State of Mind
"The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one other person."
-Vi Putnam
Part 6 - Understanding
A high pitched buzzing filled the air at the same time as it did every school morning. Snapped out of sleep by this horrid noise, Hikari jerked up while at the same time accurately slapping down a hand on the off button of the alarm clock. Fortunately she had always been the type that found it easy to get up in the mornings. Blinking away the last of the sleep, the fourteen year old brunette stretched and let out a relieved moan as she felt her muscles loosen. For another few minutes she just sat on her bed, trying to remember what day it was today. Monday... right. And that meant school.
Hikari groaned at the thought of that, but got out of bed without anymore delay. Quickly she dug through her closet until she found a nice purple and white T-shirt with a pair of jean shorts, ran a brush through her hair, then ran over to the telephone sitting on her desk. The first thing she needed to do before going anywhere was to find out what Yamato was planning to do with his brother. She dialed the number by heart and listened to the ringing on the other end. It rang... and rang... and just when she thought that nobody was home, she heard the click of someone picking up.
"Hello?" She finally asked when only silence greeted her, "Is that you, Yamato?"
"Uh... No, h-he's..." The voice trailed off, but Hikari immediately recognized it from the day before. That quiet, hesitant tone, so dejected that it almost hurt her to hear him speak.
She smiled as she pictured the confused look on his face, "Takeru! How are you? It's Hikari, 'you remember me? From yesterday?"
It took Takeru a few seconds to answer, but at least this time there was familiarity in his voice. "Yeah... I... I 'member. I'm okay."
"That's good to hear," Something was strangely off, and it took Hikari a moment to think of it. "Takeru, what are you doing answering the phone?" It was strange because she knew that they had practically no experience with these types of machines at all. She had been watching Taichi and Daisuke and had noticed that everytime the phone had rung they had jumped at the sound. They hadn't shown any sign of recognition when she had shown them what it was, and really wouldn't come near it anyway.
"Yamato-san, he... he told m-me to... Ken-san's not here, so..." He sounded scared now, as if he wasn't sure what he was doing.
"Oh, it's okay! I didn't mean that you shouldn't. Where is Yamato anyway?" She frowned, reminding herself that it was important to watch what she said to these boys. They took things the wrong way very easily.
"Um... in the shower. I... I don't know if..." Once again he stopped without finishing his sentence. Obviously he was still unsure of the whole telephone business himself. Oh well... at least it seemed he had made some progress.
"That's okay, just tell him to give me a call back when he gets out, alright? Tell him it's important." She reassured him.
"A-alright... I will."
"Thank you, Takeru. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" When she didn't hear any response, she shrugged and hung up. He had probably nodded anyway, forgetting that she couldn't see him.
Hikari left the room and walked down the hallway to the bedroom that Taichi and Daisuke were sharing. She supposed that she should at least ask them what they thought they wanted to do today while she was at school. Although they would probably only wait for her to tell them what to do. So far they didn't seem to have much knowledge of the concept of free-will. It was so sad to see the way they flinched away from everything, unused to the new freedom they had.
When she peeked into their room, the first thing she noticed was that once again the top bed of the bunk beds had gone unused. The two boys were lying on the bottom one, curled up together in a protective fashion, as if they were trying to seek comfort in the other. Just getting them to sleep there had taken a lot of encouragement as they were so certain that they didn't deserve anything softer than the floor.
With a small smile at the adorable sight, Hikari backed out once again, unable to wake them up when they looked so peacefully deep in sleep. She knew that neither one slept very well, especially Daisuke who had woken up every night so far from nightmares. His panicking screams seemed to tear the very insides out of her, making her wish that there was something she could do to get rid of the awful past they had had. Maybe with time he would heal. That was all she could hope for at the present.
Her mother was in the kitchen when she arrived, setting out some cereal and toast for breakfast before school. She looked up as Hikari sat down at the counter, giving her a bright smile, "Good morning, Hikari. Eat your breakfast quick, it's getting late." The older woman kept glancing toward the hallway with a worried expression.
Just as Hikari finished her last bite of toast, the telephone rang. "It's for me, Mum." She grabbed the phone before her mother could say anything and headed for the living room, "Moshi moshi. Yamato?"
