State Of Mind
"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."
-Allan K. Chalmers
Part 7: So Close, And Yet So Far
It had been quite an amusing day full of surprises but with very few mishaps. Ken's first real shock of the day had been when the two older boys had returned to them in the mall. It was a shock because he had never seen Yamato seem to care about anything much at all, but here he was holding Taichi with a protective arm as they slowly made their way through the crowds. The blonde hadn't strayed more than a few inches from the bushy haired brunette the entire trip and Ken had caught the worried, guilty glances from those normally expressionless blue eyes. Something had happened while they had been separated for those few moments in the morning, but Ken was planning to dig the information out of his best friend later when they were alone. Taichi, on the other hand, had seemed to relax considerably in the musician's silent company. Even Daisuke and Takeru had appeared to notice the difference.
The trip to the mall had been very productive and a welcoming adventure to the three awed boys who had never seen the like of it before. That had been the amusing part, watching them gawk at all of the objects being sold while trying not to seem as if they were staring. At first they had stayed in a tight group, none of the three willing to separate from one another. But as the day wore on they had eventually relaxed enough to join in with the shopping. Neither Takeru, Daisuke or Taichi dared to ask for anything, but it had been easy to tell by their longing looks what they wanted most. And by the end of the trip, the group of five had exited the mall victorious, each of them carrying as many bags as possible until they could barely walk. It was a good thing that Hikari's mother had told them to spend whatever they needed on her credit card.
At the moment they were walking home, despite Yamato's annoyed grumbles from behind. It was an awkward walk with all the bags, but Taichi, Takeru and Daisuke had all been too stressed with even the thought of taking a bus home that they had had no choice but to just take the alternative. All three had almost been brought to tears when the bus had pulled up at the stop they had been waiting at, and Taichi had actually started pleading with Yamato not to make them go on. After a few minutes of mass confusion, and more than one threat from the eldest blonde, they had finally pulled out the reason from Taichi. "It'll take us a-away again! P-please... I-I don't want to... to go to more st-strangers!" Even Yamato had backed down after that.
"Damn it! My feet are killing me!" Ken turned looked over his shoulder at Yamato's quiet complaints and almost fell over from surprise by what he saw. The blonde had now three times as many bags in his arms. On either side of him was Taichi and Takeru, wearily dragging their feet and slightly leaning against the one carrying their things with sleepy eyes. "Stop looking at me like that, Ken."
Ken turned around again with a hidden smile, a tremendously happy feeling growing inside of him at the thought that Yamato might actually be feeling better. He had been worried the past few days that his friend's guilt over something he had no control over might be getting to be too much for him to handle.
Daisuke was walking up front with Ken as well, peeking curiously into one of the bags in his arms. Warm, cinnamon colored eyes blinked up at Ken when they caught him watching, "Are these really for... for me?" He looked as if he was having trouble convincing himself that this was not just a dream.
With a wide, unconcealed smile, Ken nodded, "Yup, all of that. Do you want me to carry it for you for a bit," He asked, as the younger boy stumbled slightly over a crack in the sidewalk. Out of all of them, Daisuke actually looked the most alert, his eyes still darting around at everything that was to be seen.
The red head reluctantly frowned a little, hugging the bags of clothes and toys closer to his chest as he shyly shook his head. "I... I don't mind carrying them. If that's okay..."
"Of course!" Ken said with amazement, wondering at the boy's stamina after an entire day of walking around. He'd have to ask Taichi about that as well. "We're almost home anyway."
"I thought we'd never make it. Remind me never to go shopping with you again."
"Yamato, stop acting like a two year old." Ken admonished his friend with stern look behind him. The blonde only snorted and glared up ahead as Taichi looked up at him with an uneasy expression.
"Hey Ken! Yamato!" Startled by the shouts, they all looked up to see a boy with red hair running towards them from across the street. The boy, a year older than Ken, stopped when he reached them.
Ken grinned, "Hey Koushiro, what's up?" Izumi Koushiro was another of his very good friends, especially as he was another smart genius so it was easy to hold intelligent conversations with him. Koushiro was a part of the tight circle of friends that Yamato, Ken and Hikari were part of, his easy going nature and considerate behavior making him likable to anyone at once.
"I was heading home from school," was the reply with an indication to the green uniform that all the high school students were forced to wear, "when I spotted a couple of truants." He raised a red eyebrow questioningly at the shopping bags that they were carrying.
"Truants, huh?" Yamato readjusted his load and stepped forward, "And this coming from the guy who skipped a day last week just to go to some silly technology convention."
Koushiro laughed, "Okay, you have a point there. So what's going on? Somehow I don't see you two as the type to skip school for a shopping spree." Another questioning look, this time as he noticed the other three boys with him. "And who are your new friends?"
