The Pact – Chapter 8

OMG, I had my first driving lesson with an instructor today. I was so fricken nervous. I've never driven with anyone, aside from my parents, before. The guy had this really strong accent, too, and I could barely understand him. At one point, he was telling me how he was gonna take cones out of the trunk so I could practice parallel parking, and I made him repeat it 3 times before I heard "cones" instead of "curb" lol. Fun stuff. Fuuun stuff. Anyways, yeah, I don't really have anything to say about this chapter. Please read and review, thanks!:)

Ross and Rachel entered the hospital waiting room, both panting breathlessly. Immediately upon entering, Monica walked towards them with watery eyes. She hugged Ross, and then Rachel silently, before heading back to her seat. Rachel and Ross followed her and sat down in two small blue chairs, next to hers. For the first two minutes, Rachel alternating between biting and licking her bottom lip, while Ross shook his right leg nervously. Finally, he turned to Monica with questioning eyes, although he didn't dare speak the words.

"Nothing," Monica stated simply.

Ross nodded and turned back, staring at the wall before him.

"So, uh," he continued, "Did you drop your kids off with mom and dad?"

"Yeah, right after you dropped off Emma."

Ross nodded again, and licked his dry lips. "Where's Chandler?"

"He's, uh, with Joey. Trying to…ya know…calm him down."

"Oh. Oh, ok."

Rachel listened to Monica and Ross as they continued to make small talk. She, however, could not listen to what they were saying. She felt so guilty. How could she have been so selfish, so stupid, such a terrible friend? No matter how she did the math, it was her fault Phoebe was lying in some cold hospital bed, completely unconscious.

Even though there had been two people in that bed, there was only one person doing the seducing. She was the one who could resist; Joey, on the other hand, felt too much for Rachel to deny her. Not only had she betrayed Phoebe, but she used Joey, as well. She used him in order to quell of physical need for him. She had craved to do something different with her life, and she, indeed had. Even within the warmth of the hospital waiting room, Rachel shuddered involuntarily. She became someone she had never been before. A cheater.  

Joey paced back and forth in front of the bare hospital door, waiting anxiously for something – anything – to happen. Waiting without knowing what was going to happen was driving him mad. He needed something to happen – something to let him know Phoebe was okay.

The guilt he felt continued to build up with every passing moment. If I had just been a better husband – a better friend. He should have been there for her more. He should have acknowledged her problem and then helped her through it, instead of looking the other way. Most of all, he should not have cheated. He should have resisted his desire. Then, Phoebe would still be conscious, still be happy, and most of all, still be…Phoebe. But, she was going to be okay, though. She had to be okay. Didn't she?

As Joey turned this question over in his mind, he looked at Chandler, who was sitting on one of the chairs that lined one side of the hall. Judging solely by his look, Chandler guessed what question Joey was silently asking him. He sighed and got up slowly, looking Joey straight in the eyes.

"She's gonna be okay."

"I know. I mean she has to be. I mean…" he paused and began to pace once more, "I don't know."

"She is."

"But how do you know?"

"I just do."

Joey turned away and silently studied the bleak wall to his right. "That's not enough anymore."

"What's not enough?"

"Just knowing." Joey turned violently to face Chandler, "Just knowing that something's going to be okay, isn't enough! How do you know?!"

Chandler stared at Joey, taken a back by his sudden angry outburst. Joey turned away once more, now ashamed of his anger as well, but unable to apologize. Chandler watched the side of Joey's dark head, as he ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"Well, honestly" he began in a low tone, "I don't know that she's going to be okay. I don't know for sure, no. But I have this feeling she'll be. I have faith in –"

"Faith in who? God?!" Joey shook his head reproachfully, "God can be cruel."

"No, not God. I wasn't gonna say God."

"Yeah? Then what else can you have faith in? The doctors? Medicines? Huh?! They all fail, Chandler!"

"No, I don't have faith in the doctors, I don't have faith in the medicines, none of that. I have faith in something much more powerful."

"Ok, then what do you have faith in?"

Chandler sat back down, although never broke eye contact with Joey. "I have faith in Phoebe."

Joey swallowed hard and stared at Chandler blankly.  He had never thought of it that way before. However, the more he contemplated Chandler's words, the more they made sense. He had to stop worrying so much. She was, after all, one of the strongest people he knew. Fate was out of his hands. It was up to Phoebe, now.

"Yeah, yeah. You're right. I have faith in her. I do."

"Good," Chandler rose and clapped Joey lightly on the shoulder. "There's no use standing out here getting in these nurse's way. How 'bout we get some coffee."

Joey nodded slowly. "Coffee sounds good."

"Good."

Chandler turned to his right and walked down the corridor. Joey stared at Phoebe's door for a moment longer, before following Chandler's disappearing figure down the hall.

After sitting in relative silence for a half an hour, Ross declared that he was going to find Joey and Chandler. Monica rose, intending to follow him, when Rachel grabbed her arm. Monica turned around and sat back down, questioning Rachel with her eyes.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah, sure. What's up?"

"I, uh, well…hmm."

Rachel hadn't quite thought of how she would introduce the topic of the past few weeks to Monica. Aside from Monica's tendency to be overly critical of her friends' wrongdoings, it was Ross – Monica's brother - that she had betrayed. Normally, Rachel would have brought a situation like this to Phoebe. However, that was obviously out of the question for this situation. Still, she was so conflicted. She needed advice. Therefore, she gritted her teeth and continued.

"What is it, Rach?"

"Well, uh, would you ever cheat on Chandler?"

