What is Choice?
By Melissa(dettiot@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG-13 mostly, with one NC-17 epilogue.
Spoilers: Through Chosen.
Author's Note: Spike/Buffy, but only kinda. This story is a bit odd. Also posted on my website(http://lostinwonderland.org/buffy/fanfic.html).
Song lyric in the chapter title is "I Only Wanna Be With You," as performed by Dusty Springfield.
Chapter Four: Ever Since We Met You've Had a Hold On Me
Buffy burst through the door of her apartment, a whirl of motion and energy. The drive from San Diego had seemed to take forever, and then she had to take care of some errands, including picking Dawn up from her friend's house. But she was home now, and she dove for the phone.
"Sheesh," Dawn commented, following her sister into the apartment. "You're entirely too peppy. What happened to you this weekend?"
Buffy turned towards Dawn, the cordless phone tucked against her shoulder as she dug through her purse for Will's number. "I have no idea what you mean, Dawn. I just have to make a phone call."
"Right," Dawn said. "A phone call . . . to a guy," she teased in a sing-song voice.
Buffy stopped digging and stared at her sister. "Huh? How'd you guess?"
Dawn snorted. "Please. Seen this two times before, and heard your stories about that guy in college. Although I've never seen it this bad. I hope he's really cute."
Buffy grinned. "Gorgeous. And now I'm going to call him, from my room. You're on your own for dinner."
Dawn looked puzzled. "Buffy, it's only two o'clock in the afternoon. You've never talked on the phone that long, even pre-Slayer."
"First time for everything, sister dear." Buffy giggled and dashed into her room, leaving a shocked Dawn behind.
Buffy dropped her bags on the floor, and flopped down on the bed. But instead of punching in Will's number, she paused, gazing at the piece of paper she held in her hand.
"What am I doing?" she asked herself aloud. Dawn was right--she'd never been this giddy over a guy before, even when she was fourteen and finally caught the attention of what's-his-name, the guy that every girl in school had wanted.
She had barely known Will for a few hours, yet she had engaged in a serious liplock and some heavy-duty relationship discussion, if only vaguely. Ever since Angel, she hadn't been one to jump in feet-first; her experience with Parker had only confirmed the fact that chemistry wasn't enough to build a relationship. Of course, chemistry was good, seeing as how she'd had none with Riley. Even though he had been a nice guy, and what any sane girl should want in a boyfriend, he hadn't excited her.
Buffy sighed, and blew her bangs out of her eyes. There was no reason to freak out, yet. Sure, they had done some kissing, but it wasn't like she had anything to be ashamed about. And living hours apart might be good, at least at the beginning of whatever she had with Will. It'd certainly help her figure out if there was more to him than good looks and the ability to turn her into Jell-O.
Before her doubts could return for round two, she quickly dialed Will's number, her breath coming fast.
"Hello?"
"Hi," she answered, feeling much calmer at the sound of his voice.
"Hey! Home all safe and sound?"
"Yeah--although I think my sister is looking for the pod I must have crawled out of. Happy Buffy has been such a rare visitor lately, Dawn's probably feeling like she's in a remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers."
"Well, since I like Happy Buffy, among the many Buffies I've met so far, we'll have to see about keeping her around."
Buffy laughed into the phone. "So what did you do all day, while I was stuck in traffic?"
She heard a slight pause, and then he cleared his throat. "Um, writing."
"Writing? I thought you worked at a college."
"How'd you find that out?" Will asked, already pretty sure whom she'd asked.
"I bribed Rich to get the info this morning. And don't worry, I just bribed him with breakfast."
"Remind me to find some new, less talkative friends," Will said, his voice joking. "Yes, I work in PR for a college down here. But what I really do is write."
"How is that going for you?" Buffy asked, rolling onto her back.
"It's good. Had a book of short stories published last year, so the next step is a novel. I've got an idea I'm working on now, seeing what develops."
Buffy sighed. "It must be great, to know what you want to do, and to be good at it."
"It's satisfying. Doesn't make the days I want to throw the computer out the bloody window any less frustrating though."
Buffy nodded in agreement. "I get that. I had moments like that . . ." She trailed off, suddenly realizing how close she came to saying "when I was Slaying." A conversation definitely not to be begun now. Maybe not ever.
She hurriedly tried to finish her sentence without attracting attention. ". . . in a job I had."
A silence fell between them, but unlike on Saturday night, Buffy didn't rush to fill it with words. She merely listened to his breathing, wondering what expression was on his face, what emotion was lurking within his eyes.