"Yeah, me. So what's up?" The unmistakable low voice greeted her from the other end, sounding just as irritated over something or other as usual.
"That's what I wanted to ask you. What are you doing with Takeru today when you go to school?" She asked, sitting down on the couch. He couldn't just leave the young, confused boy alone as it was almost a sure thing that their father had work today. He rarely got a full day off, much to his distaste as it meant he couldn't spend more time with his children.
"I'm not going to school today. Ken will be coming back here after he's reassured his parents that his grades are still exceptionally high." He paused, and Hikari could hear the noise of pans and cutlery informing her that he was preparing breakfast. Even after all these years she was amazed at his skills in the kitchen. Just thinking of some of his dishes set her mouth watering. "Oh yeah... we wanted to know if we could take Taichi and Daisuke out for the day. I've just realized that Takeru has absolutely nothing of his own over here, except for some shitty scraps of clothing of which I've already taken the liberty of throwing in the trash."
To Hikari that sounded like a wonderful idea. As much as she wanted to, there was no way she could miss school today. Not with a huge science project to present and a test in math. This would solve the problem of Taichi and Daisuke staying home by themselves when they obviously weren't ready for that yet. "Just hold on a sec," She told him, getting up to poke her head back in the kitchen. "Mum? Yamato wanted to know if it'd be alright to take the boys shopping today. They're taking the day off from school."
"Oh, that's perfect. I was wondering what I'd do with them. My boss wouldn't allow me any more leave, and your dad won't get home until this afternoon. What a good idea." Yuuko consented, her expression showing her relief at this information.
Hikari ducked back in the room before relaying the answer to Yamato. "So that's great. Tell Ken to stop by here on his way back for them. And this afternoon, after school, bring them all here and we'll start thinking of a way to teach them what they need to know. Sound good?"
"Uh huh. Takeru's been dying to see his friends again. I'll give Ken a call to tell him what's happening. It'll be a good opportunity to show them the city anyway." He replied, perking up a little. Although his voice was still unnaturally unemotional.
"Good! Well, I better get going if I'm going to make school on time. Come by afterwards."
"Yeah, see you."
She hung up, feeling much better about actually having somewhere for her brothers to go now. When she went to check on them again before leaving, deciding that it would be best if they were up by the time Ken came to get them, she found the two boys already sitting up in bed. Two pairs of eyes settled on her together, widening in surprise at her unannounced entrance before flickering back down to the floor. "Good morning," Hikari greeted them cheerfully in spite of their silent ways.
"'morning Hikari," Taichi responded, hesitantly standing up while tugging the smaller boy with him. Already they were getting used to doing some things without being told to, and this did not escape her notice.
She decided it was time to wipe those glum looks from their faces, "Guess where you two are going today?" Hikari asked while tugging a couple of her dad's old t-shirts and pants out of the closet. This clothing was the best they had been able to do at the moment so she was very happy that they would be going shopping for something more their size and style today.
"Um... where...?" The brunette was the one to answer again. Daisuke was still staring around a bit groggily, not quite awake yet. The younger boy was leaning heavily against his older 'brother', blinking against the morning light, but still having the sense to avoid speaking or staring. No doubt he'd learned that at the whore house, she thought with disgust directed at the people who had done this to these poor boys.
Pushing the unsettling thoughts from her mind, Hikari brought the clothes over to them, handing them a set each. "Well, Ken and Yamato offered to take you and Takeru out in the city today." The sudden perks in their expressions were very obvious as the familiar names were mentioned. She had to smile again at this, wondering at the way these two had already seemed to attach themselves to certain people. She was sure that in no more than a month they would be completely at ease with her and her friends. "Well, I better get to school now. Get dressed and go out to the kitchen for breakfast, then Ken will be here to pick you up. Sound good?"
All she got in response was two slightly dazed stares, their expressions still showing their confusion at having any say in the situation. Knowing that it was quite useless at this point to try to explain any further about their freedom, Hikari just let out a small sigh and left the room. She hoped desperately that they would learn soon that it was alright to have their own opinion, that they were allowed to say what was on their mind and that others would listen without hurting them. Maybe they would loosen up a bit once introduced to real life in the city. Yamato and Ken better take pretty darn good care of her brothers today, or else...
