Rurouni Kenshin Fanfic
Rurouni Kenshin & Samurai X Original Japanese Version (c) N.Watsuki/Shueisha * Fuji-TV * SME Visual Works Inc. * Sony Pictures Entertainment
All Fanfics created by Chiruken (me) were written for the sole purpose of shared entertainment and not intended for publication or sale.
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Endurance
By Chiruken
Chapter 8
Her hand stung from the sharp contact of a moment before, the sound of the slap ringing in her ears. She ignored both and stared furiously at the man she called friend. "Why? Why did you go in there? Don't you think Kaoru has endured enough tonight? What do you think it did to her to have you, a man, in the bathhouse with her while she bathed? Have you no shame?" She shook with her fury. Didn't he know enough to give Kaoru the privacy she needed and deserved? "You just don't walk in on a woman while she's bathing! Especially after what she's already gone through tonight!" She lifted her hand and slapped him again, surprise seeping through her anger when he didn't attempt to stop her. She knew he could have, his reflexes were good enough to do so. But he hadn't. He'd let her strike him, not once, but twice. She closed her hands into fists, feeling a moment of shame cut through her anger when her eyes fell on the red mark against his cheek. Why had she done that? She shouldn't have struck him, no matter what the cause.
He gently caressed his stinging cheek before dropping his hand to his side, closing it into a tight fist. "I deserved that." He whispered before giving her a hard look. "But don't do it again, Megumi-dono." He stepped passed her and turned for the gate. He understood her anger and part of him agreed with her. He really shouldn't have intruded on Kaoru in her moment of privacy. Though he knew the excuse wasn't enough, he still offered it. He wouldn't apologize to the doctor for caring about Kaoru enough to ignore the strict rules of polite society. He may regret his actions, but he felt justified. "I wanted to see for myself that she was all right."
She swallowed against the lump forming in her throat, fighting against the tears threatening, once again, to fall. "Wh-where are you going?" She stared at him, horrified at her actions. He was suffering just as much as she was, if not more. Even if he hadn't admitted it to anyone, he was in love with Kaoru and it had to be tearing him apart inside to know that he'd been unable to prevent the pain she was now enduring. She may still be annoyed with his total disregard for propriety, but she also feared that once he left, he'd never return. Such an event would be devastating for Kaoru, she knew. She didn't know how she could possibly persuade him to stay if he was intent on leaving, but she knew she had to try. She waited, anxiety gnawing at her insides, for his answer.
He closed his eyes, halting his retreat and drew in a deep, calming breath. He didn't turn to face Megumi, not wanting to see the censuring look he was certain was still in her eyes. He knew he deserved her anger, but that didn't mean he wanted to see it. "To see Saito. He will know how to find the bastard responsible." With that said, he left, turning his steps towards the building where the former leader of the third squad of the Shinsengumi had his office. He hated having to go to his former enemy for help, but for Kaoru, he'd endure the hell of having to ask him for assistance. He knew the other man wouldn't let him live it down for the rest of his days.
Biting her lip, she turned back to the bathhouse. She knew how difficult it was for him to ask for help, especially from a man he didn't like. None of them liked, she quickly amended. Stepping into the steamy bathhouse she forced a smile to her lips. "Kaoru? I'm back. I brought you a yukata to wear." Her false cheer rang hollowly in her ears, but she was determined to try to put the other woman at ease by any means necessary.
She stared at the doctor for a moment, trying to read her thoughts through the forced cheerfulness she wore. It was like armor against the horrors of the night. She almost smiled at the thought of Megumi donning armor of any kind. She'd always thought her prickly attitude protection enough against any foe. In a verbal sparring match, Takani Megumi was unbeatable. She always secretly admired that about the other woman. Sighing, she forced her mind back the present. "Is Kenshin gone?" She slowly stood, water dripping from her naked form. When the other woman nodded she sighed again. "You shouldn't have slapped him, Megumi." She silently applauded the way her voice remained steady, calm. She'd decided, after Kenshin had left her, that she was going to have to be strong. She couldn't rely on everyone else to fight this battle for her. Only she could help herself get over the events of the night. It wasn't fair to burden her friends with her troubles. It was enough to know that they were there for her if she needed them. Kenshin's words had struck her deeply. He blamed himself for what had happened and she refused to allow it. He couldn't be with her all the time, protecting her from every little hurt life threw at her. She had to stand on her own sometime, and there was no time like the present.
