Pure darkness.

No sound, no light, nothing to assure the senses that he was still alive or even to introduce him to the afterlife. Instead it was the humid, unforgiving darkness that swallowed him whole. He remembered screaming out for help, for deliverance but there was none that came. A grisly realization occurred to him that he was dead but somehow it was not heaven he was in, or even hell. He was captured somewhere, trapped within purgatory. He was trapped inside this darkness.

Severus tried to scream again for help and again he had no response. He curled into a ball, trying to make sense of it all. He had never felt so alone.

Then light, cruel and overpowering light that burned his eyes flooded his consciences and he knew he was not dead anymore. Someone had ripped him from the darkness, the solitude, and brought him back.

But not all of him was back, as Severus' weak eyes focused on the face through hazy, tear soaked eyes, he felt something missing from him. It was like some part of him had been left in that darkness.

"Why did you bring me back?"

"Bring you back?"

Severus inclined his head, realizing the voice didn't know what he was talking about. When he looked back, Jamie was staring down at him. He forced a smile. "Jamie?"

"Oh Severus!" Jamie exclaimed, throwing herself over him and clinging to him tightly. "I thought you were going to die."

"But I did…I don't know to explain it but I did…"

"What are you talking about?" Jamie sat up, staring at him.

"It's like I was night itself. I couldn't feel anything or see anything…"

"Alex, you're scaring me."

"And I left something behind, Jamie…" He looked over to Jamie and grabbed her hand. He saw the concern in her eyes so he smiled weakly. "Wild dream, huh?"

Jamie leaned down and gave him his first kiss. It was soft and meaningful. It could have lasted only a moment but that moment was suppose to have meant everything in the world. Jamie pulled away and studied him. "Don't ever leave me again, Alex."

Severus watched her go wondering why he hadn't felt anything.

The next few weeks were a haze. He found it hard to concentrate on his studies and even harder to go through the daily paces of his life. Nobody knew about his vampire attack but the funerals were still fresh on everyone's mind so he was granted leeway and privacy.

The only time he ever felt safe or even at peace was during the night or when he found his solace somewhere high above the world. Some nights he would climb up to the Owlery and watch as the birds hunted and flourished in the darkness. During the day the owls existed, doing their duty and performing tasks but the night was theirs.

Severus envied them. At least in this darkness, they could find themselves; night had yet to reveal to him what he had left there. He still felt trapped in his dreamy haze, caught somewhere between his death, and this new, awkward life.

It was like he had to learn to be alive again. His friends seemed to accept that this was the natural order of things for the Heir of Akel Dama. He had always been private, using his perfect manners and wit to disarm anyone but only now did he use this talent like a shield. Something in him screamed that the world couldn't see his new self. Not yet.

But he didn't understand this transformation and it scared him. He had never felt so lost before and so alone. He had never admitted to loving his grandmother and aunt but they had still been the only family he knew, and they had laid out his life. Now he lacked their guidance. He needed someone to understand what he was feeling. Although Jamie tried to reach him, too many times she tried and failed to reach him. This was a time he needed someone more then a friend, someone Jamie couldn't be.

And that truth coupled with his change was perhaps most painful because there was a wealth of emotions and concerns he didn't understand and wanted nothing more in the world then to desperately want to free himself from them. This emptiness, this darkness he felt was something he could not share with Jamie, Silas or anyone else from the Illuminatti; he was certain they wouldn't understand. So he hid. As a boy at Akel Dama he had hidden in an old yew tree on the grounds that provided a direct view of the annex above the Gray Library. It was there; he could hide and think for hours.

At Hogwarts, the tree he chose to hid in was oak and provided a view of the lake's entrance into the Forbidden Forest.

Laughter interrupted his thoughts. He looked down and saw Lily Evans from Gryffindor running and laughing uncontrollably. Severus slid down to a lower limb and leaned forward to see. Lily had her eyes on the sky, watching intently something Severus couldn't see from his vantage point.

"Come down here!" Lily laughed and for a moment Severus thought she was telling him that. Then, a brown falcon swooped down and began its ascent. Severus watched amazed as the falcon began to shift and transform. A girl appeared where the bird should have landed, at the foot of his tree and a few feet away from Lily.

The girl was surreal. She had dark brown skin, the color of fine caramel or, and this seemed a more fitting description for the bird girl, the color of earth. She didn't walk; she glided on delicate bare feet. She was wearing a collection of beads on her neck and a large leather band with a silver ring on her wrist, similar to a fowler's tether. Her hair, light brown, was wild and wind spent and cut in ragged lengths trailing down her back. A simple Asian style outfit adorned her frame. It was made of simple white linen, high collared and incredible suiting for the girl.

Severus shifted, and the girl heard it, snapping her head to look straight up into the well-covered tree.

Her face gave the faintest whisper of being oriental but the usually defined eyes and narrow face were more ethnic, plain even. She inclined her head, very much reminding Severus of a bird. But her eyes struck him; almond and bird like, and a sharp silver color, they were incredibly sad. Her eyes told him she understood his darkness. "Hello?"

Severus didn't move.

"I know you're there, I can hear you breathing."

It was impossible for her to hear him, even if she was an animagus. Animagi held none of the acute senses of the animal form while they were humans. Only changelings could, such as werewolves. She must be a changeling, which confirmed his suspicion about her ethnic background. Usually only indigenous peoples contained that talent. It was a type of magic that could not be studied or taught, it came naturally to certain races.

"My name is Melanie Reyes." She said softly. "Won't you tell me your name?"

"Come on, Melanie." Lily called. "We have to go."

Melanie ignored her. "How about your age? School House?" She was searching the tree limbs for him. "I'm in Ravenclaw."

"Slytherin."

Melanie smiled, a small, closed and tempered smile but one that lit up her sad eyes. Severus fell in love with her that instant. "I hope to see you soon, Slytherin." She called before running to Lily.

He could hear her asking Lily about any Slytherins she knew. He found himself smiling.