Will was the one to speak this time. "So tell me . . . what was the last thing you read that just knocked you out?"
Buffy smiled happily, remembering his words from the previous evening. "A poem that I had to read for class. It didn't feel like schoolwork, because it just spoke to me. Neruda's sonnet #17."
Will paused, and said, "I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz/or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off./I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,/in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
Buffy let out the breath she'd inhaled when he had started reciting. "Wow. Will, that was amazing."
She could practically hear him blushing. "It's one of my favorites. Probably my favorite Neruda. So many people prefer 'I Crave Your Mouth,' but #17 has always seemed . . . more real to me. More basic and elemental."
"I know what you mean," Buffy replied softly. She sighed, and said, "So do you like poetry?"
"Love it," he said. "Can't write it for crap, so I let other people speak for me in that arena."
"I suck with words, myself," Buffy commented.
"Not at all, love--don't sell yourself short. Anyone who can quip like you is no lightweight. And you even can use big words when under the influence of my devastating charm."
Buffy laughed. "You were hoping I would be so dazzled by the compliment, I wouldn't cut you down to size over the end of that sentence, weren't you?"
"I'm a guy," Will said. "I always have to push my luck."
"Is that a fact?" Buffy said, her eyebrow raised.
"It's fully laid out in the Bloke's Bible, after 'Thou shalt not ask for directions' and before 'Thou shalt determine the nature of a break with a girlfriend before dating again'."
"Never would have pegged you as a 'Friends' fan, Will."
Will sighed melodramatically. "I was dating a girl who loved it. I watched it some, but it's just a mess now--who cares about Joey and Rachel, not to mention all of Monica's whinging?"
"Don't worry, Will, I still think you're a real guy."
"I should hope so," Will retorted, his voice sounding a bit sulky.
Buffy grinned, amused by this side of Will. Suddenly, there was a click, and Dawn's voice came through the phone. "Hi, Buffy's Mystery Guy. Buffy, you forgot to get peanut butter at the store. Extra-chunky." The extension clicked off, and Buffy groaned.
"Do you have any siblings?"
"Nope, just me."
"Well, that was tame for Dawn. Once, I was on the phone with the guy that every girl wanted to be the one on the other end of the phone. We're talking, and I can tell he's leading up to asking me to the Winter Formal. Then, Dawn picks up the phone, tells the guy I had doodled 'Buffy + Ryan = 4eva' all over my notebooks and that there were several interesting passages in my diary that could be had, for a price." Buffy grimaced at Will's laughter. "Hey, it was very traumatic to my fifteen year-old heart."
Will finished laughing. "So even then, you had the guys falling all over you."
Buffy frowned. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea . . . "Well, it was just silly high school stuff. Sure, I dated, but I tend towards 'serious boyfriend' versus 'revolving door of dates'. Just two boyfriends, and one fling." She paused, biting her lip and wondering if she had gotten too serious.
"S'all right, love, wasn't fishing for your relationship history. No worries."
Buffy waited, expecting him to return the favor. "Well, aren't you gonna spill about your exes now?"
She could practically hear his smirk coming through the phone lines when he spoke. "Nah, I think I'll hold off. Gives you a reason to answer when I call you back."
"Yeah, to tell you that you're a pig," she said, her tone teasing.
"Grown with pride in Great Britain, just for you, pet," he replied. "What does tomorrow hold for you?"
"Work," Buffy sighed. "And I have a paper to work on for next Monday."
"Well, you've got a peanut butter emergency, so I'll let you go, love. But I'll call you tomorrow, if that's okay."
"Okay? It'd be perfect," Buffy said, trying to sound happy even though she was loathe to stop talking.
"Cheer up, Buffy. I know you'll have a great day tomorrow."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "And how do you know that, Mr. Psychic?" she asked skeptically.
"Simple. I know you will, because you're bloody amazing."
Buffy felt a rush of sweetness at his words. "I'm gonna get used to this sweet talk pretty quick, if you keep it up."
Will's voice dropped. "Just the truth as I see it. You take care of yourself."
Buffy sighed. "I will. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
She hung up the phone before she could say something stupid, like "We barely know each other but I'm already falling for you." She had never been one for expressing her emotions, but she felt so free with Will that she was forgetting her rules.
'Remember, you can never take back words,' she told herself as she left her bedroom to deal with Dawn's PB withdrawal.
