Doing What I Have To Do
I'm looking in the mirror, trying to figure out what I've done to deserve this sort of treatment. I've given that man nothing but love and support. LOVE AND SUPPORT! And he returns it with a fist to the face or a kick to the stomach; even when I was pregnant with Simone, all he did was attack me. I can't take it anymore. Today is the day. This is the day that Dany Garcia-Johnson, walks away from the crap. This is the day that Dany Garcia- Johnson says, 'enough is enough.' If only I knew how to do that! As I look into the mirror, all I see is the black eye, the swollen jaw, the scratches, and it's horrible. I crawled from underneath Dwayne this morning and limped into the bathroom and here I am, a mess. A big mess, wearing nothing more than his pajama top and bruises, staring into the mirror, pondering my fate.
"Who the fuck told you to claim head of household on the goddamn taxes?"
"Dwayne, I'm the only source of income."
"That supposed to mean something? You tryin to say that I don't bring shit into this house? I'm not the man of my house?"
"No Dwayne, that's not what I'm trying to say at all. I know you try hard to pull your weight around here-"
"Is that what you're trying to say, Dany? Didn't you tell me, when I wanted to pursue my dream of wrestling, that you'd take care of me and that I didn't have to work?"
"Yes, Dwayne, I did."
"Now you tryin to say that I'm not a man?"
"No, Baby, that's not it at all."
"Then what the fuck is it, then? Huh?"
*Smack*
"Huh? *smack* Little Miss Vice President of Financial Affairs at Merril Lynch *smack* You throwin the fact that you got this big ass position in my face? *smack*"
"Dwayne, please! Stop!"
"You want me to stop? *Smack* You can't be the big, bad, bold bitch that you are at work up in here? *Smack*"
He hit me hard, sent me flying to the floor, he stood over me, continuing to swing at my face and body. I tried to slide away from him, but he stayed on me until he heard Simone's cry.
"Fuck!"
"Dwayne please!"
"Don't you shout at me, Bitch! You'd better be lucky that my daughter needs me right now."
He went off to tend to Simone's cries and I laid there on the floor, trying to recuperate from the damage that he did to me physically. I can't take this anymore, I just can't. He came back and saw me on the floor, he picked me up and pushed me against a wall, holding my wrists together tightly.
"You just need to learn to listen to me."
"I do, Baby, I always listen to you."
"No you don't! I didn't ask you to talk.see? Your ass just don't listen!"
Dwayne let me go and slammed his fist into the wall above me, I jumped and started to run away from him. I ran down the hall and he chased me.
"Bring your ass back here! I'm not playing games with you, goddamnit."
I ran into the guest bedroom of our 4 bedroom house and locked the door, I got down in the corner next to the chaise lounge and prayed that he'd just go away. He kicked at the door and banged on it repeatedly.
"Open this fuckin door, Dany! Open this shit now!"
The next thing I knew, he had kicked down the door.his once beautiful brown eyes were filled with anger and hatred. He came towards me and grabbed me from the corner and shook me repeatedly.
"I'm not gonna tell you again, I wont be chasing your ass around MY house, playing these fuckin games!"
"I know.I'm sorry. Please don't hit me."
"Quit beggin, I hate when you do that shit. If I was gonna hit you, your ass would be hit by now."
"Please."
"Shut up and let me look at you. Damn, I got you good. See what happens when you get me mad? You bring this shit on yourself."
"I know. I'm sorry, just."
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"
He kissed my neck and tried to kiss my lacerations, he sat down on the chaise and pulled me on top of him, holding my butt in his hands with his firm grip.
"Dwayne.maybe you should give Simone what she wanted."
"She wanted her teddy bear. Now shut up."
Dwayne unbuttoned his night shirt that I was wearing and started to hold me tightly, I tried to push away from him because I was in too much pain to be intimate.
"Stop it, goddamnit, I'm trying to apologize."
"You don't have to apologize, Honey, but please, just let me lie down."
"See? I'm sick of you trying to control me! Fuck this."
He held my arms tighter above my head, ripped my shirt off and pulled at his shorts. He tore my panties off and forced himself into me, it hurt so bad and I was already in so much pain that I couldn't even cry. Crying would make him angrier and he'd hurt me even more. He humped and groped me and forced me to make love to him, inside I cried, but outside, I tried to be strong. When he was done, he put his nightshirt back on me and we ended up in bed, that's when I woke up and found my way in here. I'm just a mess, sitting on the edge of the tub, crying.blubbering because for almost 12 years, I've taken his abuse, but today, enough is enough. When my daughter can point at my bruises and say 'da da hurt, da da hurt', it's time to move on.