The three in question had come together once again a few steps back, nervously watching the cement at their feet. Ken sighed, "Koushiro, meet Yamato's younger brother, Takeru. And these two are Hikari's brothers, Taichi and Daisuke."
That seemed to shock the red head right out of words as he stared dumbfounded at them with his mouth slightly open. His almost completely black eyes glanced at the three submissive boys, then back at Ken and Yamato. Finally he took a breath, "You're kidding right? Hikari does not have any brothers. And yours, Yamato, he..."
"I know." Yamato snapped quickly, "But he's back. They found them and we're all still trying to deal with it."
"It's too long of a story for right now, Koushiro, we'll explain when we all get together this weekend, okay?" Ken told him with a weary look. All he wanted to do right now was get to the Yagami residence and drop every bag that he held.
With another curious look at the boys, Koushiro nodded in understanding. "Okay then, but make sure I'm around when you tell it. So you are still coming on Saturday then?" The poor boy still looked dazed from the news, but he had always been the patient type and so could wait until later to hear more.
"Of course," Yamato replied, "Have we ever missed the get togethers yet?"
"Actually, yes." Koushiro shot back calmly, "We all know that your band takes up a lot of your time and-"
"Shimatta! My band! Fuck, I had completely forgot about the practice we were supposed to have yesterday night. They're going to be pissed." The blonde cut him off, stalking towards the apartment again with anger. Taichi and Takeru both glanced up, silently debating whether or not to take the chance and follow.
"Uh... right. Anyway Ken, I was wondering if you could pick Jyou and I up at our place on saturday. His car broke down a couple of days ago." Koushiro went on as if nothing had just happened, shifting his school bag to the other shoulder without a second glance at Yamato. They were all used to his moods by now and this was nothing compared to some days.
Ken nodded without hesitation, "No problem. We'll be taking the band's van anyway, so there should be plenty of room. I'm not surprised that his car finally stopped running though, it always looks as if it is about to just fall right apart."
"Yeah, I'm trying to convince him to just get a new one but he's so attached to the old heap that so far I've gotten nowhere. Well, I have to get home now. Jyou has to go to this seminar tonight and he wants me to come with him." He rolled his eyes at the thought and Ken laughed at his expression.
"Okay, we'll talk to you later then." The two friends waved and separated, Ken beckoning his three remaining companions to start walking again. They did, looking relieved that they were going home again.
Daisuke took his place at Ken's side again, but this time dragging Taichi and Takeru to the other side of him as well. The bluenette watched as Taichi stared at Yamato's figure up ahead, the most longing and miserable expression on him that Ken had ever seen. No... that couldn't be right, could it? Could Taichi actually be having feelings for Yamato? They hardly knew each other, and after all that Taichi had been through for the last so many years it was very unlikely that he could be attracted to anybody at the moment. Of course, Yamato had been helping the boy quite a lot lately, so there could be some longing for a friend or companion at least, although that may grow into more later on. Ken shook his head at the thoughts, bemused over this new twist of things that he hadn't seen coming.
"...Ken-san?" The hesitant, soft voice caused him to shake away the lingering speculations and turn to the red head beside him. Actually, he thought the boy's hair wasn't quite red. It was darker, like maroon maybe, or burgundy. There was no real definition to the color of Daisuke's hair and that almost bothered Ken. "Who... who was that?"
"Koushiro? Oh, he's a good friend of ours. He is very nice, so there's nothing to worry about from him." Ken answered, tearing his eyes away from the intriguing strands of ever changing hair at his shoulder. Stupid hair.
"Oh... I like him." Daisuke said quietly, leaning his head against his brother's shoulder. Taichi didn't even flinch, he only brought an arm around Daisuke's back in acknowledgment.
Surprised, Ken looked over at him and watched the naturally bronzed face look up ahead thoughtfully. "Why?"
Daisuke shrugged a little, closing his eyes slightly as if the tiring day had finally caught up with him. "Because, well..." His mouth opened as a yawn escaped. From the other side, Takeru yawned as well and also snuggled into Taichi's side as they walked. Ken knew that the minute they sat down they'd all fall asleep in an instant. "He wouldn't hurt us, I don't think."
"What?" Ken blinked at this small reason, "How would you know?" Not that Koushiro would, of course. The computer genius wouldn't hurt a fly if he could help it.
Taichi finally spoke, looking over at Ken from the corner of his eye, "Can't you just tell? It's just something we all can feel..." Then he sighed and turned his eyes back to the ground.
"Oh." Ken intelligently responded. It was possible that they would be able to sense whether or not someone had evil intentions towards them after all these years, but it still didn't make much sense when considering how they had acted towards himself, Yamato and everybody else who had wanted to help them in the first place. Maybe their instinctive knowledge only worked when they were calm, or... Sadly, Ken's silent speculation of the strange matter came to a halt when they arrived at the apartment.
