Chapter Seventeen

Author's note: Thank you to X-identaty, katie, Tiney1981 and static-disturbed for your reviews. I hope you like the rest of the story! Please keep reading and reviewing! Any comments are very appreciated!

My stories (this one and "As the World Turns" will be updated (hopefully) this weekend at some point. Although, due to working kind of late on Thursday night, my birthday on Friday, (buffygal8880, get it?) and family friends visiting over the weekend, I don't know how much I will be able to get done. Please don't forget to keep the reviews rolling in, it is very appreciated (and makes a great bday giftJ ). Happy reading kids!!

The Bronze was crowded, as usual. It was jammed pack with people Buffy and Xander went to the club without Willow and Cordelia. When Xander called Willow's house, her mother answered and said she was sleeping. Cordelia wasn't at the Bronze because she was spending time with her other friends.

"This place is hopping tonight, isn't it?" Buffy observed.

"Well, the other cool hangouts in Sunnydale are closed for the night." Xander replied sarcastically.

The two found a table and sat at it. They sipped coffees and chatted about everything. They talked about everything from current movies to gossip around school before dancing.

"Xander, this is weird."

"What is?"

"Well, here we are having a good time but where is Willow? Her boyfriend is in the band."

"She's sleeping Buff. I guess this is the first show of Oz's that she has missed since they started to date."

Buffy nodded. "I guess your right."

"Hey guys, where's Willow?" Oz asked when his band took a break from performing.

"She's in dreamland." Buffy said.

"She's slumbering at her house." Xander added.

The three continued to talk for a little while before Oz went back to the stage. Xander and Buffy then exited to begin patrolling.

"I can't believe Wil was a no show tonight," Xander commented to Buffy as they entered one of Sunnydale's finest cemeteries.

"I know, it is weird. Did you try calling her before we left the Bronze?"

"Yeah, her mother said she was still sleeping. "

Buffy sighed as she sat on a tombstone. "She has been so upset by everything with Angel, I don't know how to comfort her."

"Buffy, you are there for her when she needs to talk, there isn't much more you can do beyond that. So she thinks she killed him, so it was technically her fault, she thought she was helping. It's just going to take some time for her to get over what happened, just like it's going to take some time for you to get over loosing Angel."

Buffy looked into the distance. She could see the lights from businesses go off. She stared into the distance.

"Has Oz talked to her lately?" Xander asked.

'He said he talked to her last night and she was sad." Buffy answered.

"Well, I think-" Xander was interrupted by not one but two vamps. One had snuck up behind Buffy while the second one ran past the first and right to Xander.

Buffy meanwhile fought the large vampire who had embraced her. She fought him to the ground and then dusted him. The second vampire was fighting with a struggling Xander on the ground. As he went for Xander's neck Buffy dusted him too.

"Thanks Buff but do you think that you could warn me next time? The dust is all over me."

"Sorry. I will take into consideration all the dustage next time."

After two more sweeps of different areas of town, Buffy walked Xander home. She eventually had found her way to her own home.

After showering and brushing her teeth, Buffy sat at her vanity. She picked up her journal and wanted to write down some thoughts. She opened up the blue velvet covered book. She sighed when there was only one page left. She would have to buy another journal soon. Buffy then put her pen down, push her vanity chair in and walked over to her bed with the book. She lay in bed and began to read the pages.

Tuesday March 18, 1996

WOW! I can not believe what is going on. I was walking out of school with Morgan and Danielle talking about the dance and Tyler a few days ago when this old guy comes out of now where and talks to me about how I have been chosen to kill the vampires?!?!?! I didn't get it. I thought he was one of those scary internet people you hear about on the news. I had no idea what he was talking about. Then, me being the stupid, stupid girl I can be sometimes went with him. Sure enough, we were fighting vampires, real true-life (in a dead sort of way) vampires! This is all way too much for me. What really is even more bogus is that I can't tell anyone about this! Not even Mom (she's a whole other subject…I think she and daddy are going to be getting a divorce soon. I can feel it coming. All they do is argue and-

Buffy had to stop reading that entry. It made her sad to think of her life in LA. That Buffy was so different compared to the Buffy in Sunnydale. LA Buffy was meek and so girly, not that Sunnydale Buffy wasn't girlie, she just got dirty a little bit more now.

Buffy moved on to another entry a few months later.

Thursday January 29th, 1997

So Mom and dad are getting a divorce. As matter a fact, mom and I are moving to a small little town called Sunnydale. This should be great. I am not looking forward to being a sophomore in high school and not having any friends. I guess I can't have any friends anyway, I'm the slayer. No one can know.

Speaking of the slayer thingy, Merrick is dead. Some vampires killed him. I don't really like to think about it, it makes me too sad. I am trying to save all of these people but I couldn't save him. At least in Sunnydale I can put this whole LA thing behind me.