**
Will dragged himself into his house on Monday evening, never so happy to be home as he was at that moment. His day had, in a word, sucked. He had woken up late, cut himself shaving, nearly gotten into an accident on the way to work, and then dumped coffee all over himself ten minutes after he had walked in the door. He'd been given a huge new project that was designed to promote the college beyond their traditional recruitment areas, which meant a lot more work on his off-hours, and thus less time for writing. And to top it all off, he had niggling doubts all day about Buffy.
He slammed into his kitchen, opening and closing cabinets and the refrigerator as hard as he wanted, needing the noise. Needing to release some of the tension he felt about Buffy. He could already tell he was falling head-first for her. Of course, he normally fell hard and fast for a girl when she caught his interest, but he'd never gone into a free fall like this before.
Will dropped a plate, and roared as it broke into pieces all over the floor. "Bloody fuck!" he ranted, nearly pounding his fist through the countertop. Forgetting all thoughts of dinner, he stalked out of the kitchen and went to his study, plopped down at his desk, and pulled the phone towards him. He dialed Buffy's number, consciously trying to keep his breathing under control.
"Hello?"
Will paused, feeling thrown for a loop. It sounded like he'd gotten Buffy's sister. "Um, Dawn, right?"
"Yep. Who's this?"
"I'm Will--I'm a friend of Buffy's?" he said, cringing at the way he sounded. The next thing you knew, he'd be an even bigger ponce and ask Dawn if Buffy had talked about him.
"Ohhhh," Dawn said, her voice becoming more cheerful. "Buffy's 'friend'. So, Will, what did you do to my sister, to turn her into a human being? Although if we're gonna get into NC-17 territory, you might want to withhold the details."
Will opened and closed his mouth, thrown for a loop. He then heard the sound of voices and what sounded like a small fight over the phone, before Buffy's flustered voice came through the phone. "You know, she's regressing to a 12 year-old more and more every day. I'm starting to get a bit concerned. She might need to go to a doctor, or get an 8 o'clock curfew."
Will could hear Dawn's voice fading in the background, before he managed to say, "Um, hi, Buffy."
"Don't worry, I'm in my room now, and Dawn's gotten the hint, I think, to knock it off. So how are you doing?" she asked cheerfully.
He groaned. "Awful. I was going to wait till later to call you, but I knew if I didn't calm down, I was gonna do something stupid."
"Oh, Will. How stupid are we talking about?"
He smiled at both her concern and her question. "'Punch my hand through a wall' stupid. You'd think I'd learn after the second broken finger, but I'm a slow learner in that aspect."
He could hear Buffy 'hmmm' into the phone. "So what made today so bad?"
"Just a little bit of everything, but the worst part was that I got this new assignment at work, and it means I'll have less time for writing. And I feel like I'm really getting somewhere with this latest idea."
"That must suck. I've had periods where what I wanted conflicted with what I had to do--actually, that's the story of my life. So I feel your pain and all that."
Will smiled. "Appreciated, pet. Do I at least have the satisfaction of knowing that your day went well?"
He could almost picture her bouncing on her bed, she sounded so happy. "Oh my God, Will! I had the best day. I made a ton of sales, and then I came up with a great angle for my paper that I'm sure will blow my professor out of the water. And it's all because of you, I know it."
"Guess it's just a case that I gave away all my luck to you."
"Well, you're just too nice, then. Keep some for yourself. I want you to get super successful, so that I can feel all important for knowing a distinguished writer who's also-" Buffy stopped herself mid-sentence.
"Who's also what, Buffy?" he asked, curious. When she mumbled something into the phone, he said, "What was that?"
He heard her sigh, and then she said, "A distinguished writer who's also too damn attractive."
Will felt a smile spread across his face. "Attractive, huh?"
"Well, you have looked in a mirror lately, I'm sure you know that you're gorgeous." Her voice was tinged with irritation, but he sensed that it was directed more at herself than at him.
"Love, the feeling is more than mutual. And you've just made my day."
Will smiled into the phone, loving talking to her. Loving hearing her voice, sounding a bit shy when she said, "Okay, new topic before the sappiness overwhelms this phone call and dooms it."
He laughed, and said, "Ball's in your court, love."
"Okay," she said, pausing for a moment. "What's England like? I had a mentor when I was growing up who's English, but we never really talked about what it was like, and I've never even been out of California."
"Now that is just criminal, if I do say so myself. We'll have to rectify that at some point," he said, not letting himself panic over suggesting mutual vacations and implying a deeper relationship between them.
He leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes so he could see the images he was remembering more clearly. "England's so different from here. First off, there's the rain. It rains a little every day. No rhyme or reason to the when or how long; you'll be walking along and the skies will just open up with a soft, fine rain. Because of the rain, it's so green in the parks. I grew up in London, and I made some trips into Kent, and Derbyshire, and even to my eyes, it was a green that seemed bigger than the word, you know?"
Buffy sighed a bit into the phone, and said, "Go on."
"And there's the food. Everyone makes jokes about English cooking, but there's nothing like it when you want to get comfort out of what you're putting in your mouth. Even now, if I'm feeling a bit down, I'll go visit my mum, and she'll make Yorkshire pudding for me, and we'll have scones with plenty of cream and jam. And real scones, mind you, light and soft, none of this heavy-ass American pastry. Of course, I break tradition by having a Guinness with it all, rather than a cup of tea."
She giggled, and asked, "You're really close to your mom, aren't you? I envy you that."
Will paused, struck by the note of sadness in her voice. "What about you and your mother?"
"Oh, we had the usual rough patches when I was younger, especially with my parents' divorce and our move to Sunnydale. But, it's your mom, you know? No matter how mad you are at her, you still love her." She sighed again, and said, with a catch of her voice, "My mom died about three and a half years ago. It was really sudden, and I didn't . . . adjust very well to being the grown-up and responsible for Dawn, especially since I was only twenty-one."
"What about your father?"
Buffy snorted. "I haven't seen him since I was 15. He's been too busy living in Spain with his new wife, who's only two years older than me."
"Oh, pet," Will said, feeling his heart ache for her. "It's so tough to lose someone you love. And then to have someone else to take care of, too . . . didn't you have any help?"
"I was lucky enough to have my friends, and Giles--that's the mentor I was talking about earlier--to help out with some money and lots of help around the house. It might not have been enough at the time, but we still made it through. And because of all that, I think Dawn and I are both better for it, and we've certainly got a bond that can't be broken."
"Still, I'm sorry. It sounds like something that affects you a lot," Will said, wishing that he could do more than offer sympathy to her.
"It does. Even now, I'll see something, or hear a joke, and my first thought is, 'Mom would love that!' And then I remember that I can't tell her, can't show her. Never easy."
Will bit his lip, feeling awkward. "Hey, I'll suggest a topic change now," he blurted out. "What are you doing next weekend?"
"Not this weekend, but next weekend?"
"Yeah."
"Um, well, nothing much. Some work, I think, but no schoolwork."
"Well . . ." he said, crossing his fingers that this would work out, "Would you mind if I invited myself up? I'd love to get a chance to see you again, and to meet Dawn."
"I could come down to San Diego . . . "
"Nah, it's all right. I'll probably take off from work a day early and go visit my mother, actually. I'd be staying with her anyways, so it'll all work out."
"Well, I don't know. Give away all your good-day karma to me, braving the freeways to see me, and willing to meet my sister. I'm becoming worried that you're too good to be true."
Will chuckled. Despite the rough spots in their conversation, he felt like they were connecting. They weren't just floating along on witty quips and surface discussion; they were finding out about each other. And Will, for one, just wanted to know more about Buffy.
"Don't have anything to worry about, love. You can pinch me when I visit, make sure I'm real."
"Ooo, and I know just the place to pinch you," she said, and he could picture the devilish grin on her face. "And I think that's just the right amount of ego stroking for you. Don't want you to get such a good idea of yourself, you get all cocky and run off after some supermodel."
"Not in a million years, love. I'd probably just run off after you."
She sighed into the phone. "Okay, there's the sappiness again. I can't wait to see you again."
He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "Ditto. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," she said. "Um, I just want to say--I was kinda worried that I had moved too fast on Saturday, but it's only because . . . well, I wanted you to know--I like you." She laughed weakly. "I didn't mean to just blurt that out, but it just had to come out."
Will felt his heart beat a bit faster. "Well, I like you too. A lot. Make you feel any better, to not be out there all alone?"
"Yeah, it does." She paused. "Okay, I have to go, before I let my mouth say things that my brain is determined to keep secret, for now at least."
Will chuckled again. "Right there with you on that one. Must keep my air of mystery, you know--it's a big part of this British charm."
"You keep talking about 'British charm', but I've yet to see any of it. Perhaps it'll make an appearance next weekend?" Buffy teased.
"Annoying chit," he muttered, hearing her laugh. "I'll call you tomorrow, love."
"Night, Will."
Will dropped the phone into the cradle, and propped his chin up on his hands, staring out the window. "Will my boy, you are getting into serious relationship territory," he commented.
And then he smiled. "And I love it."