=-=-=-=
The bedroom door slammed shut as Yamato stomped across the room and fell onto the sofa. The tall blonde was shaking and he clenched his hands in his lap to try to stop it, but the anger and guilt that raged inside of him made it impossible to stay still. To say that he was having a bad morning would be a horrible understatement.
It had all started with the phone call that had woken the three boys up that morning. Yamato had stupidly answered it and for the next twenty minutes he had had to listen to Ken's mother throw a screaming fit about the way he had been 'a terrible influence on her poor son, causing his grades to drop and leading him into the rebel life of drugs, girls and parties.' That accusation alone had been enough to blind him with rage, but he had somehow managed to hold it back, if only for the sake of his brother and best friend. When she had finally hung up on him, with a threat about what she'd do if he didn't allow Ken to go home this very minute, he had calmly turned around and told Ken to do as he was told. The bluenette must have seen Yamato's real emotions in his face and had immediately headed out the door with a promise to come back as soon as possible.
After that it had only gotten worse. Takeru, who was very sensitive to the emotions of those around him through long experience, had sensed the anger in his older brother. It hurt... it hurt so fucking bad to see the young boy cringe away from his every movement. Afraid of being hurt, Takeru had gone straight back to his past behavior, naming Yamato 'Master' once again. That had been the last straw. After burning breakfast, something he hadn't done in years, the enraged teenager left the younger blonde at the table and took refuge in his room.
Fuck... what the hell was wrong with him?! He couldn't stop shaking, couldn't stop the helpless feeling taking over his mind. It was that feeling that got to him more than anything else. He hated knowing that he could do nothing, he needed to be in control of the situation. But... but he couldn't do anything for Takeru... his otoutochan...
Suddenly he realized he his fingers were grasping at his pockets, unconsciously searching for the escape that wasn't there. "'Kuso!" He cursed softly, jerking back his hands as if they had been burned. A wave of despair crept through him as he stared absently around the room. What was he going to do? He didn't want to hurt Takeru even more, but he was so afraid... no, he was terrified that somehow his little brother would disappear again.
"Yama...?" His head jerked up out of his hands as the slight figure of his best friend entered the room. Shit, when did he get here? "What's going on?"
Yamato winced at the heavy concern in the other's eyes, knowing that Ken was going to start pestering him until he found out what was wrong. Struggling to push away the anguish inside of him, he looked away, "I don't know what you're talking about." His hand twitched, aching to find something to help take away the pain.
"You do." Ken stated, slowly walking over to him until he was standing directly in front of the blonde. "Takeru's scared out of his mind out there, you know. He won't even speak to Taichi or Daisuke."
"I..." He had done it again, hurt his brother without meaning to. "Go away," He muttered, turning further to the side, feeling the familiar empty ache settle in his stomach. "You take them."
There was a moment of silence as Ken's gaze bore into him. "Why?" He finally asked, his voice neutrally low. "You were the one who suggested it in the first place, why the sudden change?"
With a blink, Yamato looked up at his friend and met the glare eye for eye, "Because." was all he said, standing up so as not to have to look up.
Suddenly Ken seemed to snap, "You baka! So you're just planning to hide out here in your room, feeling sorry for yourself?! You're going to let some past mistake scare you out of fixing things around here?" How had he known? Yamato stared at him with wide eyes, feeling the shock and denial rise.
"I am not hiding!" He muttered without conviction, his legs giving way beneath him so that he was forced to sit back down. His mind was just a mess of conflicting emotions.
Ken snorted, "You don't fool me for a second, Yamato Ishida. I've known you much too long now." When the blonde said nothing in return, he sighed and sat down on the sofa as well. There was silence for a while as both were unwilling to be the first to speak. No sound came from the rest of the apartment either, making it seem as if they were the only two there. After a few minutes of this, Ken finally spoke in a quiet voice, not looking at the other, "Think of them, Yama, if not of yourself. They need to get out and I don't think I can take all three myself. I... I'm just as afraid as you are... that we might make some mistake, but... we need to at least try."
The quiet words took a moment to settle into the older teenager as he thought them over. Then he turned his head slightly, "Ken, do you think... do they have a chance? Will they ever be able to forget?"
