A/N: Well I haven't written in this account for ages, but I have 3 unfinished fics and I got bored so I'm finishing them off. This is the first to get the treatment. Trying to salvage something maybe (if you didn't know I've been writing on my Stand-alone Sally account, go check out) so finishing a complicated fic in one chapter isn't easy, so understand why it seems all rushed. Thanks to Lyns for the help….and to Hna because she rocks. Oh and just to confuse you, it's written in the present tense, because I prefer that way, and is not in a 'dear diary' form. Oh and some of the more….vulgar language is English vulgarity, so you American people might not…get some. (This is the revised version, I have…tense issues…)
**
The daughter ~ Kacey
I couldn't tell anyone after I read the letter, not even Doug. The air stopped filling my lungs and for a minute threatened to suffocate me. I couldn't function for days, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't talk. Maybe that's why I've found myself knocking on his door. You know, him, John. Well it isn't literally his door, just the one he'd rented out whilst in the area. I close my eyes and imagine him fumbling in his pocket, searching in his pocket, rushing to let Mom into the room so they can…you know. Have rampant sex? Do a little dance? Make a little love?
You see, I'm not blind, deaf and dumb, whatever Mom may think. I could see how she avoided Derek after seeing him at the hospital, never looking him in the eye. I saw the way she seemed to be…glowing when I bumped into her late at night when she returned from 'watching Ceara' . It took all my willpower not to call out after her 'Watching Ceara? Is that some kind of weird sexual practice imported from…well god knows where.' The way she was smiling secretively, it was just like that time when Doug and I….well some things are better left unsaid. Actually most things concerning Doug, alcohol and I are. I think that's one of the things I got from Mom, I like my vodka.
So I knock once, twice, three times and then wait. Wait for, well seconds probably, but it feels like an eternity, and then he appears. He appears, looking slightly worse for wear, I've probably just woken him up. Good.
'Kacey, what are you…' I don't waste any time, I get straight in there, interrupting him,
'You stupid, nasty, cocky, shitting, crapping, frigging, sodding asshole.'
'What the…' he says, trailing off. I take my chance again to interrupt
'How could you? How could you be so damn blind? How could you not notice? Aren't you supposed to be a doctor? Or what…is Doctor a fancy-shmancy thing you like to put in front of a name? What are you, a vet? Are you more used to your patients moo-ing when they're knocked up? '
'Kacey, what's this about?' he asks, his face tired, yet his eyes oh-so awake.
'She was pregnant. Mom was pregnant and you left her.'
'No,' he says, shaking his head sadly, 'no, she wasn't.
'What do you mean?' I ask, feeling my tone soften at the sadness in his voice.
'She had an abortion. She was pregnant, one day I was looking for her and Susan…Dr Lewis…well she's always been hopeless at keeping secrets. She told me where to find your mother.' His voice, which had been so friendly before, becoming perhaps only minutes away from turning into a nasty growl.
'What do you mean?' I ask, although knowing the answer.
'Susan told me that she was upstairs having an abortion. So I went to find her, I bumped into her on my way up to the abortion ward. She'd had the abortion, behind my back.' The promised growl finally surfaces and is accompanied by a suitably menacing look on his face. 'So I told her where to go, I told her to leave me. So is that why you came? To humiliate me? Then you've succeeded.'
'But you're going to take her back now?' I ask, trying to taunt him into further anger.
'I think….well I thought we could put it behind us. I'm not so sure now. Goodbye Kacey, I'm tired.' he says, all but ready to slam the door in my face.
'No! Wait!' I say, well I shout really. Desperate not to let this go, my one last shred of a family, something to hold on to. 'Something happened. I'm not sure what…' I say trailing off, seeing the sceptical look on his face. 'Listen to me!' I say, the anger building up inside me. 'Something happened, something, something made her change her mind. She didn't have the abortion, maybe she couldn't do it. Maybe she was scared, maybe she's a coward, maybe she loved you too much. '
'Kacey, I'd like…no, love to think that – but you can't know that. You can't even think that, if she didn't have the abortion, then there'd be a child…' he says, trailing off again, realisation dawning, displayed on his face. He looks at me, his eyes widening,
'Hi Dad.' I say. It sounded corny and stupid in my head and it sure as hell doesn't sound any better when I actually say it. It sounded terrible, hideous, awful, but he smiles. He smiles, assuring me that my lack of witty comments hadn't ruined the moment. Our moment.
**
And so I'm here. Sitting on the hard, surprisingly uncomfortable bed in his hotel room. It's odd actually, the bed looked so plush when I first saw it, all fluffy and squishy…you know? Well I guess some things just surprise you, some people surprise me. I hear him on the phone, talking to Mom and I can imagine her face, I can imagine her crying. She still loves him, I can tell. I don't worry for a second about the demise of my non-family, remember? Ceara, Derek. Derek can rot in hell for all I care, and Ceara? Well who knows? Maybe she'll come and live with me, Mom and Dad. Maybe we could all play happy families, maybe we could pretend we're a normal family.
I'm interrupted from my thoughts by the sound of dad's voice.
'So we'll see you then, okay? Yes, I love you too. It'll be fun, we can be a family, walk by the river, get coffee and pie.'
And then, in that moment, when I hear him say those words, I know that it's all going to be okay.
a/n2: Well the coffee and pie bit wasn't a shoutout or anything…but oi carbitas, go check out coffeeandpie.com and the message board. ::wooks:: Oh and leave me a review.