A/N: Wow, it's been a while hasn't it? Sorry I haven't updated in over a month, I just was not feeling inspired. But now that my creative juices are flowing I will now be able to give you this new installment of Love and Death of The Past. Thank you for being so patient and I hope you enjoy this chapter. There is a section in bold lettering, and that represents a memory/dream.

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun.

__________________________

~The Love and Death Of the Past~

~Chapter 5 – Haunted~

__________________________

August 2003

Millie sighed complacently as she walked into her apartment. Meryl was sitting on the couch, a stack of paperwork on the table in front of her. Meryl's younger sister was tending to her, while her brother and mother had both went back to their hotel room. The family had decided that one person would look after Meryl a day just to make sure that she didn't strain herself (to which Meryl highly objected, she could take care of herself after all.)

Right now it was Kirei's turn to watch over the 26-year-old until Millie came home. At the sound of the door closing behind her, Kirei turned towards her from her seat on the couch. In Kirei's lap, not to Millie's surprise, was another stack of paperwork. It was obvious that Meryl had put her to the task of going over paper work with her.

"I guess it's time for me to leave now huh?" Kirei asked as she set her stack of paper work on the coffee. Meryl smiled at her little sister before turning towards Millie. She was waiting for her to ask the question that she normally asked when her family members were about to leave. However, Millie noticed the look in Meryl's eyes. It was almost as if she were pleading to her. Tilting her head to the side and smiling slightly Millie gestured to the door.

"I would ask you if you wanted to stay for dinner, but after what happened at the pub I think it would be best for you to go home while its still light outside. I'll see you later." Millie said complacently. Meryl stared at her friend wide-eyed for a moment, before smiling at her gratefully.

"Bye Kirei, tell mom and Eric that I said hi." Meryl commented before going back to her paperwork. Millie smiled, she just knew that her friend wanted to ask her something. Kirei nodded obediently before walking towards the door and grabbing her coat. "See ya." And with that she walked out of the apartment shutting the door behind her.

Millie looked at her roommate expectantly, before setting her briefcase down next to the couch. Meryl however seemed to have her eyes glued to her paperwork, but she wasn't doing anything. Sighing Millie walked over to the couch and plopped down next to her friend.

"What's wrong Meryl?" Millie inquired gently. She could not help but notice that her friends nerves seemed to be rattled lately. And it all happened after Vash left the apartment that day. Was it possible that he was the reason she seemed a little withdrawn lately? Meryl glanced towards Meryl before shaking her head.

"It's too over-whelming." She answered, her voice shaking slightly. Millie raised an eyebrow before letting loose a long sigh.

"You still haven't told him have you?" Millie asked in return, having a feeling that Vash was what she was worrying so much about. Meryl looked up at her friend and shook her head slightly. There was a long extremely uncomfortable silence before Meryl spoke up.

"I won't tell him. I won't tell him because I see the way he looks at me. It's so completely one-sided it's not even funny." Millie frowned. Meryl was so scared to tell Vash one simple thing it was so completely and utterly appalling. Why couldn't she just be strong and march up to him and tell him how she felt? It would be like all those other times when she would tell him that he was a complete pervert and an idiot and-

This wasn't like those times. Millie knew that it was just so much easier to degrade someone than it was for one person to tell another that they loved them. Nodding slowly, Millie offered her friend a cheerful smile and clapped her hands in front of her.

"I ran into him today. He asked how you were doing." Meryl looked at her friend and then shook her head slowly. Of course Vash would ask about her, they were only comrades for how long? But the thought about Vash actually caring about her well-being was extremely appealing. Yes, Meryl liked the thought of it a lot.

' So he stayed after all.' Meryl thought. While Meryl was deep in thought, Millie had crept into the kitchen to see what to make Meryl for dinner, however she stopped short as she reached refrigerator. Closing her eyes slowly she thought about the affect that Vash had on her when he suddenly waltzed back into her life as well.

She didn't let anyone else know, but she was tearing up inside. Because with Vash came the lingering presence of the one that she had loved so much as well.

And Millie knew that no matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to banish the hurt that lingered within her heart ever since the day he died.