People wonder why I've taken this for so long, and it's not like it's been this way forever. Dwayne had goals, he wanted to be a football player, he tried the draft and that didn't happen, so he tried to play in Canada, he wanted to feel like he accomplished something, but that failed as well. He came back here to Miami and decided to wrestle just like his father and grandfather did, but when I saw him in the ring for the first time and saw all the pain and emotion in his face, I yelled out 'It's okay Dwayne! You don't have to do this! I'll work! I'll take care of us!' and he got out of the ring and said, 'I don't want you to feel like I'm being hurt, but if that's what you want, that's what I'll do.' Since then, I've been the breadwinner in this family. He has his pride and his ego, which can be high at times, and he's tried to find jobs, he worked at a gym until a few years ago when his mother passed. He didn't know what to do with himself, he just got angry and questioned his motives in life and just never wanted to do anything since. He just stayed in the house all day, he'd go to the gym occasionally and come back pumped and pissed. He'd snap for no reason and that's when the abuse started. When Simone came along, he learned to control his anger, but not with me. My friends say that he resents the fact that I have such a high position and he doesn't, but I just say, he's still trying to deal with his mother's loss and Simone's helped him to love again. It's messed up, I know, but I'm a battered woman in a relationship with a 6'4'', 260 lb man.everything I seem to say sounds messed up.
"DANY! Where are you?"
"I'm in the bathroom, Dwayne."
"Hurry up, you're gonna be late for work."
"I will, Baby." ~*~*~*~*~ "Good morning, Dany."
"Good morning, Jennifer."
I'm at the office, with my face plastered with makeup, sunglasses cover up my eye, as well as the hair that I've put in my face. I don't plan to see many clients today, I don't plan to do much.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure."
"Dany, what's with all the make up? He's at it again?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I know I went overboard with the makeup, but I was running late."
"Don't play dumb with me, you know exactly what I'm talking about! How can you let him use you for a punching bag?"
"Now is not the time, nor the place for discussion of my marriage."
"Why wont you leave him?"
"Jennifer, I know you mean well.but.but.never mind. Thank you for your concern."
"Whatever you say, Dany."
"Mrs. Johnson, you have a call on Line 2. It's your sister."
"Thank you, Dorothy."
"Hey Sis."
"Hey Margo"
"What's wrong?"
"I've decided to leave Dwayne."
"Oh, thank God! Thank God! It took forever for you to come to that decision!"
"I know, but I just can't take it anymore. I know he's got a lot of pride and it really hurts it because he's got a wife who's doing all the earning in his family."
"Everything's not about him! Think about yourself, think about your daughter! What good are you to her if you're dead?"
"I know.I know. I'm going to go home on my lunch break and pack, he'll probably be asleep and so will she. I'll just take her and our things and."
"And you come stay with us. We wont mind at all."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. I'll see you then, okay?"
"Okay." ~*~*~*~*~*~ Alls quiet here, there's not the normal blast of his workout music as he lifts weights. He's asleep, just as planned, now all I have to do is get in and out. I'm in Simone's room and she's asleep, I'm caressing her face softly.
"Hi Mami. We're gonna get away from Daddy today."
I'm packing her clothes and her most necessary things and carrying her and them into my and Dwayne's room. He's not in there.something's up.something's definitely wrong. I'm putting her down on the bed and pulling out my suitcase and packing up my things. I don't even care about it all, I'm just taking what I need. I'm carrying her and our things down the stairs and I'm looking around.I still don't see Dwayne. I don't care, this all makes it easier. I'm putting her in her car seat and throwing our suitcases in the trunk, I'm getting in and this just seems too easy.
"What the fuck are you doing? Where are you taking my daughter? Huh?"
I'm slamming the car door and hitting the automatic locks, Dwayne's running to the car and banging on the hood, I'm fumbling with the keys and he's making me nervous.
"Where are you going with my daughter, you bitch? Get your ass out the goddamn car and answer me! So help me, Dany, I'll whup your Cuban ass if you call yourself leaving me!"
I've got the keys straight and I'm starting up the car and peeling out of the driveway, he woke Simone up and now she's crying in the backseat. Dwayne's chasing the car and I can see him picking up something.he just threw a rock and it hit my passenger's side mirror. I've gotten myself into something seriously bad. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Oh my God, Margo, he's gonna kill me!"