Thoughtful violet eyes gazed back into his own, filled with a type of solid belief. "They won't ever forget," he replied softly, "But if we do our best to help them through this, they might be able to at least put it all behind them."
After another moment, Yamato nodded with satisfaction. He stood up and looked down at his friend, "Alright, I'll try then. For the three of them."
Ken also rose to his feet, smiling slightly at the taller boy, "That's the Yamato I know and love. I guess we should go ease them of their anxiety now, huh?"
"Yeah, I did leave Takeru out there pretty abruptly." Yamato smiled back, a bit sheepishly. His own anxiety had seemed to disappear altogether. He didn't know how, but Ken had always been able to do that to him. To anyone, as a matter of fact. He shook his head in slight amusement over Ken's knack of calming down even the most violent person. Incredible.
The scene that met the two boys as they once again entered the living room was almost not surprising but still quite shocking to their inexperienced minds. The young blonde was on his knees in the center of the room, his head bowed while the long golden bangs covered most of his face. He was trembling, obviously anticipating some sort of punishment for something that wasn't his fault. The other two, his friends, were standing off to the side. Their eyes were focussed on the floor, doing nothing to help.
Yamato took all this in with one painful sweeping glance, knowing that the silence was because of him. He had let himself lose control and therefore he was the one to blame for causing his brother to feel fear. How was it that somehow he always managed to hurt someone close to him? "Gomen nasai..." He finally whispered, not knowing what else to say.
Those two simple words of apology somehow spread massive confusion through the three young teens. Taichi and Daisuke seemed to choke slightly, turning identical wide eyes upon a startled Yamato. Takeru raised his own cerulean eyes toward him as well, looking lost and afraid. Yamato suddenly felt the urgent need to escape from the weight of all their staring eyes, hating to suddenly be the center of attention in such a way. The only thing that kept him there was the comforting, yet firm hand against his back, preventing him from moving. "Takeru?"
The boy quivered for a second, bowing his head once more, "Ya-Yamato-san?"
"I... I didn't mean to get mad... it wasn't anything to do with you. Could you... forgive me?" Yamato asked slowly, not used to saying those words. He had never been good at this sort of thing. All he wanted to do was get this over with and have Takeru start to trust him again.
For the second time the startled blue eyes peered up at him, hardly able to understand the question. It was obvious that the young boy had been thinking that he should be the one apologizing here. "I...I..." Takeru glanced around wildly, seeking out his friends for guidance while Yamato silently hoped that he would just say something. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Taichi shrug uncertainly at Takeru's questioning stare.
"Please?" Yamato tried again, slowly walking over to kneel in front of his brother. For some reason he craved the forgiving words, wanted to know that everything was alright between them again. "I'm not like a... a Master. I want to... to be your friend like Taichi and Daisuke. That's all."
"Really?" Takeru gasped, staring for all he was worth. The thought of being friends with this awe inspiring older teen had never crossed his mind.
"Well... Yeah. We're brothers." That was something that Yamato wasn't sure that Takeru knew, and judging by the other's expression he was right. From beside them came a startled squeak and Yamato looked over to find the brunette and red head gaping at him. "What?"
Taking that as a sign that they could now talk, Taichi stammered, "You... You're b-brothers? R-really?"
"Like me an' Taichi?" Daisuke added in disbelief, hugging his companion's arm as if in demonstration.
Yamato blinked, taken aback by the surprise that his statement had caused. "Uh... yeah... like you two, I suppose, 'though by blood. Didn't I already mention that to you Taichi?"
"I... That's right but... I thought you meant..." The brunette trailed off, looking away again as his cheeks burned red. Yamato didn't think he even wanted to know what the other had thought.
"We... we are?" Takeru hesitantly asked, finally finding his voice again. "You're my... my oniisan?"
With a smile, Yamato nodded. He felt elated at the spark of interest in those blue eyes, and the disappearing fear. "Yes, I am. You didn't know?"
Takeru shook his head, looking dazed, "N-no... I've never had a... a b-brother before..." There was also an almost desperate hope contained in his expression, hope that this was all true.