End, Chapter Four
By Melissa(dettiot@yahoo.com)
Rating: PG-13 mostly, with one NC-17 epilogue.
Spoilers: Through Chosen.
Author's Note: Spike/Buffy, but only kinda. This story is a bit odd. Also posted on my website(http://lostinwonderland.org/buffy/fanfic.html).
Song lyric in the chapter title is "I Only Wanna Be With You," as performed by Dusty Springfield.
Chapter Four: Ever Since We Met You've Had a Hold On Me
Buffy burst through the door of her apartment, a whirl of motion and energy. The drive from San Diego had seemed to take forever, and then she had to take care of some errands, including picking Dawn up from her friend's house. But she was home now, and she dove for the phone.
"Sheesh," Dawn commented, following her sister into the apartment. "You're entirely too peppy. What happened to you this weekend?"
Buffy turned towards Dawn, the cordless phone tucked against her shoulder as she dug through her purse for Will's number. "I have no idea what you mean, Dawn. I just have to make a phone call."
"Right," Dawn said. "A phone call . . . to a guy," she teased in a sing-song voice.
Buffy stopped digging and stared at her sister. "Huh? How'd you guess?"
Dawn snorted. "Please. Seen this two times before, and heard your stories about that guy in college. Although I've never seen it this bad. I hope he's really cute."
Buffy grinned. "Gorgeous. And now I'm going to call him, from my room. You're on your own for dinner."
Dawn looked puzzled. "Buffy, it's only two o'clock in the afternoon. You've never talked on the phone that long, even pre-Slayer."
"First time for everything, sister dear." Buffy giggled and dashed into her room, leaving a shocked Dawn behind.
Buffy dropped her bags on the floor, and flopped down on the bed. But instead of punching in Will's number, she paused, gazing at the piece of paper she held in her hand.
"What am I doing?" she asked herself aloud. Dawn was right--she'd never been this giddy over a guy before, even when she was fourteen and finally caught the attention of what's-his-name, the guy that every girl in school had wanted.
She had barely known Will for a few hours, yet she had engaged in a serious liplock and some heavy-duty relationship discussion, if only vaguely. Ever since Angel, she hadn't been one to jump in feet-first; her experience with Parker had only confirmed the fact that chemistry wasn't enough to build a relationship. Of course, chemistry was good, seeing as how she'd had none with Riley. Even though he had been a nice guy, and what any sane girl should want in a boyfriend, he hadn't excited her.
Buffy sighed, and blew her bangs out of her eyes. There was no reason to freak out, yet. Sure, they had done some kissing, but it wasn't like she had anything to be ashamed about. And living hours apart might be good, at least at the beginning of whatever she had with Will. It'd certainly help her figure out if there was more to him than good looks and the ability to turn her into Jell-O.
Before her doubts could return for round two, she quickly dialed Will's number, her breath coming fast.
"Hello?"
"Hi," she answered, feeling much calmer at the sound of his voice.
"Hey! Home all safe and sound?"
"Yeah--although I think my sister is looking for the pod I must have crawled out of. Happy Buffy has been such a rare visitor lately, Dawn's probably feeling like she's in a remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers."
"Well, since I like Happy Buffy, among the many Buffies I've met so far, we'll have to see about keeping her around."
Buffy laughed into the phone. "So what did you do all day, while I was stuck in traffic?"
She heard a slight pause, and then he cleared his throat. "Um, writing."
"Writing? I thought you worked at a college."
"How'd you find that out?" Will asked, already pretty sure whom she'd asked.
"I bribed Rich to get the info this morning. And don't worry, I just bribed him with breakfast."
"Remind me to find some new, less talkative friends," Will said, his voice joking. "Yes, I work in PR for a college down here. But what I really do is write."
"How is that going for you?" Buffy asked, rolling onto her back.
"It's good. Had a book of short stories published last year, so the next step is a novel. I've got an idea I'm working on now, seeing what develops."
Buffy sighed. "It must be great, to know what you want to do, and to be good at it."
"It's satisfying. Doesn't make the days I want to throw the computer out the bloody window any less frustrating though."
Buffy nodded in agreement. "I get that. I had moments like that . . ." She trailed off, suddenly realizing how close she came to saying "when I was Slaying." A conversation definitely not to be begun now. Maybe not ever.
She hurriedly tried to finish her sentence without attracting attention. ". . . in a job I had."
A silence fell between them, but unlike on Saturday night, Buffy didn't rush to fill it with words. She merely listened to his breathing, wondering what expression was on his face, what emotion was lurking within his eyes.
