Rurouni Kenshin Fanfic
Rurouni Kenshin & Samurai X Original Japanese Version (c) N.Watsuki/Shueisha * Fuji-TV * SME Visual Works Inc. * Sony Pictures Entertainment
All Fanfics created by Chiruken (me) were written for the sole purpose of shared entertainment and not intended for publication or sale.
**~**
Endurance
By Chiruken
Chapter 9
He clenched his hands into fists at his sides, teeth gritted hard enough his jaw hurt. He watched as the other man casually lit his cigarette, carefully keeping his expression impassive as he waited impatiently. He seemed to take great delight in delaying the process, drawing out the match with painful slowness, studying the tip intently before striking it against the rough bar on the side of the box. The tiny flame erupted into life, dancing merrily as he stared at it as if mesmerized, the flickering glow reflected in his narrowed amber gaze before he touched it to the tip of his cigarette, drawing deeply, inhaling the acrid smoke deep into his lungs. He wanted to choke just watching him. "So, Battousai, what brings you here of all places." He slowly turned his attention away from the match as he blew the sputtering flame into a tiny curl of sulphur scented smoke.
It galled him to have to ask this man for anything, especially something this important to him. He swallowed, feeling as if it were his pride, when the other man's already narrow amber gaze seemed to narrow even further, giving him a highly predatory look. A lesser man would be scurrying for the door, desperate for escape. He ignored the look as best he could. He wasn't intimidated as much as disgruntled. "I need your help, Saito." He shifted, uncomfortable under his sudden show of interest as evidenced in the way he stood straighter and his eyes filled with an unholy light.
"With what?" Saito's curiosity was piqued. It was highly unusual for the smaller man to willingly seek him out, especially for assistance. He decided that the night had just gotten interesting. He was looking forward to seeing how far the former hitokiri would go with this. He forced his body to ease into a posture of relaxation, leaning back in his chair to watch the subtle, but interesting, nuances in the other man's stance. It was clear to him that Himura Kenshin was extremely agitated about something. He wondered what could have happened to bring that hard look back into his eyes, a shadow of his former self leaking through his tight control. Except for the coldness in his amber flecked violet eyes, he appeared as calm as ever.
Ignoring the way the acrid smoke from Saito's cigarette was tickling his nose, making him want to sneeze, he drew in a shallow breath, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "Kaoru-dono was attacked tonight. I wish to find the man responsible." His hands clenched into fists, his only outward sign of the turmoil he felt inside. He was rather proud of the way his voice had remained steady, even if the tone had been a touch hard.
He nearly swallowed his cigarette in his surprise. That was the last thing he expected to hear. Briefly he wondered how the man had escaped thus far. He would have thought the man once known as Hitokiri Battousai would've killed him already. Unless there was something he wasn't telling him. "Attacked?" He asked carefully, eyes never leaving the other man's strained expression. There was something very wrong about the way the other man was reacting. He straightened, his customary mocking smirk replaced by a scowl. He had a bad feeling about the situation. "How badly was she injured?" He reasoned that the girl was still alive since the other man was standing before him. He felt that if Kamiya Kaoru were dead nothing would stop the ex-hitokiri from tracking him down by any means necessary, regardless of the consequences.
His jaw clenched, expression hardening, briefly revealing his inner struggle to maintain outward calm. He found it very difficult to form the words and it was a monumentous struggle to keep his tone even. "Bad enough." He was reluctant to divulge the rest, to go into detail of something that should be kept private for Kaoru's benefit as well as his own unwillingness to vocally acknowledge the ordeal she had endured, but knew that it was necessary. "She was raped." The admission emerged flat, his voice devoid of inflection. Saito could never know how hard it was to finally say the words, to admit his complete and utter failure in protecting the young woman he cared so deeply about.
He surged to his feet, his chair clattering to the floor. "What?" He couldn't believe the smaller man was so calm in view of the situation. He thought the rurouni was in love with the girl. "You seem rather calm, Battousai. It makes me wonder just how much the girl really means to you after all." Inwardly, his mind was racing. If the story were true…and he had no reason to doubt the smaller man's words at this point…then why was he coming to him? It made no sense to him. Why would he seek out the assistance of his former enemy in something so personal? Wouldn't it be more reasonable to assume he would wish to see to the matter of vengeance on his own?
He gritted his teeth. Saito wasn't making it any easier for him, not that he'd been under the illusion that the other man would be inclined towards sympathy. "How would you have me react? It's pointless to lash out indiscriminately, Saito. If you want the truth, I **am** angry. But what can I do? I don't know who did it and until I do, I can't do a thing."