"No he won't, you're safe now."
"He said that he'd whup my Cuban ass if I called myself leaving him."
"Those are just threats, he knows he needs you to survive. He won't harm you."
"You really don't know Dwayne."
"I know that you've been his punching bag for the last 4 years and it's about time you got away."
"I'm so scared to go back out there and I have to go back to work. He chased the car, he broke my mirror, he wants to kill me."
"Dany, I know the type of person you are, you're gonna go back to work because it's your obligation, even though you should just stay here and lay low for awhile. I'll call Hiram and he'll ride back to work with you, when you're ready to leave, call him and he'll come back for you."
"I will. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Dany." ~*~*~*~*~*~ "You sure you're gonna be alright? I don't want that nigger coming down here trying to do anything to you."
"Hiram, you do NOT call him that! I don't care what he's done to me, you do not call him racist slurs! Calling him that insults my child, he is the man that made her and his blood runs through her veins! Never again, Hiram, never again!"
"Damn, I'm sorry."
"I still love him, Hiram, I just can't be with him, but that doesn't give you the right to be racist towards him."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Call me when you get off."
"I will." ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Did you have a good lunch, Mrs. Johnson?"
"It was rather interesting, Dorothy, thank you. Any calls while I was out?"
"Mr. Johnson called a few times, he sounded upset."
"Thank you."
I don't know what my next step is, I don't know what his next step is, Dwayne's unpredictable. I'm trying to think of what I want, I know I want a divorce, but I don't know if that's all I want.
"Where's that bitch? Where's that bitch who stole my daughter?"
Oh God, not now, please, not now.
"Sir, you're going to have to calm down or we'll be forced to call security."
"I don't give a fuck about your security! Where's my wife? Where's that Cuban bitch?"
"Dwayne, what are you doing here?"
"Don't try to fuckin play innocent, Bitch! You know good and damn well why I'm here! You're leaving me? You kidnap my damn daughter? You desert me when you know I need you! Fuck you!"
"Dwayne, please calm down."
"Calm down, hell! If you think what I did to your ass last night was bad, wait until I get my hands on you again.just wait! What the fuck are you doing? Get off me!"
"Sir, you're under arrest."
"You just gon let them take me, Dany?"
"Is this your husband, Ma'am?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to press charges to his admitted domestic abuse?"
"Dany? Dany, Baby." "Yes."
"What? Fuck.Dany!"
"I want to press charges."
"This is bullshit! Dany, come on!"
"I'm sorry Dwayne, but I cant take it any more. I want a divorce."
"I can't believe you're doing this to me!"
"Sir, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."
They're taking Dwayne away and it's so very hard to watch. The man that I was madly in love with-and still am, for the past 12 years, a relationship that seemed all to perfect.just gone. I'll miss it. I'll miss Dwayne, I'll miss our good times, I'll miss what we had, but what I won't miss is the monster that he's become. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Hi Daddy."
"Hi Mo Mo."
"When are you coming home, Daddy?"
"It's hard to say right now, Baby, but I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy, I miss you."
"I miss you too, Baby. Give the phone to your mama."
"Okay Daddy."
I'm taking the phone from Simone and softly running my fingers through her hair as she sits on my lap.
"Hi Dany."
"Hi Dwayne."
"You're looking well."
"You're not looking so bad yourself."
I'm watching Simone press her hand against his on the plastic window that separates us from him. He's in awe of how big she's gotten in the past 3 years, he's missed a lot in her life, but it's all been for the best.
"I'm sorry for all the things that I've done to you."
"I know."
"I'm up for parole soon."
"That's good."
"If I get out.would there be a chance for us again?"
"No, but you'll still be in my heart and my life for the next 13 years."
"I know, I just had to try. I can't believe she's so big."
"Well, she's 5 now and getting smarter and smarter by the day."
"I can tell. She takes after you."
"There's a whole lot of you in her too."
"I love you, Dany."
"I love you too, Dwayne."
"TIME'S UP!"
"We'll see you next week."
"I'll be looking forward to it."
"Mo Mo, want to tell Daddy bye-bye?"
"Bye-bye, Daddy."
"Bye-bye, Mo Mo. Daddy loves you. Be good for Mama."
"I love you too, Daddy. I'll be good."
We're pressing our hands against the glass one last time and it hurts that things had to end this way. He's being led away by a guard and he keeps looking back at us.God knows I love that man, but I had to do what I had to do. And he understands that.