Will was the one to speak this time. "So tell me . . . what was the last thing you read that just knocked you out?"
Buffy smiled happily, remembering his words from the previous evening. "A poem that I had to read for class. It didn't feel like schoolwork, because it just spoke to me. Neruda's sonnet #17."
Will paused, and said, "I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz/or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off./I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,/in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
Buffy let out the breath she'd inhaled when he had started reciting. "Wow. Will, that was amazing."
She could practically hear him blushing. "It's one of my favorites. Probably my favorite Neruda. So many people prefer 'I Crave Your Mouth,' but #17 has always seemed . . . more real to me. More basic and elemental."
"I know what you mean," Buffy replied softly. She sighed, and said, "So do you like poetry?"
"Love it," he said. "Can't write it for crap, so I let other people speak for me in that arena."
"I suck with words, myself," Buffy commented.
"Not at all, love--don't sell yourself short. Anyone who can quip like you is no lightweight. And you even can use big words when under the influence of my devastating charm."
Buffy laughed. "You were hoping I would be so dazzled by the compliment, I wouldn't cut you down to size over the end of that sentence, weren't you?"
"I'm a guy," Will said. "I always have to push my luck."
"Is that a fact?" Buffy said, her eyebrow raised.
"It's fully laid out in the Bloke's Bible, after 'Thou shalt not ask for directions' and before 'Thou shalt determine the nature of a break with a girlfriend before dating again'."
"Never would have pegged you as a 'Friends' fan, Will."
Will sighed melodramatically. "I was dating a girl who loved it. I watched it some, but it's just a mess now--who cares about Joey and Rachel, not to mention all of Monica's whinging?"
"Don't worry, Will, I still think you're a real guy."
"I should hope so," Will retorted, his voice sounding a bit sulky.
Buffy grinned, amused by this side of Will. Suddenly, there was a click, and Dawn's voice came through the phone. "Hi, Buffy's Mystery Guy. Buffy, you forgot to get peanut butter at the store. Extra-chunky." The extension clicked off, and Buffy groaned.
"Do you have any siblings?"
"Nope, just me."
"Well, that was tame for Dawn. Once, I was on the phone with the guy that every girl wanted to be the one on the other end of the phone. We're talking, and I can tell he's leading up to asking me to the Winter Formal. Then, Dawn picks up the phone, tells the guy I had doodled 'Buffy + Ryan = 4eva' all over my notebooks and that there were several interesting passages in my diary that could be had, for a price." Buffy grimaced at Will's laughter. "Hey, it was very traumatic to my fifteen year-old heart."
Will finished laughing. "So even then, you had the guys falling all over you."
Buffy frowned. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea . . . "Well, it was just silly high school stuff. Sure, I dated, but I tend towards 'serious boyfriend' versus 'revolving door of dates'. Just two boyfriends, and one fling." She paused, biting her lip and wondering if she had gotten too serious.
"S'all right, love, wasn't fishing for your relationship history. No worries."
Buffy waited, expecting him to return the favor. "Well, aren't you gonna spill about your exes now?"
She could practically hear his smirk coming through the phone lines when he spoke. "Nah, I think I'll hold off. Gives you a reason to answer when I call you back."
"Yeah, to tell you that you're a pig," she said, her tone teasing.
"Grown with pride in Great Britain, just for you, pet," he replied. "What does tomorrow hold for you?"
"Work," Buffy sighed. "And I have a paper to work on for next Monday."
"Well, you've got a peanut butter emergency, so I'll let you go, love. But I'll call you tomorrow, if that's okay."
"Okay? It'd be perfect," Buffy said, trying to sound happy even though she was loathe to stop talking.
"Cheer up, Buffy. I know you'll have a great day tomorrow."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "And how do you know that, Mr. Psychic?" she asked skeptically.
"Simple. I know you will, because you're bloody amazing."
Buffy felt a rush of sweetness at his words. "I'm gonna get used to this sweet talk pretty quick, if you keep it up."
Will's voice dropped. "Just the truth as I see it. You take care of yourself."
Buffy sighed. "I will. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
She hung up the phone before she could say something stupid, like "We barely know each other but I'm already falling for you." She had never been one for expressing her emotions, but she felt so free with Will that she was forgetting her rules.
'Remember, you can never take back words,' she told herself as she left her bedroom to deal with Dawn's PB withdrawal.