"So... do you forgive me?" He asked again, wondering at the new warm feeling rising up inside of him. Maybe things could work out after all. Maybe
Takeru proceeded to stare at him for a few more minutes, his gaze searching his older brother's face to make sure that this was definitely the real thing and not a dream nor a lie. Finally he leaned back a bit, blinking shyly with his lips threatening to curve into the start of a smile. "I... I do... I forgive you, Oniisan."
=-=-=-=
The day was already hot when the small group left for the mall. Crowds of people filled up the sidewalks while cars barely moved on the roads, heat waves were visible above anything that got caught under the sun. Taichi hardly noticed the heat, however, too absorbed with trying to catch up with everything that had changed. His wide eyes roamed restlessly over the scenery, taking in every detail with wonder. Everything amazed him, from the extensive variety of people crammed into one little area to the way a small child was screaming in defiance at an older woman in front of one of the shops. He remembered little of the city having spent the majority of his life isolated from all of it, and what bit he might have been able to recall was always pushed fearfully to the back of his mind as memories of the Masters prevailed.
It was all so overwhelming - the noise, the heat, the people... Gulping back the nauseous feeling rising up his throat, Taichi determinedly set his gaze in front of him where he didn't have to see so much of what was going on around him. He truly hated this. Back at the old place, before they had been taken away to this new part of the world, they had never encountered anything close to what he was seeing today. He dearly missed the cool, quiet consistency of what had been a home to him for as a long as he could remember. This... this was just terrifying, to say the least.
Suddenly he realized that he was being spoken to. Taichi turned his head to look at the two boys beside him. Daisuke was walking between him and Ken, gazing with just as much disbelief and nervousness at the city blocks as Taichi had been. Ken was staring over at Taichi with a concerned but welcoming look, "Are you alright, Taichi? You look a little pale."
"Yeah... I'm alright." Taichi blinked some sweat out of his eyes, wishing for a cloud to hurry up and cover the sun. "'just not used to all of this..."
Yamato, who was walking with Takeru just ahead of the three of them, glanced back over his shoulder, "If you think this is crazy, wait until you get into the mall. All of the parents will be there while their kids are at school today."
The thought of even more people than this was enough to send a shot of panic through Taichi. He saw both Daisuke's and Takeru's shoulders stiffen to the statement as well. "What... what's a mall?" The red head nervously asked as his grip on Taichi's hand tightened. It was difficult to even imagine how much there was to learn in this strange new life.
Ken only smiled calmly, shrugging a little, "It is where we buy clothes and other things we want. We're going to buy you some new clothing, and maybe you'll also see other things that you like."
"Oh..." Taichi wanted to ask how they were going to buy those things, but decided to keep his mouth shut. Didn't they have to work to earn money? And even then it was the adults who kept all of the earnings. It was the way it had always worked. But then again, everything seemed to work differently now.
They walked the rest of the way to the mall mostly in silence except for the occasional explanation on certain sights by either Ken or Yamato. Taichi spent the walk just contemplating the strange twist of events. He watched the two ahead of him, thinking how amazing it was that Takeru actually had a brother. None of them would have ever guessed that there was so much going on outside of their own little world. It was incredible, it really was.
Taichi wished he understood more about what was happening to him and his friends, maybe it would make this all a bit more bearable. As it was, he was having a hard time just keeping himself from falling apart in front of everybody. If only he knew why...
"... an' what's that?" Daisuke was curiously pointing out objects and people to his new blue haired friend for explanations.
Ken cheerfully answered his questions, looking as if he was enjoying the role of a tour guide. "That is a city bus. People get on and ride it to where they want to go for a small fee. We'll take it on the way back, okay?"
"Did you hear that 'Chi?" Taichi looked down at his younger friend, almost smiling at the look of wonderment on the expressive features. "They're going to let us ride the... the bus!"
"Yeah, that's great Dais." Well he for one was not going near that huge metal monster. He didn't know what Ken meant about riding it exactly, but he wasn't risking his life on something he had never seen before. And he wasn't letting Daisuke or Takeru risk their lives either. Not now, not ever.
Ken was now looking over at Taichi, his brilliant violet eyes studying him very intently. Taichi looked down uncomfortably, wishing that these people would stop staring so much. It wasn't right or proper. "'Dais'?"