______________________

Vash sighed as finished his second bottle of beer. Ever since he arrived in this town everything seemed to be going wrong. People from his past just suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and on top of that he had promised one of them that he would stay for her. Whatever caused him to promise Meryl was beyond him.

Perhaps it was the look in her eyes when she asked him to stay. She had looked so meek, desperate and vulnerable even, and something inside of him just could not tell her that he would not be able to stay. It was definitely something in her eyes.

Then again Meryl was his friend and it had been forever since they had seen each other and perhaps she just wanted to catch up on old times. After all they did get along fairly well during the length of the time they were traveling together, well, when Meryl wasn't yelling or beating up on him.

In truth Vash had to admit to himself that he missed the petite woman, and he did think of both Millie and Meryl a whole lot. He even spoke of the two women fondly around his brother.

After ordering another beer, Vash thought back to the problem of his brother.  Vash had left for work that morning so that they could eat and have enough money to stay in the apartment that lived in. When he returned home from work that day his brother was gone and his apartment was completely ransacked. All that was left of Knives was one simple note.

Placing his hands into his pocket he pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper and looked at it with disapproving eyes. Opening it up Vash read the five words that had sent him searching for his brother, and leaving him questioning everything his brother was. Those five simple words that were plaguing him every time he tried to sleep.

Vash opened the folded piece of paper and stared at his brother's neat yet jagged handwriting, wondering where he could be as he read those five simple words that had surprising caused him to wonder around Gunsmoke once again in search of him.

Vash took a large gulp of his beer, tasting the bitterness of it against his taste buds. He really did not know what he was going to do; after all he did promise Meryl that he would stay for a while, and he knew that his brother could wait a little bit longer.

Vash closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, thinking about how much longer he was going to be staying in Meryl's hometown. It had been about a week since he had visited her, and perhaps she would appreciate it if he stopped by, just to visit.

'It would be nice to visit Meryl again.' Vash thought, as he pictured her bright blue-gray eyes, and her smiling face. Under the circumstances that they had seen each other before it hadn't been the best reunion situation, so perhaps it would be different now that it was one week later.

Nodding slowly, Vash paid for his drinks, stuffed the note in his pocket and walked out the door. Besides he really did need to apologize to Meryl's family for the situation that they found him in a week earlier.

___________________

His gray eyes were watching her patiently, as if waiting for her to say something. It must have been odd, to suddenly see him standing there, waiting for her to make a move. The irreparable tension continued between them as she pulled back the safety on her assault rifle, just waiting, watching to see if anyone would make a move.

It hurt her beyond repair to see him act as such, will such calmness, as though he weren't afraid to die. It was as though someone had just taken away his will to live. But only moments before had told her, he had said that he was willing to die for her, to die by her hand. That was what had hurt her.

If she were able to love him so desperately, so completely, then why was it she was willing to take away his life without any sign of remorse? Because she needed this. She needed to know that he cared for her, that he loved her, and yet she knew that he didn't. He cared for her body yes, but there was someone else who was more important to him, someone else who meant the world to him.

She would be the one to die next. Though, the thought of her not being able to be with the man that she thought she loved so utterly and completely, tore at her heart. Now she was standing there, a gun pointed at his chest ready to kill him. And there, he simply watched her with saddened eyes.

She could not bare to look at him anymore, but she could not turn away. She loved him so much that she needed to hear him say those four fatal words, just so she would feel all right after she killed him. She kept her facial expression as cold and emotionless as possible, but by the way he was looking at her, she could tell that she was wearing her emotions right on her sleeve.

Narrowing her eyes, she knew that she had to get rid of him now. Otherwise she would not have the heart to do it anymore. She was supposed to be his and no one else's. Leaning forward, she pushed the muzzle of the gun into his abdomen and placed her lips upon his gently. He responded, much like she knew he would, before probing her mouth with his tongue.

 It was amazing how desperate she looked when she pushed herself against him to deepen the kiss. It was these kinds of things that she lived for, just so she could be with him, just because he made her feel complete. But in all actuality there was still a piece missing, and she didn't exactly understand.

His fingers found there way into her hair, tangling themselves into her long silky black tendrils. She pulled her head back, only to deepen the kiss, before pulling back momentarily to look into her glossy green eyes. She seemed to have noticed the warmth that left her mouth, for she suddenly focused on the man in front of her, who wore a defiant smirk upon his face.

