Many many many thanks to my one and only reviewer, Nexis-Dea. Your words definitely helped me hurry up and write faster. So, since you're the only one who reviewed, I'm dedicating this chapter to you. :)
Author's notes: Remember, the entire thing is written in Draco's POV. Keep that in mind, or things can get a little confusing.
Chapter 2 The Beginning of it all
We had just started our seventh year. Our last year. In a lot of ways, I was not looking forward to starting this year, let alone finish it. I knew that father expected me to join him and the rest of Death Eaters. Voldemort didn't want me to join their ranks until I could commit to him completely. Father had wanted me to leave Hogwarts altogether, but Voldemort had convinced him that I should stay. After all, I was always bringing them useful information. For some reason, Voldemort thought that maybe Dumbledore could indeed teach me a thing or two. So Voldemort urged me to return and learn all I could. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if it was some kind of trap. I never really trusted Voldemort, not fully. My father and the other Death Eaters would eat their own shit if he told them to. I had been resisting my father and Voldermort more and more over that summer. It wasn't the fact that I hated Voldemort's opponents; it was that I didn't want to live my life taking orders from someone else. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do or be, but I knew I didn't want to follow in my father's footsteps.
The train ride in had been long and boring. I had tried to nap a little, but I just kept seeing my future when I closed my eyes. So I sat up and watched the scenery go by. I had the entire compartment to myself. Crabbe and his entire family had moved over the summer. Crabbe had said it was so his younger sister could attend Durmstrangs. Sounded like bullshit to me. I overheard father saying to someone that Voldermort had wanted Crabbe to be his eyes and ears in other lands. That sounded like a better story. As for Goyle, he had been staying away from me. I didn't know why, and I didn't care. All the years of being a shithead had finally taken their toll. I was actually getting sick of having that reputation. A few first years would cautiously stick their heads into the compartment, and upon seeing me would slam the door shut again.
The train finally came to a lurching stop. Deboarding the train was chaos, as it is every year. The first years are always running around not sure of where to go, and every other year is anxious to get to the feast. I found my way down the hall, and was waiting my turn to go down the stairs when my heart stopped beating.
I saw the most beautiful girl.. hell.. Woman I had ever laid eyes on. Screw the fact that she was in Gryffindor, and a Mudblood. She took my breath away. Had she really grown up that much over the summer, or had she always looked like this and I was just now noticing? I stared at her, watching as she talked to Weasley and Potter. She seemed to get frustrated more than once, as their attention and conversation was elsewhere. I watched as she turned her head and looked around at the throng of students, looking for another familiar face. Then, to my horror, her eyes met mine. I couldn't look away. I just stood there, looking like an idiot. My horror turned to surprise when she kind of half smiled at me and nodded her head. I could feel my face starting to turn red, and quickly got off the train. I tried to make it through the crowd of people, but I had lost sight of her. She must have gotten into one of the carriages on their way to Hogwarts. I quickly took the first one I saw and got in, not caring that there were already a couple of third year Ravenclaws already occupying the carriage. They giggled and laughed, talking about their summer. I could hear their voices, but my mind was elsewhere.
My mind was on Hermione Granger.
What had just happened? Love at first sight? Wait, love? No, I was just looking at a beautiful woman. Lust perhaps? Nothing like this had ever happened to me. Did I want to maybe see where it could lead? Maybe it was more than lust. Maybe it was something real. But did I want to find out? If it was something more, shit, even if we were just friends my father would kill me. If he caught me talking to her, he'd beat me till he was satisfied I'd never think about looking at a Mudblood again.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn't care.
My father had married my mother and had sex with her solely for the purpose of creating me. He wanted an offspring to mold and create into a smaller version of him. He had never really cared for my mother, and never really cared for me. My mother repulsed him. I disgusted him. He had beaten both of us just for those reasons. And when those reasons weren't good enough, he found others. He wanted me to be the perfect little son. Following my fathers every whim whether I wanted to or not. And I did. It was easier than being beaten. And for a while, I didn't care doing what he told me to. It just became so easy to be cruel to everyone. The prejudice that he had raised me with had just come along so naturally. It was so easy to copy him. I too would look down on those who weren't born into money. I sneered at the Mudbloods, and played tricks on Muggles.
The older I got, the more I began to question things. Why were Mudbloods so inferior? Why didn't the Muggles know about us? Why did Voldermort want to kill everyone that didn't do his bidding? If Voldermort was so powerful, why didn't he just kill everyone who stood in his way and be done with it? When I asked questions, or tried to ask questions I was beaten for my impudence.
Coming to Hogwarts was the thing that changed me, for the better. I knew I would be out of the reach of my father's fist for at least part of the year. I was able to interact with other kids my age. I learned a lot, and not just in the book smarts sense. I learned that yes, my shit does stink. I realized that I was no more important than anyone else, in school and the world outside. And I learned a lot from Harry Potter, not that he would ever have known it. His friends liked him for who he was, not because he had money or power or prestige. Everyone looked up to Harry Potter, and he didn't have to insult anyone or make fun of people. He didn't have to buy his way onto the Quidditch team. Harry and his friends had taught me humility. It had taken me a better part of my seven years at the school to see that I wanted to be more like Harry. I didn't want to be a Malfoy anymore.
As the carriage stopped, I made up my mind. I was going to tell Hermione what I felt. I was going to see if she was willing to give me a chance. I was going to try to be friends with Harry and Ron, and everyone else in school for that matter. I knew that I had been mean to all of them for our first few years. I would have a lot of ass kissing to do.
