Taunting Angelus

Spike gets even and then some

Angel was worried.

It had been a few days since he had pranked Spike and so far, Spike hadn't pulled a single prank on him.

He had tried to taunt him to get him to spill his plan yesterday, but Spike merely smiled at him and then ignored him.

Angel was sure it meant that whatever was coming, was going to be big.

Spike, on his part, just loved the fact that he had Angel worried.

It was the first part to his revenge.

He had already set up the next stage, now all he had to do was set up the other parts, and figure out a good time to set his trap.

Luckily for him, the day came a few days later.

And it couldn't have been better, from his perspective. Angel had an audience.

True…it was just the people at Wolfram & Hart… but… use what you got, he thought to himself.

He had set the first part of his trap earlier while Angel had still been sleeping, and when Angel came upstairs; he came up roaring in rage.

Spike had emptied out his hair gel and left a note inside the bottle, saying:

I'm sorry but you've reached your monthly poofy

styled hair limit. Please try again in a day or so.

Angel roared into the lobby, to come face-to-face with a group of his staff from Wolfram & Hart, with his hair sticking straight up and out like a shaken troll doll.

Spike smiled with glee, half of his trap had worked like a charm. He had called the associates up and told them that the meeting would take place two hours earlier, insuring he had an audience for his prank. Not to mention, he had quietly and carefully styled Angel's hair into its present wild state while the vampire had been soundly sleeping.

Angel's eyes scanned the crowd and came to rest on Spike, who was lounging against the wall on the far side; he was directly across from Angel.

Gunn, Fred, and Wesley, coming down the stairs, stopped at the balcony and took in the scene below… and promptly fell to their knees laughing.

It was the camel that broke Angel's proverbial back. He vamped out and launched himself across the room at Spike, determined to whip some sense into the boy for such a prank, when he realized, a second too late, that Spike's big prank wasn't finished yet.

In rushing across the room, he had neglected to check to see if any triggers were on the floor, and stepped down hard on the one that Spike had set.

He was snatched up immediately and left to dangle about ten feet above the assembled.

Damn, he thought, he should have known something else was up when Spike hadn't bothered to move from his lounging position; he had merely smiled wickedly at him.

He looked down and found the former vampire laughing his head off at how well his trap had gone off.

Angel sighed.

'Let me down Spike."

"But you look so comfy up there… hanging around… like a giant bat."

Gunn, Fred, and even Wesley were gasping for breath, and Spike's comment didn't help. They were all clutching the floor, fighting to breath in between laughter.

The group of associates, from Wolfram & Hart, was also laughing. Several of the group had been recruited by Spike and they were thrilled that his plan had gone off wonderfully.

"Let me down this instant Spike!"

"I don't know…. you seem awfully perturbed… you might just take it out on me if I let you down."

"Spike!"

Spike tilted his head aside and after flashing a wicked smile, said almost innocently,

"Hey Angelus."

"What Spike?"
"I told you it meant war."

Angel growled.

After a few more minutes of listening to Angel yell at him to let him down before he ripped his throat out… Spike finally pulled out a metal ninja star and tossed it at the rope holding Angel high above the ground.

Angel fell straight down, but was caught as Spike miraculously ended up underneath him and caught him with ease.

After setting him down and unbinding him, Spike quickly moved away, knowing that it was possible that Angelus would lash out at him know that he was free.

Angel sent Spike a look that said 'Run' before closing his eyes.

Spike took the hint, for the moment, and escaped the lobby leaving Angel to deal with his associates.

A few hours later, Angel walked into the office finding Spike and Gunn talking and laughing.

He glared at Spike who blew him a kiss.

Gunn and Spike laughed even harder at that and then went on talking.

Angel, listening in, heard them mention something about Spike's favorite, Manchester United, and some arcade came called Final Fantasy Four.

He rolled his eyes and went to the fridge, pulling out a bottle of blood.

He was interrupted from his task by Fred, who came in and hugged him.

Then she took that vial and put it back in the fridge.

When he was about to ask her why? She stalled him by pointing at Spike and miming that it was his special blood hidden so Spike wouldn't do any more tricks on it.

Angel nodded understanding and took the vial of blood that she had grabbed from the fridge.