By the time that Ken had followed the others through the door, taken off his shoes and made his way into the living room, Taichi, Takeru and Daisuke were fast asleep on one couch while Yamato was quietly arguing on the phone in another corner of the room.
=-=-=-=
***
"Mommy! I-I-I w-want my Mommy!"
"Shut the fuck up, kid, you're not see'n your Mommy ever again so get over it."
"NO!" The tiny boy screamed in defiance, hate coursing through him. He had never felt hate for anybody before, but he knew that this man deserved it. The dark haired man was pulling him through a strange, almost empty building, swearing out loud every few seconds as the boy tried to fight the hold. His little arm hurt so much from the tight grip the man had on him. "MOMMY!!"
"I said shut your trap, you brat! You better learn to do as you're told pretty damn quick or - OW! Fucking bitch! You bit me!" Suddenly the boy was sent sprawling to the ground by a large fist, his trembling lip split and a tiny stream of blood dripped down his chin. He had never been hit before! Trying to keep from crying, the red headed little boy took this bit of freedom and scrambled away. The scary man cursed again and ran after him. It was only a matter of seconds before he was caught again, his short legs leaving him at a major disadvantage. "Ooh, I'm going to enjoy your training, little bastard. Better get used to calling me 'Master', you're never leaving this place."
The boy whimpered as the huge hand twisted his arm, and two large tears stood out in his eyes before trailing down his cheeks. His lip hurt, his arm hurt - why were they doing this to him? He wanted his mommy so bad.
"Hey Maud, I gotta biter here for ya!" The man tossed him casually through a door where he landed painfully on cold, hard tiles.
Wiping away a film of tears, the boy fearfully peeked up and saw another strange man standing a few feet away from him. This man was even taller than the last one, with a completely shaved head and rings through his ears and nose. The new man smirked down at him with cold amusement, "A biter, huh? We'll soon cure you of that. Let's get started right away, I'm on a tight schedule here. Take off your clothes, kid."
And that's where the real pain began, where his entire comforting world crashed down and formed something completely new. A new place where the pain never ended and the screams never seemed to die away. Agony...
***
Daisuke's eyes flew open with a start, his arms wildly thrashing at an unseen enemy. His throat was so tight that the terrified screams were unable to make it through. It was that same nightmare again, always the same. It had been where it all started, but it couldn't be real...
Gasping, he lay still, trying to push away the overwhelming panic. It wasn't real, it couldn't be. He would never fight against the Masters, he obeyed them with everything he had in him. Never would he disobey them, attack them... Kami, just the thought of that...
Finally after a few minutes he realized that he was being held tightly against someone, his face buried in their shirt. Taichi... it had to be Taichi. Relieved, the red head looked up and met with a pair of wide, frightened chocolate eyes. His brother... "Dais-chan, are you okay?"
He nodded carefully, "Y-yeah... I am." Everything was better now that he was safe; his onnichan would never let anything happen to him. Even now the scary dream was fading away to the back of his mind, where it would stay until another night came.
"Another nightmare?" Taichi asked, not loosening his grip one bit. The older boy always worried so much about them. He hated to see anything bad happen to him and the other boys and was always ready to protect them as much as possible.
Daisuke sighed and nodded slightly, pulling back only to find that Takeru was behind him. The other young boy's arms were wrapped tightly around him as well, sandwiching him between his two very best friends. "M'fine now." He reassured them quietly, snuggling back into Taichi's shirt where he felt safe. Safe from reality.
The three boys whispered to each other for a while; comforting one another in quiet words. Soon, though, they went silent, drifting off as weariness overcame them once again. Taichi and Takeru were quickly asleep, but Daisuke was unable to settle his active mind. The day's excitement was slowly creeping into him again, until he was unable to push down the curiosity. Carefully he raised his head and looked around, realizing for the first time that the room was empty of everybody but them three. After listening for a bit, however, he could make out a quiet conversation coming from another room. Satisfied that nobody was around at the moment, Daisuke slipped out of the arms of his friends with practiced ease. With barely contained eagerness he crept over to where he had dropped his bags. After double checking to make sure that no one was awake or in the room, he reached for the first bag and nimbly stuck a hand in.