I jumped out of the carriage and made my way up the stairs, and into the Great Hall. I looked over at the Gryffindor table, and the spot where they all usually sat. She was there, laughing at something that Harry or Ron had just said. God, she was beautiful when she laughed. I stared for just a moment longer, and when her eyes looked my way I quickly dropped my gaze. Had she seen? I looked back up in her direction and she was still looking at me, with a look of confusion on her face. Then she looked away. This looked promising. We continued to play 'eye tag' through the sorting, and most of dinner. Each time our eyes made contact for longer and longer.
After dinner the majority of the students made their way to the dormitories. I wanted to make a stop at the library before heading to the dungeons. As I made my way up the stairs, I looked farther up when I heard a familiar voice. Harry and Ron were in front with Hermione close behind. From where I was I could hear that they were talking about Quidditch. Hermione was running to keep up with them. She has almost reached them when her foot slipped and she started to fall backwards. I quickly leapt to catch her. She screamed, and then I caught her in my arms. She grabbed onto me as I held her. I welcomed the grip. Her weight felt wonderful.
"Are you Ok?" I asked her. "I thought angels were only supposed to fall from Heaven."
She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for catching me." She smiled then, catching the last part of what I had said to her.
Harry and Ron had turned around and rushed down the stairs to where I was holding her. "Hermione, are you ok?" They both asked, at the same time.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She told them. She pulled herself up, and released her grip on me. I reluctantly let go.
Harry cleared his throat. "Well,... uh.. Thanks for catching her Malfoy."
"Yeah, thanks." Ron muttered, looking away.
"Draco, please. And it's no big deal. I'm just glad she wasn't hurt." I smiled at Hermione. She smiled back, that same look of confusion on her face. "I'll see you guys around." I turned then and started toward the library, leaving three very bewildered Gryffindor.
It was almost two days later when I saw the trio again. I was sitting alone in the library, working on my Defense against the Dark Arts essay. All three of them came over to the table that I was at and without asking, sat down around me. I looked up from my homework, looked around the table at all of their faces, smiled at each one in turn, and returned to my homework. They all had a determined look on their face, except for Hermione whose face showed something more. I turned back to the book that I had been taking notes from, and paused long enough to ask "Is there something I can do for you guys?"
Ron spoke first, which surprised me. "The other night, when you caught Hermione.. um.."
"What Ron means," Harry interrupted" is why have you been so nice to us? You've had all sorts of chances to say something mean and you just haven't been your usual ferret self."
I could feel all of their eyes on me.
"Well I guess to put it bluntly, I've grown up. I've realized that all that name calling and tricks were just juvenile pranks. I know that I've been rude, and annoying, and a jerk. But I would really like to be friends with the three of you. I don't mean that we have to spend every waking moment together or anything, but I'd like to at least be able to speak to you like adults like we are right now." I finished, looking at the three of them.
Ron pushed his chair out, not caring that it scraped loudly across the floor. "What a load of bull Malfoy. I would never want to be friends with someone like you." He stormed off, leaving the library. Harry stayed behind. He looked at me with a quizzical impression.
"I'd like to believe you, but you'll have to pardon me if I don't." Harry told me.
"Well I don't expect you to. I've been an asshole. I will show all of you, everyone in this school that I am not what my father raised me to be. It's ok if you doubt me. I would doubt me if I was in your shoes. Time will show you. Truce?" I smiled at him, and outstretched my hand. He took it hesitantly, and shook back. "I need to go find Ron and see if I can calm him down. Coming Hermione?"
She shook her head at him. "No, I've got a few things I want to look up as long as I'm here." He turned and left the library.
Hermione remained in her seat. I could feel her eyes studying me. She got up a few minutes later, and returned with several books. She got the parchment and quill out of her bag, and began to write. I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She was having a lot of trouble concentrating on whatever it was she was trying to do. Deciding to help her out, I turned and faced her.
"Was there something you wanted Hermione?" I asked. God, her eyes were beautiful from this distance.
"Actually, yes there was." She paused. "Why did you say what you said to me? I mean, did you mean what you said to me?"
"Why did I say it? I have no idea why I said it. But yes, I meant it." I smiled at her, showing her my rarely seen dimples. She blushed, and returned to her work.
After that, the time flew by. I had asked to be removed from the house Quidditch team, knowing that I had never belonged. I had a lot more time for my studies now, which is what I told my father when he sent me an owl. He was obviously irate, and in my return I told him that I would have no use for Quidditch and flying brooms after graduation and I preferred to spend my time studying the dark arts and potions. It seemed to calm him enough that he didn't come and remove me from school.
Ron, Harry, Hermione and I had become a kind of friends. There was still a tension between us, but it became less and less stressed as time went on. I played chess with both Ron and Harry, and studied in the library with Hermione. The four of us even took our first Hogsmeade trip together, visiting Fred and Georges' joke shop. I had even managed to talk Hermione into taking a few walks with me around the lake that was on Hogwarts grounds. We had talked about my family and her family and school and everything else.
I was falling so deep so fast. And it really scared me. I just hoped it wasn't as obvious to everyone else.
A/N: I have the entire thing written, it's just all in my head. All I have to do is type it! I'm hoping to be able to have more regular updates, but we'll see. Hope you enjoyed!
Krysty