She had allowed him to get to her. Pushing away from him, she aimed her assault rifle at his chest once more, a glare apparent on her face. He stood completely still that defiant smirk still upon his face.

"I would die for you, you know. If your wish really is to kill me, than I suggest that you do so now. I can't stand to see the regret swirling around in your eyes."

"I won't regret a moment of this. You should know that." He tore his gaze away from her to look around his office one last time. He knew that she was going to kill him, and he would not be able to stall any longer. His gaze landed on a single picture on the wall, of him, his daughter, and his beloved wife. He had not been faithful to his wife, not in the least, but for some reason he did not seem to care.

His wife knew that he loved her and that was all that mattered. Despite the fact that he had slept with another woman, he had continued to love her unconditionally and nothing would ever change that. His heart belonged to her and only her, even if his life no belonged to another.

Closing his eyes, he turned back towards the young woman in front of him, waiting for her to kill him. He knew that he deserved this, and she knew that he wanted this. He had tainted everyone close to him, and used them of his own accord, not even thinking about how they would feel. It didn't matter to him before, but it mattered to him now.

The woman who was standing in front of him, waiting and wanting to see him executed was hurt beyond all belief because he could never love her. He had tainted her heart and soul when he had first started sleeping with her. He had made her think that he loved her, and now he seemed to regret it. But the fact was he couldn't. He never wanted to die with regrets, so he chose to just wash them all away, and say that what he did was right.

And that's just what he would do. She could see the conflicting emotions pass over his face, and she knew at once that he was thinking his life over. She noticed that most people did these thinks when they were on the brink of death, but she shouldn't have been the one to care. She had in fact killed people without a second thought, but now she was taking forever to kill him.

It was because she loved him. She loved him beyond a doubt, so she was having trouble killing him. But no more. After a second of gathering her wits about her, she spoke, her cold emotionless voice ricocheting off of the walls around her.

"All I wanted to know, was if I ever had a place in your heart or not. Did you ever love me?" Her voice did not betray her as she thought it would. In fact she knew that she had kept her head about herself. In the past when she would ask him if he loved her, she would be on the verge of tears and her voice would crack horribly. But instead of answering he would always kiss her, as if to tell her that he did, but he wouldn't dare speak those words aloud. Shaking her head slightly to rid herself of the memory she looked at his face and into his deep gray liquid pools of his. Yes, she definitely wanted him dead.

"I could never be able to love you. I could love your body, but never you. My heart was not mine to give away, it belongs to my wife and my daughter, and only to them."

Her hands clenched the rifle tightly her knuckles turning stark white. So it was true then, he never loved her. Closing her eyes she blinked a couple of tears back, before speaking to him once more.

"So you never loved me?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly. She could see the pain look on his face as she spoke, realization hitting her hard. He had cared for her, but he never loved her. But that just wasn't enough, she needed his love, but he wasn't the one who could give it away.

"I don't love you." He stated quietly, softly. Those were the four words that she had wanted to hear. He didn't love her. It was as though those four words had made everything final. And finally she had had enough.

So with that, she pulled the trigger.

________________________________

Yuki sat up in her bed, sweat pouring down the sides of her face. She was thinking of it again. Ever since she had found out that his daughter was still alive she dreaming about how he had told her that he did not love her. How he never loved her. She was in truth simply his fuck buddy. He loved her body yes, but never her.

Rolling over in her bed she faced her wall, staring at its blank empty whiteness. Everything around her seemed to reflect how she felt inside. Closing her eyes gently she cursed herself for thinking back on the occasion. It was enough that she had to deal with Meryl, but on top of that she had to deal with running a drug ring (how sophisticated) and an extremely moody man by the name of Knives.

She knew that Knives had information on the girl, but for some strange reason he would not give any of it to her, all because she had decided not to bring him her eyes. He was definitely a sick and twisted man. But he intrigued her beyond imagination. It was definitely his eyes that had caught her attention. His beautiful gorgeous blue eyes that held so much turmoil and emotion in them they could tell a life story.