There were so many things! Never in his life had he really owned anything, even his clothing had technically belonged to the Masters. But now there were all kinds of cool shirts, pants, socks and more. And they had told him that it was all for him! Happily the young teen held up a t-shirt in front of him, admiring the colors and design. His, all his own. Putting that down, he reached in and felt around inside the bag some more. Then his hands closed on another object which he quickly pulled out. It was two circles of framed glass attached together by a thin, black strap. He stared at them in amazement, unable to believe that this unknown item actually belonged to him. Ken had already explained what they were, goggles. Then Ken had bought them for him. Unable to control his excitement much longer, Daisuke quickly pulled the goggles onto his head, pushing away his bangs as he did so. They fit perfectly. How cool was this!
Joyously Daisuke set to work emptying the rest of his bags, digging through to find all of the interesting, new objects. Most of it was clothing, but there was also the odd something else thrown in. Like a flashlight that had attracted his attention, and a watch that Ken had promised to teach him how to use. It was like Christmas! Christmas was something that a boy named Wallace had once described to him. This boy had come all the way from America when he was five only to be kidnapped while on holidays with his parents in Japan. His story about the seasonal holiday had sounded so real and so delightful that Daisuke had dreamt about it for days on end. A day where everybody got presents and lived in peace and happiness.
Daisuke was so deep in his bliss that he failed to notice the entrance of the others. He was intently studying a large stuffed teddy bear, surrounded by his mess of presents, when there was a small giggle from behind. Horrified, he dropped the bear and jumped to his feet, staring despairingly at the kids in the doorway. Maybe he wasn't supposed to be opening his presents now, or maybe he would get in trouble for making such a mess. Miserably he dropped his gaze to the floor and waited for them to say something about how stupid he had been.
"Oh wow, Daisuke! You just look so cute in those!" Hikari squealed delightfully as she approached him with Ken at her side. Yamato was no where to be seen, so he must have stayed in the other room.
Confused, Daisuke peeked up and tried to figure out what she was talking about. Ken put an end to the confusion when he reached up and lightly touched the goggles that were resting in the thick reddish-purple hair on his head, "They do look good on you. So you like them?"
"I... I do... Ken." Ken was still here! He didn't quite know why that made him so happy, but over the day he had really come to like the quiet bluenette. Like him a lot.
Ken smiled, "That's good to hear."
They all stood staring at each other silently then, not quite knowing what else to say. Daisuke shifted nervously as they watched him, wondering what they were expecting him to do or say. Slowly he took a step back then sank down to his knees, reaching around him to start gathering up the mess he had made. It was the only thing he could think of and he knew that they couldn't be happy about him throwing around the stuff they had just bought him.
"Oh! Don't worry about that, Daisuke. I'll take care of it later." Hikari quickly told him, taking a pair of shorts from his hands. He stood up again, avoiding their gazes and feeling foolish for doing something before he was told.
The awkward silence threatened to return, but Daisuke glanced over at the couch and noticed that Taichi and Takeru were now sitting up and watching them. Before they knew it, the red head scrambled over to his brother and was soon huddled on his other side, face buried in his shoulder to shut out those awful stares. "It's okay, Dais, you did fine." Taichi whispered in his ear, comfortingly rubbing his back.
Daisuke only shook his head, denying that he had done anything that was 'okay'. At that moment Yamato came through the door and the younger boy felt his brother stiffen. Daisuke took a peek at the scene. The blonde glanced at them, before coolly raising an eyebrow at Hikari and Ken, "So're we going to find out what they know, or what? Takeru and I have to leave in an hour for dinner, so we better get going."
"Sure, I'll go grab some books," The only girl among them said before rushing to her room. Her parents weren't back yet, and wouldn't be until later so they had a lot of time to figure out what to do.
Yamato flopped into a large armchair as Ken asked, "Why don't you three come join me on the floor? It will be easier if we get into a small circle to see everything together."
Daisuke waited for Taichi to agree before crawling down with Takeru. Taichi, however, didn't follow. When Daisuke turned to see the reason for this he found the older teen staring pleadingly at Yamato. Surprised, Daisuke looked over at the elder blonde. Yamato was staring back at the brunette with expressionless, cold eyes. There was silence as even Takeru and Ken watched the staring match. Takeru looked just as confused as Daisuke felt, but Ken had a knowing smirk on his face.
Finally Yamato rolled his eyes and slid off the chair to the floor, motioning for Taichi to join him. Taichi's own eyes seemed to light up as he went over to sit next to the blonde. Daisuke felt... hurt. Why would Taichi rather go sit with that unemotional stranger than with his own brother? Trying not to show that it bothered him, he slid a bit closer to Takeru and took comfort in at least one companion he could count on. Taichi was probably just a bit confused anyway after all of the excitement of the day.
Ken, still smirking, sat down on the other side of Daisuke. Soon Hikari joined them with a pile of books in her arms. She dropped them in the middle and joined the circle, picking up a large book with pictures on the front. "This is a good starting place," Hikari said, opening up it up.