He heated it up and then walked into the lobby area, sipping the blood.

After downing the lot, he went to put the bottle on the table, when he realized that after taking two steps, he couldn't move.

Fred came by and took the bottle from him, saying, "I'll take this for you."

She walked toward the back where there was a kitchen.

Angel tried to call out to her to tell her that something was wrong, but his mouth didn't open and no words came out.

He looked around the room and saw that Spike and Gunn were now giggling about something… and as Spike gave him a glance and then winked… he was sure that it was about him.

Damn… he had fallen for another one of Spike's pranks.

He had told himself to watch out… that it might not be over after the episode earlier this evening, but he hadn't watched out enough.

"Well… what do we have here?"

"Look's like a Statue of Angelus."

They both chuckled.

"That paralyzing potion worked a treat."

"Sure did… this is why I like my suppliers. Little cost and perfect results."

"And want to see one of the best parts?"

"What's that?"

"He's pose-able," Spike said as he grabbed Angel's arm and moved it up and then bent his knees down until Angel was kneeling before him.

"It's good that you've finally learned your place," he told Angel.

Gunn laughed before bumping him out of the way.

"No… it's more like. 'You are the greatest in the world Gunn, and I, in all my vampiric power, am in no way superior to the wiles of you. I must bow before you, oh mightiest of kings upon earth.'"

Gunn looked up to see Spike's expression.

Spike rolled his eyes at him before calling out,

"Come on Fred, stop hiding. He's gonna be stuck like this for a few hours now. Come and play and stop being such a sap."

Fred stuck her head around the corner.

"A… Are you sure?"

"Yep."

"Well… alright."

Fred came out of the back room and unbent Angel's legs and reposed Angel's arms.

When she was done, Gunn and Spike took one look at him and burst out laughing.

And then they fell on the floor as Fred got behind him and started singing, while making Angel move to the song.

When they could talk again, Spike could only mutter one phase.

"Do it again."

Fred laughed once before complying.

She gripped under Angel's arms and sang,

"I'm a little teapot… short and stout.

Here is my handle… here is my spout.

When I get all steamed up hear me pout.

Tip… me over and pour me out."

The boys burst out laughing again.

"You know… I think that's the best I've ever heard my ex-grandsire sing in decades."

The group as a whole burst out laughing, ignoring Angel's evil glare.

They continued to make Angel bend to their will, putting him in various poses and taking pictures of him so they could show them off later as well as use them for bribery tactics.

They had fun until Wesley and Lorne strolled in.

"What the bloody hell are you three doing?"

Spike, Fred, and Gunn stopped midway through making a pose and turned quickly to face the brassed off ex-watcher.

"What the hell is this? Don't all speak up at once."

"Well… see… what we were doing was…"

"Yes?"
"See Wes… it's like this. We were..."

"I can't believe you've stooped yourself low enough to join them on this Winifred."

Fred squirmed and let out a low whimper that only Gunn and Spike could hear at the use of her full name.

"No need to call her out Wes. We're all guilty."

Wesley turned his icy glare upon Gunn.

"I wasn't talking to you yet Charles… but you can assure yourself I will get to you in a moment."

Spike opened his mouth to say something when Wesley interrupted him,

"I really don't want to hear it William. You are all in enough trouble as it is… I'd say your best bet is to leave and be gone before whatever you've done to Angel wears off. It will wear off, right?"

They all nodded silently.

Gunn, Spike, and Fred all looked at each other like naughty children.

And then took off quickly and silently, bolting through the front doors past the bewildered Lorne.

Outside, the hotel they all took a deep breath.

"Okay… when did Wesley get stones? Cause even I don't want to mess with him right now."

"You might have short circuited something when you strung him up Spike."

The reminder set Spike and Gunn off, chuckling.

"Oh… I didn't mean… " Fred realized what she had said, and then burst out giggling at it too.

"So… now that we've been put out for the time being…. What should we do?"

They all looked at one another before Spike and Gunn said,

"Go clubbing?"

Fred shook her head, but as she had nothing else to do, and wanted to be far away from Angel tonight, she nodded her head and looped her arms through the boys as they headed off for Spike's car to drive to the club on the farthest side of town, to give themselves the biggest distance between them and Angel.