But he was still an arrogant prick and she would forever more hate him for the way that he had spoken to her earlier that week. He was incompetent and when she was finished with the murder of Meryl than she would order him to be killed.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she growled slightly. Picking up a gold watch on her table she looked at the time and growled once more. Three o'clock in the morning was not the best time to test her patience. Throwing the sheets off of her, she walked over to the bench at the end of her bed and threw her black robe over her nude body and opened the door.

Standing outside of her door was Collins, and Miranda. Glaring at the two for interrupting her thoughts, she motioned them into her room and slammed the door behind her.

"What the hell do you two want now?" She asked, her voice gruff. It was apparent to two newcomers that she had just woken up moments before they had arrived (hence her annoyed mood) so they decided that it would be best if they were to tread softly around her. After all it wasn't the best of news that they had come to bring her either. They were both sure that she would be pissed no matter how much they tried to sugarcoat the situation.

"Obviously we are here to talk to you." Collins said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Yuki, being the perceptive person that she was, glared at him darkly, basically telling him that she did not wish to deal with any of his shit. Sighing loudly Collins looked towards Miranda, basically telling her that he was going to speak first.

"Well, I just have to say that I have found Meryl Stryfe. She lives in a town 200 miles west of here. You know that town 200 miles west of here called Tulip[1]?"

"Well isn't that just wonderful. I'm sure you know what her occupation is, her home address and her closest friends do you not?" Yuki asked impatiently. If she did not know any better she would say that they were walking on eggshells right about now. Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked over towards Miranda, who seemed to find her walls extremely fascinating.

"Of course I know everything about her now." He stated slowly. Yuki swiveled her eyes back over to him, and gave him a cold glare. This was not the time for him to be vague with her.

"I know that you know. Are you going to fucking give me the information or not? I don't have the time to fuck around with you." Miranda inched away from the angered woman slightly, while Collins stood his ground. It would have been a little strange to see a man who was twice as big as Yuki shimmy away from her due to her temper, but than again, he was sleeping with her (on some extent).

"All right. I won't beat around the bush anymore. Meryl Stryfe lives in Tulip, where the headquarters of the Bernadelli Insurance Company is located. It just so happens that Meryl lives 5 blocks away from there in Section 12 of the city. Not only that but her best friend, whom is also her roommate works for the Bernadelli Insurance Company."

"Let me guess, Meryl works there too?" Yuki asked, receiving a single nod from Collins. Cursing inwardly Yuki turned around and ran her fingers through her hair despairingly. This just couldn't have gotten any worse. Meryl Stryfe just happened to work for one of the most prestigious Insurance Companies on all of Gunsmoke. Murdering her without suspicions was not going to be easy.

Walking slowly over to her bedside table, Yuki picked up a pack of cigarettes, and quickly withdrew on, shoving the end of it in her mouth. Picking up her lighter, she quickly lit it, taking long infuriating drags on it.

"Okay, so what do you have to say Miranda?" Yuki asked the brunette, extremely keen on getting to sleep. Miranda seemed to fidget with the hem of her skirt before looking an impatient Yuki in the eye and smiling nervously.

"Well we needed to withdraw a very large sum of money from the banks, and well you see what happened was they wouldn't allow me to take any. Since you hadn't really changed the account over to your own and left it in William Stryfe's name, the banks have decided that only a direct descendant of him can withdraw the money from his account. Apparently they know that Meryl exists. Technically, she inherited her fathers entire fortune. Whether she knows or not, I don't know, but the Insurance Companies definitely know, and whether we like it or not Meryl is going to be receiving that money." Miranda kept her eyes on Yuki for a moment, before grabbing Collins by the arm and leading him out of the room, simply waiting to hear Yuki explode.

Her facial expression was completely unreadable as her employees left her room. Her mind was absolutely reeling. If she had no money, she could not provide the product. If she could not provide the product she would not have any costumers. And the only person who could even remotely touch that money was Meryl. And that meant only one single thing: Yuki needed Meryl.

Alive.

________________________

A/N: hey hey hey, we are getting even closer to the Vash and Meryl romance. This is going to be about the last chapter Yuki will appear in for a while, so that leaves enough time and space to develop Vash and Meryl's relationship. YES!!!! Alright anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!!!

[1] I couldn't really think of a proper name for the town that Meryl lived in, so I decided to name it after a flower. Original is it not?

~Neko-Sama~