When Daisuke caught a glimpse of what was inside he immediately forgot about his previous scare and worries. "Are we gonna count?!" He loved counting. It was one of the things he could do well, especially since it had been one of the required lessons back at his old home.
Everyone except Takeru and Taichi turned their surprised stares on him and he shrank back uncertainly. Of course, he shouldn't have spoken out of turn. That's what always seemed to get him in trouble lately. But they didn't look angry so much as stunned. "Can you count?" Ken finally asked, looking as if he was trying to figure out some huge puzzle or something.
"Yeah..." Takeru answered hesitantly, "Can't everybody?"
This seemed to confound them even further. Surely they didn't think that they were that stupid, did they? "But... but I thought that you hadn't been educated..." Hikari helplessly looked at them for an explanation. Oh... right, the whole education thing.
This time Taichi decided to inform them of what was going on, "We can all count. We have to for... for money an' time and stuff. It's really important, the Masters... they made us learn."
Startled, Yamato backed up a bit to stare at them all, "Money? Time? Fuck... you mean..." He looked away uncomfortably.
Daisuke didn't understand what they were getting so upset over. Wasn't it a good thing that they knew their numbers? It had always been important so that customers wouldn't get more than what they had paid for. And if one wanted something extra on the spur of the moment, then they would know how much to charge them. It made sense, didn't it? With a sigh, Daisuke pushed away all the confusing implications and instead focussed on what made sense, "So are we gonna count numbers?"
Hikari blinked at him with the book still dangling limply in her hand, "Um... I guess..." She handed it over to him.
Eagerly, Daisuke took the book and set it half on his lap and half on his friend's. Takeru and him stared at the familiar numbers. It was a strange book though, only one huge number on each page and then a picture underneath the numbers. "Hey! That's a kitty, like the one that was hanging around the food room last year." Takeru exclaimed, pointing to the picture under the number one.
"Wow," Daisuke stared at the little drawing of the orange kitten. Taichi had crawled over to look over their shoulders, wanting to find out what all the commotion was about. "What're those thingies then?"
"What's pictures doing with numbers?" Taichi wanted to know, reaching over to touch one of the pages.
The other three shared amused looks before Ken told them, "It's to help beginners to count. See, one kitten... two puppies... three birds... and so on. Learning to count with animals, see?"
"Why?" Takeru asked, staring hard at the 'birds' in a nest. It did seem strange to associate animals with numbers. And how did this help someone to add and multiply or anything?
"Well... It just makes it easier, I suppose." Ken shrugged, moving closer to Daisuke's side in order to see better. Yamato and Hikari had shifted further in as well, curious at the amount of amazement that the pictures had produced.
Daisuke turned the page, then grinned, "Hey 'Chi, don't those look like the pet I had a few months ago?"
"Um... Daisuke..." Hikari wrinkled her nose, "Those are snails."
"So?" The boy looked at her in confusion, "It was a great pet. The best, even if it was a bit slimy. It died though when someone stepped on him," He said defensively. It had been his second pet ever, the first had been an ant that Rio had found for him. Rio... for a second the remembrance of all his friends that he had been separated from sent a tremor through him, causing him to blink back tears. Quickly he turned the page, putting the memories to the back of his mind as he did with all painful things.
Takeru whispered to him, "This is boring, it's easy stuff."
"No shit," Taichi whispered back, overhearing the comment, "Should we tell 'em?"
But they had already seen the looks on the three boys' faces and decided that it was time to move on. Hikari reached back into her pile and pulled out a thicker book, "Okay then, if you are so good with numbers, I want you to try some calculations." They looked at her and nodded, ready for anything. "Five plus five."
Daisuke gaped at her. That was it? A stupid addition? Takeru groaned slightly but obediently answered for them, "Ten." They had already gone through this training, they didn't need it again. It had all been drilled into their heads quite thoroughly, and they were not bound to forget it anytime soon. Not with the type of lessons that the Masters gave.
"Okay, just testing. Um..." She thought without even looking at the text which was obviously much more advanced, "2 x 6?"
"Twelve," Taichi answered in a toneless voice, settling his chin on Daisuke's shoulder with a sigh.
"Hmm... Four squared?"
Daisuke blinked and looked up, "Squared? Why're you bringing shapes in? I thought we were doin' numbers?"
"Ah... there we go." Ken said in a satisfied tone, "You only can do the simple math. None of the advanced or different types."
"Well, of course," Yamato added, "They only needed to know enough to count money and figure out the time. Nothing else."
Hikari nodded in agreement, setting down the book, "At least we have a starting point now. And we don't have to teach them from scratch, it will make it a lot easier."