"It's... it's just a nickname..." The brunette mumbled, still watching the pavement at his feet without caring about whether or not he ran into something. "Dais, Dais-chan, Suke-chan, all his nicknames. But..."
"Suke-chan? I like that one." Ken cut in, smiling brightly. But before he could say anything else Daisuke jerked away, a frightened look on his face. Taichi was forced to stop as the redhead cringed against him, shaking his head.
"No!" Daisuke frantically buried his face in his older friends shirt, "No, no, no..."
The blondes in front stopped as well, turning to watch as Taichi turned and gathered the shaking red head in his arms. Ken watched as well with a confused and worried expression, "What's the matter? Did I say something wrong?"
Taichi glanced up from comforting the younger boy, "You can't call him by anything but Daisuke. Only... only our close friends can use our shortened names." He saw the hurt look in Ken's eyes, but felt nothing but anger at this kid, who was practically a stranger to them, acting so familiar. The anger was only barely contained as Taichi reminded himself that he couldn't do anything against these people, and so turned his eyes back to the boy in his arms.
"Why?" It was Yamato who asked the question this time, watching the scene with unexpressive eyes. Taichi shuddered as he felt those eyes pierce through him.
"B-because... we don't know y-you so it means that you want... want to... fuck us." Taichi trembled as he said that, hoping very badly that that's not what they really wanted. The only people who had ever used nicknames for them were their friends or their customers. These two weren't known to them enough to be called friends, so...
"Chikuso..." Yamato cursed softly as Ken only stared in open shock. "This is... this is just unbelievable!"
Taichi only nodded, wishing he had not mentioned anything as he felt their incredulous stares. Takeru had, by now, edged over to him and so Taichi wrapped an arm around him as well in comfort. All three of them remained silent now, waiting for the word that the could keep going to the mall again.
"You do know that that's not what we mean, right?" Ken asked while watching the three protect themselves in the only way they knew how. Taichi nodded again, thinking it best not to say anything else to make this worse than it already was.
People were swarming around the boys now, shoving by and grumbling at them to stop blocking the path. Because of this, the two leaders refrained from saying anything else and only motioned them to get moving again. The group remained in somber silence as they headed for the mall. Taichi sighed, hugging a boy to either side of him and feeling their frightened confusion mix with his own. The heat once again beat down upon his head, and a headache started to form while he tried to keep himself and the other two from falling behind Ken and Yamato. He hadn't mean to offend anyone with his answers, only to tell the truth. He was such a screw up.
Five minutes later they arrived at the mall. When they entered the building, Taichi was amazed at the size of it and at how many people there were wandering around. This was a mall? Daisuke and Takeru both pulled away as they stared as well, their eyes wide with fascination. "Wow!" Daisuke gasped, his mouth slightly open, "It's huge!"
"Yup." Ken grinned at their astonishment over something he must have been to a million times before. "It's big. It also has everything you'd ever want in it."
"Really?" Takeru asked with awe as he took another step away from Taichi in his amazement. "Wow, isn't this great, Taichi?"
"Uh... Yeah..." It was great, but Taichi was too busy fighting his nausea to take any real pleasure from being in something so new. At least it was cooler in here, and less humid. Damn it, he felt exhausted! What was the matter with him?
He watched through bleary eyes as the others started further into the mall, but really couldn't get up the energy to follow them. Daisuke was the first to notice, "Hey Taichi! Come on!" The boy shouted from ahead.
Taichi only dropped his eyes to the floor, taking a deep breath to clear his head. He was worried that he'd collapse if he tried to walk. From where he was he could hear Yamato telling the others something but it was too low to make out the words. Then he felt the blonde's presence at his side. "There's nothing to be afraid of here, if that's what's stopping you."
Taken aback by the cold tone, Taichi closed his eyes and shook his head. "No... I... I don't feel so good..." His throat was dry and his entire body just felt drained. He wondered where the others had gone. Had they just decided to leave him? Daisuke and Takeru wouldn't abandon him, would they? With this terrible thought, Taichi frantically looked up to try and find them. He was relieved to see them not too far away, waiting for him to come to them. The quick movement, however, had caused his head to spin and he lost his balance slightly.