Monica looked completely stunned by the nature of Rachel's question, and, Rachel had actually been stunned, too. She hadn't meant to ask such a blunt question. It had just magically rolled off her tongue.

"Of course I would never cheat on Chandler! Why would you even think that?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just wondering if it's ever okay to cheat on a spouse."

"No, of course it's not okay," Monica stared at Rachel incredulously, "How could that be okay? It's adultery!"

'Yeah, no, I know that. It's just…what if the person is unbearably unhappy in their relationship?"

"Well, then they talk to their spouse and see if anything can be done to make things better. If not, then it probably isn't worth staying married, anyhow." Monica paused, "Chandler didn't…put you up to this or –"

"NO! Oh God, honey, no! I'm sorry, I was just wondering."

Monica put a hand to her chest and sighed. "Okay, I was pretty sure, but well, you got me thinking for a moment…"

"No! No! If only all marriages could be as great as yours!"

Monica smiled, despite the dreary situation. "Well, then what's spurring on this curiosity?"

"Nothing. Just curious. Do I really need a reason to be curious?"

"Well, no. It's just…usually, something spurs it on, that's all."

"Nope, nothing. Just wondering."

"Okay, I see. Well, I'm gonna go see wh–"

"Wait!"  

"What?" Monica asked, a hint of exasperation apparent in her tone.

"I have another question."

"Okay?"

"Now, what if this person happened to have cheated on their spouse. What would you suggest then? Should they tell their hus – err, spouse or just leave it in the past?"

Monica raised her eyebrows suspiciously. "I would recommend they tell their spouse. After all, one of the pillars of marriage is honesty."

"But wouldn't it just make things worse between the couple?"

"Probably. But, could you image the guilt the person who cheated would feel…for the rest of his or her life?! This person would have to keep their secret locked up deep inside them until they die. If it were me, I don't think I would be able to handle that."

"Yeah…I…see your point. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Monica answered, before looking wearily towards Rachel and headed out the door.

Rachel sighed and buried her head in her hands. She hated when Monica was right. There was no way she would be able to live the rest of her life knowing that Ross never suspected a thing. She had to be honest, and change around her life before it was too late. 

When Joey returned to Phoebe's room, an hour later, he saw the door opened and a doctor standing beside her bed. Cautiously, he made his way inside, just as the doctor was heading out.

"Any change?" Joey asked.

"No, I'm sorry."

"Oh, ok. Well, thank you."

The doctor nodded somberly, before exiting the room. Joey sucked in a deep breath and walked towards the bed. He brushed a few long strands of blonde out of Phoebe's face and sighed. She looked so peaceful, with her eyes closed lightly and hair spread out underneath her body. Joey idly wondered if she really felt as peaceful as she looked.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and grasped Phoebe's hand lightly within his own. He brushed it softly with his thumb as he stared down at their entwined hands.

"Phoebe," he began softly, "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to talk, anyway…ya know, like they do in movies? Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Now, I know that sorry isn't going to cut it. I know that you'll hate me for the rest of your life, but I'm sorry, anyway. I'm so sorry!" Joey paused as he squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed the lump in his throat. "I'm really sorry. Just…just get better, okay? You can hate me forever, but…get better. Okay? I need you to do that. I can't live knowing you're hurt. You're one of my best friends and I love you so much. Just do that for me, okay? No, no, just do that for yourself. Okay?" Joey paused and focused on the foot of the bed, "This is crazy. You can't hear me, can you?" Then, he shook his head and walked out the door.

Rachel walked through the halls aimlessly, trying to gather her thoughts. When she passed the waiting room, she noticed Ross' dark head bent forward. Taking in a deep breath, Rachel forced herself to go in and talk to him. She had to do it now, even if it wasn't the most appropriate time. She knew she would lose her nerve if she waited any longer. Slowly, she entered the waiting room and sat down next to Ross. He picked his head up and nodded at her, before looking towards the opposite wall.

"Hey, Ross, can we, uh, talk?"

"Yeah, sure," he turned his body, as well as his head, towards her, "What's up?"

"Uh, nothing really. It's just…I just…I need to confess something to you."

"Yeah?" he gave her a quizzical look, "Rach, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just…you're gonna hate me after I tell you this."

"I doubt that."

"Oh, I'm not so sure."

"Well, what is it?"

"It's just…okay," she looked down at her feet. She realized she just had to pull off the bandage in one, swift motion. "I slept with another man."

There was a pause as Ross processed the information he had just received.

"Wh – what?"

"I'm sorry."

"You cheated?"

"Yeah, I…yeah."

"I can't believe this…I knew it."

"I'm really sorry, Ross! It's just, I was feeling so lo –"

"You were feeling, yeah. You considered your feelings. But how about mine?!"

"I'm sorry! I made a mistake."

"A mistake?" Ross shook his head in disbelief, "That's more than a mistake."

"What?! You slept with someone else before!"

"Hey, we were on –"

"A break, uh huh, yeah I know."

"Yeah! And, not only that, but this is totally different!"

"How?!"

"We're married!"

"SO?! Back then, we were in love! Our relationship really mattered! Now, we just got together because it was easy and it was there. It's not about feelings anymore!"

Ross paused and rose from his chair, before continuing, "Maybe it's not about feelings for you."

Then, Ross walked out of the waiting room, with not so much as a second glance at Rachel. She plopped down in one of the chairs and allowed her head to fall in her hands as she cried.

Okay, thanks for reading! Please review, thanks!:) Now, I have to go live it up and read Beowulf. Don't wait up.;)  (P.S. Yen: HEYYYY! YOU GOT THE DOOR OPENED!! …well, actually, what I mean to say is u got urself offline, but that ruins the line.)