They were going to... teach them? Daisuke quivered at the thought, pulling up his knees to his chest as the memories of the past 'teachings' forced themselves into his mind. He didn't want to go through that again, all the pain that they had inflicted over every little mistake. That was how they had been taught. No cute kitty or puppy pictures, only 'this is how you do it, remember it or else.' The Masters had never hesitated in beating the lesson into them. Bruises would fade over time anyway. As long as they left no scars on their 'precious children' they could deal with them as they liked. It was for that reason that Daisuke and all of the other kids had such good memories.
Taichi had drawn closer to the other two, hugging their shoulders in both comfort and in warning over disobeying. Not that Daisuke would even think of not doing whatever they told him to do. 'I'm sorry! Please don't hu-Aah! Sorry, sorry, sorry...'
"We'll have to wait until another time though, Takeru and I have to get going." They were saved by Yamato's toneless comment, and Daisuke almost went completely limp with relief. He noticed Ken's concerned stare from the corner of his eye, but managed to ignore it.
Takeru scrambled up to his feet immediately, looking as if he was trying to suppress a joyful smile as he also thought about their escape for the moment. Everyone stood up as Takeru and Yamato headed for the front doors, the older of the two picking up the shopping bags that belonged to them. Daisuke still felt a bit sick over the idea of more lessons, but he pushed it away for now. Lot's of time to worry over that later.
=-=-=-=
What does freedom mean? There is so many forms of freedom: the freedom of speech or thought; the condition of being free from restraints; liberty of the person from slavery, detention or oppression; political independence; civil and human rights... the list goes on and on. It is a different feeling for everyone. Some grasp at the freedom right away, able to see what it is and know what to do with it. For others, freedom is almost indiscernible. They have never tasted liberty before and so do not recognize it even when it is directly in front of their very noses.
It was like this for Takeru and his friends - how would they know that this was what freedom was like? It seemed instead like just another cage, a larger one but with just as strong a lock as the last. There was no escape. In fact it was almost worse than his last home because at least he had known the rules there, what would hurt him and what wouldn't. Here, he had no idea. Plus, there were so many similarities between this new life and the old one. There were still rules that he had to obey, even if he didn't know them all yet. And earlier they had learned of another parallelism of the past. Once again they would have to take up lessons, and learn fast or deal with the harsh consequences. Where was the freedom in that?
As Takeru lay in bed staring through the darkness towards the ceiling, he thought about the fairy tales that someone used to tell him about when he was younger. The storyteller had been a young girl, no more than ten years old, who had come in twice a week to wash clothes and sweep floors. The first time Takeru saw her, he knew that she was not someone to be afraid of. She had often been in his part of the building, and so while she swept out his room and gathered his dirty clothing, she would tell him wonderful tales of fantasy. And every tale would be about a certain character who defied all odds and managed to escape from some prison, or evil enchantment. The character would usually find someone to love and lived happily ever after. That's how every story ended... 'happily ever after'.
The blonde youth sighed mournfully into the night, turning over to his side. He snuggled deeper into the quilts and tightly shut his eyes. All those dark nights and exhausting days that he had spent wishing there was some way out... and now all he wanted to do was go back. Go back to where everything was familiar. Where he didn't have to struggle to understand what was going on. But it seemed that now there would be no turning back. Not now that he had ties to this frightening world.
The strongest tie was his brother. Brother... never in his short life had he ever dreamed of having another related to him. Someone who could watch over him, help him through the tough times. He had never wanted to admit it, but Takeru had always been a little envious of Daisuke's and Taichi's close relationship. They had each other, even going as far as to say they were brothers. But even though Takeru knew that they were his closest friends, he had longed for someone to call 'brother'. And so maybe... just maybe he would be able to learn how to live here... if Yamato helped him.
Takeru opened his eyes again as a quiet snort was heard from across the room. He could barely make out the black shape of Yamato who was fast asleep on the sofa. It was incredible how fast the other blonde fell asleep, while Takeru would have to lay awake for hours before sleep finally came to him. He supposed that it was even worse now that there was no over tiring work for him to do during the day.
Feeling restless, Takeru sat up in bed. He couldn't sleep, not right now. There was just too much going on in his mind. Instead he quietly slipped out from under the covers, sitting just on the edge of Yamato's bed while squinting through the dark. Yamato had told him a while ago that he was allowed to go anywhere in the small apartment without permission, especially if he had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Under no circumstances did the elder blonde want to be woken up just to be asked about that.
Silently Takeru stood up and tiptoed to the door, which had been left open for his benefit. He was hesitant about leaving the room, knowing that in the past he would have been severely punished, but it did not seem so threatening anymore. At the very least, he needed to understand his boundaries in the new life. Takeru quietly stepped out of the door, unable to make out much detail in the dark. At first he thought he heard a noise, but was unable to detect anything further as he strained his ears to listen. Taking a deep breath, and gathering what little courage he still had, Takeru slowly walked down the hallway. He had intended at first to go straight to the bathroom and then back to bed, but found himself wandering over to the other side of the apartment instead. It was then he noticed the light on in the kitchen.