I'm looking in the mirror, trying to figure out what I've done to deserve this sort of treatment. I've given that man nothing but love and support. LOVE AND SUPPORT! And he returns it with a fist to the face or a kick to the stomach; even when I was pregnant with Simone, all he did was attack me. I can't take it anymore. Today is the day. This is the day that Dany Garcia-Johnson, walks away from the crap. This is the day that Dany Garcia- Johnson says, 'enough is enough.' If only I knew how to do that! As I look into the mirror, all I see is the black eye, the swollen jaw, the scratches, and it's horrible. I crawled from underneath Dwayne this morning and limped into the bathroom and here I am, a mess. A big mess, wearing nothing more than his pajama top and bruises, staring into the mirror, pondering my fate.
"Who the fuck told you to claim head of household on the goddamn taxes?"
"Dwayne, I'm the only source of income."
"That supposed to mean something? You tryin to say that I don't bring shit into this house? I'm not the man of my house?"
"No Dwayne, that's not what I'm trying to say at all. I know you try hard to pull your weight around here-"
"Is that what you're trying to say, Dany? Didn't you tell me, when I wanted to pursue my dream of wrestling, that you'd take care of me and that I didn't have to work?"
"Yes, Dwayne, I did."
"Now you tryin to say that I'm not a man?"
"No, Baby, that's not it at all."
"Then what the fuck is it, then? Huh?"
*Smack*
"Huh? *smack* Little Miss Vice President of Financial Affairs at Merril Lynch *smack* You throwin the fact that you got this big ass position in my face? *smack*"
"Dwayne, please! Stop!"
"You want me to stop? *Smack* You can't be the big, bad, bold bitch that you are at work up in here? *Smack*"
He hit me hard, sent me flying to the floor, he stood over me, continuing to swing at my face and body. I tried to slide away from him, but he stayed on me until he heard Simone's cry.
"Fuck!"
"Dwayne please!"
"Don't you shout at me, Bitch! You'd better be lucky that my daughter needs me right now."
He went off to tend to Simone's cries and I laid there on the floor, trying to recuperate from the damage that he did to me physically. I can't take this anymore, I just can't. He came back and saw me on the floor, he picked me up and pushed me against a wall, holding my wrists together tightly.
"You just need to learn to listen to me."
"I do, Baby, I always listen to you."
"No you don't! I didn't ask you to talk.see? Your ass just don't listen!"
Dwayne let me go and slammed his fist into the wall above me, I jumped and started to run away from him. I ran down the hall and he chased me.
"Bring your ass back here! I'm not playing games with you, goddamnit."
I ran into the guest bedroom of our 4 bedroom house and locked the door, I got down in the corner next to the chaise lounge and prayed that he'd just go away. He kicked at the door and banged on it repeatedly.
"Open this fuckin door, Dany! Open this shit now!"
The next thing I knew, he had kicked down the door.his once beautiful brown eyes were filled with anger and hatred. He came towards me and grabbed me from the corner and shook me repeatedly.
"I'm not gonna tell you again, I wont be chasing your ass around MY house, playing these fuckin games!"
"I know.I'm sorry. Please don't hit me."
"Quit beggin, I hate when you do that shit. If I was gonna hit you, your ass would be hit by now."
"Please."
"Shut up and let me look at you. Damn, I got you good. See what happens when you get me mad? You bring this shit on yourself."
"I know. I'm sorry, just."
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"
He kissed my neck and tried to kiss my lacerations, he sat down on the chaise and pulled me on top of him, holding my butt in his hands with his firm grip.
"Dwayne.maybe you should give Simone what she wanted."
"She wanted her teddy bear. Now shut up."
Dwayne unbuttoned his night shirt that I was wearing and started to hold me tightly, I tried to push away from him because I was in too much pain to be intimate.
"Stop it, goddamnit, I'm trying to apologize."
"You don't have to apologize, Honey, but please, just let me lie down."
"See? I'm sick of you trying to control me! Fuck this."
He held my arms tighter above my head, ripped my shirt off and pulled at his shorts. He tore my panties off and forced himself into me, it hurt so bad and I was already in so much pain that I couldn't even cry. Crying would make him angrier and he'd hurt me even more. He humped and groped me and forced me to make love to him, inside I cried, but outside, I tried to be strong. When he was done, he put his nightshirt back on me and we ended up in bed, that's when I woke up and found my way in here. I'm just a mess, sitting on the edge of the tub, crying.blubbering because for almost 12 years, I've taken his abuse, but today, enough is enough. When my daughter can point at my bruises and say 'da da hurt, da da hurt', it's time to move on.
