In the day of Sephiroth.
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Hey everyone, I'm Jessie, otherwise known as rikku chan191
The horrid fanfic writer that always has horrid fanfics that never seem to
work.
Sephiroth: I don't think they're thaaaaat bad.just need grammar checkups now a-
Jessie covers Sephiroth's mouth
Jessie: Okay you don't have to say that.now my love I'll let do the disclaimer go on.,
Sephiroth:..First..I'm not your love, second..No.
Jessie: Yes you are now do the Disclaimer.
Sephiroth: No I'm not. And I'm not doing your stupid Disclaimer.
Jessie: YOU WILL! *Growls and hisses at Sephiroth then pounces him with her SHARP..fingernails.*
Sephiroth: OKAY OKAY! Jessie does not own FF7 or any of the characters in it
Jessie: Now come along my little love turkey! Away!
Jessie hops onto sephiroth's back and tries to ride him like a horse
Sephiroth: DAMN YOU GET OFF ME!
Jessie: NO! Ride off turkey or I'll show these!
Jessie holds out a tape of sephiroths bath time with him and a rubber duckie,
Sephiroth: WHERE IN HELL DID YOU GET THOSE!?!
Jessie: That's for me to know and you to find out my love dove. NOW MUSH! Oh yeah, and review what you think of this. Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase no flameing. I hate my hair being burnt.
Sephiroth: By the gods! Someone help me!
Jessie: Every good review means sephiroth gets to live. Every bad review means that sephiroth gets hit by an anvil.
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cloud: HA-HA!
Sephiroth: Shut up strife.at least I don't look girly.
Cloud: Yeah you do, Long silver locks of silver haaahahahaa
Sephiroth: Can I kill him?
Jessie: Not yet my puppy. NOW MUSH! And everyone else enjoy the fanfic.
Sephiroth's whimpers can be heard
Jessie: ENJOY! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
4:00,AM:Brush Teeth and think evil plots to kill the FF7 party
4:30,AM: Eat pizza and watch Saturday cartoons.
5:00,AM: Work out to RICHARD SIMMONS dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuun.
5:30,AM: Plot way of getting Tifa to like him
6:00,AM: Eat KFC and plop down on the couch and watches the Simpson's
6:30,AM: Plot ways of killing cloud, and thinks naughty thoughts for the rest of the half hour
7:00,AM: Try to put a move on tifa...get kicked in the face.
7:30,AM: Fix hole in wall from getting thrown at the wall by tifa therefore breaking his fine wall.
8:00,AM Go out shopping while being stalked by yuffie
8:30,AM: Finish shopping and get tackle/glomp/kissed by yuffie 9:00,AM: After prying yuffie off I send her to the insane asylum and walk away eating a happy meal from McDonalds
9:30,AM: After sending Yuffie off to the insane asylum I go get a milkshake and watch a movie
10:00,AM: See cid smoking in a bar so I join him after a couple..dozen beers I walk out and see aeris hanging around..I touch her shoulder and ask "Heeeey...baaaaaby..."
10:30,AM: Nurse staff stab wounds by aeris for trying to kiss her while drunk.
11:00,AM: yawn and think about getting a guard pet.like a duck.or a cheekin...
11:30,AM: Get invited to a party by cait sith at McDonalds at the gold saucer
12:00,PM: shrugs and eats a mighty meal topped off with some chow mein.
12:30,PM: Get cloak and outfit dry cleaned..well a bad guy has to keep his outfit's their blackest.
1:00,PM: Think about how he's going to slaughter aeris and get it on with tifa
1:30,PM: get dry cleaning out and put it back on and spend a while screaming "HOT ZIPPER HOT ZIPPER!"
2:00,PM:Take a shower and sing opera and watch Inu-Yasha in robe
2:30,PM: Get hair slick and ready for the party..AKA: Put a ton-o-grease on your hair and make it all messy..actually he just ties it up in the end.
3:00,PM: Go over to barrets and watch football and eat junk food.
3:30,PM: Go home take a nap Dream about Tifa and killing cloud
4:00,PM: Wake up and get ready all over again for the party
4:30,PM: Walk down to the gold saucer place.. 5:00,PM: Stop to catch breath from walking all the way down from midgar to the gold saucer railroad.
5:30,PM: Take a half our crawling from tired and acheing bones onto the railway and sitting down on the cushion
6:00,PM: Arrives..(FINALY) at the gold saucer.
6:30,PM: Wander around mindlessly then sits down in the spot they told him to meet them at.
7:00,PM: Wait and wait...and wait....and wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait...and so on..
7:01,PM: Everyone comes out of the walls shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEPHIRTOH!" then I think 'oh god..I knew something was wrong today.I turned 51..(he guesses by his level in FF7 last time anyone saw his level it was 50.)
7:30,PM: Everyone party's then we eat cake pizza and soda I get depressed and sit in a corner until the insane asylum lets yuffie out and she drags me back for presents.and the first one.from yuffie... Hangover pills..Just what a guy needs. Then Tifa gives me some old vintage wine I mutter a thanks and then the next horrid gift I got was Cloud cid and barret singing..."HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOH HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SEPHIROTH AND JENOVA TOO" then I noticed they got drunk earlier. Then the good present from Vincent came..He gave me a 60 pack of beer. I thanked him for the beer and nearly drank it all..