**
Will dragged himself into his house on Monday evening, never so happy to be home as he was at that moment. His day had, in a word, sucked. He had woken up late, cut himself shaving, nearly gotten into an accident on the way to work, and then dumped coffee all over himself ten minutes after he had walked in the door. He'd been given a huge new project that was designed to promote the college beyond their traditional recruitment areas, which meant a lot more work on his off-hours, and thus less time for writing. And to top it all off, he had niggling doubts all day about Buffy.
He slammed into his kitchen, opening and closing cabinets and the refrigerator as hard as he wanted, needing the noise. Needing to release some of the tension he felt about Buffy. He could already tell he was falling head-first for her. Of course, he normally fell hard and fast for a girl when she caught his interest, but he'd never gone into a free fall like this before.
Will dropped a plate, and roared as it broke into pieces all over the floor. "Bloody fuck!" he ranted, nearly pounding his fist through the countertop. Forgetting all thoughts of dinner, he stalked out of the kitchen and went to his study, plopped down at his desk, and pulled the phone towards him. He dialed Buffy's number, consciously trying to keep his breathing under control.
"Hello?"
Will paused, feeling thrown for a loop. It sounded like he'd gotten Buffy's sister. "Um, Dawn, right?"
"Yep. Who's this?"
"I'm Will--I'm a friend of Buffy's?" he said, cringing at the way he sounded. The next thing you knew, he'd be an even bigger ponce and ask Dawn if Buffy had talked about him.
"Ohhhh," Dawn said, her voice becoming more cheerful. "Buffy's 'friend'. So, Will, what did you do to my sister, to turn her into a human being? Although if we're gonna get into NC-17 territory, you might want to withhold the details."
Will opened and closed his mouth, thrown for a loop. He then heard the sound of voices and what sounded like a small fight over the phone, before Buffy's flustered voice came through the phone. "You know, she's regressing to a 12 year-old more and more every day. I'm starting to get a bit concerned. She might need to go to a doctor, or get an 8 o'clock curfew."
Will could hear Dawn's voice fading in the background, before he managed to say, "Um, hi, Buffy."
"Don't worry, I'm in my room now, and Dawn's gotten the hint, I think, to knock it off. So how are you doing?" she asked cheerfully.
He groaned. "Awful. I was going to wait till later to call you, but I knew if I didn't calm down, I was gonna do something stupid."
"Oh, Will. How stupid are we talking about?"
He smiled at both her concern and her question. "'Punch my hand through a wall' stupid. You'd think I'd learn after the second broken finger, but I'm a slow learner in that aspect."
He could hear Buffy 'hmmm' into the phone. "So what made today so bad?"
"Just a little bit of everything, but the worst part was that I got this new assignment at work, and it means I'll have less time for writing. And I feel like I'm really getting somewhere with this latest idea."
"That must suck. I've had periods where what I wanted conflicted with what I had to do--actually, that's the story of my life. So I feel your pain and all that."
Will smiled. "Appreciated, pet. Do I at least have the satisfaction of knowing that your day went well?"
He could almost picture her bouncing on her bed, she sounded so happy. "Oh my God, Will! I had the best day. I made a ton of sales, and then I came up with a great angle for my paper that I'm sure will blow my professor out of the water. And it's all because of you, I know it."
"Guess it's just a case that I gave away all my luck to you."
"Well, you're just too nice, then. Keep some for yourself. I want you to get super successful, so that I can feel all important for knowing a distinguished writer who's also-" Buffy stopped herself mid-sentence.
"Who's also what, Buffy?" he asked, curious. When she mumbled something into the phone, he said, "What was that?"
He heard her sigh, and then she said, "A distinguished writer who's also too damn attractive."
Will felt a smile spread across his face. "Attractive, huh?"
"Well, you have looked in a mirror lately, I'm sure you know that you're gorgeous." Her voice was tinged with irritation, but he sensed that it was directed more at herself than at him.
"Love, the feeling is more than mutual. And you've just made my day."
Will smiled into the phone, loving talking to her. Loving hearing her voice, sounding a bit shy when she said, "Okay, new topic before the sappiness overwhelms this phone call and dooms it."
He laughed, and said, "Ball's in your court, love."
"Okay," she said, pausing for a moment. "What's England like? I had a mentor when I was growing up who's English, but we never really talked about what it was like, and I've never even been out of California."
"Now that is just criminal, if I do say so myself. We'll have to rectify that at some point," he said, not letting himself panic over suggesting mutual vacations and implying a deeper relationship between them.
