Chapter 21         

Author's note: I wanted to thank sandy-eco, jcangel, and X-identaty for their feedback and great reviews, thanks guys, you rock! I really appreciate the feedback, especially since things are not going well right now at school. It makes me smile to know that there are people out there actually enjoying my work! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.  There will be one more chapter, an epilogue. Also, as always I own no one in the Buffy world.

        The sky was a bright shade of baby blue. There were no signs of clouds anywhere. Golden rays of the warm sunshine shone down from the sky and hit the courtyard at Sunnydale High School. "How was your weekend?" Xander asked Buffy the Monday morning after Halloween. Xander had gone away with Cordelia to her family's house and was not around to hear the exciting news about Angel.

        "It was long, too long. Xander, Angel is a live," Buffy said looking at the ground.

        "What? That sounds like crazy talk. Are you having your dreams again?" Xander questioned as he sat next to Buffy on the bench.   

        "Yeah, I can imagine how that sounds. He showed up at my house Friday night."

        "How can a vampire come back from the dead? Did someone raise him?" Buffy shock her head.

         "No, apparently Willow did a spell about six months ago and poof, he's back. He's alive."

         "I wouldn't call being a vampire being a live. There's that whole lack of breathing thing and no suntans." Xander tried to joke.

         "I know, but he's a live," Buffy paused for a moment before she continued.   "Xander, he's human."

         "What? Dead boy isn't dead any more? I don't get it."

        "Neither do I. He is living and breathing and has a heartbeat."

        Before Xander could get another word in, Scott approached him and Buffy. "Hey, hope I'm not interrupting anything," Scott said as he bent down to kiss Buffy's cheek. He had called Buffy several times over the weekend but Dawn had told him that Buffy was asleep or out with Willow or just not around.

        Buffy knew what she wanted to say to Scott, she had wanted to say it for a while. She just didn't know how to say it until that time. On that beautiful Monday morning, she was ready. "No, you're not interrupting anything," Buffy paused for a moment before directing her attention towards Xander. "Xander, would you mind meeting me in the library before we go to class? I would like to talk to Scott about something."

        "Sure Buff, I'll see you in a bit." Xander said as he picked up his backpack and began to walk to the library.

         "So you wanted a little alone time?" Scott asked moving closer to Buffy. He put his arm around Buffy as she twitched a bit. "Is everything okay with you?" Buffy sighed. She had to say what she was thinking then, otherwise the words would never come to her head again.

         "Scott, you are a great guy. I like you, a lot, you're a good friend." As Buffy began to talk, Scott took his arm from around Buffy and placed it by his side. He looked at the ground as she continued talking to him. He knew what was coming. He knew eventually they would have this talk. "I don't think this is going to work out. I have some things going on in my life right now. I'm confused about a lot of things and I really need some time."

        "I can give you time. Just tell me how much time you need. Buffy, I'll wait for you. I really like you. I-I think I may even love you," Scott admitted as he knelt in front of the bench that Buffy was sitting on.

        Buffy smiled. She was touched. "Scott, I will always like you as a friend, I just don't want to be in a relationship now and I don't know when I will want to be in one. I do care about you, but this isn't working out. I'm sorry. We can still be friends and hang out together and do things together." Scott nodded his head. He loved Buffy. He always knew that she didn't love him. She always seemed distant and distracted. She never really focused on him. Scott thought that he could make Buffy love him. He now saw that he couldn't. There was nothing to make Buffy love him. "Yeah, friends, right. I have to get going; class is going to start, well, in fifteen minutes. I-I have to go. I'll talk to you later," Scott said as he walked away from Buffy. Buffy watched as Scott walked away. She felt bad that Scott was feeling so sad but at the same time, there was nothing she could do. She didn't want to lead him on any more; it wasn't right or fair to him. There was another whole side to her that Scott just didn't know and could never know.

        Thanksgiving had come and gone. It was very busy in the Summers' household. Joyce, Buffy and Dawn hosted dinner and invited Willow and Xander's families as well as Giles. Joyce wanted to invite Angel but Buffy refused. She still had not seen him since Halloween weekend. She didn't feel like she was ready to face him.

        The weekend following Thanksgiving, Buffy walked over to Crawford Street. She was ready. The sun was still out but it was getting ready to set. The sky would soon open with bright oranges and reds. Buffy stopped as she stared at the old mansion. It was no longer old and fragile. It was remodeled and quite beautiful. The outside was washed and now clean. New windows were installed. From the front of the house, Buffy saw solid colored curtains in the windows. Flowers surrounded most of the front lawn and led up to the front door. A porch was in the process of being built.

        Buffy made her way to the back of the house. Irises grew all around, like Angel told her weeks before. Buffy spotted Angel sitting in a chair at a table in the side yard. The once dark area was now quite bright. The ground that was once cemented was now grass in some areas. Angel's back was towards hers as she watched him as he read. She quietly approached him.

        "Is it a good book?" She asked.

        Angel was surprised to see her standing before him. "Yeah, it's pretty good. What brings you by?" He asked putting the novel away.

        "Wow, you're very to the point. Why are you all moody?"

        "Yeah, sorry, I haven't seen you for three weeks; I was kind of thinking that it was random that you stopped by."

        "Angel, I-"

        "Buffy, don't even try it, please. I realize that you have a life and it went on after I died. It was selfish of me to think that you wouldn't move on. You're beautiful and young and I don't know why I thought your life would stop after I died. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just wish that things would go back to the way they were."

        Buffy was confused. "Angel, it did go on after you died. I loved you with all of my heart and soul. I did date again, but that wasn't because I forgot you or wanted to move on, it was because I had to. I had to move on. Now you're here and I am ecstatic about you being back. You are back in my life, alive!"

        "That's great Buffy but like you said, you've moved on. You have a whole new life now. I realize that six months is a long time."

        "It's not all that new. There was just Scott, but we broke up. I couldn't be with him anymore."

        Angel got up and got serious. He began walking slowly over to Buffy. He was concerned. "Did he ever hurt you or anything like that?"

        Buffy shock her head. "No, he was really good and sweet to me but I couldn't be with him when my heart was telling me no. My heart doesn't love him," she explained as she walked towards him. She touched his check. "My heart is telling me I love you."

        Angel looked directly into the setting sun. He wanted to do nothing more hold her in his arms but he couldn't, at least not at that time. He calmly pulled out another chair and said, "Please sit down, I think we need to talk."