I have a migraine. A really bad one. Yet, I type [ who cares if I can barely see what im typing?]. I'm strange like that.
Your reviews are wonderful. They really are, I love knowing what you think of the story.
I'm going to try to get it all done by Sunday; hopefully I will.
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Greg was tempted to turn his music up when he heard footsteps in the lab, but he decided it'd probably be petty. Over the last week, everyone had either been ignoring him, or were too wrapped up in there own stuff to be bothered about him.
Except Grissom. They'd had a fore filling conversation, which mainly revolved around metaphors; but Greg assumed that he was refereeing to disabilities in the workplace. Well; he hoped that's what it was. Greg understood most deep conversation, but with Grissom, terms got slightly…abstract, and a conversation could leave your mind spinning for a while.
…And Sara. It seemed to depend what her caseload was; and how much caffeine had been drank. She went between being depressed; and she often got tearful when he was near. He felt sad that he made her feel that way. But on other days she was happy and upbeat – like before. But at least Greg had some knowledge of what was going on in her mind; she'd actually spoken to him.
Nick on the other hand, he seemed very distant. But Greg knew that wasn't just him – Sara also mention he seemed pre-occupied. She mentioned he had a couple of rough cases, but she seemed uneasy talking about it. Greg had dropped the subject.
Greg was still not speaking to Warrick, but he knew things would eventually work out for the best; they always did. He knew they'd start talking again, it probably just would take a while.
Cath; another distant one. She always seemed, well, pre-occupied, but unlike Nick, she only seemed distant when she was around him. Greg wondered if she still blamed herself; he told her not too. But over time he had realised, no matter what you say, you cant dictate others feelings.
"I heard about you and Warrick, " she said softly, Greg span round on his chair to acknowledge her presence. He rarely left that room if he could.
It felt safe; it hadn't felt that way for a while – the explosion left his nerves unsettled, and his feelings about the lab mixed.
But it felt safe now; he could make anyone leave; unlike the break room. And here, he always had the pretence of 'being too busy to talk.'
Greg sighed, and decided he better answer her question, he was appreciatory that he didn't receive many insistent "are you ok's" – and he wasn't about to provoke one.
"That was over a week ago. I'm glad you responded so promptly," he snapped sarcastically. He couldn't help it – he's felt so down recently. He hated the way people's attitude toward him shifted – he needed stability – and if shouting at them would eventually produce an uncaring, but constant, response; so be it.
Caths felt the muscles in her jaw tighten. She didn't want to be another 'Warrick' – she didn't want to shout at Greg. "Greg, you gotta let this go." She said caringly.
"Why?" He he threw back – he was tired of being told how to react.
"Just because you're sick doesn't mean you cant avoid the issue." She said, raising her voice slightly, and placing her hands on her hips, "you got to deal with this!"
"Your avoiding the issue. You all do. You all avoid me;…"
"…that's not fair Greg!" Cath interrupted.
"Not fair?" Greg exclaimed, "Not fair is when you realise you've got to stop typing because your hands are shaking so bad you cant hit the keys; or when people stare at you because you cant keep still…" His voice was full of anger, but his voice trailed off.
They both knew where his statement was going, and it created a stunned silence from the pair. The last time they shared this amount of silence together was in the hospital; when Cath had told Greg that the explosion was her fault.
"Not fair is having what I've got." He finished sadly.
There was another short silence before he continued.
"Warrick will survive being ignored, I however wont survive thi…"
"Stop it Greg." Cath yelled, not wanting to hear him complete the sentence.
"Then tell me Cath, why do you avoid me? You seem to palm all your case loads of on other lab techs when you can, and don't try to tell me its because you're trying to limit my case load." He said, with brutal honesty.
"Because Greg, you're not the only one who has problems." Cath forced; she really didn't want to tell him. It felt to selfish to.
"Problems?" Greg said, curiosity in his tone. For a moment he was worried; did Cath have something wrong with her? He suppressed the urge of getting up and moving closer to her.
Give her time. Let her speak.
She sighed. She knew if she left the conversation now, Greg would most likely not talk to her for a while at least. "The women in my family have a history of Cancer, k? You just, you…" She stumbled over her words.
"I'm like the grim spectre of death." He said, completing her sentence; a little less eloquently than how she would have phrased it.
"Nice to know when people look at me, they see the shortcomings in themselves." Greg said grimly.
"I didn't mean it like that Greg; but you asked a question, and I gave you an honest answer." Cath said, trying to defend herself, it was hard trying to do that, while simultaneously trying not to offend Greg.
Greg stood up; and walked to Cath.
She slightly winced as he came closer; and scalded herself for doing so.
Luckily; Greg didn't notice.
"Cath…this is hard for me. You know what I live for at the moment? The moment I wake up. That's the only time I don't 'feel' or remember I have anything wrong with me. I don't have a guide telling me how to act; I don't know the right things to say to people…." She cut him off.
"…and people don't know the right things to say to you Greg. I know, this is bad for you, but it is bad for other people. You don't know what to say, and neither does Warrick." Cath wondered if she was destined to fix things between CSI's.
"I'll tell him he's forgiven Cath, he always was; there's not really anything to forgive." Greg felt relieved that he could admit that.
She smiled lightly, "Good. That's what I wanted to here," she said, her tone now lighter.
"…but Cath, just because people are having a rough time with me doesn't mean that I have to forgive every bad thing they say." Greg reminded/
"I know Greg, I know." She understandingly.
"…And Cath?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry to hear about your family. But I can't help you. I can't help you come to terms with anything; and I cant be sorry that my condition upsets you." Greg said, with honesty. He didn't say it to be cruel, but to be truthful.
