I am so angry at myself for not taking one of my sister with me. I can be
so stubborn sometimes and yes I know it is a miracle that I just admitted
that! I am sitting in Prue's car at the moment (which is amazing that she
lent it to me) and I am watching my little girl playing with dolls in her
backyard. She looks so happy and innocent. She has brown ringlets and she
looks like she can barely walk but still she is. She is walking around the
yard making her doll soar in the air. I can't see her eyes but I know they
will be a piercing blue like they were at birth.
I don't know if I can just go in there and rip the only family she has known away. But then she is only one would she understand? Damn it I am scaring myself again.
I take a deep breath and step out of the car, the lady watching Parker looks up and sees me and smiles and waves. I smile and walk towards her, ever so slowly. When I reach Parker she looks up at me with that baby grin and says "Hi". Her foster mum comes up and picks her up and says "Parker baby this is your mummy". I stand there shocked when she passes me her. She smells like baby shampoo and I touch her face and she says again "Hi". I look over to the lady and she says "She doesn't say much and I'm Judith by the way". I copy my daughters words and say "Hi Phoebe. is me". She laughs at my shock and indicated to follow. Before I start to walk Parker puts her hands on my face and looks into my eyes and says "My ma" I smile and touch her face and say "My Parker".
She snuggles into me and gives a little giggle and I continue towards the house. Judith says "We haven't kept you a secret from her and she is a pretty bright baby, she started walking at 6 months as I said in my letters. She sure looked weird tottering around at that age. She has only ever said hi" She comes out of a room and hands me a couple of bags. "These are her things" she gets teary eyes then and says "Can I give her a hug". I can feel my tears building as I hand her to her. They hug for what seems like forever and Parker says "Bye Bye wuv you". Judith looks at her shocked and puts on a shaky smile and says "Now you were just fooling us with this hi stuff now weren't you missy". Parker tilts her head smiles and then turns around and puts her hands up. I pick her up gently and tell Judith "Don't worry she is in good hands and I will send you photos if you want". She nods her head and wraps Parker and I into a hug.
As I walk to the car I feel like someone who has taken someone else daughter not my own.
I don't know if I can just go in there and rip the only family she has known away. But then she is only one would she understand? Damn it I am scaring myself again.
I take a deep breath and step out of the car, the lady watching Parker looks up and sees me and smiles and waves. I smile and walk towards her, ever so slowly. When I reach Parker she looks up at me with that baby grin and says "Hi". Her foster mum comes up and picks her up and says "Parker baby this is your mummy". I stand there shocked when she passes me her. She smells like baby shampoo and I touch her face and she says again "Hi". I look over to the lady and she says "She doesn't say much and I'm Judith by the way". I copy my daughters words and say "Hi Phoebe. is me". She laughs at my shock and indicated to follow. Before I start to walk Parker puts her hands on my face and looks into my eyes and says "My ma" I smile and touch her face and say "My Parker".
She snuggles into me and gives a little giggle and I continue towards the house. Judith says "We haven't kept you a secret from her and she is a pretty bright baby, she started walking at 6 months as I said in my letters. She sure looked weird tottering around at that age. She has only ever said hi" She comes out of a room and hands me a couple of bags. "These are her things" she gets teary eyes then and says "Can I give her a hug". I can feel my tears building as I hand her to her. They hug for what seems like forever and Parker says "Bye Bye wuv you". Judith looks at her shocked and puts on a shaky smile and says "Now you were just fooling us with this hi stuff now weren't you missy". Parker tilts her head smiles and then turns around and puts her hands up. I pick her up gently and tell Judith "Don't worry she is in good hands and I will send you photos if you want". She nods her head and wraps Parker and I into a hug.
As I walk to the car I feel like someone who has taken someone else daughter not my own.