Startled, Takeru peeked from around a corner to try to figure out if anyone was around. He knew for a fact that Yamato had turned off all the lights before heading to bed, but obviously someone had turned this one back on. Unable to stand the frightening suspense any longer, Takeru came to a quick decision and turned back to where he had come from. As he did, he collided painfully into something moving from behind him.
With a surprised yelp, Takeru fell down to the ground, and sat there in a frightened daze. He heard someone else curse from above him, "Shimatta! Yamato, what are you-" A light turned on and Takeru blinked in the sudden flood of brightness. Staring down at him was Masaharu Ishida. The man looked just as surprised as he, "Takeru? Are you okay? What are you doing up?"
Takeru shakily stood up again, keeping his head bowed as he felt his breathing speed up. Already the panic started to well up inside. What was he thinking? Wandering around in the middle of the night, now he was in for it for sure! Closing his eyes in a vain attempt to shut out the rising fear, he quietly answered, "I am sorry, I-Ishida-san."
"Sorry?" The older man sounded surprised, "Oh... don't be. I just wasn't expecting you to be up so late." His tone of voice gave off vibes of concern and uncertainty as well.
Takeru was confused. He hadn't had much time to learn about the oldest Ishida, but he had expected the man to be the same as all the adults he had known in his life. Commanding and strong. For some reason though, Masaharu seemed anything but forceful.
Masaharu was staring at him, he could feel it. But it wasn't a glare of hatred, or anger... more of an equally confused and kind stare. "Why are you out here?" The man asked, but not accusingly in any way.
Slowly opening his eyes again, Takeru looked up in to Masaharu's kind eyes, "I... I just..." He didn't know how to answer. There wasn't any specific reason for him being up and wandering around, so what could he say?
"You couldn't sleep?" Masaharu finished for him. Takeru nodded in agreement. "Oh... well, I just got home, myself. From work..." The blonde remained silent, wondering what this had to do with him. The Masters had never just said anything to him unless there was a reason for it... for him. "Here, why don't we head to the kitchen where we can talk without waking up Yamato."
Takeru nodded and turned around, then waited for the other man to lead the way. There was another thing that was confusing him. Why did Masaharu Ishida seem to care so much about Yamato, and vice versa? The man did not seem to have any control over his boy, and Yamato acted a little too casual around this imposing adult. To them there was no such thing as Master and subordinate. They acted almost like... friends or something.
Takeru was led to the kitchen table where he was motioned to sit down. Masaharu went over to the cupboards instead, and proceeded to rummage around for them, reaching over to turn on the kettle at one point. "Did you have fun today, Takeru? I heard you all bought a lot of good stuff at the mall." The man asked as he took down a couple of mugs.
He started to nod, but then realized that the other couldn't see him with his back turned like that. Instead he answered, "Yes, Ishida-san."
"That's good. At least you'll have something of your own to wear now." Masaharu went on, seemingly oblivious to how meaningless his words were to the younger one. "So are you and Yamato getting along then?"
"He's my brother!" Takeru blurted out before he could think. Cringing back a bit, he waited for a well deserved reprimand about speaking out of turn like that.
But Masaharu only smiled crookedly at him, raising one eyebrow while slowly scooping something into the mugs, "Well, that's good news. I hadn't known that you'd figured that out yet. Makes things a bit easier. Do you want marshmallows in your hot chocolate?"
With a confused blink at this sudden strange question, Takeru only stared back. The question really didn't make any sense to him. "Um... marshwhat?"
Shaking his head slightly in what looked to be exaggerated pity, Masaharu explained, "Marshmallows. Basically all sugar. Well, seeing as you've obviously had neither those nor hot chocolate, I'll just stick some in for you. They're very good... 'though Yamato's never liked them. He has a thing about sugar."
Takeru frowned, trying to follow the strange answer, but was unable to figure out what the man was going on about. There was a lot he still needed to learn, that was for sure. He was starting to relax, however. The casual conversation put him more at ease, making him realize that hurting him was the last thing Ishida-san wanted to do to him. In fact, the older man seemed to be trying to purposely gain his trust.
He was pulled from this unnerving thought as a mug of some sort of brown,
steaming liquid was placed in front of him, complete with floating white lumps.
He scrunched his nose slightly, wondering if it was safe to drink.
"Careful, it's hot," Masaharu warned him, blowing gently into his own
mug. Takeru watched for a moment before copying this action.
They sat across from each other at the table in silence for a few minutes.