Yamato kept him from falling, grabbing his arm to keep him up. "Why didn't you just say so!?" He growled, and Taichi flinched away from the tight grip. "'kuso... What's the matter then?"
"I... I just..." Taichi gulped, feeling terrible for causing more trouble. He shouldn't be worrying them, he wasn't worth any of their attention. The last time he had been sick the Masters had been so angry with him that they locked him up in his cold room all day and only fed him hot broth until he was better. It wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat. "I'm fine, really I am. I didn't mean it, I-"
"Stop it!" Yamato shouted, and Taichi shut his mouth with horror at how he had been babbling. The blonde glared at him fiercely, "You're not fine and I don't want you to pretend to be, got it?" Taichi nodded meekly, keeping his gaze blankly on the floor as Yamato sighed and tugged him towards the other three. When they got to them Yamato said, "Why don't you take Takeru and Daisuke to one of the stores, Ken? Taichi's not feeling too well, probably from the heat, so I'm just taking him to sit down on that bench over there. Meet us back there in a bit."
Ken agreed, "Okay. Here, get him a bottle of water, it'll make him feel better." The bluenette handed some change to Yamato and told the other two to follow. Taichi could feel the younger ones' anxious eyes on him, pleading silently with him not to separate from them, but he couldn't do anything to stop it. At least they had each other for company; all he had was himself and an angry, threatening stranger.
Yamato sat Taichi down on a bench in front of some small decorative plants. He left for only a second to buy some water before joining the apprehensive brunette. Taichi looked up in surprise as the entire bottle was handed to him by a pale hand, and found Yamato staring at him with impassive eyes. Nervously taking the bottle, Taichi quickly looked away again. The water cooled his throat and the nausea receded almost instantly, causing him to sigh with relief. After that he didn't know what to do and so silently kept his eyes on his lap.
A few minutes went by as he rested before Yamato spoke quietly, "Are you feeling better now?" He was surprised by the small amount of concern he could hear in the other's voice.
Taichi nodded, careful to add a verbal, "Yes Yamato-san." He wasn't sure if Yamato still wanted him to call him by only his first name anymore. The blonde hadn't seemed very friendly all day and so he decided it was best to just be careful about what he said. "Thank you, Yamato-san."
A small sigh, "So we're back to this then, are we?" Taichi wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer, but Yamato went on anyway, "Do you just want to sit here for a bit? Daisuke and Takeru will be fine with Ken for a while."
Sitting did sound very nice. He still felt a bit sick from the heat, and wanted only to relax for the time being. "Please, Yamato-san."
Yamato groaned slightly, "Only if you promise to stop being so damn polite, okay?"
"O-okay..." He quickly replied, relieved that the other didn't sound so angry with him anymore.
With another sigh, Yamato leaned back in the bench and didn't say anything else. Taichi remained staring at the small plant in front of him. He absently wondered what a plant was doing growing in a building, but mostly tried to keep his mind blank. The thought of being so far from everything he knew constantly fought to gain recognition. It was so hard...
"It's so hard..." Taichi blinked at the sudden echo of his thoughts and turned slightly to see Yamato leaning back and staring at the ceiling. "It's so damn hard to see you guys like this. I know that I'll never understand, but it's just as hard for me to see you like this as it is for you."
Tears threatened to break out as Taichi watched the lovely blonde gaze upwards with such a thoughtful and regretful expression. No, they would never understand. Taken away from his home and friends, trying to keep from making mistakes in this new life, hoping that somehow he would just be able to understand how this new, strange world worked. It so fucking impossible! And the worst thing was that he had no one to help him through this. He comforted Takeru and Daisuke as much as he could, but there was no one to ease his own fears. This whole place was terrifying him so much but he had no way of knowing how to deal with the sudden change.
A wave of panic crashed into him. He needed to get home! Not the unfamiliar building that these strangers had stuck him in, but the home that he grew up with. He needed the consistency that it provided, the rules that were all laid out so carefully for him. Yamato yelled out as he stumbled to his feet and ran. No, he had to go home... home... Kami-sama, he couldn't take this anymore! Tears blurred his vision as he ran, not even realizing that he was headed in the opposite direction from the doors that they had come in. Terror sped him as he dodged around a corner. He couldn't hear the the yells anymore over the pounding of blood in his ears. His dirty shoes pounded madly over the tiled floor and long brown bangs swept across his vision. It was only when he tripped over his shoelace that he came crashing down the to floor, bruising his knees and bringing the spinning world around him to a halt.
