart.
Da da DDDAAAAA!!!!
Inuyasha: Wait, one more time, I didn't catch it the first time through.
Hojo: A Walmart.
Da da DDDAAAAA!!!!
Hojo: Okay, that's getting really old
Kagome: Hey, what's that shouting coming from?
Hojo: Well you see, my babilicious beauty, there is a meeting going on downstairs. Something about world conquest.
Kagome: Hmmm... do you think Sesshoumaru is down there?
Hojo: Who?
Kagome: I wasn't talking to you. Inuyasha-
Inuyasha: Yah, I think I'll also get an extra large nachos, fudge sunday, chocolate milk shake, a slice of pizza, two jumbo hotdogs, and hamburger with the works.
Miroku: You sure you aren't pregnant or somethin?
Inuyasha: No, it just so happens that I have a very fast metabolism.
Kagome: I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY FOR ALL OF THAT!!!
Inuyasha: Well why the hell not?!
Hojo: You guys can have what you want for free. I hate this job and was planning to quit anyway.
Inuyasha: And once again, it has been proven that there is a god.
Sango: You guys can eat later. First, we must go downstairs and see if we can find Sesshoumaru.
Downstairs...
Lead Milkman: You have all now been equipped with your cheese armour and milk guns. Let us now say the sacred dairy chant in order to enhance our reflexes for the upcoming battle.
Sesshoumaru: *walks in* You must be the milk men. I will kill you all, and take my place as ruler of You are CHEESE!!!!.
Lead Milkman: Eegad! They're onto us. Okay men, take no prisoners! KILL!!!
Milkmen: Ay ay! *start shooting milk guns*
Sesshoumaru: EEEKKK!!! You got that crap into my luscious hair!!! *pissed* I'm going to eat you all! *begins attacking milkmen*
Kagome: *runs in* Were's all that screaming coming from... I didn't know Sesshoumaru ate people....
Inuyasha: Brother! IMA KILL YOU!!!
Sesshoumaru: *finishes eating remaining milkmen* Inuyasha. So you have followed me to this place. Fine then, I will kill you... what are those horrid stains on your shirt?
Inuyasha: Probably a mixture of fudge, hot cheese, and chile.
Sesshoumaru: Since when do they carry quickie mart stuff at a Walmart?
Da da DAAAAAA!!!
Inuyasha: I dunno.
Sesshoumaru: Well, as I was saying before, I will kill you, but first I think I'll help myself to a few munchies.
A few minutes later...
Sesshoumaru: Mmm... chile cheese nachos are so satifying.
Kagome: don't think I've ever seen a person eat a banana split so fast in my entire life.
Sango: .... He ate a few dozen milkmen in three minutes, and a banana split amazes you?
Kagome: Well yah, but think about the brain freeze!
Sango: Good point...
Inuyasha: Are you ready Sesshoumaru?!
Sesshoumaru: Quite... oh, wait, *gobbles a piece of pizza* Okay, now I'm ready. Prepare yourself!
3:02am
What would happen if mice made a parade? Why do dogs chase their tails? How come most anime dubs suck? What would it feel like if you filled your shoe full of peanut butter? none of the questions really matter, and have nothing to do with the next installment, but read it anyway!