He leaned back in his chair, and closed his eyes so he could see the images he was remembering more clearly. "England's so different from here. First off, there's the rain. It rains a little every day. No rhyme or reason to the when or how long; you'll be walking along and the skies will just open up with a soft, fine rain. Because of the rain, it's so green in the parks. I grew up in London, and I made some trips into Kent, and Derbyshire, and even to my eyes, it was a green that seemed bigger than the word, you know?"
Buffy sighed a bit into the phone, and said, "Go on."
"And there's the food. Everyone makes jokes about English cooking, but there's nothing like it when you want to get comfort out of what you're putting in your mouth. Even now, if I'm feeling a bit down, I'll go visit my mum, and she'll make Yorkshire pudding for me, and we'll have scones with plenty of cream and jam. And real scones, mind you, light and soft, none of this heavy-ass American pastry. Of course, I break tradition by having a Guinness with it all, rather than a cup of tea."
She giggled, and asked, "You're really close to your mom, aren't you? I envy you that."
Will paused, struck by the note of sadness in her voice. "What about you and your mother?"
"Oh, we had the usual rough patches when I was younger, especially with my parents' divorce and our move to Sunnydale. But, it's your mom, you know? No matter how mad you are at her, you still love her." She sighed again, and said, with a catch of her voice, "My mom died about three and a half years ago. It was really sudden, and I didn't . . . adjust very well to being the grown-up and responsible for Dawn, especially since I was only twenty-one."
"What about your father?"
Buffy snorted. "I haven't seen him since I was 15. He's been too busy living in Spain with his new wife, who's only two years older than me."
"Oh, pet," Will said, feeling his heart ache for her. "It's so tough to lose someone you love. And then to have someone else to take care of, too . . . didn't you have any help?"
"I was lucky enough to have my friends, and Giles--that's the mentor I was talking about earlier--to help out with some money and lots of help around the house. It might not have been enough at the time, but we still made it through. And because of all that, I think Dawn and I are both better for it, and we've certainly got a bond that can't be broken."
"Still, I'm sorry. It sounds like something that affects you a lot," Will said, wishing that he could do more than offer sympathy to her.
"It does. Even now, I'll see something, or hear a joke, and my first thought is, 'Mom would love that!' And then I remember that I can't tell her, can't show her. Never easy."
Will bit his lip, feeling awkward. "Hey, I'll suggest a topic change now," he blurted out. "What are you doing next weekend?"
"Not this weekend, but next weekend?"
"Yeah."
"Um, well, nothing much. Some work, I think, but no schoolwork."
"Well . . ." he said, crossing his fingers that this would work out, "Would you mind if I invited myself up? I'd love to get a chance to see you again, and to meet Dawn."
"I could come down to San Diego . . . "
"Nah, it's all right. I'll probably take off from work a day early and go visit my mother, actually. I'd be staying with her anyways, so it'll all work out."
"Well, I don't know. Give away all your good-day karma to me, braving the freeways to see me, and willing to meet my sister. I'm becoming worried that you're too good to be true."
Will chuckled. Despite the rough spots in their conversation, he felt like they were connecting. They weren't just floating along on witty quips and surface discussion; they were finding out about each other. And Will, for one, just wanted to know more about Buffy.
"Don't have anything to worry about, love. You can pinch me when I visit, make sure I'm real."
"Ooo, and I know just the place to pinch you," she said, and he could picture the devilish grin on her face. "And I think that's just the right amount of ego stroking for you. Don't want you to get such a good idea of yourself, you get all cocky and run off after some supermodel."
"Not in a million years, love. I'd probably just run off after you."
She sighed into the phone. "Okay, there's the sappiness again. I can't wait to see you again."
He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. "Ditto. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah," she said. "Um, I just want to say--I was kinda worried that I had moved too fast on Saturday, but it's only because . . . well, I wanted you to know--I like you." She laughed weakly. "I didn't mean to just blurt that out, but it just had to come out."
Will felt his heart beat a bit faster. "Well, I like you too. A lot. Make you feel any better, to not be out there all alone?"
"Yeah, it does." She paused. "Okay, I have to go, before I let my mouth say things that my brain is determined to keep secret, for now at least."
Will chuckled again. "Right there with you on that one. Must keep my air of mystery, you know--it's a big part of this British charm."
"You keep talking about 'British charm', but I've yet to see any of it. Perhaps it'll make an appearance next weekend?" Buffy teased.
"Annoying chit," he muttered, hearing her laugh. "I'll call you tomorrow, love."
"Night, Will."
Will dropped the phone into the cradle, and propped his chin up on his hands, staring out the window. "Will my boy, you are getting into serious relationship territory," he commented.
And then he smiled. "And I love it."
End, Chapter Four