His eyes narrowed as he studied the rurouni intently, finally recognizing the turmoil revealed by his fluctuating ki. He shouldn't be surprised at how adept he was at masking his ki. He'd gained much experience in doing so during the chaos of the revolution. "Ahh…I see." He relaxed, understanding filling him. The other man was barely managing to maintain control in the face of this gravest of tragedies. For a man such as Himura Kenshin, admitting his true feelings on the matter was nearly impossible. To do so meant that he could no longer deny his true nature…that of a hitokiri, a ruthless killer. **And so…** Saito surmised, **He will fight his instincts and hold onto his tenuous control as a drowning man clutches a lifeline. Just like Himura Kenshin, the rurouni. But it goes against his nature as Himura Battousai, the hitokiri.** In other words, the smaller man was obviously being torn between two needs…the need to protect and the need to destroy. It was a difficult situation, for both of them. He sympathized with both sides, understanding his driving need to protect Kamiya Kaoru…and his subsequent feelings of failure to do so…and his need to destroy the one who caused her pain. The rurouni part of him, the non-killing idealist, and the hitokiri part of him, the killer, were at war, each fighting for control of the other man. It was a potentially volatile situation. "So, what will you do when you find him?" He leaned forward, resting his hands on the hard surface of his desk. Despite the gravity of the circumstances, he was curious which side would win the inner battle being waged within Himura Kenshin's heart.
"Kill him." He spoke without hesitation, his decision, though hard won, already made.
**So, that is the way of it. He will throw everything that he has worked for over the years since the end of the revolution for the girl.** He was almost disappointed. He'd come to accept, if not like, the other man's ideals and he respected the strength it had taken to refuse to take another life, no matter what the circumstances. He didn't like it, but he could respect it. "Are you sure that's the path you wish to take? What about your silly idealistic vow to never kill again? What of that?" It went against the grain to argue this point, but he had to be certain of his motives. If he had made the decision based solely on emotion, then it was a flawed choice and could only lead to more trouble in the future.
"He hurt Kaoru!" He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, knowing that his outburst was inappropriate. The tenuous hold he kept on his emotions slipped, revealing his inner torment. His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he fought to regain control. Slowly, he opened his eyes, expression hard, but his restraint restored. "He must be brought to justice." He finished, somewhat calmer, though his voice still shook with the emotions barely kept at bay.
He nodded slowly, feeling his respect for the other man grow despite himself. His struggle to maintain a calm perspective was clear to see. "Tenchu. Is that wise?" Saito stepped around the desk and stared hard into the smaller man's eyes, seeing the way amber was slowly infusing the usual soft violet. It didn't surprise him to see the familiar hint at the hitokiri he'd once been, not after his declaration of 'heaven's justice'. "You've spent many years fighting the instinct to kill, is it wise to give in now?" He felt he was honor-bound to point out the obvious to the rurouni.
"Shut up." The command emerged on a low, dangerous growl. He didn't want the other man reminding him of his vow made so many years before. "What makes you think that Kaoru-dono was his first victim? Or his last? He could strike again, maybe killing his next victim. Someone like that is more dangerous than I could ever be, Saito. His motives are disgusting. What I did was for the hopes of a better era…a Japan that was safe for everyone. His actions pervert that ideal, nullify it, and he must be stopped."
He sighed inwardly. "Because he dared to attack your woman?" He was only mildly surprised at the other man's reasoning. Somehow he'd known his ideals, left over from the revolution, would seep through and color his actions.
"No, because he could attack a woman at all." He lowered his gaze to the floor and closed his hands into fists. The silence stretched, the ticking of a clock the only sound in the office. "And because it was Kaoru-dono." He finally admitted softly.
He nodded slowly, his respect, yet again, rising for the other man. He knew it had taken a lot for him to admit his feelings on the matter, even that much. "All right." Saito stepped back and stubbed his cigarette out in an overflowing ashtray perched on the edge of his desk. "I'll help you, on one condition."
"What condition?" He was almost afraid to ask. The other man could be devious beyond belief and he feared he'd be asked to do something that would go against his own feelings and beliefs.
"Don't kill him. Let the law handle this matter. Justice will still be served, but your hands will remain clean, your ideals intact. And the girl will be avenged."
He blinked in surprise, uncertain what motives were behind Saito's sudden change in attitude. "Why?"
"I don't want to clean up after you. If you start killing now, where will it end? One rapist will lead to another and then another until the government you fought so hard to protect will send me after you to eliminate you. I don't think I'd like that at this point. I have enough things to worry about without having to take care of you too."
He almost smiled. "Thank you." He murmured softly, feeling a small bit of liking for the other man replace his previous intense dislike.
He waved a hand dismissively. "Get out of here. I have a job to do." It was going to be hell for the next while, until he found the man Himura Kenshin was after. Without a description, it would be next to impossible, but he would do what he could. He had a particular hatred for men who would force a woman. It was dishonorable behavior and not easily overlooked, no matter who the man was or what his excuses may be.