"Oh fucking, bloody hell! Taichi!" He lay there, curled up in a tight ball, gasping for air like a dying fish as Yamato sped to a crashing stop beside him. "Why'd you run!? Kami, why? What the fuck is you problem!?" The blonde sounded almost hysterical, shaking as he too fought for breath.
The tears finally overflowed, pouring down tanned cheeks as Taichi sobbed into the floor. He was so stupid, so foolish, so... so... Why did everything always turn against him? What had he done to deserve this!? So alone...
Yamato seemed to finally catch his breath, falling to his knees beside Taichi, "Oh, don't cry, please don't cry. I... What do you want me to do?"
"Go away... go away...goawaygoawaygoaway..." The pressure that had been building up inside of Taichi for the past week finally caused him to snap, confused anguish overwhelming his mind. "GO AWAY!" He screamed, clutching his head between his hands.
A small crowd started to form around the two teenagers, but neither one of them noticed. Yamato was staring in shock, his mouth open and eyes wide. Obviously he hadn't been expecting this. For a moment they were both still, except for the occasional mutter of 'go away' from Taichi. Then Yamato hesitantly reached over and lay a hand on Taichi's shoulder, "Taichi, calm down. It's... It's not that bad. You just don't understand..." And that was the entire problem from the very beginning. He didn't understand. He wanted to, but he couldn't. "But... but I'll help you, if you want me too."
That was so unexpected that Taichi lifted his head and blinked with confusion, tears forgotten. Then he saw the amount of helpless fear, worry and guilt in the deep blue eyes staring back at him. "H-help?" He shivered, blinking away tears, but was too afraid to move.
"Yes, help." Yamato replied, relief evident at this sane response. "I'll help you as much as I can. I... I know I seem kind of cold and... and horrible but I'm still dealing with the thought of you three and all of those other kids being put in this position in the first place. It's difficult for me, you must understand that, but I do want you to make this place your home again."
Feeling considerably more reasonable now, Taichi sat up slowly. He gazed hopefully at the pale face across from him, finding comfort in the hand that was still resting on his arm. Maybe he wasn't so alone... Without a word he crumbled against Yamato's chest, hugging him desperately. Yamato's arms hesitantly went around his back, relaxing slightly while allowing Taichi to rest his forehead against his shoulder. "It's okay... We'll help you, Taichi. Just give us chance, okay?"
Taichi relaxed as well, allowing the warmth from the other teen to seep into him. He tightened his grip, feeling almost at ease for the first time in so long. "'k, Yamato." After a sniff and a sigh, he allowed Yamato to help him up on to his feet. There they stood, staring at each other. Taichi didn't even notice that he was staring directly into the other's eyes without feeling even slightly uncomfortable about it.
For a moment Yamato smiled sincerely at him, whispering softly as the crowd finally faded away. "Just hang in there, Taichi. I know you can do it. Hold on for Daisuke, Takeru and all the rest of us." Taichi nodded uncertainly, unable to look away until Yamato turned them back to where they had come from. They strolled silently down the mall, Yamato's arm resting comfortably around Taichi's shoulder while the brunette marveled over the kindness that Yamato was showing him so unexpectantly. He sighed contentedly and laid his head gently on the slightly taller boy's shoulder. Yamato only tensed for a moment before relaxing again and hugging Taichi a bit closer. Taichi gratefully closed his eyes and let Yamato guide him back to the others.
'Maybe I'm not so alone after all.'
=-=-=-=
(A/N) Dun, dun, dun! To be continued! Yup, Yamachi for sure by the
looks of that last part, oh well, as long as Taichi and Yamato end up together
who cares about anything else!? I'll try to get the next part up sooner,
but I'm not making any promises now with so much between school, job searching,
and getting ready for Uni. Any ideas and comments will be greatly
appreciated! Ja! ^_^