Sesshoumaru's World Conquest in a Day
Chapter 3 Inuyasha's Weakness
Inuyasha: You don't stand a chance! I got me a big sword that kicks your sword's butt!
Sesshoumaru: So? You've had that sword for many episodes now, and yet you still have failed to destroy me.
Inuyasha: Shut up! Let's end this!
3:06am
Sesshoumaru: Brother, though I do hate you more than anything on this earth and despise the very ground you walk on, I had still hoped not to use this on you, but now it seems I have no choice.
Inuyasha: Save your stupid lecture and fight me!
Sesshoumaru: I was getting to that. Be patient, will you? *ahem* Behold! Inuyasha's weakness! *holds up a bar of soap*
Inuyasha: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!!!
Miroku: Soap... that's kinda pathetic.
Kagome: In this incident, I hope Sesshoumaru wins. I've been trying to get Inuyasha to take a bath for a whole long time now, and he still hasn't.
Sango: So that's why he smells so gross.
Sesshoumaru: Even when you were young, you never EVER took a bath! Your stupid mother loved you so much that she spoiled you rotten damn it! Oh how I loathed having to sit in that watery bath tub, watching you play in the mud. Now, that will all be changed for I WILL WASH YOU!!!
Inuyasha: No way! I haven't had a bath my whole life, and there's no way I'm starting now! *lunges at Sesshoumaru*
Sesshoumaru: *grabs Inuyasha* No, I think you will. *drags Inuyasha to random bath tub* Now then, I'll make sure that there are extra fluffy pink suds, just for you.
Inuyasha: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Sesshoumaru: *trying to push Inuyasha in* Come on now! In you go to get nice and squeaky clean!
Inuyasha: NEVER!!! I'LL NEVER TAKE A BATH!!! I WON'T, I WON'T!!! *gets plunged in*
Sesshoumaru: *scrubbing him up* Ah man that's gross! You're growing mold in your arm pits!
Inuyasha: Hey! That's a great back up food supply, I'll have you know!
Sesshoumaru: Welp, time to scrub it away!
Inuyasha: MIROKU, KAGOME, SANGO, SHIPPO HHHEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Miroku: *sitting in a theater chair eating popcorn* This is actually quite amusing.
Kagome: Gee, I haven't had gummy bears for a while. *about to eat strawberry gummy bear*
Gummy Bear: No, please!!! Don't eat me! Help me, somebody! AAAAHHHHH!!!! *gets eaten*
Down in the bag full of gummy bears...
Blue Gummy Bear: My friends, one of our gummy compadres has been sent to the depth of the firery tum tum. It is time that we took our revenge.
Green Gummy Bear: If we're originally German, why did you say a Spanish word?
Blue Bummy Bear: Cuz the author doesn't know German.
Green Gummy Bear: Ah.
Yellow Gummy Bear: Let's wait till the wench has gone to sleep and we'll stab her!
Orange Gummy Bear: With a BUTTER KNIFE!!!
All other Gummy Bears: *gasp*
Purple Gummy Bear: Such harsh ways of dealing with things! Is there no way we could do this more civilized?
Blue Gummy Bear: No, the orange and yellow ones are right. It is time that we take a stand. Once the murderer has fallen to tiredness, we attack!
Back to the bathing incident...
Inuyasha: My power... draining... weaker...
Sesshoumaru: Oh stop whining. Time for the footies! NASTY!!!
Kagome: That's what I first said.
Miroku: Ew, that's just gross. I think I'm gonna barf up my goodies... *looks at pizza in his lap* Then again.. *starts scarfin*
Shippo: KILL BURN DESTROY TEAR RIP DEMOLISH DESTRUCTION!!!!
Sango: I've never seen anything so hideous in my whole life!
Inuyasha: Will you stop staring at it!
Sesshoumaru: Inuyasha... you're growing mushrooms on the bottoms of your feet.
Inuyasha: It's another back up food source. At least I make things accomodating.
Sesshoumaru: Just knowing that you'd eat that disgusts me. *starts snipping them off*
Inuyasha: Stop it! You continue and then I'll be pretty like you!! STOP!!!!
Sesshoumaru: Sorry hon, but the world needs more bishounen.
Inuyasha: EEAGHH!!!
15 minutes later...
Inuyasha: Am I done yet?!
Sesshoumaru: No, now we've gotta do the shampoo and conditioner. Is it just me, or do you have little furry critters living in your hair?
Furry Critter: You bastard! You destroyed my home!
Sesshoumaru: This is getting more sickening by the moment. *sprays pesticide on furry critter*
Inuyasha: *sad* You're killing my friends...
Sesshoumaru: It's all in the best of intentions so shut up.
Inuyasha: The smell of the fruity soaps! Oh how they rip at my senses and tear my soul!
Miroku: I thought they smelled quite nice, actually.
Kagome: Like a field full of wild flowers!
Sango: With a hint of lemon.
Sesshoumaru: Okay, bath's done! Now time to dry! *brings out huge fan*
Inuyasha: AAaagh!
Sesshoumaru: All done! Now you look and smell sooo pretty!
Inuyasha: I don't feel good. Think I'm gonna barf up my guts.
Kagome: We'll retreat for now, but I warn you, we will come back for you Sesshoumaru!
Inuyasha is carried off by the other guys.
Sesshoumaru: I win? Does this mean that I am the new ruler?
Computer screen: Greetings, oh powerful demon man. I see you have defeated the milkman squad, but you are no match for my power.
Seshoumaru: Who are you?
Computer: This is a message from an all powerful being. I will reveal myself to you later, in order to build suspense during a couple more chapters.
Sesshoumaru: That sucks.
Computer: Farewell, Sesshoumaru, for only when you beat me will you be able to claim your title as the true ruler of the world! *turns off*
Sesshoumaru: That's so not fair. Fine then, I will just have to go on a mini quest to find and kill the voice behind the screeny thingy.
4:22am
Ya know, after talking with a few people I came up with the most brilliant and original idea. I'll start actually using this commentary part to write what will be happening in the next chapter! I know what you're thinking, I'm a total genius, but being the humble type of person I am, I will not force you all to worship my greatness, though if you still want to, I certainly don't mind. Afterall, even though I'm now being exaulted as the smartest person in the universe, I'll say that I'm not the perfect person, not getting them high grades of 2.0 averages so there is no need to feel inferior. I'm obviously not stupid, though, because I got a 71 IQ and a 71 is a C, which = a passing grade. Anywho, in the next chapter gummy bears shall strike on the evening mist with the vengeance of the peanutbutter and ham cups! So don't miss the next installment of Sesshoumaru's World Conquest in a Day, The Gummy Bear Vendeta.