She smiled weakly.
"I know Greg…"
'I know'
Your reviews are wonderful. They really are, I love knowing what you think of the story.
I'm going to try to get it all done by Sunday; hopefully I will.
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Greg was tempted to turn his music up when he heard footsteps in the lab, but he decided it'd probably be petty. Over the last week, everyone had either been ignoring him, or were too wrapped up in there own stuff to be bothered about him.
Except Grissom. They'd had a fore filling conversation, which mainly revolved around metaphors; but Greg assumed that he was refereeing to disabilities in the workplace. Well; he hoped that's what it was. Greg understood most deep conversation, but with Grissom, terms got slightly…abstract, and a conversation could leave your mind spinning for a while.
…And Sara. It seemed to depend what her caseload was; and how much caffeine had been drank. She went between being depressed; and she often got tearful when he was near. He felt sad that he made her feel that way. But on other days she was happy and upbeat – like before. But at least Greg had some knowledge of what was going on in her mind; she'd actually spoken to him.
Nick on the other hand, he seemed very distant. But Greg knew that wasn't just him – Sara also mention he seemed pre-occupied. She mentioned he had a couple of rough cases, but she seemed uneasy talking about it. Greg had dropped the subject.
Greg was still not speaking to Warrick, but he knew things would eventually work out for the best; they always did. He knew they'd start talking again, it probably just would take a while.
Cath; another distant one. She always seemed, well, pre-occupied, but unlike Nick, she only seemed distant when she was around him. Greg wondered if she still blamed herself; he told her not too. But over time he had realised, no matter what you say, you cant dictate others feelings.
"I heard about you and Warrick, " she said softly, Greg span round on his chair to acknowledge her presence. He rarely left that room if he could.
It felt safe; it hadn't felt that way for a while – the explosion left his nerves unsettled, and his feelings about the lab mixed.
But it felt safe now; he could make anyone leave; unlike the break room. And here, he always had the pretence of 'being too busy to talk.'
Greg sighed, and decided he better answer her question, he was appreciatory that he didn't receive many insistent "are you ok's" – and he wasn't about to provoke one.
"That was over a week ago. I'm glad you responded so promptly," he snapped sarcastically. He couldn't help it – he's felt so down recently. He hated the way people's attitude toward him shifted – he needed stability – and if shouting at them would eventually produce an uncaring, but constant, response; so be it.
Caths felt the muscles in her jaw tighten. She didn't want to be another 'Warrick' – she didn't want to shout at Greg. "Greg, you gotta let this go." She said caringly.
"Why?" He he threw back – he was tired of being told how to react.
"Just because you're sick doesn't mean you cant avoid the issue." She said, raising her voice slightly, and placing her hands on her hips, "you got to deal with this!"
"Your avoiding the issue. You all do. You all avoid me;…"
"…that's not fair Greg!" Cath interrupted.
"Not fair?" Greg exclaimed, "Not fair is when you realise you've got to stop typing because your hands are shaking so bad you cant hit the keys; or when people stare at you because you cant keep still…" His voice was full of anger, but his voice trailed off.
They both knew where his statement was going, and it created a stunned silence from the pair. The last time they shared this amount of silence together was in the hospital; when Cath had told Greg that the explosion was her fault.
"Not fair is having what I've got." He finished sadly.
There was another short silence before he continued.
"Warrick will survive being ignored, I however wont survive thi…"
"Stop it Greg." Cath yelled, not wanting to hear him complete the sentence.
"Then tell me Cath, why do you avoid me? You seem to palm all your case loads of on other lab techs when you can, and don't try to tell me its because you're trying to limit my case load." He said, with brutal honesty.
"Because Greg, you're not the only one who has problems." Cath forced; she really didn't want to tell him. It felt to selfish to.
"Problems?" Greg said, curiosity in his tone. For a moment he was worried; did Cath have something wrong with her? He suppressed the urge of getting up and moving closer to her.
Give her time. Let her speak.
She sighed. She knew if she left the conversation now, Greg would most likely not talk to her for a while at least. "The women in my family have a history of Cancer, k? You just, you…" She stumbled over her words.
"I'm like the grim spectre of death." He said, completing her sentence; a little less eloquently than how she would have phrased it.
"Nice to know when people look at me, they see the shortcomings in themselves." Greg said grimly.
"I didn't mean it like that Greg; but you asked a question, and I gave you an honest answer." Cath said, trying to defend herself, it was hard trying to do that, while simultaneously trying not to offend Greg.
Greg stood up; and walked to Cath.
She slightly winced as he came closer; and scalded herself for doing so.
Luckily; Greg didn't notice.
"Cath…this is hard for me. You know what I live for at the moment? The moment I wake up. That's the only time I don't 'feel' or remember I have anything wrong with me. I don't have a guide telling me how to act; I don't know the right things to say to people…." She cut him off.
"…and people don't know the right things to say to you Greg. I know, this is bad for you, but it is bad for other people. You don't know what to say, and neither does Warrick." Cath wondered if she was destined to fix things between CSI's.
"I'll tell him he's forgiven Cath, he always was; there's not really anything to forgive." Greg felt relieved that he could admit that.
She smiled lightly, "Good. That's what I wanted to here," she said, her tone now lighter.
"…but Cath, just because people are having a rough time with me doesn't mean that I have to forgive every bad thing they say." Greg reminded/
"I know Greg, I know." She understandingly.
"…And Cath?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry to hear about your family. But I can't help you. I can't help you come to terms with anything; and I cant be sorry that my condition upsets you." Greg said, with honesty. He didn't say it to be cruel, but to be truthful.
She smiled weakly.
"I know Greg…"
'I know'