8:00 9:00 & 10:00,PM: I lay on my bed drunk as I see tifa and yuffie and somehow.aeris comes in and then like goddesses start kissing me and feeding me grapes until I try and swat them away.then they tie me down and do naughty and evil stuff to me that I'll regret seeing for the rest of my life. Too bad I didn't have a camera with me..Instant blackmail..
4:00,AM: Wake up with a hangover and see cloud passed out nude on my bed and scream until I actually wake up and see the girls laying on my bed then I go whew..and walk around normally as I would and getting some KFC. Then think.'that was the most horrible birthday I've ever had' then shake my head laughing, ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Jessie: Soooo..what did you think of it? Sephiroth: I hate you.
Jessie: Awww snuggle bunny I'm sure you don't mean that
Jessie huggles closer to sephiroth and says "I WUV YOU!"
Jessie: Anyways make sure to watch next episode Next time I'll be married to this stud!
She pokes at sephiroths 6 pack on his chest
Sephiroth: NUTS TO THIS!
Sephiroth runs away
Jessie: *cries* Sephy wephy! Come back!
Then Vincent comes back out of the ground
Vincent: Why are you crying?
Jessie: Because the love of my l-...Umm I mean I'm just a helpless girl without a family.I just live on the streets getting what I can.
Vincent: what's with the camera men?
Jessie: I don't know they follow me around.
Camera men nod and do an okie dokie hand sign to Jessie
Jessie leaps into Vincent's arms
Vincent: Umm.miss?
Jessie: I've found a new mate! Join us next time as I get married to Vincent here! He doesn't have as good as a 6 pack as sephiroth but he's got a can that wont quit!
Vincent: HELP ME JEBUS!
Vincent drops Jessie and runs
Jessie: HEY COME BACK YOU UNWORTHY LOWLIFE!
Vincent: HAH! Lowlife is my nickname!
Jessie: Can I call you sweetie instead?
Vincent: AAAAAARG JEBUS HELP ME!
Reno from the Turks steps in
Reno: AHEM..since miss Jessie is a bit busy at the moment she would like me to tell you to stay tuned to the next episode where she gets married to Vincent..
Reno falls over laughing out loudly "poor fool ha-ha-ha-ha"
Reno gets back up saying
Reno: AHEM.umm.Yeah anyway-
Jessie: RENO! I wuv you!!
Reno: Umm.SORRY GOTTA GO!
Jessie can be seen running after sephiroth Vincent and Reno for no apparent reason.
THE END
Sephiroth: I don't think they're thaaaaat bad.just need grammar checkups now a-
Jessie covers Sephiroth's mouth
Jessie: Okay you don't have to say that.now my love I'll let do the disclaimer go on.,
Sephiroth:..First..I'm not your love, second..No.
Jessie: Yes you are now do the Disclaimer.
Sephiroth: No I'm not. And I'm not doing your stupid Disclaimer.
Jessie: YOU WILL! *Growls and hisses at Sephiroth then pounces him with her SHARP..fingernails.*
Sephiroth: OKAY OKAY! Jessie does not own FF7 or any of the characters in it
Jessie: Now come along my little love turkey! Away!
Jessie hops onto sephiroth's back and tries to ride him like a horse
Sephiroth: DAMN YOU GET OFF ME!
Jessie: NO! Ride off turkey or I'll show these!
Jessie holds out a tape of sephiroths bath time with him and a rubber duckie,
Sephiroth: WHERE IN HELL DID YOU GET THOSE!?!
Jessie: That's for me to know and you to find out my love dove. NOW MUSH! Oh yeah, and review what you think of this. Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase no flameing. I hate my hair being burnt.
Sephiroth: By the gods! Someone help me!
Jessie: Every good review means sephiroth gets to live. Every bad review means that sephiroth gets hit by an anvil.
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Cloud: HA-HA!
Sephiroth: Shut up strife.at least I don't look girly.
Cloud: Yeah you do, Long silver locks of silver haaahahahaa
Sephiroth: Can I kill him?
Jessie: Not yet my puppy. NOW MUSH! And everyone else enjoy the fanfic.
Sephiroth's whimpers can be heard
Jessie: ENJOY! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
4:00,AM:Brush Teeth and think evil plots to kill the FF7 party
4:30,AM: Eat pizza and watch Saturday cartoons.
5:00,AM: Work out to RICHARD SIMMONS dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuun.
5:30,AM: Plot way of getting Tifa to like him
6:00,AM: Eat KFC and plop down on the couch and watches the Simpson's
6:30,AM: Plot ways of killing cloud, and thinks naughty thoughts for the rest of the half hour
7:00,AM: Try to put a move on tifa...get kicked in the face.
7:30,AM: Fix hole in wall from getting thrown at the wall by tifa therefore breaking his fine wall.