Megumi stared at her in surprise, shocked at the serenity reflected in the younger woman's blue eyes. There were still shadows held within her gaze, but somehow, while she'd been occupied elsewhere, her inner strength had prevailed and her determination to survive had reasserted itself. At that moment, she couldn't have felt prouder to know Kamiya Kaoru. "How did you---"
"I heard everything through the window. He probably deserved it, but you shouldn't have done it. He's upset, too." She stepped out of the furo and welcomed the soft towel the doctor held out to her. "I don't really know how to feel about this, Megumi, but I don't think Kenshin meant any harm by coming in here." Somehow, she'd gotten the impression that by entering the bathhouse he'd caused himself more harm than her. She didn't understand what it was that he was feeling at the moment, but she was willing to try.
"No, I'm sure he didn't. But sometimes he acts without thinking and I don't want you to be hurt anymore." She held the yukata for the younger woman to slip into, her words resounding with the clarity of truth. Kenshin hadn't meant any harm, but something had happened while he'd been with Kaoru. She had seen it in his eyes. She was reluctant, though, to ask what had transpired between the two. It was private and she didn't want to pry.
"Can I stay here tonight? I-I don't want to have to face Yahiko yet…" She felt that she could face him the next day, but for the night she needed to gather herself more, erect her barriers to protect herself. She knew that his teasing and belligerent attitude would not do her any good until she was more in control of herself. There was also Sanosuke to deal with, but again, that would come the next day. Tonight she would hide. Tomorrow she would face with a clear mind.
"Of course you can!" She quickly hugged her younger friend and led her out of the bathhouse. "The tea should help you sleep. I have to go to the clinic in the morning, but you're welcome to come with me if you want."
"No, I'll have to face everybody sooner or later. I guess sooner is better, right?" She smiled shakily and stepped into the inviting warmth of the house. "Besides, I think I need to talk to Kenshin about…about this." She winced inwardly, but lifted her chin, her stubborn pride beginning to reassert itself. She couldn't hide from him forever and they really needed to talk, to clear things up between them and maybe move on. She couldn't let him carry the burden of guilt by himself. It hadn't been his fault and she knew she was the only person who could convince him of that.
She smiled, encouraged by the returning stubbornness she'd come to associate with the young woman. It was a sign that she wasn't going to roll over and let the situation get the best of her. She felt that was a step in the right direction towards recovery. It would still take time, but at least she was taking that all important first step. "Don't rush yourself. I know that it's necessary, but give yourself time, Kaoru." She couldn't rush things, she had to first heal herself before she attempted to reach out to anyone else. She knew the young woman wouldn't be easy to restrain, her giving nature would prevent her from allowing anyone else to suffer in her stead. She smiled, thinking that if it weren't for her giving nature, she'd still be alone in the world, perhaps even dead. She owed everything she had now to Kaoru and the others at the doujou. They'd taught her that suicide wasn't the answer, that she had something to return to the world to atone for the wrongs she'd committed while under Takeda Kanryuu's control.
She nodded and accepted the warm cup, inhaling the fragrance of the liquid before sipping it slowly. "Truly, I just want to hide forever, but I know I can't. I have responsibilities and I can't just abandon Yahiko's training. I have to keep going, keep myself busy, or I know I'll just want to curl up in a little ball and…" She allowed the left to remain unfinished. She knew Megumi would understand.
"I know. It's hard, though, isn't it?" She smiled and took the now empty cup from her. "Just remember that we're all here for you, no matter what, all right?"
"All right." She smiled, the expression more natural, but still a shadow of her usual cheerfulness. She followed the older woman to the spare room and allowed her tuck her into the futon, snuggling into the soft sheets. "Thank you…for everything…" She whispered, her eyes drifting closed, the tea taking effect rapidly and making her drowsy. She was thankful, fearing that without the sedative she never would've been able to find rest in sleep, the memories too close to the surface to allow her to relax. "I hope Kenshin doesn't get into trouble…"
Shaking her head, she sighed and left, closing the shouji quietly. "She always thinks of others before herself…" She whispered softly before seeking her own futon. She knew sleep would be a long time in coming that night.