People wonder why I've taken this for so long, and it's not like it's been this way forever. Dwayne had goals, he wanted to be a football player, he tried the draft and that didn't happen, so he tried to play in Canada, he wanted to feel like he accomplished something, but that failed as well. He came back here to Miami and decided to wrestle just like his father and grandfather did, but when I saw him in the ring for the first time and saw all the pain and emotion in his face, I yelled out 'It's okay Dwayne! You don't have to do this! I'll work! I'll take care of us!' and he got out of the ring and said, 'I don't want you to feel like I'm being hurt, but if that's what you want, that's what I'll do.' Since then, I've been the breadwinner in this family. He has his pride and his ego, which can be high at times, and he's tried to find jobs, he worked at a gym until a few years ago when his mother passed. He didn't know what to do with himself, he just got angry and questioned his motives in life and just never wanted to do anything since. He just stayed in the house all day, he'd go to the gym occasionally and come back pumped and pissed. He'd snap for no reason and that's when the abuse started. When Simone came along, he learned to control his anger, but not with me. My friends say that he resents the fact that I have such a high position and he doesn't, but I just say, he's still trying to deal with his mother's loss and Simone's helped him to love again. It's messed up, I know, but I'm a battered woman in a relationship with a 6'4'', 260 lb man.everything I seem to say sounds messed up.
"DANY! Where are you?"
"I'm in the bathroom, Dwayne."
"Hurry up, you're gonna be late for work."
"I will, Baby." ~*~*~*~*~ "Good morning, Dany."
"Good morning, Jennifer."
I'm at the office, with my face plastered with makeup, sunglasses cover up my eye, as well as the hair that I've put in my face. I don't plan to see many clients today, I don't plan to do much.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure."
"Dany, what's with all the make up? He's at it again?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I know I went overboard with the makeup, but I was running late."
"Don't play dumb with me, you know exactly what I'm talking about! How can you let him use you for a punching bag?"
"Now is not the time, nor the place for discussion of my marriage."
"Why wont you leave him?"
"Jennifer, I know you mean well.but.but.never mind. Thank you for your concern."
"Whatever you say, Dany."
"Mrs. Johnson, you have a call on Line 2. It's your sister."
"Thank you, Dorothy."
"Hey Sis."
"Hey Margo"
"What's wrong?"
"I've decided to leave Dwayne."
"Oh, thank God! Thank God! It took forever for you to come to that decision!"
"I know, but I just can't take it anymore. I know he's got a lot of pride and it really hurts it because he's got a wife who's doing all the earning in his family."
"Everything's not about him! Think about yourself, think about your daughter! What good are you to her if you're dead?"
"I know.I know. I'm going to go home on my lunch break and pack, he'll probably be asleep and so will she. I'll just take her and our things and."
"And you come stay with us. We wont mind at all."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. I'll see you then, okay?"
"Okay." ~*~*~*~*~*~ Alls quiet here, there's not the normal blast of his workout music as he lifts weights. He's asleep, just as planned, now all I have to do is get in and out. I'm in Simone's room and she's asleep, I'm caressing her face softly.
"Hi Mami. We're gonna get away from Daddy today."
I'm packing her clothes and her most necessary things and carrying her and them into my and Dwayne's room. He's not in there.something's up.something's definitely wrong. I'm putting her down on the bed and pulling out my suitcase and packing up my things. I don't even care about it all, I'm just taking what I need. I'm carrying her and our things down the stairs and I'm looking around.I still don't see Dwayne. I don't care, this all makes it easier. I'm putting her in her car seat and throwing our suitcases in the trunk, I'm getting in and this just seems too easy.
"What the fuck are you doing? Where are you taking my daughter? Huh?"
I'm slamming the car door and hitting the automatic locks, Dwayne's running to the car and banging on the hood, I'm fumbling with the keys and he's making me nervous.
"Where are you going with my daughter, you bitch? Get your ass out the goddamn car and answer me! So help me, Dany, I'll whup your Cuban ass if you call yourself leaving me!"
I've got the keys straight and I'm starting up the car and peeling out of the driveway, he woke Simone up and now she's crying in the backseat. Dwayne's chasing the car and I can see him picking up something.he just threw a rock and it hit my passenger's side mirror. I've gotten myself into something seriously bad. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Oh my God, Margo, he's gonna kill me!"