8:00,AM Go out shopping while being stalked by yuffie
8:30,AM: Finish shopping and get tackle/glomp/kissed by yuffie 9:00,AM: After prying yuffie off I send her to the insane asylum and walk away eating a happy meal from McDonalds
9:30,AM: After sending Yuffie off to the insane asylum I go get a milkshake and watch a movie
10:00,AM: See cid smoking in a bar so I join him after a couple..dozen beers I walk out and see aeris hanging around..I touch her shoulder and ask "Heeeey...baaaaaby..."
10:30,AM: Nurse staff stab wounds by aeris for trying to kiss her while drunk.
11:00,AM: yawn and think about getting a guard pet.like a duck.or a cheekin...
11:30,AM: Get invited to a party by cait sith at McDonalds at the gold saucer
12:00,PM: shrugs and eats a mighty meal topped off with some chow mein.
12:30,PM: Get cloak and outfit dry cleaned..well a bad guy has to keep his outfit's their blackest.
1:00,PM: Think about how he's going to slaughter aeris and get it on with tifa
1:30,PM: get dry cleaning out and put it back on and spend a while screaming "HOT ZIPPER HOT ZIPPER!"
2:00,PM:Take a shower and sing opera and watch Inu-Yasha in robe
2:30,PM: Get hair slick and ready for the party..AKA: Put a ton-o-grease on your hair and make it all messy..actually he just ties it up in the end.
3:00,PM: Go over to barrets and watch football and eat junk food.
3:30,PM: Go home take a nap Dream about Tifa and killing cloud
4:00,PM: Wake up and get ready all over again for the party
4:30,PM: Walk down to the gold saucer place.. 5:00,PM: Stop to catch breath from walking all the way down from midgar to the gold saucer railroad.
5:30,PM: Take a half our crawling from tired and acheing bones onto the railway and sitting down on the cushion
6:00,PM: Arrives..(FINALY) at the gold saucer.
6:30,PM: Wander around mindlessly then sits down in the spot they told him to meet them at.
7:00,PM: Wait and wait...and wait....and wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait...and so on..
7:01,PM: Everyone comes out of the walls shouting "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEPHIRTOH!" then I think 'oh god..I knew something was wrong today.I turned 51..(he guesses by his level in FF7 last time anyone saw his level it was 50.)
7:30,PM: Everyone party's then we eat cake pizza and soda I get depressed and sit in a corner until the insane asylum lets yuffie out and she drags me back for presents.and the first one.from yuffie... Hangover pills..Just what a guy needs. Then Tifa gives me some old vintage wine I mutter a thanks and then the next horrid gift I got was Cloud cid and barret singing..."HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOH HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SEPHIROTH AND JENOVA TOO" then I noticed they got drunk earlier. Then the good present from Vincent came..He gave me a 60 pack of beer. I thanked him for the beer and nearly drank it all..
8:00 9:00 & 10:00,PM: I lay on my bed drunk as I see tifa and yuffie and somehow.aeris comes in and then like goddesses start kissing me and feeding me grapes until I try and swat them away.then they tie me down and do naughty and evil stuff to me that I'll regret seeing for the rest of my life. Too bad I didn't have a camera with me..Instant blackmail..
4:00,AM: Wake up with a hangover and see cloud passed out nude on my bed and scream until I actually wake up and see the girls laying on my bed then I go whew..and walk around normally as I would and getting some KFC. Then think.'that was the most horrible birthday I've ever had' then shake my head laughing, ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Jessie: Soooo..what did you think of it? Sephiroth: I hate you.
Jessie: Awww snuggle bunny I'm sure you don't mean that
Jessie huggles closer to sephiroth and says "I WUV YOU!"
Jessie: Anyways make sure to watch next episode Next time I'll be married to this stud!
She pokes at sephiroths 6 pack on his chest
Sephiroth: NUTS TO THIS!
Sephiroth runs away
Jessie: *cries* Sephy wephy! Come back!
Then Vincent comes back out of the ground
Vincent: Why are you crying?
Jessie: Because the love of my l-...Umm I mean I'm just a helpless girl without a family.I just live on the streets getting what I can.
Vincent: what's with the camera men?
Jessie: I don't know they follow me around.
Camera men nod and do an okie dokie hand sign to Jessie
Jessie leaps into Vincent's arms
Vincent: Umm.miss?
Jessie: I've found a new mate! Join us next time as I get married to Vincent here! He doesn't have as good as a 6 pack as sephiroth but he's got a can that wont quit!
Vincent: HELP ME JEBUS!
Vincent drops Jessie and runs
Jessie: HEY COME BACK YOU UNWORTHY LOWLIFE!
Vincent: HAH! Lowlife is my nickname!
Jessie: Can I call you sweetie instead?
Vincent: AAAAAARG JEBUS HELP ME!
Reno from the Turks steps in
Reno: AHEM..since miss Jessie is a bit busy at the moment she would like me to tell you to stay tuned to the next episode where she gets married to Vincent..
Reno falls over laughing out loudly "poor fool ha-ha-ha-ha"
Reno gets back up saying
Reno: AHEM.umm.Yeah anyway-
Jessie: RENO! I wuv you!!
Reno: Umm.SORRY GOTTA GO!
Jessie can be seen running after sephiroth Vincent and Reno for no apparent reason.
THE END