Masaharu was amusedly staring at Takeru as the boy suspiciously sniffed at
the hot drink. Hesitantly, Takeru brought the rim of the mug to his
lips and took a tiny sip. Then he pulled back in surprise. The
drink tasted like... well, he had never tasted anything like it before, but
it was so good! It was sweet and filled his stomach with a warm,
pleasant sensation. Boldened by the first taste, Takeru took a bigger
gulp, ignoring the heat that burned his tongue.
Masaharu grinned a little as he watched, drinking at a slower pace from his own drink. "Like it?" He asked as Takeru licked his lips. A brown, chocolate mustache had formed on the boy's upper lip.
"Yes, thank you." Takeru nodded, clutching his mug as if to keep it from being stolen away like all the other good things that had come into his life before.
"So, now that I seem to have gained some ground into your good graces, I would like to know some things about you. And I would like to explain some of what is going on as well. I know that you've probably been finding it hard to understand the sudden change in your life, but we're doing everything we can to help you fit in." Masaharu set his mug down, looking quite serious all of a sudden, "Takeru... do you know what freedom is?"
Takeru looked up, a bit startled. When he saw no mocking look, or threat in those narrow brown eyes, he responded shyly, "That's... what I was thinking of. When I couldn't sleep." The man only raised his eyebrow again at this, but remained silent. "It means... well, that you are free from... from something bad. I think."
"But do you understand what it means to be free?" The look in those dark eyes were intense, as if trying to convey some hidden clue to him about something so obvious.
The blonde leaned back in his chair, suddenly afraid. Not of this kind man in front of him, but of what he might learn along with this conversation. "I don't... don't know."
Masaharu sighed, rubbing his head slightly, but then changed the topic so fast that it made Takeru's head spin, "Did you like living at the other... place."
Takeru noticed the slight waver in the other's voice, and tensed in even more confusion. 'Like' wasn't exactly the word he would use. "I... I don't think so." He answered truthfully. More likely than not, Masaharu knew the answers already. He wouldn't want to be caught in the act of lying. "It was... a home."
"Home?" Masaharu sounded surprised, "Takeru, does the word family mean anything to you?"
"Sure... everybody there was part of my family." He honestly told him. It was true, all of the children needed each other for support and so it was like one huge family. They were all brothers in a way.
"I mean, a real family. The family you were born to." The serious words had an edge to them, as if this was an important idea that the boy should know of. But the concept was lost to him. The only family he had ever known was the Masters and the other kids. He had never thought of where he had really come from. "You already know that Yamato is your brother, right?" Takeru nodded hesitantly, "Well, I am his father, which makes me your father as well. We are your family."
Takeru only frowned harder, unable to grasp the meaning of all of this new information. The word 'father' only meant so much to him. But somehow, in a vague sort of way, it all made sense. He could feel a distant sense of familiarity to this man, although he didn't really understand why.
Masaharu saw the apparent confusion, and sighed again, immediately backing off. "I'm sure you'll understand some day. Anyway, it's pretty late... or early I should say. You look like you could easily fall asleep now."
With a start of surprise, Takeru realized that he really did feel drowsy. All of the talking at mentally worn him out, and now he felt as though he would be able to drop off to sleep. "Yes, Ishida-san."
"Takeru... You don't have to call me that. I'd rather you would just call me Masaharu, at least then this will seem less like a formal occasion between strangers and more like a comfortable family relationship. Okay?" Takeru nodded, unable to say anything to this strange request. He would never have thought of calling an adult by their first name before. It seemed so absurd and dangerous. "Well then, let's get some rest. I know I'm exhausted, especially after working so late."
Takeru nodded and stood up, placing his now empty mug on the table. He waited for Masaharu to get up as well before heading down the dark hallway. The man only stopped for a moment to turn off the light. Masaharu bid Takeru a good night before turning off to his own room. Takeru went on to Yamato's bedroom alone, finding it very strange how much they seemed to trust him not to run off or something. The Masters had never let them wander anywhere alone.
He got back into bed without waking up the other boy in the room, and snuggled into the comfy quilts once again. His body felt more relaxed now that he had had that small talk with Masaharu. At least now he knew that he wasn't going to be hurt for small things, and some boundaries had been figured out. With a tired yawn, he laid still and listened to the even breaths coming from his brother. Comforted by this presence he felt himself drift off to sleep. He couldn't wait for tomorrow to come so that he could start learning more things about this new life.
=-=-=-=
(A/N) Hmm, not much really happened in this chapter, did it? Oh
well... good fics take time, ne? ^_^;; Well, hopefully I'll start
bringing the relationships closer soon, but these things have the tendancy
to run away from the original intent, as I'm sure some of you know! *sigh*
...