PS- We are also moving to Sunnydale because I sort of, kind of burnt down the gym. It was infested with vampires and stuff, it was my only choice. No one from school got killed, which is a good thing. Of course I can't tell mom why it happened. This Sunnydale place has to get better than this place.

Buffy smiled reading that entry. She was such a naive girl, thinking Sunnydale had to be better than LA. It was better for the sake that she had better friends but the whole slayer thing she could have lived without.

Monday February 5th, 1997

This whole Sunnydale thing is so bogus. I hate this stupid town full of stupid little people. I go to the new high school and figure I can a fresh start. I first met a girl named Cordelia. She was nice, in a stuck up, 'I'm in my own world' sort of way. She is nice enough to except me into her crowd, how mighty precious of her. Anyway, I also met this guy Xander, I think his name was, anyway, and he is so nice! He was kind of flirty with me and found one of my wooden stakes. I convinced him that it is the "in" thing in LA. He also had a friend named Jesse who was equally as nice.

Then there was Willow. She is nice but she is such a geek, I'm not saying this to be mean, it's just what she is. Oddly enough, she is best friends with Xander and Jesse. I think they are the rejects of the school. Actually, Cordelia kindly told me that they were the rejects of the school. If my friends in LA saw the types of people I was hanging out with they-they would-they would be so wrapped up in their own lives that they wouldn't care.

I don't care about what Cordelia Chase thinks of me or says, I really like Willow and Xander and Jesse, they are all very nice.

It's getting late so I guess that's all for-OH! I didn't mention the scary British dude who really freaked me out. On my first day of school I went to the library to pick up my schoolbooks. Once I told the librarian guy my name we got all weird and stuff. He pulled out this really, really old book about, of all things, VAMPIRES! This guy was so freaked me out. Total wiggins. I ran out of there so quickly. Turns out he is my new watcher! I can't believe this is starting again. I hate being me.

Friday February 9th, 1997

I just came back from a night at cool Sunnydale hangout, the Bronze. It actually was pretty cool. It was some club with a bunch of bands and lots of coffee. It was nice to go out and hang with my new friends (sadly minus Jesse of course). This guy keeps on popping up. He's mysterious and only appears at night and sometimes he has useful information for me about the vampires. I have no idea how he knows who I am. His name is Angel. He is such a hunk! Really, he is a babe! He has these dark chocolate eyes and these kissable lips, so cute! But I think he may be a little older than me.

Again, Buffy just smiled. She had so many expectations for Sunnydale. She wanted it to be so different but she was happy with the way it was turning out. Buffy got a tear in her eye as she read the stuff about Angel. She continued onto a more recent entry.

Saturday April 23rd, 1998

What a week from hell, literally. First, I was fighting with Angel and trying to kill him. Then he turned good, again but I still had to send him to hell. Less than ten minutes later he comes back and he's back to how he was before we, yeah. Before that I ran into school and found Kendra lying on the floor, dead because of Drusilla. Anyway, the Giles and Willow were both really hurt and in the hospital and then they are both suddenly better (I honestly thought that Giles, the man that I have come to know as my father figure, was going to die.). Then Willow found one of Ms. Calendar's spells that would make Angel's curse go away but still keep him good and as a vampire, or something. She did the spell without telling anyone. Now Angel is dead, for real. We buried him a few nights ago. I have never cried so much in my entire life as I did when we buried Angel. Grandma and Aunt Emma had both died and of course Jesse, Ms. Calendar and Theresa all have died but I wasn't in love with them, I loved Angel. Nothing will ever bring him back to me. When we buried him, I put the ring he had given me for my birthday (before everything we did) into the casket (Xander and Oz made the casket). The pain hurts so bad. It doesn't ever feel like it is going to stop.

Poor Wil, she feels so badly for what she did. I do feel bad that the spell didn't come out the way that she wanted but I also feel bad because she hasn't been herself. She has so much guilt that I wish I could make go away. She tried to change him and make things better but it didn't work. I understand that. She is still one of my best friends and I still love her and I am so glad she is in my life.

The same thing with Xander. He did get mad at the hospital when he found out that Angel was alive, but he hasn't been mean about the whole Angel think since Angel died. He has been trying to cheer me up and trying to be positive for me. He is my other best friend. Both of them know so much about me and have helped me so much I don't know if I could ever repay them. I love them both more than I could ever begin to say.

I even love Giles. He is such a wise man (of course I would never tell him this to his face). He has opened up his heart to me, almost treating me like a daughter. I mean he treats me better than Hank Summers ever did. I can't believe that I thought he was an old creepy English man.

Buffy smiled as she closed her journal and tucked it into her nightstand. She shut off the light and closed her eyes. She soon fell into her first deep sleep in a long time.