The Pact – Chapter 7

There are way too many spiders around. Seriously, I was walking home from school on Thursday and I walked right into a spider web. Then, today, I got into the shower and there was a spider drowning. Dumb things. *shudders* They give me the creeps more now than ever thanks to Harry Potter! Anyways, how've u all been?;) Ok, I hope this chapter isn't crap, but school is mean and takes up a hell of a lot of my brainwaves. So, onward… please read and review, thanks!:)

This chapter is dedicated to my amazing little high schooler, Yen. You've given me quite the fright.;) Feel better soon, hun! (Oh, and get online soon, too.:p)

  

He held Rachel in his arms and sighed. It was amazing. It was everything he had always dreamed about. His head spun and his heart raced from more than just exertion. It was as if everything he had ever wanted in his entire life was right there, breathing lightly in his very arms.

…And yet, nothing was right. This wasn't how he dreamed it would be! There was awkwardness, conflicting feelings for one another, and, above all, there was the ominous guilt hanging over their heads like a storm cloud. It wasn't fair! He had waited long, yet patiently for this moment, and, now that it was here, it was nothing like he dreamed it would be. This couldn't be it. There had to be more – something better, lurking in the distance. Yet, in the back of his head, he knew, even before she spoke, that this was, in deed it in its entirety.

Rachel stirred and turned towards Joey, a bashful look upon her face. Suddenly, she was shamefully aware of the situation. Adultery, a voice hissed in the back of her head, I thought you were at least above that. She had betrayed her husband. She had betrayed two of her closest friends. She had betrayed her own daughter. She had persuaded Joey to do the same. Everything in her mind seemed blurred and muffled with restrained tears. The only thing that made sense was the looming anticipation of her eternal damnation, which she felt certain was waiting for her.

"Joey, I…"

He looked down at the comforter. "Yeah?"

"I don't know about this. I mean –"

"Yeah, I know."

"We shouldnt've…I shouldnt've…"

"No, it's on both of us here. I mean I could've said no, but I didn't."

"I, well, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Um, it's okay."

He knew it wasn't going to work out. He wasn't surprised at what she had said. In fact, a part of him was relieved. Of course he wanted to be with Rachel, but he didn't want to betray Ross and Phoebe anymore. Just doing it once supplied him with enough guilt to fuel a jet plane. Still, he couldn't help but wonder…

"So, do you - do you…feel anything more?"

"I…" she looked away, "I can't lie to you. I mean I don't know…for sure. But it doesn't feel like what happened helped me much..."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Joey."

"No, no it's ok. Don't be."

"But –"

"Look, it's okay. I mean I," he shrugged, "I don't feel anything for you, either."

Rachel nodded, but he knew she could see right through him. She could always see right through him.  He rose and collected his clothing, Rachel's eyes fixated on the wall opposite him. It wasn't that she didn't feel anything for him, but it certainly wasn't enough to throw away a marriage and a friendship in order to merely attempt at a relationship.

Blindly, she grabbed her clothes and dressed, her mind completely elsewhere. She had wanted him – on a physical level. But now…now that she had that rush of adrenaline associated with things forbidden, now that she lived the life of more than just a mother and working wife, the electric waves within her were replaced with irreversible guilt.

She moved towards the door after Joey, only to walk straight into him. Rachel sighed and looked up, about to ask him why he had stopped, when her breath was caught in her lungs. She arrived just in time to see the angry glance thrown towards her and Joey, before the door slammed shut and they were left alone once more. Slowly, the two turned towards each other, sharing horrified looks. Then, Joey twisted swiftly on his heel, and ran from the apartment. Rachel looked down at her feet, shamefully.

Joey ran as fast as his legs would let him. He was barely aware of the movement, though. His eyes were cast straight ahead as he desperately searched for a familiar face in the crowd of the busy Manhattan street. No such luck. He slowed his pace and stood still, huffing, for a minute. Then, he surveyed his surroundings once more, before retreating to his apartment dejectedly.

When he entered the apartment, he was more than ready to just throw himself in bed. Too much had happened in the past few hours. Thoughts were flying through his brain at the speed of light. He needed to just forget it all and sleep. Barley lifting his feet off the ground, he headed straight for his bedroom. However, he stopped when he noticed something suspicious lying on the couch. He raised his eyebrows and slowly crept forward. As he got closer, he noticed the blond hair hanging over the edge of the couch and sighed. She had been there after all!

For a moment, he thought of not waking her, but he knew he had to talk to her. Hoping she wouldn't run away before allowing him to explain everything, he went over and shook her lightly.

She didn't stir.

He moved closer and shook her harder.

Nothing.

"Phoebe?"

Then, he noticed the empty bottle on the floor and lost all traction below him.

Rachel paced the length of her apartment's living room nervously. She didn't know what to do, what to say, when Ross came back. Should she be honest? Should she just admit to everything and allow him to see he had been right all along? That she had been cheating on him, even when she told him she hadn't. Well, she actually hadn't been cheating on him then, but that wouldn't matter at the moment. The only thing that mattered is she had cheated, even just once.

On the other hand, she hated when Ross was right. It drove her crazy. He was always so smug about things. She didn't want him to have that advantage lurking over her all her life. Then again, how much would he even want her included in her life is she did tell him the truth?

Emma. She was the reason he couldn't cut Rachel out of his life. On the other hand, he still could. He could try to take Emma away from her! But mothers always won child custody cases – didn't they? They might not if they had committed adultery.

Still, even if they did still speak, how could she put her daughter through that? Ross would always feel some spite towards Rachel, and there would always be tension between them. Emma would be forced to choose sides, and that would not be fair to her. 

She didn't know what to do.

The door opened and Rachel turned violently towards it, startled. Ross entered with a dark expression on his face. He looked up at Rachel, eyes passing over her until they focused on the wall behind her. Curious, she took a step towards him. He didn't move his eyes.

"I dropped Emma off at my mom's."

"Okay, but um, why?"

He shrugged.

Ross, what's – what's wrong?"

"It's," he swallowed, eyes unfocused, "It's Phoebe."

Okay, we're getting to the finishing line…sorta. Hopefully, I'll find more time/energy to update soon. Thanks for the great reviews last chapter. Please review again, thanks!:)