"No he won't, you're safe now."
"He said that he'd whup my Cuban ass if I called myself leaving him."
"Those are just threats, he knows he needs you to survive. He won't harm you."
"You really don't know Dwayne."
"I know that you've been his punching bag for the last 4 years and it's about time you got away."
"I'm so scared to go back out there and I have to go back to work. He chased the car, he broke my mirror, he wants to kill me."
"Dany, I know the type of person you are, you're gonna go back to work because it's your obligation, even though you should just stay here and lay low for awhile. I'll call Hiram and he'll ride back to work with you, when you're ready to leave, call him and he'll come back for you."
"I will. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Dany." ~*~*~*~*~*~ "You sure you're gonna be alright? I don't want that nigger coming down here trying to do anything to you."
"Hiram, you do NOT call him that! I don't care what he's done to me, you do not call him racist slurs! Calling him that insults my child, he is the man that made her and his blood runs through her veins! Never again, Hiram, never again!"
"Damn, I'm sorry."
"I still love him, Hiram, I just can't be with him, but that doesn't give you the right to be racist towards him."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Call me when you get off."
"I will." ~*~*~*~*~*~ "Did you have a good lunch, Mrs. Johnson?"
"It was rather interesting, Dorothy, thank you. Any calls while I was out?"
"Mr. Johnson called a few times, he sounded upset."
"Thank you."
I don't know what my next step is, I don't know what his next step is, Dwayne's unpredictable. I'm trying to think of what I want, I know I want a divorce, but I don't know if that's all I want.
"Where's that bitch? Where's that bitch who stole my daughter?"
Oh God, not now, please, not now.
"Sir, you're going to have to calm down or we'll be forced to call security."
"I don't give a fuck about your security! Where's my wife? Where's that Cuban bitch?"
"Dwayne, what are you doing here?"
"Don't try to fuckin play innocent, Bitch! You know good and damn well why I'm here! You're leaving me? You kidnap my damn daughter? You desert me when you know I need you! Fuck you!"
"Dwayne, please calm down."
"Calm down, hell! If you think what I did to your ass last night was bad, wait until I get my hands on you again.just wait! What the fuck are you doing? Get off me!"
"Sir, you're under arrest."
"You just gon let them take me, Dany?"
"Is this your husband, Ma'am?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to press charges to his admitted domestic abuse?"
"Dany? Dany, Baby." "Yes."
"What? Fuck.Dany!"
"I want to press charges."
"This is bullshit! Dany, come on!"
"I'm sorry Dwayne, but I cant take it any more. I want a divorce."
"I can't believe you're doing this to me!"
"Sir, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."
They're taking Dwayne away and it's so very hard to watch. The man that I was madly in love with-and still am, for the past 12 years, a relationship that seemed all to perfect.just gone. I'll miss it. I'll miss Dwayne, I'll miss our good times, I'll miss what we had, but what I won't miss is the monster that he's become. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Hi Daddy."
"Hi Mo Mo."
"When are you coming home, Daddy?"
"It's hard to say right now, Baby, but I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy, I miss you."
"I miss you too, Baby. Give the phone to your mama."
"Okay Daddy."
I'm taking the phone from Simone and softly running my fingers through her hair as she sits on my lap.
"Hi Dany."
"Hi Dwayne."
"You're looking well."
"You're not looking so bad yourself."
I'm watching Simone press her hand against his on the plastic window that separates us from him. He's in awe of how big she's gotten in the past 3 years, he's missed a lot in her life, but it's all been for the best.
"I'm sorry for all the things that I've done to you."
"I know."
"I'm up for parole soon."
"That's good."
"If I get out.would there be a chance for us again?"
"No, but you'll still be in my heart and my life for the next 13 years."
"I know, I just had to try. I can't believe she's so big."
"Well, she's 5 now and getting smarter and smarter by the day."
"I can tell. She takes after you."
"There's a whole lot of you in her too."
"I love you, Dany."
"I love you too, Dwayne."
"TIME'S UP!"
"We'll see you next week."
"I'll be looking forward to it."
"Mo Mo, want to tell Daddy bye-bye?"
"Bye-bye, Daddy."
"Bye-bye, Mo Mo. Daddy loves you. Be good for Mama."
"I love you too, Daddy. I'll be good."
We're pressing our hands against the glass one last time and it hurts that things had to end this way. He's being led away by a guard and he keeps looking back at us.God knows I love that man, but I had to do what I had to do. And he understands that.